


The Moon on a String

by rhysands_highlady



Series: The Lucky Ones Series [1]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Best Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, M/M, Slow Burn, Sugar-coated angst, fake dating but not who you'd expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-09-12 05:43:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 94,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16867198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhysands_highlady/pseuds/rhysands_highlady
Summary: Prequel to The Lucky Ones.Two years before Feyre Archeron arrives in Hollywood the production of Throne of Glass begins under producer Lucien Vanserra, bringing Rhysand Spera into the spotlight where his cousin, Morrigan, already shines.





	1. Prologue

Lucien Vanserra sat at his desk in his large office at Prythian Studios. Sunlight streamed in through the wall of windows, giving the room a sort of glow. Outside of the windows was a balcony that was empty of everything but a small pot of crocuses. The flowers were dead as of now, seeing as they bloomed in autumn and it was spring.

The cushioned leather chair he sat in matched the two on the other side of the desk, though it had a higher back, and the desk in front of him was an organized mess. He knew where everything was, but someone else would not. 

It was a quarter to noon on a Tuesday, and he was waiting for an author to show up. Amren had sent him the book for him to read. It was sitting on his desk atop a stack of papers.

Surprisingly, he had enjoyed it. He didn’t enjoy many books that Amren sent him from authors trying to option their books for the big screen, but he had enjoyed this one. He had big dreams for this one. Big dreams.

His father wouldn’t like it. His father didn’t enjoy fantasies, he called them silly. But Lucien hadn’t cared what his father thought for a long time. And though he loved Jesminda, there was a part of him that went into their relationship wanting to spite his father. 

She had expressed her concerns about his father, but he had assured her it would be alright. They’d be alright. He had a feeling she didn’t believe him.

Lucien frowned at the thought, but he shoved it down, easing his face into mild content as a knock came from the door. It opened a crack and Andras poked his head in.

“Your 12 o’clock is here, Mr. Vanserra,” he announced and Lucien sighed, leaning back in his seat.

“I’ve told you to call me Lucien,” Lucien drawled, picking up a pen and twirling it between his fingers. Andras nodded and Lucien smiled back at him. “Send her in then.” 

Andras nodded and disappeared behind the door. The door reopened a moment later and a blonde woman stepped into his office, a purse on her shoulder and a book in her hands.

He could tell her smile wasn’t fake as she said, “Hi, you must be Mr. Vanserra.” He stood and reached out his hand to her, returning her smile, as she stepped towards the desk. She took his hand and shook it.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Maas, I very much enjoyed your book, please have a seat.”

\----------------

Eight months after speaking with Mrs. Maas, Lucien was buzzing. The script was finished, and he couldn’t help but be excited. The prospect of this film-- _his film_ \-- was growing. 

He swiped his key card in the elevator of his apartment building, and was practically bouncing with energy as it began to ascend. He wanted to tell Jesminda about his day, but when the elevator doors opened, the apartment was dark.

“Jes?” Lucien called as he journeyed further into their apartment. No answer.

He reached the kitchen and found a note on the counter written in Jesminda’s curling print. 

_Lucien,_

_I love you, truly I do, but I cannot do this. I cannot live with the shadow of your father looming over our relationship. With the pressure of Hollywood weighing us down as well._

_So I’ve gone. I’ve left this judgemental city behind and I have no intention of returning. I’m so sorry._

_You’ll be alright._

_Sincerely,_

_Your dearest Jesminda_

The room was spinning. 

Lucien flung the note back onto the counter as if it had burned him and took a step back. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his hands in his hair.

She couldn’t have just… left. Not his Jesminda. She wouldn’t just leave. Unless she would, and Lucien didn’t know her very well at all.

He stumbled down the hallway to their bedroom. The room was still neat and tidy, yes, but there was something missing. Some _one_ missing. Her and her things were gone without a trace. 

Lucien choked on a sob and sat down on the edge of his bed and bowed his head, his eyes falling closed. He breathed in.

 _Love is weakness, Lucien._ His father.

Out.

 _You should learn it now before you get hurt._ His mother.

In.

 _Don’t let them see you break._ Eris.

Out.

Lucien opened his eyes and blinked a few times before returning to the kitchen, picking up the note, and throwing it in the trash can. Lucien Vanserra was many things, but he was not weak.

\-------------

_One Month Later_

“RHYS!!!”

Rhys Spera heard his cousin’s voice only seconds before he was engulfed in her arms. She squeezed him tightly and pulled back to look at him. Mor was good at reading people, always knew the truth about how someone was feeling.

She was currently in disguise, sunglasses dangled from her right hand, a floppy sun hat sat on her head obscuring her face. She was hiding from the paparazzi which Rhys knew she didn’t usually do.

“Hello, Mor,” Rhys said, chuckling a bit at the scrutiny in her gaze. Her brown eyes softened and she grinned at him.

“You look healthy, good, healthy people are more likely to get roles,” Mor said, and Rhys rolled his eyes. “What? I’m not wrong. Plus you’re still pretty, and--” She lowered her voice. “I’ve heard Vanserra likes pretty boys even though he doesn’t care to admit it.”

“Mor!” Mor put up her hands in self defence.

“I’m just saying, but then again I’ve also heard he’s still not over his ex-girlfriend.” Mor shrugged and looped her arm through his. “Come on then, let’s get your bags.”

As they waited by the luggage carousel, Mor chattered away about her life, and Hollywood, and her fans. She asked how their family was doing, if Amaris had talked to the boy she liked, if Rhys’s parents were still insufferable, if Cassian and Azriel were as well as they said they were.

“Oh, I almost forgot! I’ve just been cast as the lead role in this movie adaptation of a YA novel, and they’re holding open auditions tomorrow morning.”

“And?” Rhys spotted his second and final bag and reached out to grab it.

“And you’re going to audition, of course.” Mor was grinning at him when he turned back around.

“You’re kidding me.”

“No actually, I already have the script printed out so you can practice,” Mor assured him. Rhys still looked wary so she continued. “Come on, Rhys, if you get this role, we’ll get to work together. It’ll be great!”

After a long moment, Rhys spoke, “Alright then.” Mor threw her fists in the air in victory and Rhys laughed. Maybe this wouldn’t be so difficult after all.


	2. Chapter 2

It was too damn early. Lucien wished he hadn’t agreed to starting the auditions at 8 in the morning, but he had. So now here he was, sitting at a long table with a panel of other people important to the production of this movie.

Kallias sat to his right, their casting director, and Amren sat to his left, executive producer and owner of this lovely studio. She was everyone’s boss. Tamlin sat to Kallias’s left and looked immensely bored. His assistant directors sat on his other side, two twats called Bron and Hart.

Lucien constantly wanted to punch the three of them. He hadn’t even wanted to hire Tamlin, who had only just finished his masters. But their fathers were friends, and Beron had insisted he do it. He may not care what his father thought, but Lucien knew better than to outright disobey Beron. 

That hadn’t stopped him with Jesminda, but Lucien didn’t want to think about her.

So Tamlin was here with the AD’s that they’d allowed him to choose for himself. Amren and Lucien regretted that decision, but neither of them were keen on Tamlin causing some sort of scandal.

Lucien glanced up at the clock on the wall: 8:00. One of the assistants asked if she could bring in the first person. Amren nodded, and a moment later a young girl walked into the room clutching the script in her hands. 

_And so it begins_ , Lucien thought.

\----------------

Rhys was tired even though he’d stayed at Mor’s apartment last night while she went out for some fun. She’d tried to convince him to come along, but he’d been tired then and he was tired now. He hadn’t been able to fall asleep last night, imagining what would happen today.

Mor had woken him up frantically at 8am, claiming they were late. Though how they could be late to a public audition? Rhys hadn’t know. 

That was, he hadn’t known until they reached the studio and were met with a line that wrapped around the block. Mor had groaned and pushed into the middle of the line with a few quick smiles and selfies. 

Rhys didn’t know how she charmed them so easily. 

They’d been in line for hours now, and they were now next to go. Mor was bouncing with energy despite drinking, likely quite excessively, last night.

“Are you nervous?” Mor asked, glancing over at him as he twisted his ring around his finger.

“No.” Yes. Rhys was fucking terrified, but Mor didn’t need to know that. She clicked her tongue like she knew he was lying, which he was. He wished she wasn’t so good at reading him.

A second assistant appeared and whispered something into the first assistant’s ear. The first assistant nodded and turned to address the line.

“Sorry, folks, we’re done for the day!” the man called and Mor’s jaw dropped open.

“Sir, we’ve been waiting for hours,” she protested.

“I’m sorry, miss, there’s nothing I can do.”

“Bullshit,” Mor said before she pushed past the assistant and through the double doors into the audition room.

“Mor!” said Rhys before following after her, covering his face with a hand. A group of people were walking towards a side exit and discussing something, probably casting. 

“Mr. Vanserra!” called Mor, and a redheaded man with a binder under his arm paused and turned back to look at her.

“Miss Morrigan, what are you doing here?” The man-- Vanserra-- asked. Rhys was trying not to stare at him, but Cauldron he was handsome. No, what was he saying? This was a man he was talking about. Not that he didn’t… appreciate male beauty, but Rhys was into girls.

Suddenly, he was yanked forward by Morrigan.

“My cousin wants to audition.” Vanserra glanced over at Rhys and dragged his eyes over him.

Rhys couldn’t help but feel somewhat exposed. The corners of Vanserra’s mouth twitched up as if he knew how uncomfortable his gaze made Rhys feel, and he turned back to Mor before beckoning them forward.

“Lucien, I thought we’d called it a day,” a blond man grumbled. Mr. Vanserra-- Lucien-- looked annoyed and waved the blond man off. A short black-haired woman followed Lucien to the table with a small smile at the blond man’s dismissal. 

Rhys shoved his hands into his pockets as the group of people returned to their seats, including the blond man, though he appeared to be sulking.

“Mr--” Lucien started, clearly waiting for his name.

“Spera. Rhysand Spera,” Rhys answered, and Lucien nodded.

“Well, Mr. Spera, it seems we have time for one more audition,” Lucien said smoothly. Rhys thought he saw the blond man roll his eyes. “Morrigan, I’ll ask you to leave, but if you’d like to stay…”

“Oh, no, no, Mr. Vanserra, I’ll go,” Mor said and began backing towards the door. She gave Rhys two thumbs up and one of her award-winning smiles before she slipped out of the room.

When she was gone, the focus of the room was completely on Rhys.

“Who are you reading for?” a pale-skinned, pale-haired man asked.

“Dorian Havilliard.” The man nodded and jotted something down on his clipboard. Lucien’s eyes were solely on Rhys, but Rhys avoided his eyes. He was sure it was normal. Lucien was probably just testing him somehow. “Begin whenever you’re ready, Lauren--” He gestured to a blonde woman standing to the side. “Will read the other lines.”

Rhys took a deep breath and began speaking. Lucien was still watching him. The man never once looked down at his papers, or wrote something down. He only rested his head on his interlaced fingers and watched Rhys perform.

Midway through the scene, Rhys glanced at him and caught his eyes. Lucien merely raised his eyebrows in question, and Rhys returned his eyes back to Lauren who was reading Celaena’s line.

He still felt Lucien looking at him when he finished the scene. He turned towards the panel once more and met Lucien’s gaze again. It felt like Lucien was looking into his soul. 

The pale-haired man leaned over and whispered something in Lucien’s ear. Lucien turned to the man, his brows furrowing. Rhys watched as Lucien blinked a few times before he nodded his agreement to whatever the man had just said. For a few moments, Lucien stayed there, his brows furrowed before he shook his head slightly as if dismissing thoughts from his head.

Lucien ran a hand through his hair and turned back to Rhys who snapped his gaze back to the pale-haired man as he spoke, “We’ll be in touch, Mr. Spera.”

Rhys turned to go and felt only one pair of eyes on him. He tried to ignore it and exited the room, finding Mor waiting. She dashed forward, her eyes wide.

“How did it go? Were they nice? What did they say?” 

“It went fine, Mor,” Rhys said, running a hand through his hair. Mor was quiet, waiting for more information, but Rhys wasn’t going to give her any. She clicked her tongue and looped her arm through his.

“Alright then, I’m going to show you around the city of lights,” said Mor, gesturing around with her arm. “The city of angels.” She turned to look at him. “Let’s go.”

\---------------

“I think we should cast him,” Lucien said to the group of people gathered in the small conference room. It was only him, Amren, Kallias, and Tamlin now.

“I don’t think he’s right for the role, and I’ve got a bad feeling about him.” Tamlin said, his face contorting in disgust. The rest of them rolled their eyes in annoyance. “You just want to get in his pants.” He wasn’t wrong per say, just uninformed and uncultured. 

Lucien had been… flustered by Rhysand. He was unfairly attractive and not only that, he could actually act, unlike some of the other options they had. He’d be wonderful for the role. Lucien getting to see his beautiful face would just be an added bonus. 

But still, Tamlin shouldn’t have brought it up.

“What I do in my personal life is none of your concern, Tamlin,” said Lucien, leaning back in his chair. “And I would watch your mouth if you want to keep that job of yours.” Tamlin scowled.

“Do whatever the hell you want, I need to call my girlfriend anyway.” Ah yes, the girlfriend card that he used whenever he was trying to get out of something. Poor girl. “I’ll be in my office if you need my help.” Tamlin stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. 

Lucien huffed a laugh and rested his head on his fist.

“That poor girl,” Kallias said with a sigh.

“Are you sure we can’t just fire him?” asked Lucien, glancing over at Amren.

“I wish we could, but that damn father of his would shut us down if we did,” Amren replied, taking a sip of her coffee. The three of them groaned. “But I think this Rhysand would be good for the role, plus he knows Morrigan already.”

“It’s settled then,” Kallias said. Lucien couldn’t help the upward twitch of his lips.

Some time later, Lucien was in the car, driving home to his empty apartment. He’d only recently gotten used to her absence. Gotten used to her not being there when he got home. 

It had stopped feeling like the first time he had come home to an empty apartment.

Jesminda had left. 

She had left for many reasons. Because of his father, who hated her for being coloured. Because of the rumours and paparazzi. Because their love could not survive the hardships that came with it.

Lucien pulled into his assigned parking space in the parking garage attached to his apartment building. The garage was dark, as usual, as Lucien grabbed his bag from the passenger side and stepped out of the car.

He walked inside the building and pressed the elevator button up. He owned the penthouse at the top. The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside, swiping his key card. The doors closed and the elevator rose. 

The elevator dinged and the doors opened on his apartment. Lucien exited the elevator into the dark entryway. Light from the wall of windows lit the main room, but not this one with all its walls. 

He didn’t bother turning on the lights and walked through his home into the kitchen. He set his bag on the breakfast bar and went to the fridge, pulling out leftover takeout from the night before. He dumped it into a bowl and placed it into the microwave to heat it.

Lucien braced his hands on the counter and rolled his neck. 

He hadn’t cooked anything for himself in the past month. He opted to either go out to avoid his empty apartment or to bring home takeout from the Indian place down the street. It was too much work to only cook for one.

The microwave dinged, and he sighed before retrieving his food and heading for the living room. 

He sat down on the couch facing the wall of windows. The sun was setting, casting the city in shades of orange and pink.

He loved looking out over Los Angeles and just… thinking. His mind was still racing from the day. It had been doing that a lot lately. Focusing less on Jesminda and more on his own life, his job. On this new movie.

Gods, he hoped it was successful. He tried to deny it to himself, to others, but Lucien still felt the need to prove himself to his father. Maybe this movie would be how. 

And Rhysand-- there was something about him that Lucien couldn’t shake. He didn’t know what, but Lucien had a feeling things were about to change.


	3. Chapter 3

_Two months later._

“Rhys, get the fuck up,” Mor yelled across their apartment. Rhys groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He glanced over at the clock on his bedside table. 8:02am. Fucking hell.

“Mor, it’s 8am!” Rhys shouted back, throwing back his covers and getting out of bed.

“Yes, we need to be at Prythian at 10, and you need to shower.” Rhys scoffed but crossed the hall into the bathroom. “I’m going out to get coffee and food!” The front door opened and closed after Mor finished speaking. Rhys turned on the shower and the room filled with steam.

When Mor returned, Rhys was sitting on the couch watching TV. She plopped down next to him and handed him a coffee and a foam container with pancakes inside. He snorted at the sight of them.

“You really can’t even cook pancakes?”

“I can cook pancakes, I’m just too lazy,” Mor said. Rhys gave her a look and she sighed. “Fine, I can’t even cook pancakes, but leave me be because neither can you.”

“Fair enough,” Rhys said before digging into his food.

“Are you excited?” Mor asked around a mouth full of pancake. Rhys shrugged.

“I mean, we’re not really doing much, right?”

“I guess, but you get to meet everyone for the first time, in the cast that is, though Tamlin will be there,” Mor said with a scowl. “Other people from the production team will probably be in and out as well.”

Rhys wondered if that included Lucien. It probably did, but Rhys told himself he didn’t care. He’d had very few interactions with the man since his audition, though none of them were bad.

An hour later, Mor and Rhys were sitting in a large room filled with sofas arranged in a circle. They’d met a girl called Cresseida who was to play Nehemia, and a guy called Thesan who was playing Chaol. 

They were reading through the script of the movie and would be doing so for the next few weeks. Just so everyone could get to know each other, get a feel for each other. After all, they’d all be spending the next ten months working on this project.

Lucien sat in a chair outside of the circle, his feet propped up on an ottoman, his laptop on his lap. He was concentrated on typing away at something. He squinted his eyes and hit the backspace bar.

“Rhysand.” Rhys’s eyes snapped to Tamlin. “Focus.” Rhys swallowed as Lucien looked up from his computer and between Tamlin and Rhys. 

“How unusual for them to notice you. Did you give them food?” Rhys read and Mor shook her head. “Are you fond of dogs?” Mor nodded. “Am I going to be blessed with the pleasure of hearing your voice, or have you resolved to be silent for the duration of our journey?”

“I’m afraid your questions didn’t merit a verbal response,” Mor replied and they continued on.

At the end of the scene, Rhys’s eyes traveled back over to Lucien who was biting his lip in concentration. Lucien glanced up and met Rhys’s gaze, something teasing shining in them as he winked and returned back to his work. 

Rhys’s cheeks flushed, and he looked back down at the script. He didn’t like Lucien, he was just… curious.

\---------------

Tamlin was highly annoyed by the way Lucien was distracting Rhysand. It was worse that Lucien didn’t _seem_ to be doing anything odd or out of the ordinary, and yet Rhysand was still staring at him.

They’d been working together for only a day, and Rhysand was already driving Tamlin crazy. He’d had bad feeling about the guy from the first moment they met, but no one listened to him. No one ever listened to him.

Well, no one in this state that is.

Feyre listened to him perfectly and always knew what to say. But she was up in Washington, still finishing her masters, even though Tamlin had told her she didn’t need it. That he would be able to provide for the both of them.

But she didn’t listen, and was dead set on getting the degree. Tamlin didn’t understand why, but she’d gotten all defensive when he had asked.

That was three months ago, just before Tamlin moved to Los Angeles, and he missed her. Which is why he called her so much.

As he got to his office, Tamlin dug his phone out of his pocket to do just that. The phone rang for what felt like forever, before he heard Feyre’s calm voice.

"Hi, Tam."

“Hey, babe, I just wanted to check in on you,” Tamlin said, sitting down at his desk.

"I’m fine, but Tam, I’m meant to be in a lecture right now. And my counselor said this year is most important to establish which direction I want to take this degree in."

“I’ve told you that you should just come live here with me.”

"Yes, well, I’ve told _you_ this is important to me."

Was that assertion in her voice? No, couldn’t be, not lovely Feyre. She’d been so calm recently after their disagreement before he left. He really thought she would’ve given up on this silly degree by now, but she hadn’t.

“Feyre--”

"No, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later."

And then she was gone.

Tamlin threw his phone down on the desk and sat back in his chair, rubbing his chin with his hand. There was a knock at the door a few minutes later.

Ianthe’s blonde head peeked in, a question on her face, before she ducked out again after Tamlin only frowned at her. She knew he was brooding, as he did whenever Feyre made him upset. He was lucky to have an assistant as patient as her.

\------------------

Ten days later, Rhys was strolling down Hollywood Boulevard away from his and Mor’s apartment. Mor was going on a date tonight and Rhys did not want to be home when she got home. 

He stopped in front of a bar. The sign hanging outside read: _Rita’s._ Mor had pointed it out to him when she had first showed him around, said it was nice. So Rhys walked inside.

The first thing he noticed was the red haired man sitting at the bar. Lucien. He looked upset. About what, Rhys didn’t know, but he made a beeline for him anyways though he pretended not to notice him.

“A glass of whiskey, if you please,” Rhys said when the bartender turned her attention to him. He turned to his right and gasped in mock surprise at seeing Lucien sitting next to him. “Hello, Mr. Vanserra, fancy seeing you here.” 

Rhys was grinning like a fool. Lucien looked over at him and rolled his eyes at Rhys’s smile. 

“Hello, Rhysand,” said Lucien before taking a sip of his beer, his gaze returning to something on the wall.

“What’s got you so down in the dumps?” asked Rhys. The bartender came and set down his drink, he smiled at her and paid.

“That’s none of your concern.” Lucien glanced sidelong at him.

“Yes, well, I guess not, but no one should look so damn miserable on a Friday night,” Rhys said and sipped from his whiskey. Lucien scoffed and turned away from Rhys. “Let me buy you a drink.”

“Already got one,” Lucien said, holding up the pint glass before drinking long from it. Rhys tried not to stare at the bob of his throat as he swallowed.

“Well, you have to finish it sometime, Mr. Vanserra, and you don’t seem like the kind of person to waste a perfectly good pint.” Lucien turned to Rhys again, looked him up and down then met his gaze.

“Fine,” Lucien said and Rhys’s smile grew. Lucien rolled his eyes again. “But if you’re buying me a drink, you should probably call me Lucien.”  
\----------------------

“Alright, _Lucien._ ” Lucien’s hand tightened on his glass at the way Rhysand said his name. “Then call me Rhys. Rhysand is what my father calls me, and I hate my father.” Lucien tried not to let his shock be written across his face as Rhys finished his whiskey and set the glass back on the bar.

So he wasn’t just some pretty boy actor then. No, Rhys was an actual person with actual struggles. Lucien didn’t know why he had expected the former. No matter, the man was charming as fuck and Lucien was intrigued. 

“I hate my father as well,” Lucien said as Rhys finished ordering another drink.

“Hmm, it seems we have more in common than you thought.” Lucien huffed a laugh and shook his head, taking another sip of his drink.

A laugh. He hadn’t expected to do that tonight. Especially not when he hadn’t even finished one drink yet. Lucien didn’t think Rhys knew what impact he’d already made in the past 5 minutes.

“I don’t know what I thought,” Lucien admitted, looking down at his glass and trailing his finger along the lip of it.

“Neither did I,” Rhys said and picked up his new drink, drinking deeply from it.

A few drinks and two rounds of shots later, Rhys and Lucien were at the billiards table and Lucien was failing epically. Or so Rhys thought.

“Look at that foxboy, I’ve done it again,” Rhys announced as he made another shot. Lucien nodded and studied the end of his cue despite his pants tightening at the nickname.“Lucien, don’t you get it? If I make this shot, I win.”

“Yes, I quite understand, Rhys,” Lucien said, looking up at Rhys who shrugged as if to say _your loss._ Lucien grabbed chalk and chalked up the end of his cue as Rhys, unsurprisingly, missed the shot on the eight ball. The corners of Lucien’s mouth twitched up as he stepped towards the table.

“It’s alright, you still have 5 balls left plus the eight ball,” Rhys said, likely to assure himself of his win. He stepped towards the high table nearby that held their drinks. He picked up his as Lucien lined up his cue with the cue ball.

Lucien glanced up at Rhys once and noted that he was twisting the ring on his finger before refocusing and shooting the ball. Solid maroon-- in the pocket. Lucien shifted around the table, ignoring Rhys’s still insufferably smug face. He lined up his cue again and shot. 

Green ball. _Again._ Yellow. _Again._ Purple. Lucien glanced over at Rhys who had paused in the middle of taking a drink. _Again._ Blue. _Again._ The eight ball.

“I’ve been hustled,” Rhys stated, his mouth agape, and Lucien bowed dramatically at the waist. He set his cue in the rack and strolled over to Rhys. “You hustled me.”

“Yes, I did. It was very entertaining to see you flaunting your ‘Sure win’,” Lucien said, picking up his glass and downing the rest of it. “You owe me another drink.” Rhys frowned.

“I thought we were friends, and then you fucking play me like this?” 

Friends. He already considered them friends.

“We are friends, it’s just a game,” Lucien said, leaning against the table. 

“Just a game, psh,” Rhys muttered under his breath. “How about a rematch? We both play at our full ability.”

“I’d love to,” Lucien said, and Rhys’s face lit up. “But not tonight. It’s late, pretty boy.” Lucien hadn’t meant to call him that.

Rhys’s face fell, but he smirked at the compliment, his violet eyes sparkling. He got cocky when he was drunk, but Lucien liked it. Cauldron, he liked it _a lot._ It was suddenly much to hot in the bar. 

Lucien gulped and turned away from Rhys, intending on heading towards the door alone, but Rhys followed after him. 

“Hey, I had fun tonight,” Rhys said when they got outside. Lucien felt a small smile bloom on his face. Damn him, he could not date Rhys. If only to prove to Tamlin that he didn’t just want to get in Rhys’s pants, even though he really did.

“So did I, I no longer feel like shit. I guess I have you to thank for that.” Rhys grinned at him and they were quiet for a few moments. “We should do this again sometime, though I don’t believe I can hustle you again unless you’re too drunk to remember.” Rhys snorted, but he agreed and Lucien nodded, suddenly feeling quite awkward. 

“I should go,” Lucien said abruptly and hailed a taxi to take him back to his apartment. He could’ve sworn he saw disappointment flash on Rhys’s face as they pulled away.

Nevertheless, Lucien fell asleep content that night. Though he told himself it was just the alcohol.


	4. Chapter 4

“You want something to drink?” Lucien asked as he opened the fridge. Rhys shrugged from where he leaned against the breakfast bar. Lucien cocked his head to the side before he turned around with a pair of beer bottles in his hand. “We can try this, though I’m not sure how it is.”

Rhys raised his eyebrow, and Lucien huffed a laugh as he pulled a bottle opener out of a drawer.

“I got it as a gift for the start of production.” Rhys hummed as Lucien opened the bottles and handed one to Rhys.

Production. Which had started three weeks ago, filming beginning just a week ago. Lucien hadn’t gotten around to trying the beer yet with how busy production made him. He and Rhys had played pool at Rita’s just a few days before filming began, but they hadn’t seen each other outside of work since then.

“I guess we’ll know if the person who gifted it to you likes you or not depending on the quality,” Rhys said as he took the bottle from Lucien. 

“Oh, it’s from Amren, and I’m pretty sure she likes me, but she might have chosen a poor tasting beer just for shits and giggles.” Lucien looked down at the contents of the bottle.

“On three?” Rhys asked, but Lucien was already taking a sip.

Lucien gagged and put his hand to his mouth. At that point Rhys didn’t want to try it, but he did anyway and spit it out in front of him as soon as the liquid hit his tongue.

“What the actual fuck did I just put in my mouth?” Rhys said, his hand still around the bottle as he set it on the counter, his other hand braced on the marble already. Lucien nodded.

“It’s probably the worst thing I have ever tasted, and I have tasted a _lot_ of things.” Rhys burst out laughing and Lucien soon followed, albeit a bit hesitantly. He felt his chest lighten at the easiness of it all. Was this how friendships were?

Lucien hadn’t had many friends throughout his life. During school, he’d focused on the task at hand, and if there was no task, then he found one. Whether it was unfinished homework or a new book he’d been wanting to read.

His free time was spent in the library away from the pryful eyes of his brothers and the rest of the student body. Well, that was unless he was at his film lessons after school, during which he still spoke only to his teacher.

It was never easy to talk to anyone. Jesminda had been the one to come up to him in one of their shared lectures in college. Lucien had frozen up when she had, actually.

And while that anxiety had mostly gone away, it was still never easy. With anyone. Until now, he guessed.

Lucien didn’t realise he had stopped laughing and had been staring at Rhys until Rhys himself stopped laughing. The smile was still there though, Lucien quite liked that smile. And it wasn’t an _uncomfortable_ silence between them, just silence. Lucien offered Rhys a small smile of his own.

“I’ll get something that tastes less toxic for us to drink.”

Rhys snorted and leaned back casually against the breakfast bar as Lucien turned away from him and poured his beer down the sink, setting the bottle down on the counter nearby afterwards. 

Lucien walked around the island and crouched down. When had his wine fridge become so empty? He made a mental note to replenish it in the near future. 

When he stood up a moment later, a bottle of wine in hand, he found Rhys watching him curiously. The man’s violet eyes lit up at the sight of the wine bottle. Lucien chuckled softly and set the bottle on the counter before he walked over to a cabinet to grab glasses for the two of them.

“Did you know,” Rhys began as Lucien pulled two glasses from the cabinet and set them down on the island. “That I’ve always wanted to own a vineyard?” Lucien retrieved the fancy electric wine opener that Jes had gotten him on his last birthday from under the counter beside the wine fridge.

“For some reason, that doesn’t surprise me,” Lucien replied, attaching the wine opener to the top of the bottle and pressing the button to start it. When the cork was removed, he poured wine into both glasses and crossed the kitchen to hand one to Rhys. 

“My favourite vineyard is this one up north of San Fran run by a kind old man who has lived a very entertaining life.” Rhys raised his eyebrows as he took a sip from his glass. Lucien smiled softly and braced his forearms on the countertop. “The first time I visited, he… took an interest in me. Said I looked like his dead best friend, which had me mortified at first.” Lucien swirled his wine. 

“But then he told me to sit down next to him on the porch so he could talk about his friend. Said that his caretaker, Clotho, always listened to his stories, but he thought maybe she was getting bored of them.” Lucien met Rhys’s eyes. “After listening to him speak so enthusiastically, I knew there was no way that woman was ever bored in his presence.”

“Anyways,” Lucien said, his cheeks flushing a bit as he realised he’d been rambling on about something Rhys likely didn’t give two shits about. “I visit him at least twice a year, sometimes he shoos me off and gets me to ride on one of his horses around the grounds since he’s no longer able to. He says it brings him joy.” 

Lucien paused, blinking out at the city through the wall of windows. “He’ll always tell me at least one story though.”

Rhys looked slightly in awe when Lucien again looked at him. Lucien couldn’t really blame him. He’d just spewed on about a random aspect of his life to this man who was still practically a stranger, but Lucien didn’t find himself wanting to apologise. It didn’t feel like a bad thing.

Rhys merely said, “He sounds like fun.” Lucien snorted and finally took a sip of his wine. He found Rhys glancing around his apartment.

“I could give you a tour, if you want,” he said. Gods, that sounded so pretentious, but Rhys didn’t seem to notice or care and gestured for him to lead the way.

\--------------

Rhys very much enjoyed spending time with Lucien. It was surprisingly easy for conversation to flow. It had only just come to a stand still as they stood in front of the wall made of windows at the end of the tour of Lucien’s quite lavish apartment.

Rhys sipped from his third--no, probably fourth--glass of wine. _That_ was not helping his current state of fatigue. When he’d agreed to come over today, he’d not expected the work day to have drained him so thoroughly.

“I stand here, or sit on the couch a lot and just look out at the city.” Yet another tidbit of Lucien’s life that Rhys tucked away with the others he’d learned tonight.

Another bout of silence before Rhys found himself saying, “You ever think that maybe you weren’t cut out for all this?” Lucien glanced over at him, but Rhys kept his eyes on the city.

“Sometimes,” Lucien admitted. Rhys nodded and sipped from his wine again. “There have been two times in my life where that’s all I ever thought about.”

“Care to elaborate?” Rhys said, looking over at Lucien. Lucien rolled his eyes. 

“I was getting there, Spera. You ever heard of meaningful pauses?” Rhys put his hands up in defence, and Lucien chuckled softly. “The first time was when I first got here. It wasn’t easy, to say the least. The second time...” Lucien paused again, his smile fading. His brows furrowed as he looked down at the wine in his glass. “The second time was when my girlfriend of five years left me because she couldn’t handle the pressure. That, and because of my father.”

Rhys got the feeling that Lucien had never told anyone that because he quickly downed the rest of his wine and moved to sit on the couch. Rhys glanced back out at the city once more before he went and sat down next to him. 

Lucien had refilled his glass and ran a hand through his hair before propping his head on his hand as he leaned against the couch. His hair was glinting in the light of the setting sun, making it look like fire.

He was studying Rhys sitting across from him. His gaze was so intense that Rhys shifted around uncomfortably and averted his own gaze.

“I’ve never told anyone that, and I’m trying to figure out why I’ve just told you,” Lucien explained, likely noting Rhys’s discomfort. But Rhys’s guess was right, and he didn’t know how to feel about it. “I’ve killed the mood, haven’t I?”

“I was the one who asked such a deep question.” Lucien huffed a laugh and looked down at his wine. Rhys sank back into the couch with a yawn and crossed his arms over his chest, keeping his grip on his wine glass.

“Tired, Spera?” Rhys hummed in agreement and Lucien snickered. “Maybe you should--” Lucien paused and Rhys opened his eyes in confusion. “You’re welcome to stay here tonight if you’d like.” Rhys ignored the voice in his head that told him to stay, drink more wine, and get to know Lucien more.

“I think I’ll just go home, Mor’s probably wondering where I’ve gone,” Rhys said, and he thought he saw disappointment on Lucien’s face at the words. “Thank you for the offer though.” Lucien waved his hand at the thanks.

Rhys stood up and set his wine glass on the low table in front of him, and began walking towards the kitchen to retrieve his discarded jacket. He heard Lucien following after him, and turned towards the latter once he’d picked up his jacket.

“I can call you a car, if you want.” Lucien rubbed the back of his neck. “So you don’t have to bother with hailing a taxi.”

“Alright,” Rhys said as he pulled on his jacket. Lucien nodded and pulled out his phone.

“Give me a minute.” Lucien leaned back against the counter. It was such a casual thing to do. Rhys had found that Lucien was a very casual person. Less so while they were at the studio, but he was still more casual than Tamlin. Rhys didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

A minute or so later, Lucien hung up the phone and told Rhys that the car would arrive in approximately five minutes. He offered to walk Rhys out, but Rhys told him he was fine.

Rhys wasn’t sure why he hesitated to walk away then. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to go. Maybe it was because he’d enjoyed himself once more in the presence of this man and he didn’t want that to end. Maybe it was all the wine he’d dranken that night.

Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter because Rhys walked away a moment later with a _see you tomorrow_ and tried to erase the sight of what he thought was disappointment written across Lucien’s face.


	5. Chapter 5

_Three weeks into filming_

Lucien was filling up a mug with coffee as the crew prepared to shoot a scene. They were outside for once. A training ground had been built for the scenes in which Celaena and the other champions were training and preparing for the competition.

Morrigan was already out there stretching and chatting with the actor of Nox Owens that Lucien could not remember the name of to save his life. Tamlin’s twats were ordering people around while Tamlin himself sat in his director’s chair like it was a throne.

Lucien sipped from his coffee and wondered where Rhys was. He was called for today, after all.

“Good morning.” _Speak of the devil and he appears_ , Lucien thought. He turned to face Rhys who was standing beside him now. He was wearing fine clothes that weren’t necessarily _supposed_ to show off his muscles, but they did anyways. The crown was on his head as usual.

“Good morning, Rhys,” Lucien said over his coffee mug. Rhys grinned, poured himself a coffee, and grabbed a bagel. His crown slipped a bit as he looked down, but he pushed it back up quickly. The corners of Lucien’s mouth twitched up. “How’d you sleep?” 

They’d gone out for dinner. Well, that was overstating it. Really they’d just gotten In-N-Out and sat on the beach for hours despite the chill autumn night. Neither of them had noticed what time it was until Rhys had gone to show Lucien an old picture of Mor and saw that it was past 2 in the morning.

“Just fine, I only wish I’d gotten more of it.” Rhys glanced sidelong at Lucien who rolled his eyes. Rhys was still convinced that Lucien had kept him out so late on purpose, which wasn’t the case, but Lucien wouldn’t put it past himself.

“Morrigan wasn’t any trouble?” Rhys snorted and glanced over at his cousin.

“No, luckily she was sound asleep,” Rhys said. Lucien hummed and sipped from his coffee, a small smile gracing his face. Rhys turned to Lucien and opened his mouth to say something, maybe about what they’d not finished talking about last night--his family--but closed it again and looked back over at the set. 

“I should probably go, but I’ll see you later?” Lucien didn’t think Rhys meant for it to sound like a question, but he nodded anyway. Rhys seemed pleased by his response and squeezed Lucien’s shoulder as if to say, _We’ll talk_ , and walked over to his cousin.

A few hectic days later, Lucien was sitting in a budget meeting, listening to the team drone on. It was quite boring to say the least, but it was his job to pay attention. He was twirling his pen between his fingers, and trying not to seem uninterested.

But then Lucien’s phone began to ring, and he pulled it out of the pocket of his trousers. It was Rhys, for whatever reason, but Lucien didn’t care. Anything to get him out of this meeting.

“I’m sorry, but this is a very urgent call,” Lucien lied. “Don’t stop on my account, Andras will fill me in later.” He collected his things and left the conference room, answering the phone as he did so. “Hello?”

“Hi, Lucien, I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” Rhys said. His voice sounded a bit breathless.

“You did, but I’m glad, I was bored out of my mind in that meeting.” Rhys laughed, and Lucien couldn’t help but smile as he walked down the hall to the elevator.

“Oh, good, good, well, um, I need a favor.” Lucien’s eyebrows rose despite the fact that Rhys couldn’t see him.

“What kind of favor, pretty boy?” The nickname tended to make Rhys squirm and fumble with his words. Lucien paused outside of the elevator.

“Well, see, I have this PS4, right? But Mor completely hates it because then she can’t watch TV, so she’s forbidden me to use it, so I was wondering if I could keep it at your place?”

“Sure,” Lucien replied just as he heard who he assumed was Morrigan say, “Where are you going?”

“Over to my friend’s house,” Rhys said to her as Lucien pressed the down arrow on the elevator instead of the up arrow to go to his office. 

“With your PS4?” Morrigan said. “And who is this friend you speak of?”

“Someone who appreciates gaming,” Rhys answered and Lucien snorted as he entered the elevator. “Shut up, foxboy,” he muttered. Lucien huffed a laugh.

“Sureeeee,” Morrigan said, and Rhys scoffed. The elevator dinged, and Lucien walked out onto the ground floor.

“Don’t wait up,” Rhys called to her. There was a bit of rustling as Rhys shifted to open the door.

“That sounded fun,” Lucien said when he heard the door close. Rhys groaned. “I’m coming home to let you up, but I don’t have any other meetings today so if you’d like to hang out…” Lucien walked out into the sun and headed for the parking lot.

“Yeah! We can play Mario Kart, if you want,” Rhys said. “Gods, I hate hailing taxis.”

“I could pick you up? Where do you live?” Way to sound creepy Lucien.

“Just a bit past Hollywood and Vine, I’m the one with the large brown box.” Lucien chuckled as he reached his car. He wasn’t surprised that Morrigan had an apartment on Hollywood Boulevard, she was born for this life, of course she’d want to be in the center of it all.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes, maybe sooner, depending on traffic,” Lucien said as he got into his car and put the key in the ignition. “If you aren’t on the right side of the road, I request that you cross, so I don’t have to turn around.”

“Oh, of course, Mr. Vanserra, wouldn’t want to make it difficult for you,” Rhys said with mock sympathy, that was only accentuated by the fact that his voice now played through the speakers of his car since the bluetooth on his phone had connected.

“You’re such an idiot, Rhys.” Lucien shook his head as he put down the top of his car, and backed out of his assigned parking space.

“You love it.” He did, but he wasn’t going to tell Rhys that, so he just hummed.

A few minutes later, Rhys cut himself off from what he’d been saying and said Lucien’s name just as Lucien spotted him on the sidewalk a couple hundred yards away.

“What?” Lucien said, subconsciously looking at the speakers as if he was looking at Rhys himself.

“Do you really _need_ to show off?” Lucien frowned and reached Rhys a few moments later. Rhys shook his head and hung up the phone, though he was smiling.

“What do you mean?” Lucien asked as he turned in his seat to face Rhys, his arm on the headrest. Rhys opened the car door and slid into the passenger seat after placing his box in the backseat. He gestured for Lucien to continue driving, so he did, his hands gripping the steering wheel.

“It was a joke,” Rhys said, and Lucien relaxed. “But you have a convertible Mercedes, and you’re cruising down Hollywood Boulevard.” Lucien raised an eyebrow and Rhys chuckled. 

“We know you’re rich, foxboy,” he whispered near Lucien’s ear, which sent chills down his spine, but Lucien covered it with a scowl. 

They reached a red light, and Lucien glared over at Rhys, who was smirking like a cat. The wind whipped Lucien’s hair from its band, and he hastily pushed it back. Rhys tracked the movement.

“I could teach you how to put it back so it won’t do that,” Rhys said when Lucien turned back to the road.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, my mom taught me, so I could do my sister’s hair and the hair of any girlfriend I have, if need be.” Right, right, there was Lucien’s almost daily reminder that Rhys was not into men. It wasn’t something Rhys did on purpose, it just randomly slipped into conversation like this. “And because I wanted to learn.”

“Maybe you should be a hairdresser, and not an actor,” Lucien replied with a smile.

“Don’t laugh.”

Lucien glanced sidelong at him: “I’m not laughing, I think it’s a very useful skill, and I’d like for you to do my hair.” Rhys grinned and leaned back in his seat while Lucien tried not to think about how Rhys’s hands would feel in his hair.  
\------------  
Morrigan enjoyed doing this. Going out and walking the streets. She didn’t mind the girls that came up to her for a selfie and an autograph, didn’t mind the paparazzi that she knew were following her around town. She’d been born to live this life.

The spotlight was where she thrived.

She had no clue where her cousin had gone this afternoon, or who his friend was. She’d actually rarely seen him at the studio these past few weeks, but that could be accredited to her busy schedule. Being the lead meant being on set for at least 8 hours a day, almost everyday.

But Mor had always been full of energy and found it no problem to venture out into the city almost every night. 

Secretly, she was in search of something. Someone. But she had no idea who. Someone to share a life with, she guessed. Her weekly hookups were fun and all, but she wanted something more. 

“Joyful Morrigan, always wanting more than she already has,” her parents used to say. She bet they still did, but she just wasn’t around to hear it anymore and glad of it. She’d gotten out of that house as soon as she could and it still wasn’t soon enough.

She had somehow ended up at the small coffee shop on the corner, but she wasn’t even surprised that her feet had led her here. She’d been coming here for weeks now after discovering the cute barista that worked in the evenings.

Her name was Pandora, and, as usual, she stood behind the counter, taking people’s orders. She had cute little dimples that appeared in her light brown skin when she smiled at a customer. Her caramel coloured hair was braided into a coronet atop her head today, though there were a few loose, curly hairs that she kept blowing up out of her eyes.

Mor quickly jumped in line and fiddled with her fingers as she waited. Eventually, she reached the front of the line and grinned at Pandora on the other side of the counter. The other girl turned away from her station to greet Mor, and her honey brown eyes, the same as Mor’s, twinkled when she spotted her.

“Hi, Mor, you want the usual?” Pandora asked, already getting a large cup from beside her to write down Mor’s order, which was indeed the usual. She told Pandora as much and the other girl nodded. “It’ll be out in a minute.” Mor tapped her card to the reader, and was about to walk away, but...

“Wait, I’ve got a question,” Mor blurted, and Pandora’s eyebrows rose. “Do you want to--um, get dinner sometime? Or lunch, I mean whatever. Lunch actually might be difficult cause you know… filming and stuff, oh gods and you work in the evenings, what a mess. Sorry, I’ll--” Mor closed her mouth when Pandora grasped her hand softly.

“I’d love to,” Pandora said, and Mor sighed in relief. The brown-haired girl pulled out a slip of paper and scribbled something down before offering it to Mor. “Here, we’ll figure it out.” Mor thought she might melt at the smile that Pandora gave her before she flushed slightly and turned to the next customer.

_Did that really just happen?_ Mor thought as she walked down towards where she was supposed to retrieve her iced coffee.

It must have, because when she picked up her iced coffee and headed towards the exit, she saw Pandora smiling at her softly from behind the counter.  
\------------  
" _Rhys._ ”

“Shh, I need to concentrate,” Rhys said around the bobby pins in his mouth. He’d bought them at the CVS down the street when Lucien informed him that he had absolutely none.

Lucien huffed in exasperation, but shut up. Rhys could see that his cheeks were tinted pink. Lucien was fucking blushing, and it was adorable. Rhys continued braiding Lucien’s hair into a crown with a smile.

Lucien had protested and had managed to postpone the braiding of his hair for a few hours while they played Mario Kart, but he’d given up a little while ago, and now sat on the floor in front of his couch, leaning against Rhys’s legs.

This was not the first hairstyle Rhys had done on him. He’d first shown Lucien how to braid it normally, now he was just having fun, and trying to keep his hands in Lucien’s hair for as long as possible. It was so soft.

Lucien was fiddling with Rhys’s family ring. Rhys had taken it off so Lucien’s hair wouldn’t get caught in it. Lucien had already asked what the crest meant a few days ago when they had a picnic on the beach.

“My mother used to braid my hair when I was younger,” Lucien admitted quietly.

“And she never taught you to do it yourself?” Rhys wondered aloud. Lucien tried to look down, but Rhys’s fingers held his hair so tightly that he was yanked back. “Sorry.” But Lucien just laughed softly.

“It’s alright,” Lucien said. “But no, she never taught me, because my father thought it was a girly thing. He didn’t like that my hair was long in the first place, but my mother wouldn’t let him have it cut.”

“I’m glad.” Rhys saw Lucien swallow, and he shifted around just a bit. Rhys finished off the braid and pinned it into place with a few pins. He grabbed his phone and swiped over to the camera before handing it to Lucien. 

Rhys leaned over Lucien’s shoulder to see his reaction. He was blushing again as he looked up at Rhys, though he tried hiding it with a frown. Their faces were… very close. Rhys had never noticed how Lucien’s eyes looked when the sunlight caught in them.

“I look like a princess, Rhys.”

“Isn’t that the point?” Rhys said, staring into Lucien’s eyes. Lucien rolled his eyes and turned back to the phone. “Here, can we take a selfie?” he asked, reaching for his phone. Lucien’s frown deepened, as did his blush. “You’re so grumpy, foxboy. C’mon please?”

“Fine,” Lucien huffed. Rhys grinned and Lucien looked up at him again as his arms came down around either side of Lucien’s head to hold his phone.

“Hey, don’t look at me, look at the camera,” Rhys chided, though he was still grinning. Lucien looked back at the camera, albeit very slowly, as if he didn’t want to stop looking at Rhys. But that was okay, because Rhys didn’t want to stop looking at Lucien either.


	6. Chapter 6

_4 weeks into filming_

Rhys Spera was tired. They had been going almost nonstop with filming these past few weeks. They were up late into the night and often up again just a few hours later.

He needed a nap, but he couldn’t go back to his hotel yet because he was called for a scene in two hours, and there was no way he’d have time to get there, nap, and get back within the hour for costume, hair, and makeup. 

They were filming on location this week and the next in some abandoned mansion in Washington. It was quiet up here, aside from the hustle and bustle of the crew moving around equipment and props.

He was currently sitting in one of those director’s type chairs, the one with his name on it, in the courtyard. He was struggling to keep his eyes open, even with the bright sun shining down on him. Maybe he could just nod off for a bit in this chair, it was actually more comfortable than he thought. No, he should just stay awake…

“Rhys.” 

Rhys jolted at the sound of someone’s voice. He opened his eyes and found Lucien, who looked to be holding back laughter. Rhys scowled.

“How long was I asleep?” Rhys yawned, rolling his neck.

“I’m not sure, but it’s time for you to get ready for your next scene,” Lucien replied, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

“Cauldron! I was asleep for a whole hour!” Rhys leaped from his chair as Lucien burst out laughing, unable to contain it anymore. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh, you fucking asshole.” Rhys shoved Lucien lightly and headed for the wardrobe trailer.

“Poor baby, needs a nap to get through the work day,” Lucien said in mock pity, then clicked his tongue as Rhys groaned. “The green room couch would’ve been more comfortable.” Rhys scowled again, but Lucien was right.

He noticed Lucien’s hair was braided back as Lucien caught up to him. Rhys forced himself not to smile. Rhys had taught his friend how to braid his hair just last week, and he’d actually used the skill. 

“I don’t know how you _don’t_ need a nap.” Lucien shrugged and Rhys sighed, rubbing his eyes. They reached the wardrobe trailer, and Rhys started climbing the stairs to the door.

“Goodbye, oh fair prince!” Lucien said dramatically at his back. Rhys turned his head and rolled his eyes. Lucien grinned back at him. “Have fun!” His voice was singsongy, and he gave a little wave as he began walking away.

Rhys opened the door to the wardrobe trailer and found his cousin already strolling out of one of the changing rooms. 

“Did you enjoy your nap?” Mor queried when she spotted him. Rhys groaned and walked over to one of the assistants, who handed Rhys his costume. Mor grinned sharply as another assistant adjusted her dress a bit. “I’ll see you in hair and makeup.” Then she breezed out of the trailer, her fine dress swooshing behind her.

Within half an hour, Rhys was sitting in hair and makeup with Cresseida and Mor, chatting with them as well as the makeup and hair ladies. As of the current moment, Cress was giggling at something that Mor said about Cassian as one of the ladies messed around with her wig.

Rhys missed Cassian, he missed Azriel, he missed Amaris and his mother. He’d not seen them in almost 4 months now. His father, he could do without, but the rest of them? It hurt his heart a bit whenever he thought of them.

Amaris could be a pest at times, as little sisters often are, but Rhys loved her very much. He hated that he wasn’t there to protect her anymore, despite the fact that his brothers were still there watching over her, despite the fact that he was the one who left in the first place. He hoped she was alright. She told him as much whenever he called, but he didn’t know if he believed her.

His mother said the same of his little sister though. He trusted his mother more than Amaris herself. The girl had a tendency of concealing what she really felt. Rhys had a sinking suspicion and guilt that it was his fault she was that way. But it didn’t matter because their mother saw through any mask they put up. Estelle Spera had had years of experience seeing through masks before she’d even had her two children. 

Rhys’s father caused that. He was not an easy man to please, and even when you did please him, he rarely ever showed more than a slight dip of the head. Rhys most definitely had not gotten that slight nod of the head when he told his father he wouldn’t be carrying on his legacy. It was quite the opposite actually.

_“Pardon?” Father said, his eyebrows raised. He sat at his large oak desk in his giant office, his hands interlaced on the tabletop. Rhys was sitting in a chair on the other side of the desk. The side he always sat on, would always sit on._

_“I’m going to live with Morrigan in Los Angeles,” Rhys repeated. “And I do not plan on returning.”_

_“So, what I’m hearing is, you’re throwing away everything you’ve worked towards to go live with your whore cousin in her cesspit of a city.” Rhys resisted the flinch at the words his father used to describe Mor. He resisted the urge to tell his father that his city was just as much of a cesspit, if not more so._

_Rhys merely nodded as he gripped the arms of his cushioned chair. His father rose from his seat, and Rhys once again felt like a cowering child. He supposed he was--no, he wasn’t, not anymore. He was leaving, and there was nothing Richard Spera could do to stop him. He stood from his chair._

_“Get out,” Father said simply, his voice unnervingly calm. For some reason, Rhys was frozen, staring at the man who raised him. “Get out.” Father’s voice was closer to a growl now. Rhys turned around and began walking out._

_He got halfway down the hall when his father called, “Cassian and Azriel are lucky they’re your mother’s charity cases and not yours.” Rhys did flinch this time, when his father wasn’t there to see it. Especially when the office door slammed a moment later._

_Rhys took his carry-on bag from the entryway, the rest of his luggage already loaded into the car he’d ordered, and left his childhood home._

That day simultaneously felt like it was ages ago and felt like it had just been yesterday. It still gave him chills to think about the way the whole house seemed to shake when his father had slammed the office door closed.

Rhys met Mor’s eyes behind Cresseida’s head for a brief moment. Her coloured contacts still freaked him out whenever he looked at them. They made her look like a completely different person, which, Rhys guessed, was sort of the point. Mor didn’t seem to mind them at all though, and she’d never seemed bothered by the contacts Rhys had to wear to make his eyes more blue and less purple. She was more used to all this than he was.

“My younger brother Varian used to do things like that,” Cresseida said to the room, though she was more addressing Mor than anyone else. All these weeks, and all the time they spent together on set, Rhys hadn’t ever heard her speak of her brother. He briefly wondered if something had happened to him. He guessed not though, by the way Cress spoke of him so lightly.

Despite arriving in the hair and makeup trailer later than the girls, Rhys was ready before them. It was no surprise though, that’s what always happened. It just didn’t take as long to do his hair and makeup as it did Cress and Mor’s.

“You’re free to go, but please don’t mess anything up in the next 15 minutes,” his makeup assistant, Nuala, pleaded. Rhys shot her a grin before exiting the trailer, swiping his crown off the table as he did.  
\-------------

“Tamlin, you can’t just skip out and go visit your girlfriend, I don’t care how close she lives to here,” Lucien said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. Tamlin scowled and put his hands on his hips.

“Why the hell not?”

“First off because you have a job to do,” Lucien began. Tamlin rolled his eyes and Lucien ground his teeth. “Second off because I said so.” Tamlin scoffed. “You can go see her after we’re done for the day.”

“You’re such an ass, Lucien,” Tamlin said.

“Funny, I would’ve said the same of you.” Tamlin opened his mouth, no doubt to retort, but Lucien cut him off. “Time to go, Tamlin. It’s time for you do your job, run along.” Lucien shooed him off with a hand, and Tamlin stalked away, still scowling. 

“What an ass,” Rhys said behind him. Lucien sighed and turned around to face him. His hands were in his pockets, and his crown was sitting atop his head, shining in the sunlight. His nose was scrunched up in Tamlin’s direction, but his face softened when he looked to Lucien.

The sun was shining at the back of his head, making him look like a damn god. Frankly, he looked gorgeous, though his eyes were the wrong shade of blue, as they usually were whenever they were filming. Lucien silently scolded himself for his thoughts as he squinted slightly to look at his best friend.

In the past six weeks, him and Rhys had become closer than Lucien had been to anyone in a long time, if ever. The only person he could’ve possibly been closer to was Jesminda, but that was long over. He rarely thought of her anymore, he was too preoccupied with stopping himself from fucking it all and kissing Rhys.

Kissing him would be futile anyways and would probably ruin their friendship, which Lucien was not keen on doing. He had gathered very quickly that Rhys had no interest in men, but that fact did nothing to deter Lucien’s mind apparently.

“Agreed,” Lucien said bitterly. “I really hope that poor girl sees it and drops him before she gets hurt.” Him and Rhys shared a frown.

“She’ll be alright, foxboy,” Rhys assured him. “I’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you later.” Rhys shot him a smile and brushed his hand over Lucien’s shoulder as he passed. It was moments like these that Lucien wondered if maybe he’d interpreted Rhys wrong, but he also knew Rhys was just an affectionate person in general.

It had been quite the shock when Rhys had hugged him goodbye the first time, and he’d apologised profusely when Lucien froze. Lucien had brushed them all off, of course. He just wasn’t used to anyone being that way with him. He was left wondering if that’s just what friends do. After all, his friendship experience was little.

There had also been more than a few nights when Rhys stayed in one of Lucien’s spare rooms to avoid whoever his cousin brought home that night. That hadn’t actually happened in recent weeks, but who knows why. Maybe Morrigan had gotten tired of going out constantly, Lucien definitely would.

Lucien sighed and went to find somewhere to sit. 

\--------------

Tamlin was so glad he was able to visit Feyre. He’d been missing her these past few months, and his work didn’t allow him to get away to Washington. Luckily, they were filming just half an hour away from the college town that she lived in.

He didn’t know why she insisted on still living in the same town, despite being in a graduate program. Her apartment was decent at least, and that’s where Tamlin was headed.

The only good thing about having to work during the day was that he didn’t have to hunt her down in whatever class she had. Feyre never left her apartment after she finished her classes. She didn’t really have friends.

He had encouraged her to make some, but she was set on isolating herself for whatever reason. Hopefully when she moved in with him, she’d be able to become friends with his friends. At least then he could keep an eye of her friendships, unlike he could now. 

Tamlin knocked on the door to Feyre’s apartment, but no one answered. Odd. He tried again. Still nothing. Good thing he had a key. He pulled it out and tried putting it in the lock, but it didn’t fit. Huh. Weird. 

He didn’t have the wrong apartment, he knew that for a fact. But that meant that she had given him a fake key, or she had changed the lock on her door. Either option was bad news.

Tamlin pulled out his phone and texted Feyre, asking where she was. It was merely a courtesy though, a warning. He had turned on ‘Share my Location’ on her phone before he moved to Hollywood. She was, oddly, at a bar in town.

_I’m at home, why?_

When did she start lying to him? Tamlin tightened his grip on his phone as he stormed down the hall to the elevator.

Ten minutes later, he was barging into the bar, much to the dismay of some of the patrons. He didn’t care that the people around him were speaking to him angrily. Especially not as he spotted his girlfriend sitting in a booth, laughing with a man Tamlin had never seen before.

Tamlin saw red and stalked over to her, grasping her arm, and relishing in the terrified look the man across from her was wearing on his face. He pulled her to her feet.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Tamlin growled. “Who the hell is he? You told me you were at home.” Feyre didn’t say anything, she was completely calm, surprisingly. He somewhat expected her to lash out at him, but she just closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’m going out for a drink with a friend, which is what Isaac here is, and I told you I was at home because I knew you would react like this,” Feyre said calmly. What did she mean ‘react like this’, react like what? “Why are _you_ here? I thought you were working in an entirely different state.”

“I’m here because you’re my girlfriend and I wanted to surprise you, but it seems I can’t trust you to live here without me to keep an eye on you.” Tamlin tightened his grip on Feyre’s arm.

“Tam, I’m fine,” Feyre tried to assure him as she tried to tug her arm free. Silly girl.

“You’re coming to live with me. Now.” Feyre’s expression changed into something like anger, maybe fear, too, and she began trying harder to get out of his grip.

“Tamlin, we’ve talked about this, I’m finishing my degree first.” She gulped and looked over at the scum of a man she was here with, then back at Tamlin. “Tamlin, let me go.”

“No, I don’t think so.” Tamlin began pulling her away from the booth and towards the door, but she still struggled against him, trying to pry his fingers off of her with her own.

“You don’t own me. Let go.”

“You’ve got it quite wrong, my dear, I do indeed--” Someone’s fist connected with his face, and he reeled back, stunned. In his shock, he loosened his grip on Feyre and she slipped away. Tamlin’s face was throbbing, he could barely see out of his left eye.

“We’re over, Tamlin. Go home,” he heard Feyre say before he was dragged out of the bar and thrown into the street.


	7. Chapter 7

_5 weeks into filming_

Rhys strolled up to Lucien who was sat in his chair near one of the cameras. “Foxboy,” he said as he came within a few feet of Lucien. Lucien twisted to look at him with a sigh. Lucien sighed at him a lot. “You want to go bowling this afternoon?”

“Bowling?” Lucien asked, raising a brow.

“Yes, bowling, it’ll be fun,” said Rhys. “I promise.” Rhys winked and Lucien rolled his eyes. 

“I suppose we can go.” Lucien said, sighing again. “What time, pretty boy?” Rhys fought the flush creeping up his neck that seemed to happened whenever Lucien called him that. Mother save him, he was _not_ attracted to boys, let alone _Lucien_. They were friends, bros.

“3 o’clock sound good?” 

“Yes, yes, that’s fine, it just means I should go do some paperwork now instead of people watching,” Lucien said. He stood from his chair and patted Rhys’s shoulder as he passed.

“See you later,” Rhys called after him. Lucien glanced back and winked before slipping out the stage door.

“So,” a female voice started behind him. Rhys jumped and turned to find Mor. “You two are friends now?” Rhys shrugged and slid his hands into his pockets.

“Yeah, we’re friends, why do you ask?” Mor opened her mouth to respond then closed it, then opened it again.

“CauseIwannabefriendstoo,” Mor blurted. Rhys’s brows raised, and Mor groaned in exasperation. “Because I want to be friends, too.”

“Hang on, are you jealous of me?” Rhys asked. Mor frowned and nodded. Rhys burst out laughing. 

“Rhys,” Mor whined, drawing out the _ee_ sound in his name. His laughter trailed off though a grin was still wide on his face.

“Alright, okay, we’re going bowling this afternoon, would you like to join?”

“Bowling, Rhys? Seriously?” Mor put her hands on her hips.

“Hell yeah, Mor,” Rhys said. “I mean if you don’t want to come, that’s fine…”

Mor began shaking her head, “Nonono, I’m coming. I just can’t believe we’re going bowling.”  
\--------------

“Lucien!” Rhys’s singing voice floated down the hallway to Lucien’s office. He glanced at the clock on his desk, and, of course, Rhys was right on time.

He heard Andras down the hall attempting to stop Rhys from entering Lucien’s office. Lucien rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt and grabbed his bag before exiting his office.

“Andras, it’s alright, I knew he was coming,” Lucien said and glanced at Rhys who was grinning and standing with his cousin. Lucien cocked his head. “Morrigan, are you joining us on this bowling expedition?”

“Um, yes, Mr. Vanserra,” Morrigan replied. Lucien flicked his hand.

“Please call me Lucien. Mr. Vanserra is much too formal,” Lucien said. He paused next to Rhys and turned to Andras. He felt Mor’s eyes on him, assessing something. “Take the rest of the day off.” Andras thanked him and went to his desk to collect his things.

“You keep things very casual, Lucien,” Mor said as they began to exit the building.

“Someone has to,” Lucien shrugged and turned to Rhys. “How was Tamlin?” He was vaguely aware of Mor watching their interaction play out, of her studying how close they walked next to each other.

Lucien prayed to the Mother that she wouldn’t pick up on the fact that despite all his efforts not to, he was crushing on her cousin.

\-------------------

They’d paid the man at the bowling alley to not tell anyone that they were there. He had shrugged and agreed. There weren’t many people there anyways seeing as it was 3:30 on a Wednesday and most people were at work or school.

Lucien and Rhys had teamed up to best Mor, agreeing to buy her ice cream if she won. They named their team Rhycien, a combination of their names that Mor had concocted. The two of them had started out strong, but as time went on they were losing their game.

“That’s another strike for me,” Mor said, grinning as she sat on the sofa across from Rhys and Lucien who were muttering to each other, glancing over at her or up at the scoreboard every so often. “Your turn.”

Rhys stood up to bowl. Mor didn’t miss the encouraging pat on the back that Lucien gave him. She smiled at Lucien, and he turned towards her, cocking a brow in question. She shook her head, Nothing. Lucien huffed a laugh and returned his attention back to her cousin.

Rhys stepped up to the line, ball in hand. He held it up to his face and took a deep breath before he swung his arm back and rolled the ball. Both him and Lucien were holding their breath, probably hoping for a strike. No luck. The ball knocked over 7 pins.

Rhys turned around, scrunching his nose up, before he picked up a second ball and returned to the line. There were two pins on one side of the lane and one pin on the other. 

“Come on, pretty boy, don’t fail me now,” Lucien said, his head propped up on his fist. 

If he noticed the tinge of red creeping up Rhys’s neck, he didn’t show it. Though Mor had noticed it, and noticed how it made him hesitate before he rolled the ball and missed the two pins. Rhys threw up his hands in exasperation and turned back to Mor and Lucien.

“Pity,” Lucien cooed as Rhys sat back down beside him. Mor’s attention caught on the way Lucien’s eyes flicked to Rhys’s lips as he did so. Rhys didn’t notice. If he had, she would’ve known.

Mor stood up to bowl. She was not going to meddle. She did not want to get in the middle of the sexual tension she just witnessed. Cauldron, it was going to be difficult though.

Mor rolled another strike to win the game, and Lucien and Rhys stood up in outrage. 

“I call bullshit,” Lucien said first, his arms crossed over his chest. Rhys turned to him.

“Lucien, you can’t just call bullshit, you need proof,” Rhys said.

“Of course I can, Rhys.” He gestured to Mor. “She had an advantage.” 

“Did I now?” Mor interjected.

“Yes, Morrigan, you have a spelled ball,” said Lucien, raising his chin. Rhys snorted but threw his arm over Lucien’s shoulder. Mor tracked the movement, how Lucien didn’t seem fazed by it at all. Idiots. 

“What do you suppose we do then?” Rhys asked, glancing down at Lucien.

“I propose we bring Mor with us to get ice cream, but not let her get any unless she pays for it herself.” Lucien looked over and made eye contact with Mor. “It’s her own fault for cheating really.” Mor rolled her eyes.

“I second that idea. Come on, Mor.” Mor sighed, realising she would never beat the two of them and followed after.  
\------------------

“Lucien, you’re trying to tell me that vanilla is your favourite ice cream flavour?” asked Rhys as they stood in line for ice cream.

“I don’t see what’s wrong with it.” Rhys’s mouth hung open.

“How are we friends?” Lucien rolled his eyes.

“Well, Rhys, I’m pretty sure it was _you_ who--”

Rhys cut him off despite loving it when Lucien told him off. “Mor, what do you think of vanilla?” Mor turned away from the row of ice cream to look at him.

“It’s fine, but I like it a bit more rough,” Mor said before she turned to Lucien and cocked her head. “Didn’t take you for a vanilla kind of guy.” Rhys glanced over at his friend to find Lucien’s cheeks flushing. That almost never happened.

“Mor, we’re talking about ice cream here,” Lucien said, rubbing the back of his neck. Rhys had never seen him so flustered. He was missing something, but there was no way he was going to ask what.

“Mmhmm, alright, well, chocolate ice cream is superior.” Mor winked at Lucien. He gave her a look that Rhys couldn’t read, and Mor grinned before flipping her hair over her shoulder and returning her gaze to the row of ice creams.

“What was that about?” Rhys couldn’t help asking as him and Lucien moved forward in line. Lucien’s eyes snapped to his.

“Nothing,” Lucien responded immediately. Rhys heard Mor snort and looked back at her, but she acted like nothing had happened. If only he could read people like Mor could.

\--------------------

A few hours later, Mor and Rhys were eating In-N-Out of the sofa watching Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta. Rhys had become obsessed with the fast food place since moving to LA. They had it an unhealthy amount.

“So you and Lucien… You’re friends, right?” Mor said, breaking the comfortable silence between them. She wasn’t going to meddle, she was just… curious.

“Obviously.” Rhys popped a fry in his mouth, his gaze not leaving the TV screen. “Haven’t we already had this conversation?” 

“We have...” Mor started.

“Right, so why ask?” Rhys looked at her now, his brows furrowed.

“It’s just…” Mor chewed on her bottom lip.

_Stop meddling, Mor._ Her mother’s voice said in her head.

“Just what, Mor?” She looked away from Rhys’s piercing violet gaze.

“You just seem to act otherwise is all.”

“You think we’re dating?” Mor looked down at her food. “Christ, Morrigan, I’m not _gay_.” Mor tried not to flinch.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Mor muttered, standing up to go throw her trash away. Rhys didn’t respond, but she didn’t want him to. Not really. 

She debated going back into the living room and telling him off, but in the end she went down the hall to her bedroom. If he wanted to deny his feelings, that was his problem.


	8. Chapter 8

_6 weeks into filming_

Mor was nervous, incredibly so. She couldn’t remember the last time she had gone on a date. She’d gotten so used to just flirting her way to a one night stand, but that wasn’t what she wanted anymore.

Usually, she would get help from Rhys on what to wear, but she wasn’t speaking to him. She hadn’t spoken to him in days despite his many apologies. Maybe she should just let it go, but for some reason, she couldn’t.

And anyways, he was barely ever home, even today, their last day off before filming ends. Mor had no doubt that he was over at Lucien’s or out doing something with him. Either way, Rhys was still suppressing his feelings.

_Don’t go all out_ , Mor told herself as she walked to her closet. _It’s only lunch._

Mor flicked through the dresses in her closet, some she’d only worn once, others she’d worn hundreds of times, but none of them seemed right for today. _Not a dress then_ , Mor thought, biting at her lip.

Mor wrapped her robe tighter around herself as she walked over to her chest of drawers. Skirt, shorts, or jeans? Mor had no idea, but she began trying on different outfits anyways.

An hour or so, and about 40 outfits later, Mor stood in front of her mirror. She was wearing a red corduroy skirt with metal buttons down the front and a white off-the-shoulder top. She grinned and sat down at her vanity to do her hair. She pulled half of it up into a bun and let the rest fall down past her shoulders in soft waves.

Mor clasped her dainty gold charm bracelet around her wrist before putting on some light makeup. When she was done, she grabbed her purse and her phone and took one last look in the mirror before practically bouncing out of her apartment.

\-------------

“What’s Mor doing today?” Lucien asked as he slid off the countertop and walked to the fridge. Rhys frowned from his seat at the breakfast bar, his eyes following Lucien as he got fruit out of the fridge.

“How would I know?” He hadn’t spoken to Mor today, not even to apologise. He’d left earlier this morning without telling her. She wouldn’t have spoken to him anyways, and if she needed him, she probably knew she could just go through Lucien.

“Right, you’re fighting, for reasons unknown,” Lucien said with look. Rhys looked down at his phone, promptly ignoring the subject. He didn’t want to talk about it. Luckily, Lucien didn’t push, he just sighed. “What are we doing then?” Rhys shrugged. “You’re impossible.”

“Isn’t it great?” Rhys said, glancing up with a smirk. Lucien rolled his eyes. “We could go to the Grove, if you want.” Lucien waved his hand.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine, just let me know when you want to leave.” 

\----------

Mor was fiddling with the charms on her bracelet outside the Panera Bread at the Grove. She knew she was early, and there was nothing to worry about, but she was still nervous. What if she got stood up? What if she had the wrong time? The wrong day?

All of those thoughts disappeared when she spotted Pandora walking towards her with a smile on her face. She looked stunning as usual. And holy Mother, her legs looked fantastic. Mor was trying not to stare.

“Hi!” Pandora said excitedly as she reached Mor and engulfed her in a quick hug. Mor hadn’t realised how short Pandora was until now, she was just tall enough to be able to peak over Mor’s shoulder. “Sorry I’m late, I got a bit held up with my sister.” Mor was reminded of herself in any other situation, cheerful and friendly. Not that she wasn’t right now, but she was completely flustered by Pandora’s presence. 

“Oh, no, it’s alright, I’m early.” Mor tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she and Pandora walked towards the entrance.

“Yes, well, Dee got upset when I wouldn’t tell her who I was going on a date with,” Pandora explained. Mor’s eyebrows raised and Pandora laughed a bit, pushing open the door. “She’s a big fan, I didn’t want her to go tell all of her friends that her sister was going on a date with the beautiful Morrigan Catena.” Mor felt her cheeks heat at the passing compliment. She saw Pandora smile to herself, her honey-gold eyes dancing in amusement.

“You look lovely, by the way,” Mor said as they got in line to order.

“Thank you, but might I say that you are probably the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, and when you asked me out, I about died right there behind the counter.” Mor laughed, she had to be kidding, but Pandora grasped her wrist gently. “I’m serious. I couldn’t believe it.”

“I couldn’t believe you said yes,” Mor said quietly, and Pandora smiled again as they reached the front of the line.

“I’m really a gymnast, but being a barista is what pays the bills and things when it’s not competition season,” Pandora said twenty minutes later. “I usually train at the gym during the day though.” She ate a spoonful of her tomato soup.

“Sports were never really my thing,” Mor said. “I played them, I was good at them, but it was never something I thought about doing in the long term.” Pandora nodded and began speaking again, but Mor’s attention caught on a flash of red hair about ten yards away. Oh gods. Yes, that was Lucien and her cousin standing in line to order food.

If she could just make eye contact with Lucien, and get him to leave… thank the Mother, Lucien looked over a moment later and met her gaze. His eyes widened and Mor shook her head slightly, enough for him to pick up on, and he nodded back just as lightly, and turned to Rhys.

Mor flicked her eyes back and forth between her date and her cousin every few seconds. Lucien’s hand was on his arm as he spoke. Rhys looked up at the menu, but then Lucien turned his face back to look at him with his other hand, and, good gods, her cousin looked shocked. His eyes were practically bulging out of his head, and Mor could see him swallow from here.

“Ex-boyfriend?”

Mor blinked rapidly and turned back to Pandora. “What?”

“One of them over there,” Pandora said, tilting her head towards the line. Mor snorted and glanced back over at them. Lucien brushed his thumb across Rhys’s cheek.

“No, that’s my cousin and his best friend. Rhys and I aren’t exactly speaking right now, and Lucien is being a dear and getting Rhys to leave,” Mor explained.

“So they’re not dating?” Pandora asked, and Mor sighed, turning back to Pandora as Rhys and Lucien left the restaurant.

“My cousin isn’t gay,” Mor said with a bit of an eye roll. “Or at least that’s what he told me when I asked the same question you just did.” Mor looked down at her macaroni and cheese and pushed it around a bit with her fork.

“Seems fake,” Pandora shrugged, and Mor laughed.

“Agreed.”

\--------------

“Why were you in such a hurry to get out of there?” Rhys asked as he and Lucien walked down the street.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lucien replied, but he did, he knew. He did what Mor had subtly asked him to. He still had no idea what their stupid fight was about, or whose fault it was. He and Mor were even now, at least. He keeps her date a secret, and she keeps his (completely obvious) crush a secret.

Now, the other question he knew Rhys wouldn’t dare ask was why he got so close and clingy. The truth was, Lucien had done it because he hoped it would fluster Rhys enough into agreeing to leave, and he felt slightly horrible about it. He had played on emotions that Rhys hadn’t confronted yet, emotions that Lucien himself hid on the daily.

“If you say so,” Rhys muttered, and Lucien internally cringed. Rhys stopped in front of an ice cream cart. He got chocolate, of course, and got Lucien a vanilla without having to ask. Once he paid, Rhys turned back to Lucien and handed him his ice cream. “You can talk to me, you know.”

“I know.” 

Rhys’s stared at him for a few more moments before whispering, “Okay,” and putting his free arm around Lucien’s shoulders. Lucien resisted the urge to take Rhys’s hand and instead focused his attention on walking and eating his ice cream.

A teenage girl with a camera around her neck walked in front of them, blocked their path, and said, “Sorry, but could I take a picture of the two of you for my photography project?”

Rhys opened his mouth to respond, but Lucien did before he could. “As long as you send it to me after.” Rhys looked down at him incredulously just as Lucien looked up at him.

“You’re joking,” Rhys said, he looked like he was about to start laughing.

“No, pretty boy, I’m not joking.” Rhys covered his blush with a laugh, and Lucien smiled back at him, and then looked back at the girl, who was grinning. “What do we need to do?”

“Nothing, I’ve already got what I need,” she said. Both Lucien and Rhys raised their eyebrows. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” Lucien glanced up at Rhys before sliding out from under his arm and walking over to the girl to give her his email. The girl looked down at the email and back at him, her jaw dropped open. “You’re Lucien Vanserra?” Lucien put a finger to his lips and winked before sauntering back over to Rhys.

“C’mon, the paps will be here within the next 10 minutes probably,” Lucien said, not caring as he took Rhys’s hand to guide him back to the car. 

“For a fox, you’re not very clever at dealing with teenage girls,” Rhys said, still eating his ice cream. Lucien stopped in his tracks, and pulled Rhys closer to where he had to tilt his head up to look in his eyes. Rhys almost dropped his ice cream.

“I didn’t see you trying to stop me,” Lucien said to the now-flustered Rhys, who sputtered on air. If only he could put their damn lips together. “Hmm, that’s what I thought.” Lucien licked his ice cream.

“Well--” Lucien grinned and pulled Rhys along again.

\-------------------

The date was going great. Mor and Pandora finished lunch a while ago and were walking through the Grove, holding hands, much to Mor’s delight. Mor looked behind her and spotted a group of the paparazzi with a groan. Why today?

She squeezed Pandora’s hand to get her to pause walking as she opened her purse and fished out her sunglasses and floppy sun hat and put them on. Usually she didn’t disguise herself, but for once she didn’t want to get swarmed, not when her and Pandora were just starting out.

Hopefully, Lucien and Rhys had been the ones that they’d been given a tip about, and not her. At least then they wouldn’t be looking for her.

“I’m sorry,” Mor said, brushing her thumb over Pandora’s hand. Pandora shook her head and pulled Mor into one of the short alleyways between buildings. Mor took off her sunglasses to see her better.

“I knew what I was getting myself into, Mor.” The way she said her name made Mor’s heart flutter just a bit. “If you want me to go, I’ll go, but--” Mor shook her head furiously.

“No, please stay, I don’t want this date to end,” Mor admitted, squeezing Pandora’s hand. 

Pandora smiled softly: “Neither do I.” 

Mor sagged a bit in relief. So her cousin hadn’t unintentionally fucked her over. Thank the Mother.

“We can go see a movie then?” Mor phrased it like question, so Pandora could say no if she wanted. Pandora looked down at their joined hands.

“Okay, but before we go, I need to do something first.” Pandora’s eyes were bright when she looked back up at Mor.

“Do what?” Mor furrowed her brows, a bit confused.

The first thing she did was reach up and put her warm hand on Mor’s neck, which put butterflies in Mor’s stomach. The second thing she did was stand up on her tiptoes and tilt her head up to brush her lips across Mor’s, painfully softly. Too soon, her lips were gone, and Pandora was tugging her gently along towards the cinema. Mor was already a goner.


	9. Chapter 9

Pandora’s laugh reverberated through Mor as they walked down the street, arm in arm. Mor felt drunk on Pandora’s presence. She knew she was staring, but she couldn’t care less.

Pandora was truly captivating, and passionate, and gorgeous. Gods, she was so pretty. 

Her skin was smooth and soft until you got to her hands where she had lovely calluses from the bars at the gym. And her muscles, Cauldron, she looked so small, but then you hug her or feel practically any part of her body and she’s like fucking steel.

Yes, Mor liked her _a lot_. She wanted to kiss her again. Properly this time, when she actually knew what was going on. Pandora had had her completely flustered for almost their entire date today. 

“Mor?” Mor blinked and realised that her and Pandora had slowed to a stop, and Pandora’s cheeks were slightly flushed as she looked up at Mor. _Oh, right._ She’d been staring. Pandora smiled when she realised she’d gotten Mor’s attention. “You were making heart eyes.”

“Sorry, I, um--” Mor swallowed. “You’re just very charming, and beautiful.” Pandora’s eyes flicked down and back up at Mor.

“So are you,” Pandora said, shifting a bit closer.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page, then,” Mor said, her eyes trailed to Pandora’s lips. Pandora hummed. They stayed there watching each other until Pandora turned away and tugged Mor’s arm.

“C’mon, I want to show you something,” Pandora said.

They ended up in front of a dark building, one for which Pandora had the keys. It all felt very ominous matched with the very few streetlamps lining the roadside while it was at least an hour past sunset.

“Where are we?” Mor whispered to Pandora, who was unlocking the door. Pandora just grabbed her hand and tugged her inside. Mor was pulled down who knows how many dark hallways until they reached a door, which Pandora pushed open. 

They entered a large room, empty of people, but not objects. Moonlight was shining in from the high up windows, illuminating the room dimly.

“This is my gym,” Pandora said as she continued walking, Mor being pulled along with her. The moonlight--Mor found--made Pandora even more lovely.

Pandora pointed things out as they walked: The beams, the bars, the trampolines, the floor, and finally, the pit, which was full of foam cubes. That was where they stopped. 

“I first came here for my friend’s birthday party around the age of 5 and decided I quite enjoyed swinging from the bars and trying to do fancy tricks on the trampolines.” Pandora looked over at Mor after she grabbed hold of a thick rope hanging from the ceiling. “Mostly, I liked swinging from this rope into the pit, but that’s not really something you do to compete.” Mor laughed softly.

“You want to try it?” Pandora asked, holding out the rope to Mor, whose eyebrows rose. Mor looked down at herself and back up at her date.

“I’m wearing a skirt.”

“And I’m wearing a dress, but a gymnast always wears spandex underneath.” Pandora winked.

“Really?” Mor said, cocking her head to the side. Pandora laughed.

“No, I just don’t like the possibility of flashing people,” Pandora said with a grin. “C’mon it’ll be fun.” Mor still wasn’t convinced it was a good idea. Pandora leaned closer: “I promise I won’t look in the off chance that you land face first.” Mor’s cheeks heated, and Pandora pulled back again, though she still held out the rope.

“Fine,” Mor said, though a smile was tugging at her lips as she took the rope from Pandora. Mor backed up a bit so she could run and jump.

“Taking off your sandals might help you run faster,” Pandora commented. Mor huffed, blowing up stray hairs, and sat down to take off her sandals. Pandora was watching her.

“I can feel your eyes, panda,” Mor said, glancing up from the clasps of her sandals. 

Pandora looked away, but said, “Panda?” Mor smiled and turned her attention back to her shoes.

“It’s cute, I think.” A flush crept up Pandora’s neck. Mor stood up a few moments later after setting her sandals aside. Mor adjusted her grip on the rope. “Are you ready?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Pandora asked, looking over at Mor again. Mor shrugged before she ran forward, clutching the rope. She let go over the middle of the pit, fell into the sea of foam cubes, and launched into a fit of giggles. 

“Having fun?” Pandora grabbed hold of the rope and looked down at Mor. 

“It seems so,” Mor replied, shifting around to face Pandora and leaning back on her forearms after adjusting her skirt a bit. “It’s your turn now, missy.”

“Of course, Miss Catena,” Pandora said with a dramatic curtsey. Pandora backed up after slipping off her shoes. “You’re adorable when you’re giggly, by the way.” Mor blushed again, and then Pandora was running and jumping in. 

Pandora’s dress poofed out around her, and she huffed a laugh as she watched it deflate. Mor would’ve been perfectly content just watching her, but then she looked up with a soft smile, and Mor was melting again.

Pandora moved closer to her until she was almost hovering over Mor. Pandora was trying to be subtle about looking down at Mor’s body, and while Mor didn’t mind, it wasn’t working. 

“I’d very much like to kiss you again,” Mor whispered, still looking up at Pandora’s face, at the way she was slightly chewing at her lip. It wasn’t a question, but Pandora’s eyes flicked to hers and she nodded slowly. Mor pushed herself up on her hands and pressed her lips to Pandora’s.

Pandora’s hand came up to cup Mor’s face as her tongue slid along the seam of Mor’s lips. Mor’s mouth parted, and Pandora’s tongue moved inside. Mor had wanted to have the control the next time they kissed, but that control was slipping as Pandora moved to straddle her lap and cupped her face in both hands now. It was taking all her effort to keep herself sitting upright amongst the cubes.

Pandora’s hands moved down to rest on her bare shoulders, her thumbs brushing softly back and forth, and Mor took that as an opportunity to break their kiss and start placing kisses to Pandora’s jaw. Pandora froze when she did so, however. Good job, Mor, you fucked up by going too far on the first date.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have--that was probably inappropriate for a first date, I’ve not done this whole dating thing in a while--” Pandora placed a finger to her lips and shook her head slightly, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards.

“Keep going,” Pandora said lowly, her finger now trailing down Mor’s neck. Mor leaned in slowly and pressed a tentative kiss to Pandora’s jaw, and Pandora’s hand found its way into her hair. Mor was well and truly fucked if she didn’t get a second date.  
\-------------------

When Lucien had told Rhys he wasn’t good at dancing about 3 glasses of wine in, Rhys had stood up in outrage. Rhys was a master of many things, including dancing. He’d dragged Lucien to his feet after demanding that he be the judge of Lucien’s dancing skills.

“See, you’re not that bad,” Rhys said now as they were swaying and spinning around Lucien’s living room. The sun had long set on Los Angeles, and the lights in Lucien’s apartment weren’t off, but they certainly weren’t on the highest setting.

“Hmmm, that’s the alcohol talking, I think,” Lucien said, nodding towards their glasses and the wine bottles on the coffee table. They had gotten through another one since beginning to dance. “You love getting me drunk.”

“Maybe,” Rhys said before twirling Lucien so his back was against Rhys’s front, his arms across his torso. Lucien sucked in a breath, and Rhys murmured close to his ear, “Maybe not.” Then Lucien was spun back around again, and Rhys’s eyes were boring into his. It looked like he was looking for something in Lucien’s eyes as they continued dancing.

At some point, after more wine and more dancing, Rhys slowed almost to a stop and brushed his thumb across Lucien’s knuckles. Lucien’s eyes immediately went to their loosely clasped hands. Lucien still felt Rhys’s eyes on the side of his face as he did it again. 

They stopped dancing, and Rhys adjusted their hands to interlace their fingers. Lucien swallowed and kept his eyes on their hands. It didn’t help that he was now aware of how close they were standing.

“I have a hypothesis,” Rhys whispered, his breath hot against Lucien’s ear once more. It sent a shiver down his spine.

“Hmm?” Lucien said, for it was all he could muster up. His thoughts were muddled from the wine. Lucien dragged his eyes to Rhys’s face, but didn’t meet his gaze. Gods, he was painfully attractive. Lucien absently ran one of his left knuckles along Rhys’s jaw. Idiot.

“If I kiss you right now, then you’ll kiss me back,” Rhys said lowly, and Lucien’s stomach flipped. He met Rhys’s eyes then and found them dark.

“Will you test it?” Lucien breathed, glancing down at Rhys’s lips which were getting dangerously close to his. Lucien knew full well that he’d kiss Rhys back like the crushing teen boy he felt like. Gods, what was he doing? Rhys’s face moved closer. 

“For science.” Like some kind of experiment. Lucien was truly a fool if he thought this would mean anything. 

But then Rhys’s lips slowly brushed against his, and Lucien’s doubtful thoughts drifted away. The kiss was cautious, but Rhys’s lips were incredibly soft. Lucien genuinely thought he was going to melt, even as Rhys’s hands didn’t move.

Rhys pulled away after a minute or two, and Lucien cocked his head to the side. 

“You can touch me, you know,” Lucien said, running his hand down from Rhys’s broad shoulder to his hand. Rhys’s eyes flicked between that hand and Lucien’s face. “It’s just like kissing anyone else.” Lucien guided Rhys’s hand slowly up and down his side. Lucien let go and waited. 

Just when he thought Rhys would pull away, he reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind Lucien’s ear. 

“Mmm, I’m sure you do that to all the girls.” Rhys’s eyes flickered, and Lucien silently cursed himself.

Rhys slid his warm hand around to grasp the back of Lucien’s neck, though, and pulled Lucien towards him again. He pressed their lips back together, and released Lucien’s other hand, sliding his own hand up Lucien’s arm and then down his chest. The kiss was still probing and slow, but it was lovely nonetheless. Lucien rested one hand on Rhys’s chest, while the other gripped his chin gently.

If he was less drunk, Lucien would’ve stopped Rhys from sliding his hand up his shirt. He prefered to have his lovers sober, or at least sober enough to make conscious decisions. Lucien was pretty sure both he and Rhys were past that line, but he didn’t want to stop.

He expected Rhys to push his shirt over his head, but after roaming his hand up Lucien’s chest, Rhys only rested his hand on Lucien’s waist, just under his shirt. At least one of them was thinking somewhat rationally. Lucien slid his hand up into Rhys’s hair and found it was softer than he even imagined.

The kiss turned sloppy and tired at some point, and Lucien pulled away, his eyes still closed for a moment. Rhys didn’t move away. 

When Lucien opened his eyes, he saw Rhys with messy hair, swollen lips, and wide but drooping eyes. Lucien smiled softly, and dragged his hand down Rhys’s face, then cupped it, brushing his thumb across Rhys’s lips, then ran the back of his hand down it, then pulled his hand back and clutched it to his chest.

“It’s late,” Lucien said. His voice was so loud against the silence. “You can go ahead and stay in that spare room you always stay in.” Neither of them moved until Lucien leaned forward to capture Rhys’s lips just once more. There was no telling when he’d get to do so next. Then he walked away, leaving Rhys to get to his room alone.

\-------------

When he woke up in the morning, Rhys’s immediate thought was _fuck_. What a fucking idiot he was. Then he thought maybe he’d dreamed what happened last night, which was a plausible idea. He always had weird dreams when he drank a lot, but this wasn’t a dream. It was too vivid.

The worst part wasn’t even that it happened, or that he liked it, but that he had distinctly told Mor he wasn’t gay and then days later, while they were fighting over him telling her that, he was kissing his fucking best friend.

He could act like he forgot it ever happened, pretend like he couldn’t remember anything from last night. Lucien would probably see right through it. Lucien knew that Rhys handled his alcohol better than he did, and if Lucien remembered then so should Rhys.

He could always just say he didn’t like it, but that was somehow worse. He didn’t want to hurt Lucien. That was the last thing he wanted to do. Just pretending to not remember though… that would be better. It had to be, at least until Rhys figured himself out.

Rhys got out of bed and walked out into the hall. He found Lucien in the kitchen with a cup of coffee. He was on his phone, probably checking emails, but he looked up when Rhys entered the room.

“Good morning,” Rhys said, crossing to the coffee pot on the counter. Lucien’s eyes were burning a hole into his back. Shit. “What time is it?” Rhys pulled out a mug and poured himself a cup of coffee. Lucien didn’t respond as Rhys went to grab creamer from the fridge.

“8:15,” Lucien said after a few moments. Rhys nodded to himself as he poured cream and sugar into his coffee. “Are we not going to talk about last night?” Rhys clenched his hand around the bottle of creamer and squeezed his eyes shut. Shit.

“What about it?” Rhys said, setting down the creamer and stirring his coffee. He tried to sound nonchalant about it, but he wasn’t sure it was working.

“Rhys.” Rhys turned around, holding his coffee mug. Lucien had set down his phone. _Shit._

“Hmm?” Lucien narrowed his eyes slightly at him.

“Do you not remember?” Lucien asked, standing slowly from the island. Rhys made a show of furrowing his brows and shaking his head.

“I don’t remember,” Rhys replied, taking a sip of his coffee and swallowing painfully. Lucien cocked his head to the side as he moved closer.

“Do I need to remind you?” Rhys wanted to say yes, but then he’d have to lie even more and say that he didn’t like it, and that still wasn’t something he wanted to do.

Lucien was standing right in front of him now, and Rhys sucked in a breath. Lucien’s eyes were glued to Rhys’s lips, and Lucien furrowed his brows as if it was painful to do. Fuck.

Lucien’s phone began to ring, and he quickly went to answer it. There was eye-rolling and sighing, but he hung up a few minutes later. He didn’t look up at Rhys, instead staring at the countertop. Silence hung heavy in the air.

“I’m going to get breakfast, I’ll be back soon,” Lucien said before grabbing his wallet off the counter and walking to the elevator. That went better than expected.


	10. Chapter 10

_7 weeks into filming_

Filming was almost over, and all had been fine until Rhys and Mor’s fight a little over a week ago. Mor had only spoken to Rhys when it was absolutely necessary. He had tried to apologise multiple times, but she ignored him. 

Lucien had noticed the change between them and asked him about it, but Rhys brushed it off, and Lucien, thankfully, hadn’t brought up the topic again. He didn’t want to talk about it. Nor did he want to talk about the events of the other night that Rhys was trying desperately to forget.

“ACTION!” Tamlin shouted from his seat by the camera. Rhys could see Lucien in his peripheral vision standing beside Tamlin. 

His cousin was standing in front of him, though her eyes were blue rimmed with gold and not their usual brown. All this time, and Rhys still hadn’t gotten used to it. She looked like she was trying not to yell at him, but that had become a normal for her.

“Have you moved from literature to history?” Rhys asked, looking down at the books on Celaena’s desk. “ _A Brief History of Modern Erilea. Symbols and Power. Eyllwe Culture and Customs_.” He raised an eyebrow. Mor shifted on her feet and delivered her line. She looked uncomfortable which was much unlike her character and Mor herself.

They hadn’t reached this issue yet. Mor and Rhys had filmed almost all of their scenes already, but this was one of their final ones. It was unavoidable, but they hadn’t talked about it. Rhys had assumed they would’ve already resolved their fight.

Rhys could feel Lucien’s frown and fought to not look over at him and apologise, maybe tell him the truth. It was Rhys’s fault they were in this fight in the first place. If you could even call it a fight, it was more like a cold war. He’d been stupid and insensitive and he wanted to fix it, but Mor wouldn’t let him. And that kiss--

Tamlin called cut, and Mor relaxed before storming off towards Lucien and grabbing his arm. She began whispering to him, and he nodded, looking confused. He glanced at Rhys once before Mor guided him somewhere more private. 

\--------------

“I need to explain what’s happening with Rhys and I,” Mor had said when she’d walked up to him.

Lucien and Mor were now standing in a random corner away from the rest of the cast and crew. Mor looked stressed and as if she hadn’t been sleeping well, though she hadn’t looked that way just a moment ago. It was as if the mask had slipped.

“You remember that day we went bowling a couple weeks ago?” Mor asked in a hushed tone. Lucien nodded. He most definitely remembered that day and how Mor had read him like an open book. “Well, when we got home, we were sitting on the couch and eating dinner and watching TV.”

“Okay?” Lucien said, still confused.

“And I know I shouldn’t have brought it up--trust me, I know--but I asked him…” Mor paused and bit her lip. “I asked him if the two of you were friends, _just_ friends, that is, and he… didn’t like what it implied.” Oh. Lucien frowned.

“I see.”

“In the sense that I’d implied he was attracted to men, that he would date a man.” _Oh_. “He acted like it was a bad thing, and I know I shouldn’t still be hung up on it because he’s tried to apologise, but--”

“Well, it seems you were both in the wrong.” Mor looked like he had just reprimanded her, but Lucien wasn’t surprised. His eyes were probably flaming. “You shouldn’t have meddled.” Lucien glanced over in the general direction of Rhys and furrowed his brows. “And he shouldn’t have been so insensitive.” And then he’d gone and kissed Lucien. Couldn’t he make up his mind?

“Lucien, I hope you know that I didn’t mean to imply that _you_ \--” Lucien silenced her with a look that hopefully told her it didn’t matter what he felt if Rhys didn’t feel the same, but after the other night… No, if Rhys had felt anything other than friendship he wouldn’t be pretending it never happened. 

Lucien hated the way Mor gave him a sad smile, hated the pity that shone in her eyes.

“I will not play peacemaker again,” he said firmly before going to find Rhys.

\-------------

Rhys wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or terrified as he saw Lucien walking towards him alarmingly quickly. Turns out, it was the latter. Lucien’s palm connected with his face too quickly for him to detect and left his cheek stinging in its wake.

“That’s for being an insensitive asshole,” said Lucien. “Walk with me.” Lucien turned away as soon as he finished speaking and Rhys scrambled after him.

“I’m sorry.” Lucien ignored him and continued speaking, clutching his binder to his chest.

“Let me tell you something. You probably already assumed this, but I’m bisexual.” Rhys swallowed, he _had_ assumed that because of what Mor had said when he first got here, but he knew it because of that kiss. “As is your cousin, might I add.” 

Lucien pushed open the stage door and stepped out into the sunlight. Rhys followed after him until he stopped a few feet into the lot and turned to Rhys, his red hair glinting like fire in the sunlight. 

“So why on Earth would you act--even for a moment--like it wasn’t okay, like you weren’t okay with it.”

_Maybe_ pretending he’d forgotten the kiss had made things worse, but Rhys _knew_ he’d only made things worse by not telling Lucien what had happened with Mor. He was afraid Lucien would react like this. 

Cauldron, Lucien looked like he needed to be kissed though. Stop it, Rhys.

“Why, Rhys?” Why? Rhys didn’t know. He told Lucien as much. Lucien huffed a bitter laugh and shook his head. “Why am I not surprised.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucien looked as if he’d toed a line that he had no intention of crossing. He was looking anywhere but at Rhys. “Whatever you think you know about me, forget it.” Lucien looked like he’d been shot and suddenly a wave of guilt washed over Rhys. Lucien probably knew Rhys better than he knew himself, Rhys realised, but it was too late.

“Gladly,” Lucien said, though his voice cracked on the word. Before Rhys could work through a response, Lucien was walking away from him. No no no, this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Rhys’s eyes stung, but he blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. Not here. Never here.

\----------------

Mor was waiting for Rhys to return so she could talk to him. She should’ve just heard him out the first time, but it was too late for that. She was sure Lucien had done some sense talking already, which was good, because Mor didn’t think she’d be able to yell at her cousin.

What she didn’t expect was for Rhys to come back into the soundstage with glassy eyes and pain written across his face. The makeup assistants swarmed him immediately, asking no questions, of course, but looking slightly concerned all the same.

Rhys began walking towards her, and Mor just waited for him to come to her, but then he almost walked right past her, as if he hadn’t seen her. She sidestepped and gripped his arms, keeping him in place.

“Rhys, are you okay?” she asked, scanning his face that clearly _wasn’t_ okay. Rhys blinked a few times, as if waking up from a dream, and the pain was gone, almost. His eyes still held hurt. 

“Yeah, Mor, I’m fine.” Liar. “How are you?” Mor frowned at Rhys, but let him go.

“I’m fine. C’mon, we still have a scene to film.” Rhys nodded and followed after her as she walked towards the set.

Two hours later, Rhys was still messed up. They’d changed back into their normal clothes and were walking to the car. Every time Mor would try and start a conversation, Rhys would say something to end it as quick as possible.

“Rhys, what is wrong?” Mor asked as they reached her car.

“It’s nothing to do with you, Mor, don’t worry,” Rhys said and got into the car. Mor blinked and got in after him. 

“Alright then, who does it have to do with?” Mor put the key in the ignition and turned on the car before looking over at Rhys. He was looking out the window at the office building. “Rhys?” He looked back at her.

“No one, Mor, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” he said, shaking his head. But he looked back at the office building again and then down at his phone, and back at the building. Lucien then. 

Was it something that happened when Lucien had gone to talk to him? Most definitely. Before that, Rhys had been fine, with Lucien at least.

It had to have been bad, if Rhys was acting like he’d just gotten his heart broken. Gods, these stupid boys. When had he stopped talking to her? Maybe when he and Lucien had become closer than Mor even realised. 

She had plans with Pandora tonight, but they probably wouldn’t happen now that she had to deal with her moping cousin. They were supposed to go play laser tag. Mor guessed she’d have to regretfully reschedule.

\--------------

Lucien was sitting in his office, in his chair, holding a glass of scotch. He kept it in a crystal bottle on his desk, but he rarely drank any. Today was one of those rare days. Lucien had told Andras not to disturb him and not to let anyone else near his office to ensure he could drink his sorrows in peace.

He’d fucked up.

He shouldn’t have said anything to Rhys, shouldn’t have pushed him when he clearly wasn’t ready to be pushed, despite their drunken kiss a few days ago.

When he had asked why, he was asking about a great many things. Too many things. 

The obvious, why did he act so thoughtlessly? Yes, that was one. Why didn’t he tell Lucien? That was another, and it bothered him more than the former, but in all honesty, those weren’t the questions Lucien wanted the answers to. 

He wanted to know why they were friends--best friends, at that--, why Rhys suppressed his feelings, why Rhys had been watching him since the moment they met. In truth, they’d been watching each other, but Lucien wasn’t the one lying to himself. 

And lastly, why Rhys pretended like nothing happened the other day. There wasn’t a doubt in Lucien’s mind that he was pretending.

But then when Rhys had told him he didn’t know, something snapped in Lucien. He was upset, yes, but not surprised. That pain hadn’t shown in his voice though, making him sound heartless when he was just the opposite. Rhys had looked so helpless and confused.

What had happened in Rhys’s life to make him unable to accept himself? Mor saw it, the way Rhys silently reprimanded himself for his feelings. She saw the truth and yet Rhys still lied to her. Lucien himself had seen conflict on Rhys’s face that morning after.

It made no sense, but as Lucien had thought through those things, Rhys had already made up his mind. Rhys had decided to shut him out, and it hurt when he had. Lucien had left Rhys in the middle of the lot outside the soundstage.

He felt like he had when Jesminda left, except different. It was much different, and much worse. Lucien had lost Rhys before they’d even begun, but he’d been with Jesminda for years.

Gods, how could he be so stupid?

Lucien knocked back the last of the scotch in his glass, enjoying the burning sensation as it slithered down his throat. He poured another glass, and another, and another.

Some time and an unknown number of glasses of scotch later, his phone rang. Lucien fumbled a bit before picking up the phone with a hello.

“You absolute idiot. My cousin is in his room pretending like he didn’t just lose his best friend that he’s secretly crushing very _very_ hard on, and it’s all your fault,” Mor hissed into the phone.

“Tell him I’m sorry,” Lucien whispered, his words slurring a bit. “Mor, I didn’t mean to push him so much--” A hiccup. “I just wanted to know _why_.” He didn’t need to clarify why what. He knew Mor understood to an extent. “He didn’t know.”

“He does know, he just doesn’t accept it and so he tricks himself into thinking he doesn’t know.” Lucien hummed. He knew that. Mor sighed on the other end of the line. “You need to give him more time.”

“I will, I will, I promise, Morrigan,” Lucien babbled quietly. “Tell him I’m sorry.”

“I’ll tell him.”

“Good, good, that’s good.” The room was beginning to spin.

“Lucien, please have Andras take you home, I can’t have you completely breaking my cousin’s heart by dying.” Mor sounded so serious. 

“Alright, Morrigan,” he said and accidentally hung up before she could respond.


	11. Chapter 11

“Rhys?” Mor’s voice came from the other side of Rhys’s bedroom door just after her knock. She hadn’t spoken to him in over a week, but she was now, she had been for the past few hours. He was the one not speaking much now.

Rhys was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He didn’t love his room. It didn’t feel quite like his, but he was grateful for Mor. Grateful that she let him live with her without question. 

Mor didn’t enter the room, but she spoke again after a moment, her voice quieter than before, “Lucien said he’s sorry.” For what? For walking away? And how did she know it had to do with Lucien?

Cauldron, Rhys would’ve walked away from himself in that moment. Rhys couldn’t give Lucien a straight answer and then pushed him away. And it had hurt Lucien, Rhys had seen it written across his face before any and all emotion had disappeared.

It seemed he couldn’t do anything right these days.

Mor called his name again, almost desperately, and this time he answered.

“I don’t know why he’s sorry when everything he said was completely valid,” Rhys said, frowning up at the ceiling. There was silence for a minute before Mor answered him.

“Rhys, what happened?”

 

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll fix it.” Rhys had a feeling she didn’t believe him, but he knew he could fix it, at least he hoped he could.

And he did.

Rhys tentatively knocked on Lucien’s office door the next morning and chewed at his lip as he waited for a response. 

“Come in,” Lucien said, not even asking who it was. 

Lucien looked tense when Rhys saw him as he opened the door. The room was mostly dark, and Lucien was squeezing his temples like his head was pounding as he looked at the stack of papers in front of him. “What—“ Lucien’s voice died in his throat as he looked up and found Rhys. 

Lucien actually looked relieved to see him and the tension in his shoulders dissipated. For a moment, they just looked at each other until Lucien stood and walked around his desk, still rubbing his temples. 

“I—“ Rhys engulfed him in a hug before he could speak. Lucien’s arms were almost immediately around him and he rested his chin on Rhys’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for slapping you,” he finished. “And for yelling.”

Rhys shook his head and tightened his arms around Lucien. “You were right,” Rhys whispered. 

“I never said I wasn’t,” Lucien mumbled and Rhys sighed softly.

“I’m sorry for not telling you and for… shutting you out.” Lucien tightened his arms this time as if he was afraid Rhys would do it again. Little did he know that he was stuck with Rhys for eternity at this point. There was no way Lucien could get rid of him now. 

Lucien pulled back but Rhys gripped his forearms, keeping him in place. And when he saw Lucien’s small smile he suddenly realised how much he had to lose. The thought terrified him...

But all was well.

\----------------

_A few weeks later. Filming ended two weeks ago._

“Rhys, we should just get a baguette and be done with it,” Lucien said as him and Rhys stood in front of the wall of breads in the grocery store. “I can season it with garlic and shit, it’ll be easy.” 

Rhys had insisted that Lucien come and make them dinner tonight after learning of his more than meager ability to cook. Neither him nor Mor could cook to save their lives. Lucien honestly had no idea how they survived.

“I’m just not sure that’s the right decision,” Rhys said, taking a step back to better survey the array of different breads. Rhys wasn’t sure about _anything_ and it, quite honestly, drove Lucien mad. “I mean why not some rosemary focaccia? It’s already seasoned.”

“Are you doubting my ability to season bread?”

“No, of course not, Lucien dear, I’m just weighing the different options, that’s all.” _Dear_. Add that to the list of nicknames that made him squirm.

“Sure,” said Lucien before reaching for the baguette. “We’re getting this one.” Rhys was there in an instant, clasping his wrist. Lucien looked up to snap at him before realising how close their faces were. Gods, Rhys was even more attractive up close.

Lucien thought he heard someone mutter _Cauldron boil me_ before someone coughed nearby and Rhys quickly stepped back, releasing his wrist. Of course. For a moment, he’d had Lucien fooled by something in his eyes, but as soon as Mor appeared it was gone along with his touch.

“We’re getting the baguette,” Mor said, picking it up and placing it into the shopping cart. Lucien grinned triumphantly at Rhys as she began to walk away. Rhys stuck out his tongue at him and Lucien laughed. “You two act like an old married couple, I swear.”

“False,” Lucien said instinctually. Mor was really toeing the line of keeping Lucien’s secret here.

“Incorrect,” said Rhys though he nudged Lucien with his shoulder. Mor shook her head and got in line to check out.

\-----------------

An hour later, Lucien was in Mor’s kitchen chopping vegetables. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and his hair was in a bun, and Rhys could not keep his eyes off of him. 

The garlic bread was baking in the oven and the marinara sauce with meatballs was on the stove. Lucien checked on it occasionally and stirred it. Rhys had asked if he needed any help, but he hadn’t, so now Rhys sat at the kitchen table and watched.

Mor somehow found the television more intriguing, but Rhys was fascinated by the way Lucien’s hands moved so deftly. By the way he moved around the kitchen like he was born in it.

“Where did you learn to cook?” Rhys asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them. Lucien looked over at him and smiled before looking back at the cutting board in front of him.

“I took a class back in high school, much to my father’s dismay. Well, that was after he found out. He believed I’d been doing debate club.” Lucien looked Rhys straight in the eyes. “I had not been doing debate club.”

“Why weren’t you doing debate club? You’d have been good at it.” Lucien chuckled and set down his knife before leaning against the counter and looking at Rhys.

“Do you want the truth or the lie I told my father?”

“The truth,” Rhys said, not knowing what to expect. Lucien grinned at him.

“The boy I liked didn’t do debate, he did cooking.” Lucien turned back to stir the sauce. “Sadly, he was straight and only did cooking because of all the cute girls doing it.” Rhys shifted in his seat, and Lucien glanced sidelong at him, tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear. “You ever do something like that?”

“Like what?” Rhys blurted.

“Do something just because your crush was doing it.” Lucien gathered up the chopped vegetables and put them in the bowl that already held lettuce.

“Oh, um, yes actually,” Rhys fumbled with the words for some reason. Rhys saw Lucien smile as he was getting out the pot for pasta.

“Really? Do tell.”

“I auditioned for the school play in my sophomore year of high school because the girl I liked was auditioning and she regularly got the female lead. I thought maybe I’d get to kiss her if I got the male lead,” Rhys said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Lucien snickered as he filled the pot with water. Rhys picked at an invisible speck on the table. 

“I got the part, but turns out it was the female lead’s brother.” Lucien burst out laughing almost spilling water all over the kitchen floor as he did so. “Stop it! If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be here!”

He hoped Lucien caught his meaning. That he would be in Hollywood, wouldn’t be in Throne of Glass, but more importantly, he wouldn’t be here with Lucien right now. They wouldn’t have ever met. Rhys didn’t know why it mattered so much, but it did.

Lucien put his hands up in surrender as he set the pot on the stove: “Alright, alright, you’re right I shouldn’t laugh at your past misfortune.” Rhys was secretly angry at himself for cutting off Lucien’s warm laugh.

Lucien turned on the stove to boil the water before he walked over to Rhys and sat down in the seat next to him. Rhys swallowed and studied Lucien’s face, the way his brows knitted together just a bit and his eyes narrowed slightly. Lucien cocked his head to the side.

“Is something wrong?” Lucien asked. His hand twitched on the table as if he was trying not to reach out.

Rhys had the sudden urge to kiss him. He didn’t _want_ to obviously because he wasn’t attracted to men, but he felt like he _should_. That kiss a few weeks ago still didn’t mean anything--he’d been drunk and hadn’t known what he was doing, but now...

The water began to boil, and Lucien blinked before standing abruptly to go pour in the spaghetti. He didn’t look back at Rhys as he did so. He put on oven mitts and took out the garlic bread afterwards before setting the tray on top of the two unlit burners.

Lucien took off the mitts and put them away before he braced his hands on the counter. He was upset about something, but Rhys didn’t know what. Lucien looked over at him and looked like he was about to say something, but Mor breezed into the kitchen.

Rhys could’ve sworn guilt flashed in her eyes as she glanced at Lucien before she asked about dinner, but that didn’t make any sense.

“It’s almost ready,” Lucien answered as he took plates out of one of the cabinets. Mor grinned and sat down next to Rhys as if she hadn’t just interrupted something. But what _had_ she interrupted?

\-----------------

Rhys had been watching him cook, Lucien knew that, but he hadn’t called him out on it. He was terrified that Rhys would push him away if he did. And anyways, he liked it when Rhys watched him.

Lucien tried not to push Rhys, he really did. And when Rhys had gone quiet he’d been worried he _had_ pushed too much by bringing up his former crush. He wanted to fix it, but didn’t know how, so all he’d done was ask a simple question. Rhys had glanced at his lips, but Lucien didn’t know if it was intentional or not.

Time had seemed to stand still as they’d looked at each other in silence, until that silence had broken along with the spell on Lucien. Luckily, Mor had walked in before Lucien had said something on impulse. Though, he hated the way she always looked at him with pity in her eyes whenever Rhys was there.

She wasn’t fooling Lucien one bit, he knew about her secret girlfriend that she had yet to tell Rhys about. She hadn’t spoken to him about it at all after he saw them in Panera and had dragged Rhys out before he could spot them. Lucien still wouldn’t say anything, of course, he wasn’t the one who liked to meddle.

“Foxboy, it seems your cooking class paid off,” Rhys said with a wink. Lucien felt his cheeks heat. At the nickname or the compliment or the wink, Lucien wasn’t sure. Probably all three. “This is delicious.” 

“Yes, I agree,” Mor added. “I think you might rival Cassian for best family cook.” Family cook. Mor knew what she was saying and didn’t seem to care. 

“Thank you,” Lucien murmured, looking down at his plate. He sucked in a breath as a finger lifted up his chin and he was looking into violet eyes.

“Be proud, not many people can rival Cassian’s cooking skills,” Rhys said and Lucien swallowed visibly. He felt Mor’s wide eyes watching them as Rhys not-so-subtly glanced down at his lips for the second time that night. _Fuck._

“Okay,” Lucien whispered. Rhys smiled softly at him, but didn’t pull away. A moment later, he apparently remembered his façade and pulled away abruptly.

Lucien released the breath he’d been holding and resisted the urge to look over at Mor. Rhys was looking everywhere except at him. Lucien hadn’t pushed and yet here they were. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at his half-eaten plate and then finally over at Mor who still looked shocked.

“I should, um--I have some work to finish for tomorrow,” Lucien said, causing Rhys to finally look at him. The corners of Lucien’s mouth twitched up just a bit. “I’m glad you enjoyed dinner.”

“See you soon?” Mor said, clearly fighting a frown. Lucien nodded and stood, taking his plate to the sink.

He was grabbing his bag in the entryway when Rhys appeared. Lucien straightened and found Rhys less than a foot away. Neither of them spoke, but Rhys moved a bit closer to where Lucien had to tilt up his head slightly in order to look Rhys in the eyes. 

Was Rhys going to kiss him? Lucien hoped so.

Lucien couldn’t breathe, but then Rhys was hugging him and Lucien sighed. In relief or in disappointment, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that Rhys’s body was warm and comforting, so he wrapped his arms around him. 

He breathed in Rhys’s citrus and sea scent, and it almost made him cry. Almost. Lucien pulled away because he was afraid that if he held on for too much longer, he would never let go.

“Goodnight, Rhys,” Lucien said before slipping out the door.

\----------------

“What was that about?” asked Mor when Rhys reentered the kitchen. She had clearly gotten seconds on food and still sat at the table. Rhys decided to join her and grabbed his plate to refill it.

“What was what about?” Rhys said, feigning obliviousness as he scooped spaghetti onto his plate. Rhys knew Mor was glaring at him with one of her _Seriously?_ looks.

“You left the room after Lucien without saying anything.”

“Yeah, I was going to say goodbye.” And maybe kiss him. Rhys hadn’t exactly had a plan, but all he’d done was hug Lucien. Still, that made three times he’d thought about kissing Lucien. Shit.

“Okay,” Mor said, sounding only somewhat convinced. Rhys finished refilling his plate. He sat down across from Mor this time and began to eat. They ate in silence until Mor’s phone buzzed and she quickly picked it up off the table.

“Who is it?” Rhys asked, twirling spaghetti with his fork. When she didn’t answer, Rhys looked up and saw her smiling at her phone. “Mor?”

“Hmm?” Mor dragged her eyes up to look at him, her eyes bright and her lips pressed together as if she was trying to contain a laugh.

“Who is it?” Rhys repeated, and Mor set her phone face down on the table.

“Oh, it’s, um, it’s just Cresseida,” Mor replied. She was lying. Mor rarely lied, but Rhys didn’t push. He certainly didn’t have the right to, plus he wasn’t one to medde.

“Ask her how she is for me?” Rhys said, not betraying any signs that he didn’t believe her lie. Mor relaxed and nodded, but didn’t pick up her phone to do so. Interesting. 

She went back to her pasta, seemingly keen on avoiding eye contact with him. Alright then.


	12. Chapter 12

Rhys didn’t know what had gotten into him the other night. He’d tried to forget about it, but he couldn’t and he didn’t know why. He didn’t know a lot of things recently. But he did know that he had wanted to kiss Lucien before he left and that completely and utterly terrified him.

Terrified him because being genuinely attracted to another guy was a completely new experience, and he felt like he was in uncharted territory. Because he didn’t know if he’d be able to handle it if Lucien rejected him.

So he wouldn’t say anything. Wouldn’t do anything. Not until he was sure he wouldn’t get hurt. Maybe that was selfish, but so be it.

Mor had told him to invite Lucien over for a movie night, so that’s what he was going to do.

Lucien was speaking to Tamlin about something as Rhys walked towards them. He caught a glimpse of Lucien’s eye roll over Tamlin’s shoulder. 

Rhys caught Lucien’s eye and stuck out his tongue. Lucien’s mouth twitched upwards as Tamlin continued ranting. Rhys made a disgusted face at Tamlin that made Lucien laugh. Something in Rhys fluttered at that laugh.

Rhys knew Tamlin was frowning now, but Lucien tried to cover up his laugh with a cough and told Tamlin to go on. He shot a look at Rhys over Tamlin’s shoulder and Rhys winked. Lucien rolled his eyes again, and Tamlin whipped his head around to see Rhys with his hands in his pockets.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Tamlin growled, his face turning red in anger.

“No, actually, we’ve finished filming, if you hadn’t noticed, but I do need to speak with Lucien,” Rhys purred. Tamlin looked back at Lucien who shrugged and then stormed away, muttering _fucking homosexuals_ under his breath. That was… a bit concerning, but Rhys brushed it off. 

“What is it?” Lucien asked, walking towards him, a small smile on his face.

“Mor wants to know if you’ll come over for movie night tonight,” Rhys said, keeping pace with Lucien as he walked. 

“What are we watching?” Lucien said, glancing over at him.

Rhys shrugged, “We were thinking Star Wars, if that’s alright.” Lucien chuckled.

“You’re such nerds,” he said, pausing to sign something that someone held out to him. “I’m in.” Rhys grinned.

“See you later, then,” Rhys said, squeezing Lucien’s shoulder before going off to find Mor’s car that he’d driven over here.

\--------------

Tamlin was furious. There was clearly something going on between Rhysand and Lucien and he was going to talk to Amren about it. Surely it wasn’t okay seeing as Lucien was technically still Rhysand’s boss. It didn’t help that they were both men.

It, quite frankly, disgusted Tamlin that the two of them would be… participating in sexual activities together. It was unnatural really.

Tamlin ignored the fact that Lucien was technically also _his_ boss as he stalked up the spiraling staircase up to Amren’s office. Hopefully she would do something about it, hopefully she would disapprove as much as he did.

He pushed past Amren’s nervous looking assistant and banged on her door. He waited for her response before opening the door and entering her office. Tamlin ignored her annoyed sigh as she glanced up and saw him.

“I think Rhysand Spera and Lucien Vanserra are dating,” Tamlin said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It’s about damn time,” Amren muttered under her breath as she continued writing.

“What was that?” Tamlin demanded. Amren sighed again, setting down her pen and looking up at him.

“Tamlin, I do not give a flying fuck who is fucking who,” Amren said, and Tamlin’s face contorted in disgust. There was no need to use such foul language. It didn’t matter that she was his boss, it was highly inappropriate.

“You can’t possibly--”

“Get out of my office,” Amren commanded. “And leave Lucien and Rhys alone, it’s none of your damn business.” Fine then. He had to meet Ianthe for lunch anyways. Tamlin scoffed and left the room, his footsteps echoing on the stone floor.

\--------------

Lucien was sitting on Mor’s couch beside Rhys watching A New Hope. They were a few feet apart, a bowl of popcorn between them. Mor was sitting in an armchair nearby, her own bowl of popcorn on her lap, she had M&Ms mixed into hers. Her phone buzzed every few minutes, probably with texts from her girlfriend.

He glanced over at Rhys, who yawned for the 5th time in the past 5 minutes. Lucien wanted to move away the popcorn bowl and curl up next to him, but he wouldn’t. Not unless Rhys wanted him to, but there was no way of knowing. Not without asking, but that was not something Lucien wanted to do.

So he sat with his hands in his lap, watching the TV screen. He reached for a handful of popcorn and his hand brushed Rhys’s. When he looked over, Rhys was already watching him, as if he’d done it on purpose. Lucien averted his gaze and returned his hand to his lap without getting popcorn.

Lucien could feel the couch cushions shifting slightly as Rhys moved not-so-subtly closer to him. He didn’t acknowledge it though. 

Eventually, Rhys picked up the bowl of popcorn and set it on the coffee table. Great, now there was no way to distract himself from Rhys’s gorgeously tanned and muscled body beside him.

He slowly turned his attention to Rhys, and his breath caught as he met Rhys’ violet stare. His eyes were twinkling like they had stars in them. Rhys’s face was only inches away from his.

“Hi,” Lucien whispered, his eyes flicking down to Rhys’s lips and back up to his eyes. Rhys’s shoulder was brushing against his.

“Hello, I’m very tired, if you haven’t noticed, and I was wondering,” Rhys began, his eyes glancing down at what Lucien refused to be his lips. “If I could lay on you.”

“You want to--sure,” Lucien said a bit breathlessly. Lucien didn’t care that Mor was sitting only a few feet away. He shifted a bit so he was leaning against the arm of the couch, and Rhys didn’t hesitate to lay on top of him, his head on Lucien’s chest.

Lucien resisted the urge to run his fingers through Rhys’s hair as Rhys shifted around a bit to get comfortable. Lucien only hoped he didn’t notice his half hard cock as he did so. Finally, Rhys fell still and he rested his fingertips just under Lucien’s shoulder blades. 

Lucien got the feeling he was dreaming and that any moment he would wake up, but he never did.

\---------------

Mor watched as Lucien ran his fingers ever so softly through her cousin’s hair. The hand he wasn’t brushing through Rhys’s hair was resting lightly on his back. Rhys had fallen asleep on top of him. On purpose. She could tell Lucien was scared that Rhys would wake up and regret it. 

His eyes were glued to Rhys’s smushed face, checking for any signs that he would wake soon. Little did he know that Rhys slept like the dead and he was now stuck under him for the next 8-10 hours. Mor didn’t think he would mind.

Mor felt her eyes water as Lucien pressed a kiss to Rhys’s hair before he closed his own eyes, his hands resting gently on Rhys’s back. 

The movie came to an end, and Mor stood from her chair, grabbing her phone from the chair arm. She quietly took a few pictures of the two boys sleeping on her couch. She turned off the TV, grabbed a blanket, and laid it over Rhys and Lucien.

Mor prayed to the Mother that Rhys wouldn’t mentally scold himself in the morning. Prayed that he wouldn’t push Lucien away because of his own actions. 

Her phone chimed softly with another message from Pandora, and Mor smiled a bit. 

She still needed to tell Rhys about Pandora. It wasn’t that she was ashamed, she just didn’t know how. Mor had spent so long having casual sex that she didn’t know how Rhys would react to her having an actual relationship.

Mor sighed as she took the two bowls of popcorn into the kitchen. Those two boys had too much to work out for her to try and get in the middle again.

\--------------

Rhys awoke on top of something--someone--warm and muscled, but comfortable. He twisted his head to see who it was, and he gulped when he realised it was Lucien. 

Lucien, his best friend Lucien. Lucien, who he wanted to kiss, but was afraid to. Lucien, whose arms were wrapped around Rhys so gently as if he was afraid as well.

Rhys smiled a small smile up at Lucien and watched him sleep, Lucien’s face more relaxed than Rhys had ever seen. He returned his head to Lucien’s chest after a little while and listened to his breathing as he fell back asleep.

He awoke again in the morning to Lucien’s hand sliding up and down his back. Rhys didn’t want him to stop, but Lucien stilled when Rhys shifted his head a fraction. Rhys didn’t think Lucien was breathing, so he sat up with an apology tumbling from his lips.

“You should’ve woken me so you could go home,” Rhys amended after Lucien’s brows raised at his apology. Maybe he had wanted to stay. No, that was absurd. 

“You looked so peaceful, and then I fell asleep anyways,” Lucien said. Rhys could’ve sworn a blush was creeping up Lucien’s neck. Lucien slid his legs off the couch and they sat in silence until Mor strolled into the living room, her hair up in a towel.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” Mor said casually, her eyes flicking between them. “Cresseida’s having a party the Friday after this one, and she was wondering if you two would come. I assume Rhys will go since I am, but what about you, Lucien?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I mean aren’t I y’alls boss?” Lucien said. Mor shrugged and Rhys turned to him.

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Rhys said, nudging Lucien with his shoulder. Maybe if he was drunk he’d have the courage to make a move, an intentional one this time. Lucien looked between Rhys and Mor then back at Rhys.

Lucien swallowed before he said, a bit hesitantly, “Alright.” Rhys shot his fists into the air in victory, and Lucien laughed at him softly. 

Rhys didn’t want Lucien to leave yet.

“Can you make us breakfast?” Rhys asked Lucien. Both Mor and Lucien began to say his name before he laid his head down on Lucien’s lap and looked up at his face. “Please?” He drew out the word obnoxiously, and Lucien reluctantly agreed. Mor had disappeared somewhere.

“Move,” Lucien said, gently pushing away Rhys’s head. Rhys sat up again and Lucien stood, looking down at him. “You’re helping me, pretty boy, c’mon.” Lucien beckoned him with his hand as he started for the kitchen. This should be interesting.

\---------------

“Rhys, it’s really not that difficult,” Lucien said as Rhys was trying to measure out flour for the pancakes Rhys insisted on having. He was truly a disaster in the kitchen, and Lucien was surprised he and Mor even had all of the ingredients.

Lucien tried not to stare at the way Rhys was biting his lip in concentration, not that he really needed to be concentrating that much. It was just flour for crying out loud.

“Rhys--” Rhys held up a finger to his lips and then out to Lucien. Lucien huffed.

“Shh, I’ve got it.”

“You’re supposed to overfill it and then level it off,” Lucien said, tapping his finger on the counter impatiently. Rhys didn’t listen. “You’re taking fucking forever, Rhysand, give it.” Lucien reached over to take the measuring cup from Rhys, but he pulled it away, spilling flour on the counter.

“I said I’ve got it, Lucien,” Rhys said with a glare, continuing to try and fill the measuring cup exactly. Lucien raised an eyebrow, and Rhys clicked his tongue. “And look what you’ve done, making a mess of the flour. Clean it up, won’t you?” Lucien narrowed his eyes at how bitter he sounded just before Mor walked into the kitchen.

“Stop being such an ass, Rhys,” Mor said as she pulled a bottle of juice from the fridge. “He doesn’t even know what he did.” Rhys didn’t acknowledge her presence.

“I did something?” Lucien said, glancing over at Mor, who rolled her eyes, but mouthed _Just wait_.

“Rhysand, you’re acting like a child,” Mor said, and Rhys immediately dropped the measuring cup and whirled on her. Mor didn’t look surprised, she didn’t even blink.

“Mor, I swear to god--” Mor crossed her arms and leaned back against the counter.

“What, Rhysand? What are you going to do?” Rhys clenched his hands and teeth. Lucien watched him as Mor spoke. “You won’t hit me, that’s for damn sure. Isn’t it, Rhysand?”

“Stop it, _Morrigan_ ,” Rhys said, staring at her. She closed her mouth, and Rhys smiled cruelly at her. “Hmm, not so fun now, is it?”

“Rhys, quit it,” Lucien said, and then both cousins’ eyes were on him. Mor’s had already been annoyingly soft, but Rhys’s only softened when he looked at Lucien. Rhys ran his hand over his face, and Mor was already leaving the room.

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” Rhys said. “I--” He blew out a breath. “My father calls me Rhysand.”

“Yeah, I know--” And he knew how Rhys hated it and hated his father. It was the first thing they had bonded over.

“But you don’t…” Rhys said, but his voice trailed off as--Lucien assumed--he realised that Lucien _did_ know. Lucien thought that idea scared Rhys a bit because his eyes flashed and he swallowed. “My mother told me he’s been gone a lot recently. She says it’s not business trips.” Rhys squeezed his eyes shut and let out a breath.

“He stopped going on so many business trips when I started college so that he could better prepare me to take over the company, anyways, but now...He comes home in the middle of the night if he comes home at all. He and my mother haven’t shared a bed in years, but--I’m worried for her and my sister.”

“They’ll both be fine, especially Amaris,” Lucien said, taking a step closer to Rhys and putting a hand on his arm. “She’s got your mom _and_ Cassian and Azriel looking out for her. They’ve both got Cassian and Azriel.” 

Rhys’s face brightened a little at that thought before Rhys pulled him into a hug and buried his face in Lucien’s shoulder. Rhys’s arms tightened around him when he began soothingly running his hands up and down Rhys’s back.

“Thank you,” Rhys mumbled into his shoulder, the vibrations echoing through Lucien’s body. Rhys still didn’t let go, but Lucien wouldn’t’ve minded if he never did.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly NSFW

Both Rhys and Lucien had reluctantly agreed to go clubbing with Mor. She’d been begging them for over a month now, and they figured it was time to give in to her pleas. Lucien would be over soon to make them dinner, which he had graciously offered to do.

Rhys loved when Lucien cooked for them. It hadn’t been awkward since that first time, the only slight slip was a few days ago when Rhys had been an asshole about his father. Rhys still found himself watching Lucien in the kitchen though. It was still fascinating.

And he was still attracted to him. Terrifyingly much. He debated with himself at least twice a day about telling Lucien, but he always came back to protecting his own feelings. And who knew if they would work anyway. Maybe it would be weird, but maybe it wouldn’t.

Ugh.

Rhys shook his head as he finished buttoning his shirt, leaving the top few buttons undone. He glanced in the mirror at himself. Yes, handsome as ever. Rhys ran a hand through his hair and winked at himself, throwing up finger guns, before exiting the room. Lucien would’ve called him vain.

Mor was on the couch in a sparkly red dress, stuffing her face with chips and trying to choose something to watch. Her heels were on the floor in front of her and her clutch sat on the couch next to her.

“You do know Lucien will be here any minute to make dinner, right?” Rhys said just as there was a knock at the door. Mor hid her bag of chips as Rhys went to open the door.

Lucien’s hair was down, and he was wearing jeans for once. Granted, they were nice, black jeans, but jeans all the same. And he looked good in them. Really good. Rhys was trying not to stare.

What he didn’t expect was for Lucien to be holding bags of In-N-Out. Rhys didn’t mind, of course, though Lucien had said he’d be _making_ them dinner. 

“I’m too lazy to cook anything right now, leave me be,” Lucien said as he walked past Rhys into the apartment. Mor perked up at the prospect of immediate food and followed Lucien into the kitchen.

Rhys quickly followed, and the three friends were soon seated at the kitchen table, eating burgers and fries. Lucien had only ever asked Rhys what he liked on his burger once, and since then had always gotten his order correct.

“So, Mor, what kind of lady are you looking for tonight?” Lucien asked, popping a fry into his mouth. Mor’s face flushed and she attempted to hide it with her hand, but she glared at Lucien, who only took a bite of his burger.

“Not sure.” Mor took a sip of her soda, not looking at either of them. Lucien snorted and Rhys shot him a confused look. Lucien shook his head and waved his hand.

“Blonde or brunette? I know you prefer brunettes, but I don’t know maybe you want to change it up,” Rhys added, looking back at Mor. Mor looked up and glared at Rhys.

“Oh, I dunno, maybe a redhead, but I guess that’s more your style, Rhys,” Mor bit back, and Lucien shot her a glare. Did she just--? She definitely did. Cauldron, of course she noticed. Rhys said nothing, only took a bite of his burger.

“Actually,” Mor began. “I won’t be looking for anyone tonight.” Rhys cocked his head to the side, but Lucien looked like he was trying to stop himself from stopping Mor from saying whatever she was about to say.

“Why not?” Rhys asked. Mor sighed and looked at Lucien, then back to Rhys.

“Because I have a girlfriend.” Rhys gaped and looked at Lucien, who looked to be grinding his teeth for whatever reason. “You’ll meet her tonight.”

\--------------

Apparently, Morrigan had no Cauldron-damned respect for anyone’s privacy. Yes, she’d kept Lucien’s secret for some time, but why blow a hole in the ship now? Especially when he’d kept _her secret_. Did she expect him to spill his secret now that she’d spilled hers?

But why did she want him to spill so badly? Lucien didn’t want to think about it as they waited in line to enter the club.

Rhys was standing beside him, his hands in his pockets. Mor was trying to flirt their way in but it didn’t seem to be working. Probably because she was holding hands with Pandora, her girlfriend. That was, until she whispered Mother knew what in the bouncer’s ear and he nodded. Mor gestured them forward and soon they were inside the club.

Lucien quite hated clubs if he was being honest. Too much grinding and sweat and stickiness. 

They got drinks at the bar before finding a booth that was much too large for only the four of them. It would have to do, seeing as any other seating was either taken or sticky with spilled drinks.

Mor disappeared into the crowd with Pandora and her mixer almost immediately. Unsurprising really, seeing as she was the one that dragged him and Rhys along in the first place. They probably wouldn’t see the pair for the rest of the night.

Rhys and Lucien nursed their beers for a while, conversation flowing between them as usual. They ordered a round of tequila shots from a passing waiter and downed them easily.

The room didn’t start spinning until they’d each done 2 more rounds by themselves and both dranken at least another bottle of beer. Lucien didn’t know why the both of them were drinking so much, but he didn’t care to dwell on it. 

Lucien didn’t think he’d remember much of this night at all.

“Hey Lucien, you wanna dance?” Rhys asked, pulling Lucien’s gaze away from the dancefloor and to violet eyes. Oh gods, he wanted to kiss Rhys so badly it hurt. He leaned forward to do so before remembering he’d been asked a question.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Lucien replied, and then he was being tugged by his hand out into the throng of people. 

Rhys stopped near the middle of the dance floor and rested his hands on Lucien’s hips. The room was swaying, and Lucien wrapped his arms around Rhys’s neck to steady himself. Oh dear, their bodies were almost touching.

The song wasn’t slow, but Rhys swayed them slowly side to side anyways. Rhys was a hopeless romantic--except this wasn’t a romance, no matter how much Lucien wanted it to be.

At some point, Rhys had tugged him closer, or Lucien had pulled Rhys closer, and their bodies were pressed together. Lucien could feel Rhys’s muscles through his shirt and he wished their shirts were gone.

Rhys’s warm hands skimmed under Lucien’s shirt only just a little. Lucien gasped softly, but he didn’t think Rhys heard him over the sound of the music. Lucien tangled his hands in Rhys’s soft black hair and pulled his own face back to look at Rhys’s.

Their breaths that smelled of alcohol and unspoken confessions were mingling. All Lucien would have to do was tilt his head up just a bit more and their lips would be touching. Rhys glanced down at Lucien’s lips and back up at his eyes.

Rhys leaned down past Lucien’s face to his neck and ran his nose up it, eliciting another soft gasp from Lucien. Rhys pressed a hesitant kiss to Lucien’s neck and he tugged on Rhys’s hair to encourage him.

Lucien thought he had to be dreaming as Rhys began biting and sucking at his neck. Lucien tilted his head to the side to give Rhys easier access. Oh fuck. Yes, those would probably leave bruises that Lucien would forget the story behind.

Rhys’s hands were still skimming along Lucien’s skin as Lucien turned his head and bit at Rhys’s ear, earning him a groan near his own ear. Lucien’s pants tightened (more than they already had) at that noise.

Lucien traced his fingers along the back of Rhys’s neck and over his shoulders and down to grasp his biceps. He thought he caught Mor’s wide eyes over Rhys’s shoulder, but he was distracted by Rhys’s damn hands.

“Have I ever mentioned that I find you extremely attractive?” Rhys breathed in Lucien’s ear causing him to dig his fingernails into Rhys’s arms at the shiver it sent through him.

He really did have to be fucking dreaming. This beautiful man that Lucien just so happened to be crushing on-- _his best friend_ \--could not possibly be telling him that right now. Could not possibly be kissing his neck right now. Could not possibly be moving his hands down to grab Lucien’s ass.

Not fucking possible.

_You’re drunk off your asses, you idiot_ , a voice in the back of his mind scolded. He ignored it.

“So you like men then, pretty boy?” Lucien said. It came out more breathy than he’d intended, and the hands on his ass squeezed. Lucien groaned.

“One man, clever fox, only one.” Lucien couldn’t see it, but he knew Rhys was grinning slyly as he kissed along Lucien’s jaw.

They continued on like that for minutes, hours, Lucien wasn’t sure, but their lips never touched once. Maybe it was too intimate for how much alcohol was coursing through their veins. It didn’t matter. Lucien was too drunk on Rhys’s touch and the excessive amount of alcohol he’d been drinking. He’d be throwing up in a toilet at some point tonight, but right now was not that point.

\----------------

Mor’s eyes were practically bulging out of her head at what she just saw. She thought she fucking imagined it, so she glanced back over at Lucien and Rhys to find that no, she hadn’t imagined it. Fucking hell.

Pandora gently touched her face and turned it back to her, still moving with the music. “Mor.”

“Rhys is-- oh my gods, it’s fucking happening, panda,” Mor stammered out, her hands brushing against Pandora’s waist lightly. 

“Mor,” Pandora sung, her voice going up at the beginning and back down at the end. She kissed Mor, her own hands running up and down Mor’s arms. Mor pulled away quickly, too distracted.

“What do I do? They’re probably so drunk they’ll forget! Oh no no no,” Mor babbled and Pandora sighed.

“You said you weren’t going to meddle, carebear,” Pandora murmured against her jaw, causing Mor to smile softly. She loved it when Pandora used that pet name.

“But, Dora, I can’t just let them forget--”

“ _Mor_.” Mor was cut off by Pandora’s soft lips, but this time she didn’t pull away. Not as Pandora started tugging her along gently. She let Pandora lead as usual.

“Where are we going?” Mor whispered against Pandora’s lips.

“Away,” Pandora answered simply, smiling. Mor hummed and her hands found their way into Pandora’s hair. Any thoughts of Rhys or Lucien emptied out of her head.

Three minutes later, Mor was being pressed up against the bathroom wall. The vibrations of the pounding music crawled over her skin. Pandora had taken her hand and led her in here when it became evident that she couldn’t just keep kissing her and walking backwards at the same time.

They were kissing again now though. 

Pandora’s heels made her tall enough that she didn’t have to stand on her tiptoes to kiss Mor, despite the fact that Mor was also wearing heels. Dora’s were taller than her and she had no idea how she walked in them. She guessed Pandora had a better sense of balance from doing gymnastics, and she was much less drunk than Mor at the moment.

Pandora’s hands were stroking slowly up and down Mor’s sides as she kissed Mor open mouthed. One of Mor’s hands was under Pandora’s chin, tilting it up, and the other was resting on Pandora’s shoulder, her thumb brushing across Pandora’s collarbone.

Mor liked to think she was in charge, but she was the one currently pinned against the wall. She certainly didn’t _mind_ when Pandora kissed her like this, and certainly wouldn’t mind if she decided to use her tongue on other parts of Mor’s body.

Mor’s hand slid down to grasp the back of Pandora’s neck, twirling her baby hairs around her fingers, as her lover began to place kisses along her jaw, down her neck. Pandora sucked at Mor’s skin, and Mor let out a soft moan. She felt Pandora smile against her neck.

Pandora pulled back as her hands started to slide under Mor’s dress and her kisses drew farther down. Mor pouted a bit. “Is this okay?” Pandora asked, and Mor stopped pouting. 

“Yes,” she breathed. Mor ran her hands down Pandora’s arms and guided them up further on her thighs. Pandora looked down at their hands and back up at Mor. She grinned and pressed their mouths together once more.

Pandora’s hands slid further up and pushed up the bottom of Mor’s dress. Mor squirmed a little and gasped softly into Pandora’s mouth. Pandora sucked Mor’s bottom lip into her mouth and teased it with her teeth.

“You’re very soft, Mor,” Pandora said, pressing their foreheads together as her hands moved higher on Mor’s thighs.

“Hmm, and you’re very demanding,” Mor breathed, leaning down to skim her nose along Pandora’s jaw. Pandora squeezed Mor’s thighs as her breath hitched.

“Would you like me to stop?” Pandora asked, breathing a bit unevenly and nudging Mor’s head to get her to meet her gaze.

“No,” Mor said, placing a kiss to the corner of Pandora’s mouth after taking a moment to comprehend where they were. “But maybe we could pause?” Mor ran her hands up and down Pandora’s arms. “And continue somewhere that isn’t a grimy club bathroom? Preferably tonight?” Mor’s arms rested loosely around Pandora’s neck.

“Sounds lovely.” Mor hummed and took Pandora’s hand after Pandora pulled Mor’s dress back down. Mor was pretty sure she was getting fucked tonight, and she was thrilled.

\---------------

Rhys groaned as the light of dawn shone into his bedroom. He wished his drunken self had closed the curtains.

His head was pounding and his mouth was dry, though it tasted of vomit. At least that explained why he couldn’t remember anything after working up the balls to ask Lucien to dance and Lucien saying yes after blatantly staring at Rhys’s lips. 

That moment replayed in his mind as he dragged himself out of bed and into the kitchen. There was no way he was going back to sleep without a glass of water.

When had he gotten home? And how? He’d probably thrown up when he had, maybe not in the apartment, but definitely once he got out of whatever vehicle had driven him home.

He wasn’t sure if Mor had come home, though if she had, she’d probably brought Pandora with her. Rhys hadn’t been able to gouge much about the girl besides the fact that he didn’t think he’d ever seen Mor look at someone the way she looked at Pandora.

Rhys grabbed a glass from one of the cabinets and filled it with water, then leaned back against the counter as he drank. That moment in the booth was still playing over and over again in his mind, as if he was trying to remember something beyond it. 

Had something happened between them? Rhys simultaneously hoped something had and something hadn’t. If it had, he didn’t remember and Lucien probably didn’t either. If it hadn’t, it hadn’t. Either option left them in the same place they’d been when the night began.

Rhys finished his glass of water and refilled it before leaning back against the counter once more. Gods, if Mor could do this, why couldn’t he? Her and Pandora seemed happy.

As if his thoughts had summoned her, Pandora entered the kitchen, rubbing her eyes gently, and wearing--were those Mor’s pajamas? Rhys was certain of it; he recognised them from nights when he stayed over at Mor’s parents’ house so she wouldn’t be alone. He wondered why she’d kept them. Then again, he’d also seen them on nights when they sat on the couch eating takeout. 

Pandora jolted slightly when she noticed Rhys, but quickly recovered and smirked at him.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” she asked, pausing where she stood and drumming her fingers on the countertop. She looked back down the hall.

“My--what?” Rhys blurted, but Pandora didn’t even blink.

“The redhead, a bit shorter than you, probably kinky,” Pandora said casually. Rhys swallowed and stared at his glass of water for a moment before looking back up at Pandora, who was looking at him questioningly.

“Did you--I--Lucien and I aren’t… together,” Rhys stuttered out. Pandora raised her brows and nodded slowly. It was a different answer than he would’ve given her two or three weeks ago. He probably would’ve gotten all defensive about it like he had that time with Mor.

“Right,” she said, dragging out the word. She didn’t believe him, and Rhys couldn’t exactly blame her. 

She didn’t say anything else as Rhys continued drinking his water, only asked where they kept glasses. She grabbed two and filled them with water before walking out of the kitchen, but not without pausing in the doorway and glancing back at Rhys, her head cocked to the side.

“What?” Rhys asked after quickly swallowing his sip of water. Pandora just shook her head and carried on down the hall to Mor’s room.


	14. Chapter 14

The next Friday arrived, without much consequence besides the fact that Lucien was finding it even more difficult than before to keep his hands off of Rhys. He spent more time in his office at work to avoid contact with him, despite the fact that all he wanted to do was grab Rhys’s face and kiss him senseless.

Lucien was standing in his closet trying to decide what to wear to this party. He didn’t want to be so formal that it felt like he’d just left work, but not so casual that he looked like he’d just woken up. It felt like he was back in high school and he was some awkward teenage boy. He hated it. 

Just then, his phone dinged with a text from Mor.

_Mor: Hey, I almost forgot to tell you to wear your swim trunks. Cress has a pool ;)_

A god send, truly.

_Mor: We’ll be there to pick you up in 15 xx_

Lucien pulled on his tight swim trunks that hugged his ass, ignoring that fact that Jesminda had gotten them for him, and pulled on tan coloured shorts over them. He was not going in just his swimming shorts for he would probably scandalise his poor cast.

_Pandora: idk if mor told you, but rhys looks hot tonight_

_Pandora: objectively ofc_

Lucien snorted. He and Pandora had bonded over their childhoods growing up in California the other day when they were having dinner at Mor’s apartment. Unlike Mor, she’d been straight with him about noticing his feelings for Rhys. That was the only straight thing about her. But it was refreshing honestly, having someone who didn’t pity you.

_Lucien: thanks for the intel, pipsqueak_

He put on a lightweight white button up afterwards, leaving the top few buttons undone and rolling up the sleeves. He left his hair unbound and combed his fingers through it a bit. Lucien stopped to look in the floor length mirror and grinned at himself. He looked good.

_Mor: We’re hereeeeee_

Lucien grabbed a pair of sunglasses and his key and strolled through his apartment into the elevator. It descended to the ground floor of the parking garage and Lucien stepped out, putting his sunglasses on the top of his head.

He spotted Mor’s car and walked over, opening the door and sliding into the backseat where Rhys was already sitting. Cauldron boil and fry him, Pandora was right: Rhys looked fucking gorgeous.

He wore dark, charcoal gray swim trunks and a black button up with the sleeves rolled up. His black hair fell just to his violet eyes that shimmered in amusement. If Lucien was dressed like the day, Rhys was dressed like the night.

“Call me pipsqueak again and I’ll crush you, ginger,” Pandora said over her shoulder, and Lucien laughed before turning his attention back to Rhys. Mor leaned over and kissed Pandora’s cheek before starting up the car.

“I thought Mor told you to wear swim trunks,” Rhys said as Mor began pulling away, causing Lucien to break his staring at Rhys’s tattoos that peaked out of his slightly unbuttoned shirt.

“I did, but they’re a secret for now, pretty boy,” Lucien replied casually. Pandora coughed, and Mor glanced back at him quickly. Lucien could’ve sworn she looked hopeful, excited even. He ignored it.

“Oh?” Rhys said, an eyebrow raised. Lucien winked and looked out the window. Rhys was in for a real treat. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out.

_Pandora: subtle_

Rhys shifted around a bit and Lucien glanced over to see him running a hand down his face and then through his hair. He seemed flustered, and Lucien entertained the idea that he was the reason. He hoped that was the case actually. 

_Lucien: yeah, you should try it sometime, small fry_

Pandora glared back at him, but he just winked and looked out the window.

\-----------------

Rhys had already done two rounds of tequila shots and they’d only been at Cresseida’s house for an hour. The house had less people than the backyard did seeing as most people had taken to the pool. 

Mor had immediately joined the pool people, stripping down to her bikini. Pandora had joined her a few moments later after getting drinks for her and Mor. The water came up hilariously high on her compared to Mor.

Rhys had his sights set on getting Lucien in the hot tub, but hadn’t decided how to broach the subject yet.

_Fuck it_ , he thought before he strolled over to his friend carrying a can of beer and sat down on the couch next to him. Lucien didn’t look surprised to see him.

“Alright, foxboy, so here’s the deal,” Rhys said, throwing his arm over Lucien’s shoulders. He twisted a piece of Lucien’s hair around his finger as Lucien looked him up and down. “Either you come and get in the hot tub with me, or I throw you in the pool. You get wet either way, it just depends on whether you want your actual clothes wet or not.” 

Lucien seemed to consider for a moment before he said, “Fine.” Well, that was easier than he expected. 

Lucien stood up and took off his shirt and shorts and...Cauldron damn him to hell, Lucien was practically wearing a speedo, the only difference being that his shorts came down to his mid-thigh. Rhys removed his own shirt, quick to avert his eyes from Lucien’s… everything.

“Come on then, pretty boy,” Lucien said, taking Rhys’s hand. Rhys set down his drink on one of the end tables and let Lucien lead him outside as he tried and failed at not staring at Lucien’s butt.  
\-------------

“Not to be gay or anything, but you look fucking hot,” Pandora said, fingering the strap of Mor’s swimsuit. Mor was holding her, but Pandora had her legs wrapped around Mor’s middle and Mor had no doubt that she was strong enough to hold herself up.

“Dora, you’re gay anyways,” Mor assured her. Pandora gasped and let go of the strap.

“Really?” Mor hummed her affirmation with a smile. “Good, because I am totally down to fuck you.” Mor laughed. Her girlfriend seldom got this drunk, and Mor was quite enjoying it. 

Something caught Pandora’s eye and she released Mor’s body before doggy paddling over to the edge of the pool and pointing to none other than Rhys and Lucien, sitting in the hot tub. “Hey, carebear, look.”

“What am I looking at, panda?” Mor said, her voice light and teasing. Pandora tried to stand on her feet, but her head went under before she reached the bottom, so she just held herself up using the pool edge. Mor swam up to Pandora’s side and Pandora leaned over to whisper to her.

“I’m like… 98% sure they wanna fuck.” Mor laughed again though Pandora was right.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I mean, look at them. That redheaded one is probably mentally fucking the dark-haired one already,” Pandora explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Mor looked around to see if anyone was listening in to Pandora’s drunk babbles. The only person nearby was Cresseida, but her eyes widened and she quickly swam away when she heard what Pandora said. That was only interesting if she went over to Rhys and Lucien afterwards.

“I don’t need that image of my cousin,” Mor said with a groan and Pandora snorted.

“Here, I’ll give you a different image,” Pandora said before turning to Mor and kissing her as she wrapped her legs back around Mor’s body. Mor smiled against Pandora’s lips and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. Cauldron, Pandora made her so happy.

\--------------

Lucien had no idea what he was doing, but he was doing it anyways. The hot tub was close to the size of a normal swimming pool, giving Lucien and Rhys the room to… not sit right next to each other. Lucien had sat himself approximately five feet away from Rhys. 

He was watching Rhys carefully as he spoke, studying his face, his tattoos, the rest of his muscular body. Rhys was fiddling with his family ring, twisting it around on his finger. He was nervous about something.

A moment later, a man Lucien didn’t recognize came over and handed Rhys an opened can of beer before slinking off somewhere else. Rhys was about to take a sip, but Lucien told him to stop. Rhys looked at him, confused.

“Don’t drink it,” Lucien said.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s open and he could’ve easily drugged you.” Rhys rolled his eyes.

“Lighten up, foxboy,” Rhys joked and raised the can to his lips, but Lucien was there in an instant, grabbing the can and tossing it into the yard. “Lucien, what the fuck?” Lucien braced his hands on the edge of the hot tub, and he thought he heard someone squeal over in the pool.

“I am _not_ going to let you get hurt,” he said firmly, staring down at Rhys. It was then that he realised how close they were. That he was standing between Rhys’s legs, caging him in. Rhys’s eyes were wide, and Lucien saw them flick down quickly. It would be so easy to just lean down and--

“Hi! Oh my goodness, I’m so glad you could make it, Lucien!” Cresseida said excitedly as she slid into the hot tub beside Rhys. Lucien uncaged Rhys and sat down to his left. He smiled blandly at Cresseida as if she hadn’t just interrupted what could’ve been a groundbreaking moment in him and Rhys’s relationship.

“I’m happy to be here,” Lucien said, avoiding Rhys’s gaze that lingered too long to be casual. Cresseida smiled back at him.

“This probably sounds silly, but I kind of look up to you,” Cresseida said, fiddling with a piece of her hair. Lucien chuckled. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rhys blink and turn to Cresseida.

“I’m really not idol material,” Lucien said. “I’m no one special.” Rhys looked back at him and frowned, but said nothing.

“Oh, now that’s just not true,” Cresseida assured him and continued babbling on about his achievements, but eventually conversation turned towards Rhys. Lucien felt like he could finally breathe. Her praise was suffocating.

He didn’t need or want a list of things he’d done right in his life when he’d done so many other things wrong.

Lucien went and got them some more drinks. He lingered in the kitchen and downed a few shots of tequila before returning to the hot tub with three unopened bottles of beer. The tequila was beginning to hit him now as Cresseida asked Rhys a question. 

“Can I kiss you?” she asked, twirling a piece of her silvery hair and batting her eyelashes at Rhys. Lucien resisted the urge to hurl, instead opting to sip from his beer. What did she really want? Probably more than just a kiss.

“What are you willing to give me in return?” Rhys said, propping his elbow on the edge of the pool, while his other hand skimmed Cresseida’s arm. She smiled softly at Rhys and reached out her hand to trace Rhys’s tattoo. 

How was it so easy for her? Rhys had never let him get that close that easily, that quickly. Hell, Rhys hadn’t once presented himself in a manner that led Lucien to believe he wanted to be kissed. Except maybe that one time, but even then--Rhys had kissed him, unexpectedly, while drunk.

And now this girl slides into the pool beside him and flirts her way to his dick in less than an hour? How was that possible? Granted, Rhys was also drunk now, but--

“Hmm, In-N-Out for a whole week sound nice?” Cresseida offered, and Rhys grinned. That boy could not turn down that damn restaurant and Lucien wanted to curse Cresseida for knowing that.

“Deal.” Lucien watched as Rhys leaned in and gently pressed his lips to hers. He thought someone shouted ‘No!’ before being shushed by someone else. 

Her hand slithered up to tangle in Rhys’s hair, and Lucien chugged down the rest of his beer. He thought he heard someone call his name, but he ignored it, his focus on Rhys kissing someone that wasn’t him.

But then, just like that, it was over and Rhys was pulling away with his cocky smirk. Gods, he got so fucking cocky when he was drunk. Lucien decided to take a chance.

“If I offer you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?” Lucien asked, his words slurring a bit. Rhys turned around quickly as if he’d forgotten Lucien was there. 

His face was lined with distress before he leaned towards Lucien and brushed his lips across his cheek. Lucien’s cheek burned where Rhys’s lips had touched. Rhys lingered to whisper in Lucien’s ear, his hand now resting on Lucien’s thigh.

“I’m sorry about earlier, I should’ve listened to you,” Rhys whispered, his hot breath caressing Lucien’s ear. Lucien was about to whisper something back when he met her eyes. Not Cresseida’s, no. A pair of eyes he hadn’t seen in months, hadn’t wanted to see.

Jesminda.


	15. Chapter 15

This could not be happening. Why was she here? What did she want?

She said she had no plans to return to the city of angels and yet here she was. Lucien had moved past this, past _her_.

Jesminda.

Lucien had frozen when he’d seen her, but now he was regretfully pushing away from Rhys and getting out of the hot tub. Rhys called his name, but Lucien didn’t look back at him. Fuck, he had to be so confused.

“What are you doing here?” Lucien demanded as he reached her, water dripping off him and beginning to pool around his feet. Jes. The woman who had left him. Lucien’s mind was swimming like the people in the pool to his right.

“I’m here to see you, of course,” she replied, calm as ever. She was ice where he was fire.

“No, I mean what are you doing _here_ ,” Lucien clarified, suddenly feeling a lot less drunk. He was happy, or as close to happy as he could be while still keeping his feelings inside, and now this?

“The woman at the studio said you’d probably be here,” Jesminda said, fidgeting with her sweater. Lucien pushed back his hair with an agitated sigh. “You weren’t at our apartment, so I--”

“Hold it right there,” Lucien said, and Jes closed her mouth. “That apartment stopped being ours the moment you walked out that day. It’s mine and no one else’s.” 

There was splashing behind him and Jesminda looked over his shoulder; Lucien followed her gaze and found Rhys walking towards them. Lucien’s heart clenched at the concern and confusion on his face, but he turned back to Jesminda.

“What do you want?” Lucien asked sternly. 

“I want to apologise.” Lucien scoffed and Jesminda opened her mouth to continue, but closed it when she looked just over Lucien’s shoulder.

“Lucien, who’s this?” Rhys asked roughly. Was that jealousy in his voice? No, it couldn’t be. Lucien looked up at him then back to Jes.

“This is Jesminda,” Lucien said, gesturing to her. He felt Rhys’s eyes flick to him at mention of her name. Rhys knew all about what had happened. “Jesminda, this is Rhys.” Jes held out her hand with a sliver of a smile.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said. Rhys didn’t respond, or shake her hand. She let it drop, taking a step backwards and turning back to Lucien, her face hardening. “Your apartment is no one’s but yours?” Lucien clenched his jaw for a moment before he turned away from Jesminda to face Rhys. Rhys looked angry, and Lucien honestly couldn’t blame him.

“Rhys, could you leave us alone for a minute?” Lucien asked softly, longing to reach out to him. But he didn’t. Because if he did, Jes would never believe that there was nothing going on between them. The softness of his voice probably broke the façade anyway. “Please?”

Rhys dragged his eyes to Lucien’s and nodded slowly. Lucien gave him a weak smile before turning again to Jesminda. She watched Rhys go, her mouth a thin line.

“Rhys is my friend. My best friend, yes, but nothing more,” Lucien said when she finally looked at him once more. Jesminda huffed a bitter laugh and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I know how you look at the people you love, Lucien,” Jes began. “I know because you used to look at me the way you look at him.” Her mouth twisted into a pity-filled frown. “And the sad thing is, he looks at you the same way. He hides it well, yes, but it’s there.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lucien said, but his voice betrayed him, raising a few octaves higher than normal. She couldn’t be right.

“Cauldron, Lucien, you can’t possibly be this thick.” Lucien averted his eyes from hers as she continued. She gestured with one arm to where he assumed Rhys was standing, waiting. “The poor boy is hopelessly in love with you and you’re stringing him along--”

“No, you don’t get to walk back in here and tell me how to live my life, not after you _left me_.” Jesminda flinched. “You left, Jes! You did, not me.” Lucien distantly felt the eyes of multiple people shifting to them, but he ignored it.

“So don’t _act_ like you care, don’t _act_ like I matter to you, because if I did, then we would be home right now and I would be--” Lucien choked on a sob. No, no, no, not here, not with everyone around.

Someone was gripping his shoulders with wet hands, but his vision was so blurred that he couldn’t see who. He’d kept all of this hidden inside for so long…

“Lucien, Lucien, breathe,” Mor said softly. “Lucien, look at me, Lucien.” 

She kept saying his name, but all he could see was that day so many months ago when he’d walked into his apartment to find it empty. He hadn’t let himself break down over it. It made him feel weak like his father said he was.

Mor hugged him to her. Cauldron, he hated feeling weak, but Mor’s arms were comforting.

“Leave before I have my brother throw you out.” That was Cresseida. Her voice was more stern than he’d ever heard it. Lucien didn’t think her brother was even in town. 

He distantly heard Jesminda trying to speak to him, but he ignored her as he cried into Mor’s shoulder. His father would yell at him--maybe worse, probably worse--if he saw him crying, even now.

Mor didn’t let go of him until his tears subsided. It seemed he’d cried out all of the alcohol and was left feeling empty. He dug his palms into his eyes and breathed deeply. He finally opened his eyes and found Rhys--not Mor--standing in front of him.

“What happened?” Rhys asked quietly. 

Lucien saw Rhys’s fingers twitch like he was going to reach out, but couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t. He scanned Rhys’s face for any sign of the look Jesminda had mentioned, but found nothing, just the concern of a good friend. He wasn’t very good at reading people.

“She showed up trying to apologise,” Lucien said, clearing his throat. There was no need to tell Rhys what else she had said. Rhys frowned and glanced over at the house. Lucien followed his gaze as Cresseida came back out of the house. 

She stared at Rhys, who Lucien didn’t think was even looking at her. She must’ve noticed Lucien’s attention and met his gaze, her eyes slightly wide, before she swallowed and walked away.

Lucien turned back to look at Rhys, still a bit dazed from the events of the evening. “Hey, Rhys?” Lucien tugged Rhys’s arm softly to get him to look at him. “Can I stay round yours tonight?”

“Of course,” Rhys said immediately, his eyes softening as he looked at Lucien. Was that the look? 

_Stop looking for something you won’t find_ , Lucien mentally chided himself.

“Pandora is drunk off her ass, and Mor doesn’t trust her to get home safe, so, unfortunately, the both of them will be joining us.” Unfortunately? What was that supposed to mean? Lucien shook off the thoughts as Rhys threw his arm over Lucien’s shoulder. “Let’s go find them and our clothes so we can leave.”

Lucien resisted the urge to sigh in relief that nothing had changed between them. Though maybe nothing wasn’t such a good thing anymore.

\-------------------------

Lucien barely spoke the whole taxi ride home, and Rhys was worried. He’d never seen Lucien break down like that, and he didn’t want to see him break down like that ever again. It made his heart ache.

Upon entering his and Mor’s apartment, Rhys watched as Lucien went to flop on the couch. Mor glanced back at them once before guiding Pandora as smoothly as possible down the hall to her bedroom. Pandora was babbling and trying to get Mor to dance with her. Rhys stopped Lucien before he could lie down.

“Nuhuh, you’re not sleeping on the couch. You can sleep in my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” Lucien frowned at him. “I can lend you some dry clothes as well,” Rhys added. Lucien seemed to be battling himself mentally.

Eventually he said, “Okay, but you’re not sleeping on the couch either, we’ll just share.” Rhys wanted to chase away the butterflies in his stomach. There was nothing suggestive in Lucien’s tone, he sounded exhausted actually, but it didn’t seem to matter. The alcohol coursing through his veins didn’t help either.

Rhys only nodded and started down the hall to his room, Lucien following after him. When they reached his room, Rhys rifled through his dresser, pulling out a pair of boxers as well as a thick purple sweater and sweatpants. The clothes would be at least a size too big, but hopefully Lucien wouldn’t mind.

Lucien was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room when Rhys offered him the pile of clothes. It was odd seeing him so uncomfortable. Lucien thanked him quietly, tucked a piece of hair behind his own ear, and went down the hall to the bathroom to change.

As soon as he did, Pandora came barging out of Mor’s room, her hand covering her mouth. Mor followed after her and apologised to Lucien as they entered the bathroom. Lucien cringed and turned back.

“I won’t look,” Rhys assured Lucien as he entered the room again. He’d meant it lightheartedly, but Lucien didn’t react that way. In fact, he didn’t react much at all. He just nodded and started taking off his shirt.

Rhys turned away and changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt. He didn’t usually sleep with a shirt on, but he didn’t want Mor to… think anything had happened if she walked in in the morning. Not that anything was going to happen, but in case Mor thought it had. Which it wouldn’t.

Lucien finished a moment later, mumbling to inform him. Rhys turned to him and found him looking tired and sad, his arms wrapped around himself. Rhys had been right, the clothes were too big on him. They made him look small.

Rhys’s heart ached and he walked forward before pulling Lucien into a hug. He smelled like a crackling fire and an autumn breeze, but also Rhys’s citrus and sea from the clothes he’d borrowed.

Rhys slowly ran his hands up and down Lucien’s back, and Lucien, surprisingly, didn’t stop him.

Eventually, Rhys pulled back, but Lucien’s hands lingered on his waist a moment before he pulled them back abruptly and wiped away a tear that Rhys hadn’t realised had fallen. Lucien avoided his eyes as he went to the other side of the bed and laid down on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

Rhys laid down on the other side, looking up at the ceiling as well. Their shoulders almost touched, but didn’t. Rhys was tempted to roll over and hold Lucien close. He hated that Lucien was feeling so horrible.

Just when Rhys thought he had fallen asleep, Lucien whispered, “This wasn’t how I wanted tonight to go.” _Tell me about it._

“What, laying next to your best friend in his bed?” Rhys asked. He meant for it to sound casual, smooth, but it came out a bit strained. Rhys didn’t know what he wanted Lucien’s answer to be. How _had_ he wanted tonight to go?

“No-- yes, I mean--” Lucien huffed in exasperation. “I mean that I wasn’t expecting Jes to show up.” Rhys couldn’t tell if the way he said her name was with love or anger. Rhys hoped it was anger. 

“I didn’t want to… break down like that.” He ran a hand over his mouth, his other resting on his abdomen. “Vulnerability is not something I like to show people.” Rhys nodded. He didn’t say that he didn’t want to be laying in bed next to Rhys. 

_That doesn’t mean he wanted to be_ , Rhys told himself.

“You kissed Cresseida,” Lucien said after some time of silence, glancing over at him. Rhys thought he heard jealousy in his voice, but that didn’t make sense.

“She offered In-N-Out,” Rhys said simply, and Lucien blew out a breath, his eyes returning to the ceiling. Rhys wanted to tell them that he wished he hadn’t done it, that it didn’t mean anything.

Rhys could tell Lucien was about to say something, but Rhys was fading quickly from the alcohol. “Tell me in the morning, otherwise I probably won’t remember.” Lucien didn’t respond, and Rhys rolled onto his side, facing away from him.

The alcohol must’ve been playing tricks on his mind because just before the world fell away he could’ve sworn he heard Lucien murmur, “I think I’m in love with you, Rhys Spera.”  
\------------------

Lucien prayed to the Mother that Rhys hadn’t heard him say the words that had just spilled out of him mouth. That he would forget it ever happened when he woke up in the morning.

He hadn’t meant to say them, but they were true, and it was terrifying. The only other person he’d been in love with was Jesminda and he knew how that turned out.

Lucien’s brain went back to what Jesminda had said, though. 

_The poor boy is hopelessly in love with you, and you’re stringing him along--_

Maybe it wouldn’t be completely awful if Rhys had heard him, if he remembered… Lucien shook off the thoughts.

Rhys’s clothes smelled heavily like him and there was no way in hell Lucien was letting him have them back. He would have his nose buried in the soft sweater to take in the scent, but he didn’t need to when Rhys was laying a foot and a half away from him. The smell of him was alarmingly comforting.

Now he was staring at the back of Rhys’s head trying not to reach out and run his fingers through his hair. He thought he was saved when Rhys rolled over to face him, but now all he wanted to do was trace the lines of his perfect face.

His lashes brushed against his cheeks and his still-damp hair fell across his forehead in clumps, the ends curling up a bit. Lucien reached out to push the hair back, but he paused, his hand hovering in the space between them. He could feel Rhys’s heavy, relaxed breathing against his skin.

Lucien swallowed as he gently brushed Rhys’s hair back. Then he let his fingers wander, softly tracing them along the arch of his brow, across his cheekbone, over his cupid’s bow, and down along his jaw. He then lightly placed his hand on the side of Rhys’s face, and Rhys’s head shifted slightly into his touch.

Terrified Rhys would wake up, Lucien pulled back his hand, letting it rest in the space between them. He closed his eyes in an attempt to look away from Rhys, but he dreamed of the violet-eyed boy anyway.


	16. Chapter 16

_Rhys stumbled into a bedroom,--his bedroom, he thought--Lucien at his side. Were they holding hands? Maybe._

_Rhys’s vision wavered and then he was being pushed down on the bed and Lucien was climbing over him. He was on his back and then Lucien was pressing kisses to Rhys’s torso as he slowly unbuttoned Rhys’s shirt. Rhys didn’t know why he was wearing a button-up, but he was. And he wasn’t in his own bed, his own room, not anymore. This was Lucien’s._

_He writhed around slightly and tried to keep his breathing steady. Especially as Lucien finished unbuttoning his shirt and ran his hands and lips back up Rhys’s chest. Rhys’s breathing hitched as Lucien lowered himself, now straddling Rhys’s lap and pushing at Rhys’s shirt._

_Rhys sat up a bit so Lucien could push his shirt down his arms, going deliberately slowly so as to feel Rhys’s muscles. When Rhys’s shirt was off, Lucien threw it across the room and wrapped his arms tightly around Rhys’s neck. And then they were kissing, and Rhys didn’t think he’d ever felt something so nice._

_Rhys didn’t know how long they kissed for, but at some point Lucien ground their hips together and Rhys moaned, grasping at Lucien’s shoulders._

Rhys jolted upright in bed--his bed again--his breathing heavy. He was sweating too, and alone, as usual. His dream kept replaying in his head, again and again. The feeling of Lucien’s lips on his, the way Lucien had bitten at his lip, the softness of Lucien’s hair as Rhys had run his fingers through it. 

Shit.

Rhys practically sprinted out of his room a moment later and down the hall to the bathroom to take a very, very cold shower.

\-----------------

Rhys sat at the kitchen table, scrolling on social media. He was so overwhelmed with notifications these days, so he’d turned them off just to give himself some semblance of peace. Especially from the public’s growing suspicion of something going on between him and Lucien, which it wasn’t.

They were friends. Best friends, to be sure, but that’s all it was. Rhys would like to keep it that way for as long as he could. He had spent a lot of time thinking about it the past few days and he had decided he wasn’t in the mood to fuck things up. Decided whatever he thought he was feeling was just a weird, passing thing he was experiencing.

Which is why he was desperately trying to distract himself from his dream last night, and the memories that dream had brought up. It wasn’t working.

Rhys hadn’t seen Lucien in a few days. He’d been busy at work and so Rhys had found himself spending time with Mor and/or Pandora when he wasn’t having his daily, at least for this week, lunch dates at In-N-Out with Cresseida. 

They weren’t technically dates, of course, just the product of their bargain, but it’s not like Rhys had anywhere better to be. In fact, Rhys quite enjoyed hanging out with Cresseida. She was kind, if not a bit shy at times, and Rhys was pretty sure she had a crush on him. It was cute really.

Rhys’s phone chimed with a message from her, confirming what time they were meeting today. They were meant to meet in a little less than an hour, but Rhys was bored and asked if they could meet any sooner. Cress eagerly replied with: _Of course! How about in half an hour?_

Rhys agreed despite the fact that it meant he still had to sit here for fifteen minutes before even beginning his walk. Oh well, he wasn’t going to rush her.

\--------------

It was past noon and Morrigan was still laying in bed, halfway on top of Pandora. Her girlfriend’s fingers were idly running through her hair as reruns of House played on the TV. Mor would squeeze her eyes shut and turn her head into Pandora’s chest whenever they used needles on the patients. It freaked her out.

This time when it happened, Mor decided to place a light kiss between Pandora’s breasts. And another, a bit above, and another and another until she reached Pandora’s lips. She pulled away for a moment, lifting herself up a bit so she could see Pandora’s face.

Her lover was smiling lazily up at her. “Hi, carebear,” she said, reaching up to push a piece of Mor’s hair behind her ear. She cupped Mor’s face and leaned up to seal their lips again. Mor melted against her. For a moment she thought they’d stay like that for once, but then Pandora rolled over on top of Mor.

Mor huffed a laugh against Pandora’s lips, intentionally opening her mouth for Pandora’s tongue to slide in. She had asked Pandora why she always made sure she was on top, and her girlfriend had just said she enjoyed it, but it almost seemed compulsive at times. Mor didn’t push her about it; she’d talk about it if she was comfortable.

Mor pinched Pandora’s waist playfully and she squirmed around a little before biting Mor’s lip. Mor whined softly and Pandora pulled away.

“Shhh,” she said quickly, putting a finger to Mor’s lips. Mor pouted, but Pandora was kissing her again soon enough. Mor wrapped a leg around the back of Pandora’s and moved her hands up from Pandora’s lower back, pushing up her shirt as she did.

But then Mor’s stomach growled, and Pandora pressed their foreheads together with a soft laugh. Mor frowned at her traitorous tummy. 

“Hungry?” Pandora teased, pressing a kiss to Mor’s jaw.

“For you,” Mor said, nudging Pandora’s head with her chin. Her girlfriend smirked against her jaw, then pulled away with a hum.

“I’m making you breakfast.” With that, she pecked Mor’s lips quickly before sliding off the bed. Despite her whining, Mor made no effort to catch her lover as she slipped into the hallway.

Instead, she rolled onto her stomach with a contented sigh, grabbing and holding a pillow to her chest. 

“You’re like a lazy cat,” Pandora said when Mor entered the kitchen ten minutes later. She was standing at the stove, cooking.

“I have to agree,” Mor replied as she wrapped her arms around Pandora’s waist and rested her head on her shoulder. Pandora tried to shrug her off.

“I’m trying to make you food and you’re distracting me,” Pandora said as she moved around the eggs in the pan.

“I never said I was hungry for _food_ ,” Mor said, trying to play innocent as she pressed a kiss behind Pandora’s ear. Pandora turned her head to look at Mor, her eyes amused.

“Ah, but your stomach said otherwise.” She reached up and tapped Mor’s cheek. Mor stuck out her tongue, but pulled away from Pandora and pushed herself up onto the countertop beside the stove.

“Now I can see your pretty face,” Mor whispered like she was telling a secret.

Pandora blushed slightly, but said, “And I can see that you neglected to put on clothes.” Mor looked down at herself and then back up at Pandora, tilting her head to the side.

“Well, I put this on,” Mor said, fingering the strap of her bra. Pandora’s eyes flicked to her chest then swiftly back down at the eggs, which were almost done.

Pandora turned off the stove a few moments later and moved to reach for the plates, but the cabinet was next to Mor’s head and Mor caught her around the waist. Mor grinned at the exasperated look on her girlfriend’s face before she sealed their lips in a kiss.

Mor felt Pandora melt into her slightly, felt the other girl’s hands resting on her thighs. She wrapped her arms around Pandora’s neck in an attempt to deepen the kiss, but Pandora pulled back.

“The eggs are getting cold,” she said, miraculously containing her composure, though her eyes were glued to Mor’s lips.

“I guess we’ll just have to make this quick then, won’t we?” Mor said, leaning back on her hands.

“I guess we will,” Pandora murmured.

\----------------

Rhys was swirling around one of his fries in his ketchup as he looked out the window. Cresseida was talking to him, but he wasn’t listening. He felt slightly guilty about it, but his mind was on Lucien. 

He didn’t know what to do. Maybe it was all in his head. Part of him hoped it was. So much for trying to forget about it...for deciding not to mess things up.

“Rhys?” Rhys blinked and looked at Cresseida, his eyebrows raised in question. “Are you alright?” Cresseida placed her hand lightly on his wrist, and his eyes flicked to it quickly and back to her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Rhys said, forcing a smile as he tried to subtly pull his hand away to grab his milkshake. He took a sip and leaned back in his seat. Cresseida awkwardly pulled her hand back and fiddled with her necklace a bit. She glanced around, her highlight flashing in the sunlight as she did so.

“I have something to ask you,” she said, leaning forward and resting her forearms on the table gently. Rhys gestured for her to go on, and Cress tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Well, I was wondering if you’d want to go out to dinner sometime? Or to a movie, or something.” 

The cold of Rhys’s milkshake felt suddenly colder in his hand. 

She was asking him out, right? Like on a date, a real one. Of course she was. He was such an idiot. But did he even want to go out with her? Sure, lunch was fun and all, but he and Cress were just friends.

Then again… She was nice, and she was beautiful. And she was nothing like Lucien. It would be easy. He’d be an idiot to say no. Maybe it would help him get out of whatever funk he was in.

“Sure,” Rhys said, and Cresseida beamed. No, this wouldn’t be so bad at all.

\----------------

Lucien was quite bored, if he was being honest. Work had been boring without Rhys to distract him from what he really needed to be doing. It also meant he had to deal with Tamlin more often, which is what he was on his way to do.

Amren wanted to give Tamlin another movie to direct before he got restless, though it was already too late, really. From what Lucien had gauged, Tamlin rarely spent time in his office, or even at the studio at all. Lucien couldn’t entirely blame him. If he didn’t have anything to do, he surely wouldn’t come to work for the entire day.

Lucien stopped in front of Tamlin’s office and raised his hand to knock. For once, there was actually the sound of movement after he rapted his fingers against the door. Tamlin coughed and told him to come in a few moments later.

Lucien almost cringed when he opened the door to find that Tamlin’s office stank of sex and saw both Tamlin and his assistant, Ianthe, looking disheveled. She was sitting in the chair that any other visitor would sit in, and he was in his monstrous chair on the other side of the desk.

“What do you want?” Tamlin ground out. Lucien looked back and forth between Tamlin and Ianthe, his eyes narrowed.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Lucien said, raising an eyebrow. Tamlin shifted around uncomfortably in his seat, and Ianthe tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked down slightly.

“We broke up,” Tamlin said, and Lucien almost smiled. “What do you want?”

“Amren would like to speak to you about a new movie,” Lucien said. “If you have time for that, of course.” Lucien glanced at Ianthe, who shifted around in her seat. Tamlin scowled.

“When?” Lucien glanced down at his watch.

“Ten minutes? Fifteen tops,” Lucien said. “Good luck. Nice seeing you, Ianthe.” Tamlin bared his teeth, and Lucien grinned sharply before exiting the room. It was far too easy to get him worked up.

Lucien didn’t speak to anyone as he made his way back to his office. His coworkers were nothing more than acquaintances, and not ones that he spoke to outside of meetings or emails about work.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like them,--well, some of them he didn’t--, he just didn’t think it was necessary to make any effort to make friends. He didn’t want to muddle his social and work lives, not that he’d even had a social life until some months ago.

At least now he wasn’t completely alone in life, now that he had Pandora and Mor and Rhys.

Gods, Rhys.

Lucien was beginning to think that Rhys might be avoiding him because he’d heard what Lucien had said that night of the party. The thought terrified and haunted him to no end. He could only hope he hadn’t lost his best friend.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. For real, friends. You've been warned.

Lucien still hadn’t seen Rhys much in the past couple of weeks. They’d only hung out a couple of times as opposed to hanging out almost daily in months prior. He had no idea what was up. 

He’d seen Morrigan more often than Rhys, who claimed to not have seen him much either. They had planned to go to the beach a few days ago, and Rhys hadn’t shown. Mor had given him a shoddy excuse for Rhys’s absence. For all that she was good at reading other people, she forgot how poorly she herself lied. 

She’d also given him more than a few guilty and pitiful looks over the past few weeks. Mother knew why. 

Lucien was pondering all of this when a knock came from the door. 

“Who is it?” Lucien asked, removing the end of his pen from his mouth. The door cracked open and there Rhys was. “Rhys, you know you don’t have to knock.”

Lucien propped his feet up on his desk, crossing his ankles. He twirled his pen between his fingers as Rhys walked into his office.

“What is it, pretty boy?” Lucien said, and Rhys clenched and unclenched his fists, a muscle feathering in his jaw. Odd. 

“I need to tell you something,” Rhys said, stopping in front of Lucien’s desk, but not taking a seat. Lucien gestured for him to continue. Rhys swallowed and fiddled with the Golden Globe on Lucien’s desk. “I’m, um, dating Cresseida, have been for a couple weeks, actually.” 

Did Lucien just hear him correctly?

“Oh?” Lucien stopped twirling his pen and instead gripped it in his hand. 

“Yeah, um, sorry I missed going to the beach the other day, we were going out to dinner.” That wasn’t the only plan he’d dipped out on, seemingly for Cresseida. 

Lucien tried not to let his anger show. Not just at Rhys, but at Mor for knowing and not telling him. Maybe it wasn’t her place to tell and maybe Lucien had no right to be so angry, but… 

“No need to explain yourself to me, Rhys.” He was going to call him pretty boy again just to make him uncomfortable, but he didn’t. 

“I know,” Rhys said. There was a pause before he spoke again. “I’ve, um, I’ve got to go run an errand.” Liar. Lucien waved his hand in dismissal, and Rhys hesitated before he turned and walked towards the door. 

“You could’ve just invited her, you know,” Lucien said as Rhys grabbed the door handle. 

Rhys turned back and gave Lucien a look that he thought said, “No, I couldn’t have,” before he turned and left Lucien alone in his office. 

———-

Rhys didn’t remember most of what had happened that night at the party, at least not after Jesminda had shown up. He remembered getting in bed beside Lucien and falling asleep, but he didn’t remember anything they talked about, though he knew they had talked about something. He tried not to dwell on it.

And he knew Lucien hadn’t told Rhys something in the morning that he was going to say that night. Rhys had tried not to let it get to him, but it hadn’t worked. Neither did trying to forget that dream a couple weeks ago. Or trying to forget anything relating to Lucien.

He hadn’t originally planned on dating Cresseida. It was never even a possibility that crossed his mind until that day.

Whatever had happened that night at the party had had some kind of effect on him, and he couldn’t even look at Lucien without wanting to press their damn lips together. It was messing with his head.

And Lucien was his best friend, and he wasn’t going to fuck that up, even if there was a chance he wouldn’t fuck it up… He didn’t like the odds. 

So he was dating Cresseida. 

She was sweet and kind and she made him laugh. Being with her was easy. Much easier than anything with Lucien would be. He was content.

Rhys genuinely didn’t know how Lucien hadn’t picked up on it before. And even still, Rhys had told Mor to tell him. He should’ve known already, but he didn’t seem to, so Rhys had taken the task onto himself as he should’ve from the beginning. 

He just hadn’t thought it would be so gods-damn difficult. 

Lucien calling him pretty boy had set him on edge. Rhys had wanted to cross the room and kiss him soundly, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t. He had a girlfriend now. 

He had distracted himself with Lucien’s golden globe to keep from looking Lucien in the eye as he spoke. Lucien had been casual about it, and acted like he didn’t care. Maybe he didn’t. Rhys forced himself to believe that was the case. The alternative made his stomach churn.

“You alright?” Cresseida said, gently squeezing the hand interlaced with hers as they walked down the street.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” Rhys said, smiling at her. She smiled back and swung their arms back and forth. 

Cress was surprising him for their date tonight, but she’d told him to dress casual. He knew they were getting something to eat first, but after that, Rhys didn’t have a clue. All he knew was that he would have a good time.

\-----------------

Tamlin had somehow ended up at a party. Ianthe was sitting on his lap, her arm across his shoulders, as he played cards. He didn’t do a lot of gambling, but he thought he might try it out, just for fun. He was pretty good at it, too, but maybe that was just because Ianthe was whispering what to play in his ear. 

He won a round of whatever game it was they were playing, and Ianthe led him over to a corner to ‘celebrate’, is what she said. She pulled out a little bag with white powder in it and dumped some out onto the table in front of them.

“Do you have your card with you?” she asked, biting her lip a bit.

“Ianthe, I don’t do drugs,” Tamlin said with a frown. She pouted.

“It’s just a bit of fun, Tam,” Ianthe said, leaning closer and running her hand down his chest. “C’mon…”

“Just this once,” Tamlin conceded before reaching for his wallet.

“Oh, goodie.” She eagerly took his card when he offered it to her and shifted around the powder into a line. When she was done she handed it back to him. “Keep it nearby, I’ll need it for me too. You first.”

“I don’t know how to do it,” Tamlin admitted, and Ianthe giggled.

“It’s not that difficult, Tammy. You’ve just got to close one nostril and then sniff it as you move down the line.” Tamlin did as she said and didn’t immediately feel anything. “Give it a minute, doll, you’ve still got that card? I need it.” Tamlin handed her the card, and she lined up the cocaine for herself.

Everything suddenly felt heightened: the sound of the music, the feel of Ianthe’s lips as she kissed him, of her hands as she touched him. Maybe this wasn’t so bad.  
\----------------

Lucien was trying to throw himself into his work. Most employees had gone home for the day and while he knew Amren was still up in her tower, he felt like he was alone at the studio. Granted, Andras was down the hall, and would be until Lucien told him to go.

He had originally planned on drinking his sorrows away again, but he quickly realised it would prove futile, plus he was almost out of scotch from his last moment of weakness. One that also had to do with Rhys.

The sun was going down, but he was still typing away at his computer. At some point, his eyes drifted to the picture of him and Rhys that sat on his desk. It was the one that teenage girl had taken at the Grove.

They were both smiling like idiots at at each other and Lucien was in the middle of saying something. Rhys’ arm was thrown over Lucien’s shoulders and his violet eyes were twinkling like they did when he was happy or amused. 

If he were someone who didn’t know any better, he might say they looked to be in love. But he wasn’t that person. He knew much much better.

Gods, he’d been so stupid to think Rhys would actually want to be with him. And now all he had was built up sexual tension and stress and nothing he could do to sedate it. Unless he found some random person at a bar, but Lucien really did not feel like doing that.

He was still staring at the photograph when another knock came from the door.

“Come in,” Lucien said, leaning back in his chair. Andras. Lucien had an idea. “Could you close the door?” Andras did so and walked forward a few steps.

“I wanted to ask if I could go home, Mr. Vanserra,” Andras said, standing very awkwardly in the middle of the office. He rarely asked to leave before Lucien, maybe Lucien should just leave him be.

“You have someone to get home to?” Lucien asked. If he did, that made this all much more complicated, and Lucien didn’t want that.

“No, Mr. Vanserra, it’s just getting late is all.” Good. Lucien drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair.

“Andras, are you into men?” Andras coughed in surprise and ran a hand through his brown hair.

“Um, yes, why--”

Lucien stood from his chair, strode across the room to Andras, and muttered, “Good,” before he gripped the front of Andras’ shirt and crashed their lips together. Lucien relished in the gasp he received against his lips. 

Lucien pushed his tongue into Andras’ mouth and his back against the wall and began unbuttoning his shirt. That was when Andras finally began responding and kissed him back, his hands grasping Lucien’s hips. 

Lucien kissed up Andras’ jaw to his ear and whispered in it, “Tell me if you want me to stop.” Andras didn’t respond except with a moan as Lucien pinched his nipple.

Lucien grinned in satisfaction and began to suck and bite down Andras’ neck. Andras tilted his head to the side to give Lucien better access as he did so. 

Andras’ hardening cock was pressing into Lucien, and he decided to take a chance. He kissed and bit down Andras’ chest, his hands scratching down in the wake of his lips until they reached the top of Andras’ trousers. Lucien’s knees hit the ground.

“Mr. Vanserra, why are you--” Lucien looked up at Andras’ face.

“I’m about to suck your dick and you’re calling me Mr. Vanserra?” Lucien asked, a brow cocked. Andras sighed.

“ _Lucien_ , why are you about to suck my dick?” Andras conceded, and Lucien smirked.

“Would you believe me if I said that I fancy you?” Andras shook his head, and Lucien flicked his eyes back down in front of him. “I’m suffering a broken heart and need a release.”

“I see.” Lucien hummed and smiled bitterly before he took a deep breath and unbuttoned the top of Andras’ trousers and pulled them down. Andras sighed at the freeing of his length as Lucien pulled down the man’s boxers as well.

Andras’ hips jerked forward as Lucien gripped him in his hand. Lucien glanced up at Andras to find his eyes screwed shut.

“Shall I continue?” Lucien questioned as he moved his hand up and down Andras’ cock. Andras nodded, but that wasn’t good enough. Lucien stilled his hand. “Shall I continue?” he repeated.

“Yes, please,” Andras breathed. 

“Good boy,” Lucien said before he put his lips around the head of Andras’ cock and swirled his tongue. Andras’ hands shot into his long red hair and tugged. Lucien groaned against Andras as he took more of him into his mouth. 

He took in as much as he could before he slowly pulled back and began bobbing his head up and down, sucking and blowing. Andras tugged on his hair and writhed around above him. Lucien scraped his teeth slightly and Andras jerked forward into his mouth with a moan.

“Greedy,” Lucien growled around Andras whose legs began to tremble. Lucien increased his pace and soon Andras was spilling hot liquid into his mouth.

A moment later, Lucien was standing up and brushing his hair back from his face. Andras was staring at him and breathing heavily. 

“Get dressed, and go home, Andras,” Lucien said as he walked back around his desk. He sat down and put his head in his hands. Cauldron, what was he thinking?

“Amren wants to talk to you,” Andras said a minute later, and Lucien looked up at him. He looked concerned, but Lucien wasn’t in the mood to get sappy with his assistant. Especially not when he’d just given the kid a blowjob in his office.

“Of course she does,” Lucien muttered, running a hand through his hair. Andras nodded and turned to go. “Andras, wait.”

“Yes?” He turned back to Lucien.

“This won’t happen again.” Andras nodded again and left.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Mention of Rape

“Cress, where are we going?” Rhysand asked from the passenger side of Cresseida’s car. 

“You know it’s a surprise,” Cresseida replied, smiling to herself. Rhysand rolled his eyes with a huff.

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll be forced to believe this is a kidnapping,” Rhysand said, and Cresseida laughed. “We’re on a residential street. In Burbank. I didn’t realise this was date night material.”

“Just wait, okay?” Cresseida said as they stopped at a stop sign. Rhys nodded and glanced back out the windows.

A few minutes later, they stopped in front of a pretty marble townhouse with a ‘For Sale’ sign out front. Rhysand looked over at Cresseida, his brows furrowed. Cresseida wrung her hands.

“Okay, so you’ve been talking about getting your own place because your brothers are moving out here soon, and I was casually looking around at listings and found this one.” Rhys’s brows rose. “There’s a woman in there if you want to see it.”

“I--yeah, sure, right now?” Cress nodded. “Okay.”

They walked up to the front door, and Rhysand knocked a bit tentatively. 

A nice woman opened the door and they stepped inside. Rhysand looked around the empty house as she spoke a bit about it. It didn’t feel like a house Cress would’ve chosen for herself, but she’d clearly been paying attention to him because Rhys could already see himself living in it.

The realtor took them around and stopped back in the entryway. “I’m sure this house would be great for you two to start your life in,” she said with a smile, and Rhys panicked. 

“No, no, we’re not engaged, or anything, I’m just looking for somewhere for myself and my brothers,” Rhys explained. Cresseida looked a bit uncomfortable, and the realtor looked apologetic.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed,” she said.

“It’s alright, um, what’s the asking price?” Rhys asked, and the realtor launched back into a spiel.   
\----------

“You smell like sex,” Amren said as Lucien walked into her office and slumped down in one of the chairs across from her. Lucien sighed and ran a hand through his still tousled hair.

“Thanks for noticing,” Lucien grumbled. Amren levelled a look at him, and he huffed in exasperation. “What do you want me to say, Amren? Sorry I gave my assistant a blowjob after finding out my best friend is dating his co-star?” Lucien pinched the bridge of his nose.

Cauldron, he was never this candid. She likely read it all over his face anyway. Her and Mor had a habit of doing so, and commenting on whatever they saw. Frankly, it was unsettling.

“That’ll do,” Amren said setting down her pen. “No need to say it again, you know how I hate redundancy.” Lucien rolled his eyes, and Amren clicked her tongue in distaste before standing and walking over to a cabinet.

She pulled out a bottle of something undoubtedly expensive along with two glasses and walked back over and sat behind her desk. Lucien didn’t say anything as she poured the amber liquid into the two glasses, and he didn’t need to because she spoke anyways.

“Now, I won’t say you have to fire him, he’s a good kid, and you’ve probably already told him it won’t happen again, but really Lucien, it can’t.” Amren looked up at him then. “I don’t care how broken your heart is, do not let it interfere at the studio.” 

She handed him a glass, which he gladly took. She raised hers up and spoke, “To boys who can’t accept they like boys.” Lucien clinked his glass with hers and drank.

Amren studied him after that. He felt her eyes on him as he stared down into his empty glass. Maybe she was waiting for him to break, but he wouldn’t. Not here, not over this, certainly not in her presence.

He really had no right to feel this way, and yet he did. His heart hurt. Maybe if he drank more it would go away, but Lucien knew it wouldn’t. It hadn’t with Jesminda.

“Why’d you ask me here?” Lucien said, remembering he wasn’t here just to mope about.

“I figured Rhysand hadn’t told you yet, and neither had Morrigan, and that you were so thick-headed that you wouldn’t have seen it, so I was going to tell you because you are so clearly, might I say, _desperately_ in love with the Spera boy, and you deserved to know.” Amren paused, picking at her nails as Lucien openly gaped at her. “Also because I need that paperwork I sent you to be finished as soon as possible.”

“Why does everyone assume I’m in love with him?” Lucien said, gripping the arms of his chair, and Amren had the audacity to roll her eyes at him.

“Are you saying you aren’t? Because if that’s the case then I don’t see why you felt the need to suck Andras’ cock,” Amren said, leaning back in her seat. “Oh, and by everyone do you mean myself, Morrigan, her girlfriend, and your ex-girlfriend?” She ticked them off on her fingers, and Lucien frowned. “I was wondering what had happened when she showed up asking for you.” 

Lucien opened and closed his mouth several times, and he was sure his face was red with anger. Amren only sat there, her expression neutral.

“Come on, Vanserra, let out the anger, I dare you,” Amren said, toying with a ruby on her necklace. “I’m sure you won’t hurt my feelings like you would Morrigan’s.”

“How do you fucking do that?” Lucien blurted. “How do you read me like that? Am I so transparent?” Amren’s silver eyes danced in amusement, and Lucien hated it, so he kept going. 

“I was raised to not show any emotion, but nowadays I seem to be showing everything, and Mor!” Lucien clenched his fists. “Oh, she sees every damn thing, and she pities me for it. It drives me fucking insane, you know that? Every time she looks at me it’s either with pity or guilt and I despise it. I don’t need her goddamn pity. I’m a grown ass man and I may be absolute shit at life, but I don’t need her or Jesminda telling me how to live it. I can work it out.” Lucien realised he’d been pacing the room and paused to breath heavily.

“Except I guess Rhys is just the poorest people reader ever because he can’t seem to take a damn hint! Hello, you absolute idiot, pay the fuck attention and maybe you’d notice that your best friend is in love with you!” Lucien collapsed back into his seat and ran his hand over his face to find that it was wet with sweat and tears. He glared at Amren who was grinning victoriously. 

His breathing was shaky as he spoke, his voice quieter than before, “This is what you wanted.”

“Yes, Lucien. I needed you to explode so that I could get you back on track, now go home.” Lucien stared incredulously at her, and she gestured towards the door. Lucien shook his head before he stood and left Amren’s office.

Luckily, Andras was gone when Lucien returned to his office to get his bag. 

He was still fuming from his outburst. His hair was a mess, his face was lined with dried tears and sweat. The cool Los Angeles night had done little to cool his flaming skin.

It was late. Later than he’d been at the studio since just after Jesminda left, when he hadn’t wanted to return to his empty apartment. _How ironic_ , he thought as he got into his car.

Lucien ripped at his tie as he drove and rolled his neck. The city was still wide awake, hustling and bustling about even this late. He fought the urge to scowl at the smiling people on the sidewalk.

Today was not a good day.

Lucien entered his apartment 15 minutes later and didn’t even bother eating before he walked to his bathroom to shower. He wasn’t hungry. In fact, the thought of eating right now made his stomach churn, so he turned on the water to a scalding temperature and stepped inside after stripping down.

Lucien Vanserra was a mess. There was no denying it at this point.

Had he always been a mess? Was this a new thing brought on by Jesminda leaving? Lucien didn’t know.

Though maybe it was his father’s fault. He’d like to believe it was his father’s fault. Beron Vanserra was a cruel man. It wouldn’t surprise him.

Lucien shut off the water.

He stepped out of the shower and grabbed his towel from nearby after squeezing out his hair. He walked quickly past the mirror and into his bedroom as to avoid his own gaze, although the mirror was so fogged up he wouldn’t have been able to see himself anyways. 

He put on a pair of boxers and crawled into his cold bed, not bothering to brush his hair or teeth before falling asleep.

\-----------------

Mor was twirling pieces of Pandora’s hair around her finger as they lay in bed, limbs entwined, her arm under Pandora’s head. Pandora was indolently tracing her finger along the curve of Mor’s breasts.

“You’re so beautiful, Mor,” Pandora murmured, reaching up to push Mor’s hair over her shoulder.

“You say that like you aren’t,” Mor whispered back, shifting a bit to see her girlfriend better, her hair falling back in front of her shoulder. Pandora frowned and wouldn’t meet Mor’s eyes. “You are, Pandora. You’re absolutely stunning.” Pandora huffed and tried turning her body away, but Mor turned her back and moved to hover over her, her hands braced on the bed on either side of Pandora’s neck. 

Panic immediately shone in Pandora’s eyes, and she quickly flipped Mor over and pinned her to the bed. Her weight was gone soon after though. Pandora had slid off her and out of bed. Mor sat up in bed as Pandora picked up a t-shirt and put it on, then wrapped her arms around herself.

“Who hurt you?” Mor asked softly. Pandora stiffened and stayed where she was for a few moments. Eventually, she walked slowly towards Mor and sat on the edge of the bed, closing her eyes for a moment.

“It was freshman year of college, and I was going to this party with a few of my friends,” Pandora started when her eyes opened again. “There had been this one guy bugging me in some of my classes, persistently asking me to go out with him, even though I told him I wasn’t interested. The last time I told him, I also added in the fact that I’m lesbian, and I couldn’t possibly be interested.” Pandora pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear, staring at nothing. 

“That made him angry, he kept saying that I led him on, but luckily the professor had gotten him to leave me be.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I was praying he wouldn’t be at said party, but he was. As soon as I saw him, I wanted to leave, but my friends convinced me to say on the hope that we could just avoid him. It was a big house with a large backyard. So we stayed.” Pandora blew out a breath.

“It was all fine until I’d volunteered to go get drinks for my friends and I. I should’ve brought someone with me.” Pandora swallowed. “He was there in the kitchen. I froze when I saw him. Then I turned to go, hoping he hadn’t seen me, but he had, and he grabbed my arm.”

She shook her head softly. “The thing about this house was that there were multiple staircases up to the next floor, and one of them was just off the kitchen, in an area that no one was in.” Mor saw a tear fall down her cheek and her heart clenched. 

“I was strong from gymnastics, sure, but he was much taller than me, and I had had more to drink than him. So when I tried to get away from him, it didn’t work. He was taking me up that side staircase and telling me he was going to make me straight.” Pandora choked on a sob, and Mor crawled across the bed and tentatively pulled Pandora into her lap. Pandora curled into her, crying. 

“He raped me, Mor,” she whispered, almost too quiet to hear. “And then he left me there. My friends realised I was missing at some point and were asking around about me. You know what the worst part is? People saw him taking me up there and didn’t do anything about it.” She paused, sniffling. Mor ran her hands soothingly up and down her back.

“My friends found me and took me home, and we never spoke of it, but I’m sure they knew what happened. The only other person I’ve said the awful words to is Desiree.” Then she was quiet, and Mor thought she was done, but she spoke again a few minutes later. “I’m sorry for how I act whenever you’re above me, it’s nothing on you, I just...can’t.”

“It’s not your fault, my love, none of it is your fault.” Mor heard the front door open and close. Rhys was home from his date with Cresseida. Delightful. She wondered how Lucien had taken it when Rhys told him this afternoon. She didn’t much care though, not right now. Not when her girlfriend was hurting.

“I don’t deserve you,” Pandora said, pulling her head back to look at Mor’s face.

“You deserve the world, Pandora.”


	19. Chapter 19

A few days later, Lucien was smushed in the backseat of Mor’s car on the way to the beach. Rhysand was sitting next to him, but he wasn’t paying attention to him. Not with Cresseida on his other side. But his leg was unintentionally brushing against Lucien’s.

Rhys had insisted he make it up to Lucien and Mor by going to the beach with them like they’d planned. Except… He’d brought Cresseida.

Lucien didn’t know why he was surprised. He just thought… maybe it’d still be like before. Guess not. Turns out things had changed without Lucien even doing anything.

Rhysand and Cresseida were giggling together, and she kept whispering things in his ear, her hand on his thigh. Pandora kept glancing back at Lucien and rolling her eyes. Lucien couldn’t agree more. 

Pandora wasn’t like Mor when it came to this whole mess. She didn’t pity Lucien, she just thought Rhys was a fucking idiot. She said so whenever he was brought up in conversation, and it had gotten to the point that Mor no longer even blinked when she did it. Lucien was beginning to think Mor had given up on denying what Pandora said about her cousin.

Pandora was still able to read you like Mor, but the only reason you knew was because she’d turn to Mor and murmur something while still looking at you and Mor would nod. It was only obvious if you were the only other person in the room. Somehow, Lucien found it better than Mor’s blatant pity looks and attempts at comfort.

Rhys draped his arm around Cresseida as he spoke to her, and Lucien huffed before looking back out the window. He really hoped this drive would be over soon.

\-------------

Mor was very, very annoyed.

She didn’t know why her cousin needed to bring along his girlfriend. It’s not that Mor didn’t like Cresseida, she just didn’t want her there. 

Lucien kept shifting around uncomfortably in his seat, and Mor fought the urge to look back at him. He would’ve gotten angry with her for it, but she couldn’t blame him. He’d been testy with her all week.

Why? Because Mor didn’t tell him for weeks that his best friend was in a relationship. His best friend that he was in love with. She regretted it now, but, at the time, she thought she was protecting him. She’d forgotten Lucien Vanserra didn’t need protecting.

At least he was speaking to her now. He had ignored her existence for two days, and she was pretty sure he only started talking to her again so he wouldn’t be fifth-wheeling on this little excursion. Mor couldn’t help but pity him just a little.

Originally, it was going to be the four of them. Mor, Rhys, Lucien, and Pandora. Their tight-knit little unit. But of fucking course, Rhys decided it was necessary to bring Cresseida along, lest she feel like she was missing out.

You know who felt like they were missing out? Lucien. 

Mor genuinely could not believe her cousin’s behavior.

Santa Monica was as busy as ever as Mor pulled into the final parking space along the boardwalk. Cresseida pulled Rhys out of the car almost immediately and began tugging him towards the water, but luckily he still had some sense and stopped her.

Mor got out of the car in time to hear him tell her they needed to get out items from the trunk before they went down there. She sighed and followed him back to the car where Lucien was already getting out towels and Pandora was collecting the assortment of sandcastle-building equipment.

Mor came up beside Lucien and picked up the bag of snacks she’d packed. She nudged him with her elbow and gave him a disgusted look when he glanced over at her. And--thank the gods--Lucien chuckled and nodded. She grinned at him as they began walking down towards the water together.

“I’m still sorry, you know,” Mor said as they found a spot in the sand. Lucien shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lucien said. “I’m over it.” He didn’t look at her, and Mor frowned.

“Over what? Me not telling you, or--” Mor cut herself off as Rhys and Cresseida appeared beside them. Rhys laid out the picnic blanket and sat down while Cresseida stripped down to her turquoise swimsuit and dashed to the water.

Mor watched as Lucien sat hesitantly down beside Rhys whose head turned quickly to look at him. Pandora came up beside Mor and nudged her slightly, her arms wrapped around the basket she was holding.

“Thanks for leaving me to the charming couple,” Pandora murmured sarcastically. She moved to set down her basket, but Mor grasped her arm gently and pulled her back.

“I’m sorry, panda, I was checking on the fox,” Mor whispered in her ear. Pandora frowned and nodded. Mor squeezed her arm softly and let her go. Pandora laid out the other blanket and sat down. Mor followed after her.

“How are you?” Lucien asked Rhys. He looked like he was pondering something as he studied Rhys’s face. Rhys seemed confused by the question.

“You could at least try and act like you aren’t eavesdropping,” Pandora whispered as she leaned over Mor to grab a bag of chips. Mor glanced quickly over at her girlfriend, but looked back at the boys when Rhys spoke.

“I’m good, I’m great,” Rhys said, and Lucien nodded, turning his head to look at the ocean. Rhys stayed looking at Lucien for a moment before he noticed Cresseida beckoning him over. He stood and took off his shirt before going to her.

Lucien’s eyes were trained on Rhys’s back as he walked. Lucien wasn’t over Rhys, but Mor already knew that. 

She schooched closer to Lucien, into the spot Rhys had just vacated. He didn’t look over at her. Instead, he watched Rhys and Cresseida splash water at each other playfully. For the first time, his expression was unreadable.

“What are you thinking?” Mor asked quietly. He didn’t answer for a long while.

“I’m thinking that I wish it was that easy for Rhys and I. I’m thinking that maybe I wouldn’t have even been able to make him happy like that,” Lucien said, still not looking at her. He sighed. “I’m thinking maybe this is for the best.”

Mor wanted to tell him otherwise, but who was she to say such a thing. She didn’t know for certain, no one did. All she had were assumptions. Rhys had never flat out told her _anything_. But that time at the club...it didn’t matter. It wasn’t her place to tell them.

So Mor bit her lip and followed Lucien’s gaze to where Rhys was now twirling Cresseida around in the water. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lucien take off his shirt and lay down on his stomach, his head turned away from her.

Rhys looked over at them a moment later and something flickered across his face when he saw Lucien, but it happened too fast, and he was too far away for Mor to read it. It didn’t help that Cresseida pulled him down for a kiss a second afterward.

Mor looked away and grabbed a handful of chips from the bag Pandora held. She didn’t want to watch them kiss, so she found other people to watch, as she often did. Pandora watched her watch everyone else, her fingers dancing along Mor’s bare skin. She had once asked what Mor was looking for, but Mor had no answer.

It was a habit of hers. To watch the people around her and try to create a story out of the looks on their faces, from the bits of dialogue she overheard. She’d been doing it since she was a child. Her parents had often gotten angry with her for staring.

Her cousin appeared in front of her a while later, dripping wet. She looked up at him, her brows raised, but he was looking at Lucien whose hair was reflecting in the sun. He looked… sad? Eventually he pulled his gaze to Mor, and Pandora beside her.

“You have money for ice cream?” he asked, pushing his wet hair back from his forehead. At the sound of Rhys’s voice, Lucien’s head turned so he could look up at Rhys. Rhys flicked his eyes quickly to Lucien and back to Mor.

“I’m sure I do, but maybe you should’ve brought your own if you planned on getting food other than what we brought,” Mor said, leaning back on her hands.

“Is this about bringing Cress?” Rhys asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m sorry I like spending time with my girlfriend.”

Mor spoke over him though: “No one said anything about her, I don’t know why you would assume that.” She thought she heard Pandora murmur, “Here we go,” under her breath.

“So we’re just going to act like you haven’t been giving her death glares, Mor?” Mor rolled her eyes.

“Oh, get _over_ yourself. Gods, three weeks and you’re already starting to sound like her.” Out of the corner of her eye, Mor saw Lucien staring wide eyed at her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Mor was about to fire back a retort, but Lucien had stood up. “Stop it you two,” he said. Rhys, the fucking idiot, immediately looked over at him, his expression changing from anger to worry. Lucien held out ten dollars to Rhys, who just stared at it.

“No, Lucien, it’s fine, I’ll just--”

“Take the fucking money, Rhys,” Lucien said, looking like he was about to forcefully place the money in Rhys’s hand. Fucking hell.

“I’ll pay you back,” Rhys said after reluctantly taking the money. Then he walked away towards an ice cream cart. When Rhys was out of earshot, Lucien turned to look at Mor, looking utterly dumbfounded. 

“He’ll pay me back?” Lucien said as he sat back down next to Mor. “I was going to ask you what the hell you were thinking, but that just threw me off. Rhys has never once said that to me.” Lucien grabbed a handful of chips. 

“It was always just a mutual ‘you buy this now, and I’ll buy that later’ kind of thing, but it wasn’t even something we discussed.” Lucien frowned. “Then again, I guess I was always part of that equation.”

“Good reflection, I think you’re getting the hang of this,” Pandora said, laying her head down on Mor’s lap. Mor pinched her shoulder, but Lucien hummed in agreement. Pandora smiled innocently up at her. It was going to be a long afternoon.

\--------------

Lucien was beginning to think that maybe his life was just one big joke. His father had practically disowned him at this point, he hadn’t seen his mother in years, and his long-term girlfriend left him seven months ago.

And now? He’d fallen in love with his best friend, who he’d only met six months ago, but who he felt like he’d known his whole life, who knew more about him than anyone else. Except for maybe this one secret.

And that best friend was now dating his co-star and seemed to be completely heterosexual, while half of his fans were still convinced he wasn’t. While most people who knew him were convinced he wasn’t.

Lucien didn’t know what to think anymore.

Rhys looked so happy with Cresseida. He smiled so easily and kissed her like she was the only girl in the world.

Maybe Lucien shouldn’t be bitter, but he was. Because it hurt. Because he felt like he was losing his best friend to a girl who knew her way around this mess of an industry. Lucien had no proof that she was only dating Rhys for publicity, but he had no proof otherwise either. 

It didn’t matter. Seemingly nothing mattered anymore. He could probably kiss Rhys in public while they were both completely sober and Rhys would still laugh it off or pretend it didn’t happen. What deep and unending shit Lucien was in.

“The paparazzi are here now, too bad they already missed the drama,” Mor joked, tossing her hair over her shoulder. Mor loved it when the paparazzi took pictures of her and Pandora, which was why she was now tugging her girlfriend down to the ocean. Lovely. Now he was alone.

Lucien was not in the mood to be photographed, so he grabbed one of Mor’s sunhats and layed down with it over his face. 

Some time later, someone sat down next to him. “Tanning, are we?” they said. It was Rhys. Lucien sat up, shifting the sunhat on top of his head. Rhys’s hair was wet and plastered to his forehead. Lucien resisted the urge to push it back.

“Not particularly, I’m just not in the mood for the paparazzi,” Lucien replied. Rhys nodded.

“Understandable.” Rhys ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up in odd directions. The corners of Lucien’s mouth twitched up. “What?” Lucien shut out the thought that Rhys had been looking at his lips.

“Nothing,” Lucien said, shaking his head. He let his eyes wander over Rhys’s chest for a moment. “Where’s Cresseida?” Rhys blinked a couple of times.

“Oh, she got swarmed by some fans,” Rhys answered, glancing over to where Lucien assumed she was. Rhys looked conflicted when he turned his attention back to Lucien. He took in Lucien again. “You look cute in that hat.” Lucien chuckled and looked up at the hat he was wearing. Rhys’s eyes brightened.

“I guess I’ll have to ask Mor if I can keep it,” Lucien said, reaching in front of him to get a grape. Rhys opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off.

“I love my fans, but they’re really exhausting sometimes,” Cresseida said to Lucien’s right. She came and sat down behind Rhys and wrapped her arms around him. Rhysand’s eyes dimmed.

“Hey, baby,” she said, kissing his cheek. Rhysand and Lucien were still staring at each other as Cresseida glanced up at Lucien, her face going sour for a fleeting moment before turning back to Rhysand with a blissful smile. “What were you talking about?”

Rhysand blinked and shook his head as he said, “Oh, nothing.” Lucien let his eyes linger on Rhys for a moment before he dragged his attention to Cresseida. 

She tilted her head to the side: “Why are you wearing that hat?”

“I don’t want my face to burn,” Lucien said blandly. Rhys gave him a look that said, _You don’t burn_ , but he ignored it. Cresseida hummed and nodded slowly.

An awkward silence fell, and Rhys opened his mouth to speak, but Lucien cut in. “I’m going to see if I can find cotton candy on the pier,” he said, starting to stand. “Do either of you want anything?” Rhys looked up at him with a frown and a shake of his head as he shielded his eyes from the sun.

Lucien ignored his frown as Cresseida echoed the sentiment(minus the frown). Lucien nodded and began walking towards the boardwalk, still feeling Rhys’s gaze burning into his back.

_Ignore, ignore, ignore._

The quiet chanting in his mind was the only thing keeping him from looking back at his best friend.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Homophobia

_A couple weeks later_

“Hey, Rhys?” Lucien said into his phone. He was sitting in his office, bored out of his mind and missing Rhys. Amren would’ve called him pathetic. She was probably right...

“Hey, what’s up?” He sounded okay, Lucien noted with a touch of relief. His logical brain told him that of course he was okay, but his stupidly-in-love brain had still been a bit worried.

“Do you want to go to lunch?” Lucien asked, tapping his pen on his desk. He lightly braced himself for the rejection, thinking it was highly possible that Rhys had plans with Cresseida today.

“Yeah, of course. When?” said Rhys. Lucien let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“20 minutes?” Rhys didn’t question it.

“Where?”

“Anywhere.” He really didn’t care. He just wanted to spend time with just Rhys for the first time in a while.

“Well, I’m out in Burbank, so just head this way and I’ll find somewhere and text you the address.” Why was he in Burbank? Lucien would ask later. 

“Yeah, okay, I’ll see you then.” 

Half an hour later, Rhys had engulfed Lucien in a hug in front of the All-American restaurant he’d chosen. Lucien hadn’t even been surprised that Rhys had picked it. Frankly, Rhys was obsessed with American comfort food.

They were sat at a table for two that was much too intimate for Lucien’s liking, but he didn’t say anything. Rhys’s knee was bouncing under the table, seemingly from excitement, seeing as every time he looked up from his menu, he would smile at Lucien. He was so smiley today, and Lucien wasn’t complaining.

Their waiter came by to take their orders. Lucien ordered one of the salads, and Rhys, unsurprisingly, got a steak. Lucien sometimes thought Rhys loved meat more than life.

“Can’t you eat healthy for once in your life?” Lucien asked, though a smile tugged at his lips.

“Nope, I’m afraid not, _mom_ ,” Rhys replied, his eyes dancing in amusement. Lucien shook his head with a sigh.

His eyes still landed on Rhys, despite his efforts. His hair was getting a bit long and curled up at the ends. His shirt was unbuttoned a bit at the top, exposing part of his tattoo. He wasn’t fiddling with his ring, so he wasn’t nervous, but his knee was still bouncing.

“You’re jittery today,” Lucien commented, taking a sip of his water. Rhys’s knee stopped.

“Sorry.” Lucien waved off the apology.

“How are you?” 

A blink. 

Rhys looked as if he hadn’t expected that question. Did he and Cresseida just not speak to each other?

“I’m good, a bit tired, but good,” Rhys answered, nodding as if to reassure himself of what he said. Interesting. “How are you? What have you been up to?”

“I’m fine, I’ve mostly just been working, as you can imagine,” Lucien said. Rhys nodded just before their food arrived. When had this become so difficult?

They were both a bit into their meals before Rhys spoke again: “Why did you want to have lunch today?” Lucien paused and rested his hand on the edge of his bowl.

“Because I miss you,” Lucien said plainly. Rhys furrowed his brows, and Lucien smiled sadly. He was sure his eyes held longing.

“What do you mean?” Rhys asked, quieter than before. 

“Why are you in Burbank, Rhys?” Lucien said, evading Rhys’s question and returning to his salad. He didn’t want to explain. Rhys still looked confused and concerned, but he answered Lucien’s question.

“I’ve bought a house here,” Rhys said, like it was the most casual thing in the world. Lucien blinked and looked up.

“You what?”

 

“I bought a house because my brothers are moving out here in a week or so,” Rhys explained, cutting his steak. “I needed my own space, and they need a place to live. It’s logical, and it’s only a townhouse, Lucien.” He took a bite and set down his fork and knife.

“Have you already moved in?” If he’d moved in, and Lucien had had no idea…

“No, I’m actually moving my stuff in today, and I was planning on going furniture shopping as well, seeing as I have none,” Rhys said, running a hand through his hair. “You could come with, if you want.” Since when was it a question if he wanted to hang out? Not in a long while, that’s for sure.

“Yeah, I’ll come.” Rhys smiled, and Lucien hoped maybe things would go back to normal.

\--------------

Mor cheered as Pandora finished her routine on the bars, as did others in the crowd. She was a favourite, it seemed. Her girlfriend waved up at her from the floor, smiling, and Mor waved back with a matching smile and blew her a kiss. Pandora gasped dramatically and then laughed.

“Do you know Pandora?” said a young girl sitting beside Mor. Mor turned to her with a smile. The girl was probably 7 or 8 and had cute little pigtail braids.

“Yeah, she’s my girlfriend,” Mor said, and the girl’s eyes lit up.

“Really? I didn’t know you could do that,” she said. Mor’s brows furrowed, and she leaned down to look at the little girl better.

“Do what?”

The girl lowered her voice like it was a secret: “Date a girl.” Mor looked up at who she assumed was the girl’s mother and narrowed her eyes.

“Well, you can, and it’s lovely,” Mor said to the girl, her face softening as she looked back at her. 

“You’re very pretty and very nice. I can see why Pandora would like you.” Kids. Mor laughed softly.

“I’m Mor, what’s your name, sweets?” Mor said, offering her hand.

“Rosa,” she answered, jutting out her hand and shaking Mor’s unceremoniously. Mor smiled and leaned down a bit more, bracing her forearms on her thighs.

“Okay, Rosa, how about after the competition, I introduce you to Pandora,” Mor offered. “I’m sure she’ll let you wear her medal if she gets one.”

“Okay! I need to ask my mom first though,” Rosa said, patting Mor’s wrist, her face full of excitement. She turned to her mom and spoke to her in Spanish. Rosa turned back to Mor a few moments later and gestured back to her mom. “Mor, this is Mama. Mama, this is Mor.”

Mor smiled and held out her hand: “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Rosa says you know Pandora,” Rosa’s mom said after shaking Mor’s hand.

“Yes, we’re friends,” Mor said politely. Rosa’s mom nodded and spoke to Rosa, slipping into Spanish again. Rosa’s face got somehow more excited as she did so. Cauldron, Mor loved children.

Pandora came in first place, and Mor had stood up and cheered at the announcement. Pandora had grinned up at her from the podium. 

Now, Mor was guiding Rosa to meet her girlfriend, Rosa’s mom trailing behind. Pandora was chatting with some of the competitors and her friends, her bag strap across her torso, but she excused herself when she noticed Mor.

“My love,” she called, jogging towards them, her arms wide. Mor caught her in a hug and lifted her off the ground a bit, and Pandora’s lips somehow found hers for a brief kiss before Mor put her down. “Cauldron, I was so nervous.”

“I knew you had it,” Mor said, pressing a kiss to Pandora’s forehead, before turning to little Rosa, who was grinning, her arm still around Pandora. “Panda, this is Rosa, she’s a big fan.” Mor noticed Rosa’s mother giving her a death glare, but she ignored it.

Pandora smiled and crouched down to Rosa’s level, holding out a hand. “Hi, Rosa, I’m Pandora. It’s very nice to meet you.” Rosa shook her hand roughly and then leaned in to whisper in Pandora’s ear. Pandora glanced up at Mor as Rosa was talking, and then she laughed. “You can wear my medal for sure.” She slipped it off her head and over Rosa’s. Rosa gawked at it a bit.

That was when Rosa’s mother appeared beside Mor. Pandora and Rosa continued to talk animatedly. 

“I don’t appreciate being lied to, miss,” Rosa’s mother hissed, low enough that Rosa couldn’t hear.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mor said, looking over at the woman as Pandora took out her phone to snap a selfie with Rosa.

“You said you were friends with Pandora.”

“I am. We’re _girl_ friends,” Mor clarified. Pandora looked over at them as Rosa was speaking, her eyes full of worry. “Is that a problem?”

“I don’t care how you choose to live your life, but I do not want you influencing my daughter.”

“Ma’am, if your daughter likes girls, she likes girls. That has nothing to do with seeing my girlfriend and I kissing, or holding hands, or doing anything couples do. It’s not a choice.” The woman opened her mouth to respond, but Mor held up a finger. “I just hope that you can learn to accept her if she figures out that she does, in fact, like girls.”

“She doesn’t,” was all the woman said before moving to get her daughter.

“You don’t know that. You _can’t_ know that,” Mor said, following after her. She grabbed the woman’s arm before she reached Rosa. “It’s not your decision to make.” Rosa’s mother freed her arm with a glare and continued on to Pandora and Rosa.

“Give the girl back her medal, Rosa,” she said. Pandora smiled when Rosa handed her her medal.

“Thank you, cutie. I hope to see you cheering in the crowds again soon,” Pandora said, taking Rosa’s hand and squeezing it gently. Rosa’s mother scowled when Rosa threw her arms around Pandora. Pandora looked up at Rosa’s mom and frowned at what she saw. “I think it’s time to go, lovebug.”

Rosa let go of Pandora, and her mother took her hand, immediately leading her away. Rosa waved goodbye though, a smile still on her face. Pandora only stood once they’d rounded the corner and were out of sight.

“Homophobic bitch?” Pandora asked quietly and Mor nodded in agreement. Pandora scowled and Mor sighed.

“You’re very good with kids,” Mor said, taking Pandora’s hands and leaning down to press their foreheads together. Pandora smiled softly, and Mor pressed their lips together briefly. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Pandora said before letting go of Mor’s hands and sliding her arm around Mor’s waist. “C’mon, we’re being _that_ PDA couple.”

“Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?” Mor asked in mock offense as they began walking towards the exit. “I thought you like liked me.” Mor pouted, and Pandora rolled her eyes.

“I _do_ like like you, carebear, promise,” Pandora assured her. Mor’s pout quickly turned to a smirk, and she leaned in to whisper in Pandora’s ear.

“That’s good because I want you to wear that medal in bed,” she murmured. “And, to clarify, I mean _just_ the medal and nothing else.” Pandora blushed, as she rarely did, and Mor grinned triumphantly.

\---------------

“It’s just a mattress, Rhys,” Lucien said, leaning against the mattress across from the one Rhys was currently flopped on. 

This was far from the first stop they made, but they’d definitely been here the longest. Rhys had spent almost as much time choosing the actual bed frame though. It was also abnormally large for one singular person to sleep in, but Lucien hadn’t questioned Rhys on that.

“‘It’s just a mattress, Rhys’,” Rhys said, mimicking the way Lucien had said it. “It’s not just a mattress. It’s the mattress I’ll be sleeping on for the next 8 years until I need to get it replaced.” Lucien rolled his eyes.

“You’re being unnecessarily dramatic.” And Lucien hated that he loved it.

“First of all,” Rhys began, sitting up and holding up one finger. “You know I’m just naturally dramatic.”

“Well, yes--”

“Shhhhh.” Rhys put his finger to his lips before holding up a second finger. “Second of all, I value my sleep.” An understatement. “And I’d rather not have my mattress messing with that valued sleep.”

“You have a 30-day trial, it’s not some lifetime commitment,” Lucien said. Rhys looked surprised.

“Really?” 

Lucien pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes. Rhys, did you listen to a word the salesman said?”

“No,” Rhys said innocently. “I was in bed heaven.” Lucien couldn’t help but laugh softly as Rhys fell back on the bed again. “I like this one, but I need a second opinion.” 

As quick as he’d flopped down, Rhys was sitting again, only now he was motioning for Lucien to come sit next to him. Damn him. Lucien sighed and crossed the space to sit on the mattress beside his friend. 

“You have to lie down to get the full experience, Lucien,” Rhys said teasingly. Lucien’s stomach fluttered though he glared at Rhys and lay down. “Thoughts?” Rhys was looking down at him, a bit amused.

“I hate it,” Lucien said, staring Rhys dead in the eye.

“Really?” Rhys looked genuinely worried for a moment.

“No, it’s fine, Rhys,” Lucien said, sitting up again. “This really isn’t a big deal.” Rhys fell limply onto his back again with a huff, his arms falling out to the sides. One of them was laying across Lucien’s lap now.

“You’re impossible,” Rhys said, looking up at Lucien’s face.

“No, Rhys, I’m trying to be reasonable.” 

Rhys huffed. “As usual,” he grumbled, sitting up and getting off the mattress. Lucien furrowed his brows. What was that about? “I’m getting this one.”

“You really should’ve gotten a moving truck,” Lucien said as he got off the bed. Rhys had never lived anywhere he had to buy everything himself, let alone an entire house. They’d spent the day getting essentials mostly, though Rhys had somehow planned on furnishing his entire house in a day. Without a moving truck. 

At this point, Rhys wasn’t bothering to furnish the guest bedrooms--the ones that didn’t belong to one of the three brothers--, but Cassian and Azriel still needed places to sleep when they arrived. Rhys didn’t want an empty house, and Lucien couldn’t blame him.

“Well, Lucien, I guess they’ll just have to be delivered like everything else,” Rhys said, looking back at Lucien with a dramatised sigh. Anything bigger than a nightstand is what he meant by everything. It would all be delivered within the week, but for now the townhouse was empty but of things like lamps and end tables and kitchenware. 

Maybe they’d spend tonight drinking too much wine on the kitchen floor. It would be the most _them_ thing they’d done in weeks.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW.

As soon as Mor unlocked the door to her apartment and closed it behind her and Pandora, Pandora had her pushed up against the wall, their lips pressed together. Mor smiled against Pandora’s mouth, but she pushed her girlfriend down onto her feet.

“Slow down, gorgeous,” Mor said. Pandora pouted slightly as she looked up at Mor, though she backed up a step, allowing Mor to slip off her shoes. Pandora must’ve already taken hers off. 

Mor took a step towards Pandora and cupped her face in her hands before leaning down and resealing their lips. Pandora eagerly returned the kiss and slid her arms up and around Mor’s neck.

Mor ran her hands down from Pandora’s cheeks to her hips where she began slipping off Pandora’s shorts as she started to guide her girlfriend down the hall. Pandora stepped out of her shorts as they touched the floor. Mor tightened her grip on Pandora’s waist to keep her from losing her balance.

They entered Mor’s bedroom, and Mor softly kicked the door closed. She broke their kiss and merely watched Pandora as she guided her the last few feet to her bed. Mor wouldn’t have minded just stopping at the couch, but she figured there was still a chance Rhys might have to come and retrieve something.

Pandora sat down and inched back before Mor leaned over and set her hands on either side of her hips. Mor stole a kiss as Pandora was gazing at her breasts, and tugged at her lip before pulling back. 

Pandora pouted again when she did, but it soon fell away as Mor unbuttoned her jeans and tugged them off, revealing lacy, lavender coloured panties.

“Pretty,” Pandora cooed.

“Mmm, and the top matches,” Mor said as she climbed onto the bed and tentatively straddled Pandora’s lap. “Is this okay?” They had been working on more communication in the bedroom in order to avoid situations like the one a few weeks ago.

“Yes,” Pandora said, her hands moving to rest on Mor’s waist. Mor pressed a kiss to her jaw. “So you got all dressed up, just for me.”

“Always,” Mor murmured in her lover’s ear, relishing in the way Pandora’s hands tightened slightly on her waist.

As her lips made their way down Pandora’s neck, Mor gently pushed her down on the bed.

“Is this okay?” Mor asked again, because now she was hovering over Pandora, her hair falling forward. There was a flash of panic in Pandora’s eyes, there and gone in an instant.

Pandora took a deep breath before saying, “Yes.” Mor reattached her lips to Pandora’s neck and that was that.

Pandora moved her hands down over Mor’s butt before placing them on top of her thighs, squeezing them gently. Mor knew Pandora loved her thighs and smiled against her neck. Pandora hummed and inched her hands a bit higher, her thumbs brushing close to where moisture was beginning to gather.

But Pandora’s hands found their way up to the front of Mor’s blouse instead and unbuttoned the buttons before pushing the blouse down Mor’s arms and tossing it away. Mor’s teeth scraped across Pandora’s collarbone, and Pandora let out a shaky breath near Mor’s ear. 

Her hands then moved to the roots of Mor’s hair to tug her head up from her neck. Mor stayed leaning over her for a moment before Pandora pushed her shoulders softly, a silent request for her to sit upright. Mor did so and studied Pandora’s face as her partner’s hands roamed her skin, her eyes trailing those hands. 

First, Pandora ran her fingers lightly along the top edge of Mor’s underwear and Mor rolled her hips gently. Pandora withdrew her fingers, though her eyes fluttered a bit as she waited for Mor to stop. She then traced her hip bones before running her hands up Mor’s sides. Mor absently traced the medal resting on Pandora’s chest. 

Mor’s breath hitched when Pandora cupped her breasts. Pandora hummed as one hand moved up to finger the strap of Mor’s bra. “I do quite like this set,” she said, meeting Mor’s gaze. She brushed her thumb over Mor’s peaked nipple through the fabric, and Mor moaned, her eyes falling closed. 

“I think I remember mention of me wearing this medal and only this medal.” Pandora dragged her hands down Mor’s torso and rested them on her abdomen. “Are you going to get on that, or…”

Mor’s eyes blinked open and she smirked down at Pandora. “Of course, my love.”

Mor leaned down to kiss her sweetly before she ran her hands across Pandora’s shoulders until they met the fabric of her leotard. She began pushing the sleeves down her arms, squeezing and stroking the muscled limbs as she did.

“I love your muscles,” Mor murmured as she gently pulled Pandora’s arms out of the long sleeves. Pandora huffed a laugh.

“I know. You’ve told me before,” Pandora said, and Mor continued pulling her leotard down her body. She was leaning down far enough that her hair brushed against Pandora’s small breasts as they were exposed. Pandora writhed a bit under her, and Mor closed her eyes for a moment at the friction against her.

She let out a shaky breath and resumed. When her hands neared Pandora’s pelvis, she rose up onto her knees so she could slide the rest of the garment off.

“Pretty girl,” Mor whispered, looking down at her girlfriend. She and Pandora both let out unsteady breaths as she lowered herself again.

“Where to start…” Mor pondered aloud, trying to maintain her composure as she gently rolled their hips together. She traced Pandora’s lips with her finger, then trailed it down to the medal where she ran it over the detailing.

“Can you just fucking kiss me?” Pandora breathed, squeezing Mor’s thighs.

“Where?” Mor teased, bracing her hands on either side of Pandora’s head. Pandora looked like she was about to growl before Mor leaned down and pressed their lips together. The kiss was slow and soft and dizzying.

Pandora’s fingers skimmed along her back before reaching the clasp of her bra, which she undid. Mor sat up to remove it and Pandora hummed as she gazed at her now bare chest. 

When Mor leaned back down and kissed her again, Pandora reached down to brush her fingers against Mor’s soaked underwear, drawing a whine from Mor’s lips and a jerk of her hips. Mor detached her lips with wide eyes as Pandora stroked her fingers again. Pandora was grinning up at her.

“Break’s over, hmm?” Mor breathed against Pandora’s mouth. Pandora shrugged and twirled a piece of Mor’s hair around her finger as she slipped her other hand into Mor’s panties. Mor pressed their foreheads together, tangling her fingers in her lover’s thick hair.

Pandora pushed a finger in, and Mor screwed her eyes shut, her breathing uneven. She ground against Pandora’s hand, letting her body glide across her girlfriend’s. Mor’s thoughts narrowed on the feel of Pandora’s finger moving inside her, on the second finger she now added.

Pandora lurched up to seal their lips as Mor moaned; Pandora’s free hand twined in her hair and pulled her closer. Pandora crooked her fingers as Mor tugged on her hair.

Mor gasped, “Pandora, I--”. She cut herself off, not entirely due to the fact that Pandora rubbed her thumb over the knot at the apex of Mor’s thighs. “Fuck.”

Pandora rubbed again--harder this time--as she plunged her fingers in faster and further. Mor squeaked and bit down on Pandora’s lip and her walls clenched around her lover’s fingers. Pandora hummed as she continued slowly stroking Mor through her orgasm.

Mor dropped her head to Pandora’s shoulder, breathing heavily. Pandora withdrew her fingers and moved her hand to rest on the small of Mor’s back, softly tracing little shapes.

When Mor lifted her head, she blinked lazily down at Pandora. Mor tucked a curl behind Pandora’s ear and ran her finger down along Pandora’s jaw before resting it under her chin.

“It’s your turn now, dearest,” Mor said, her voice dripping like honey. She stole a kiss from Pandora’s lips before sliding down her body, dragging her own lips as she went.  
\---------------

“Rhys, do you think we drink too much?”

“Oh, most definitely,” Rhys said to Lucien as he was leaning back against the wall across from him, wine glass in hand. Lucien hummed, a smile tugging at his lips, and closed his eyes. 

There were two bottles sitting between him and Lucien. One was already empty and the other was half empty. They’d bought the wine at the supermarket after realising Rhys would have none at the townhouse. Rhys had wanted to get champagne to celebrate moving in, but Lucien had convinced him to wait until his brothers moved in and the house was decently furnished. Always thinking logically. 

Rhys was glad that Lucien had agreed to stay over despite having nowhere to sleep. There were deliveries coming in the morning, and Rhys thought it better to just stay the night here than to wake up early and drive back, but he didn’t want to stay in an empty house alone. 

Lucien was looking a bit lighter, a bit brighter, than he had at lunch earlier today. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he’d been smiling a lot this afternoon. Rhys hadn’t realised he’d missed that smile until he’d seen it. 

Lucien had looked so drained at lunch though, almost sad. There had been flashes of that almost sadness at times throughout the day as well, usually whenever Rhys brought up Cresseida, like an idiot. Clearly something about her, or their relationship, bothered him, but Rhys tried to forget about it.

Rhys was studying Lucien now, pondering what he was thinking there with his eyes closed and his wine glass on the floor beside him, his fingers resting on the foot of the glass. His shirtsleeves were rolled up, exposing his forearms, the top button of his shirt was undone, and his tie was probably somewhere in his car. His hair was down, but Rhys noticed a hair tie on his wrist.

“I can feel your eyes, Rhys,” Lucien said, his own eyes still closed.

“Can I braid your hair?” Rhys asked, and Lucien opened one eye.

“I suppose.” Lucien opened his eyes to move around to where his back was facing Rhys. Rhys moved up to kneel on both knees so he could see where to start the braid. He started collecting hair at the front of Lucien’s head and split the section into three pieces.

Lucien leaned back against him as he took a sip of wine and Rhys froze. Shit. Why was he still struggling in Lucien’s presence? 

“Sorry, the wine’s making me sleepy,” Lucien said, sitting forward again. Rhys instantly missed the feel and warmth of his body, like the idiot he was. He had a fucking girlfriend now, he couldn’t be chasing silly fantasies of being with his best friend.

“No, it’s just…” Rhys paused to think of a semi-decent lie. “The floor hurts my knees.” That wasn’t even really a lie. “There’s carpet in the bedrooms upstairs.”

“Mmm, the floor hurts my ass, let’s go,” Lucien said, already making to stand. Rhys tried to make himself think of anything other than Lucien’s ass. “As long as we can bring the wine.” He looked back at Rhys as he said it, and Rhys just shrugged. 

Rhys stood up and offered his hand to Lucien, who took it after downing his glass of wine and picking up the bottle nearby. Lucien narrowed his eyes slightly and tilted his head to the side once he’d stood up. Rhys dropped his hand, but Lucien didn’t move.

“What?” Rhys asked, not really looking for an answer. Lucien hummed and headed for the stairs. Rhys followed after him.

Lucien turned back to him when he reached the top of the staircase. “Which one did you choose for yourself again?”

“The first one on the left,” Rhys said, nearing the top step. Lucien nodded and continued down the hall. The room was empty except for the clothes in the closet and the small stacks of books pushed against the wall. He’d already put curtains on the windows as well.

Rhys caught up to Lucien as he was entering the room. Lucien stopped in the middle of the room and sat down before refilling his glass. Rhys sat down next to him and gestured for Lucien to hand him the wine bottle. Lucien passed it to him and watched as he filled his glass.

“Aren’t you going to braid my hair?” Lucien asked when he’d finished. Rhys looked at Lucien for a moment. He didn’t really know if he was going to anymore. It felt far more intimate than it should. So Rhys just shook his head and lay down on his back, resting his glass on his stomach.

Rhys watched as Lucien shifted so he could look down at his face. Lucien just watched him for a while, occasionally sipping from his wine. 

“What are you looking for?” Rhys asked, quiet and curious. Lucien shook his head and shrugged before taking another sip of wine. “You can still talk to me, Lucien.” Lucien’s russet eyes seemed to flicker at the use of his name.

Rhys sat up and saw Lucien swallow at how close their faces now were. He moved back subtly.

“Really, you can,” Rhys assured him, tentatively grasping his arm. He hoped his face showed how sincere he was. It must have because Rhys noticed Lucien’s lips twitching upwards just a bit.

“There you are,” Lucien whispered. Rhys was confused, but he didn’t ask what Lucien meant.  
Lucien looked down at his now-empty--again--wine glass and held it out to Rhys. “Don’t let me drink any more tonight.”

Rhys took the glass and picked up the bottle between them. “I’ll go put all this away, be right back,” Rhys said as he stood up with a bit of difficulty. 

When Rhys returned to his room, Lucien was lying on his back on the floor, his eyes closed. Rhys resisted the urge to reach out and touch his face as he knelt down close by. Even if he thought Lucien was asleep, he wouldn’t have done it. Lucien was much too light a sleeper.

What he did do was lay his head down on Lucien’s stomach, to which Lucien jolted upright, but didn’t tell him to move.

“You’re quite clingy,” Lucien said. He didn’t add _when you’re drunk_. “Do you cling to Cresseida, too? Or are you not at that point in your relationship yet.” The answer was no. A definite no. If anything, Cresseida was the one who clung. But Rhys knew Lucien didn’t really care, he was just reminding him of the fact that he had a girlfriend.

Rhys got off of him and lay down on his stomach a couple feet away, closing his eyes. Lucien sighed--though it almost sounded like a huff of exasperation--and lay back down.

“I like the house, by the way,” Lucien said after a long enough stretch of time that Rhys though he’d fallen asleep. Rhys hummed.

“So do I.”

\--------------------

Lucien awoke to a ringing doorbell and a dull headache. He wasn’t sure where he was for a moment when he opened his eyes, but it all flooded back to him when he saw Rhys asleep nearby. He wanted to linger and keep looking at Rhys’s sleeping face, but the doorbell rang again.

“Rhys, get up.” Rhys groaned and Lucien huffed, nudging him with his foot. “Deliveries are here that you’ll need to sign for. I’ll get the door, but you have maybe 2 minutes to be downstairs.” Rhys swatted his foot away. “Get up,” Lucien repeated before exiting the room and rushing down the staircase.

He opened the door with an apology already tumbling from his lips, but it wasn’t delivery men that he opened the door to. It was Cresseida. And the bright sun that made his head throb. Lucien swallowed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Good morning,” Lucien said stiffly. Cresseida returned the sentiment, looking a tad bit uncomfortable. “Um, Rhys is still upstairs. He hates waking up in the morning.” Lucien had meant for that to be casual, but then he realised Cresseida probably didn’t know that about Rhys.

“Could I come in?” Cresseida asked. She looked to be fighting the urge to grit her teeth.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Lucien opened the door wider to let her in. He closed the door when she’d entered and turned to her, rubbing the back of his neck. “I, um, I think we bought a coffee maker yesterday if you want some coffee.”

“Sure, why not,” Cresseida said, smiling blandly. Lucien nodded and led her to the kitchen. She set her purse on the island and stood there while Lucien collected the materials to make coffee.

Lucien tapped his fingers anxiously on the counter as he waited for the coffee to brew. He was doing just that when Rhys called from the foyer.

“Lucien, what the hell!” Lucien squeezed his eyes shut. Rhys’s footsteps approached the kitchen, and Lucien glanced over at Cresseida, whose jaw was clenched. “You’re a fucking liar, there’s no one--” Rhys reached the kitchen and froze. He’d taken his shirt off before going to sleep last night and hadn’t bothered to put it back on. This would be fun. “Here.” Rhys swallowed.

“Hey, Cress,” Rhysand managed to get out. She didn’t answer, just stared at him as he crossed the room to get coffee. Rhys made eye contact with Lucien and his eyes widened. Lucien raised his eyebrows. “Um, what are you doing here?”

“I came to help you unpack and set up, but it seems you’ve already got that covered,” Cresseida said with a pointed look at Lucien. He refrained from rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“Actually, Lucien has to go into work today,” Rhysand said, turning pleading eyes towards him. So this was how it was going to be. Lucien was tempted to deny it, just to see what Cresseida would do, but then Rhys would be angry with him. Lucien didn’t want that.

“Yeah, I was just going to get breakfast and head to work once Rhys had woken up,” Lucien said, breaking Rhys’s gaze to look at Cresseida. Rhysand’s grip tightened on his coffee mug. She plastered on a saccharine smile.

“I’m sure we’ve got it covered without you, don’t worry.” Lucien wanted to slap her, but instead he just smiled at her in the same way she was at him.

15 minutes later, Lucien was heading for the door when a hand gripped his arm. He turned with a sigh to find Cresseida with a somewhat victorious smile on her face.

“Jealousy is an ugly look on you,” she said with a mock pout on her face, quiet enough that Rhys couldn’t hear.

“Hmm, it’s even uglier on you, my dear.” Cresseida’s face contorted in anger and she let go of his arm. Lucien smiled cruelly and blew her a mocking kiss as he turned to the door. “Have fun.”


	22. Chapter 22

_A week later._

“Cassian will probably hug you suffocatingly,” Rhys said to Lucien as they drove to the airport to pick up Rhys’s brothers. Lucien chuckled, but Rhys seemed a bit tense. 

Rhys had told him yesterday that Cresseida was busy and that he wanted Lucien to come with him to the airport. Lucien had been a bit reluctant, but Rhys had always told him that Cassian and Azriel would love him, so Lucien thought why not greet them when they first arrived.

The traffic on the way to LAX was terrible as usual, but they arrived soon enough and found a space in the parking garage. 

Rhys fiddled with his family ring as they walked to the airport doors, and through them to the baggage claim.

“Why are you nervous?” Lucien asked absently. Rhys looked over at him with furrowed brows.

“I’m not nervous,” Rhys said, and Lucien just stared at him, waiting. Rhys huffed. “How’d you know?”

Lucien gestured to his ring. “You fiddle with it when you’re nervous.” Rhys looked down at his ring as if he hadn’t realised that he did such a thing and then back up at Lucien in a bit of awe. Lucien looked away as they entered the airport.

“Did they tell you which--” Lucien was cut off by a man calling Rhys’s name. Lucien looked over at his friend and found his face lighting up as he spotted who Lucien assumed was Cassian, judging by how large he was. He couldn’t help but smile at the pure glee on Rhys’s face as his brother came towards them.

“Cassian,” Rhys said, grinning, just before he was enveloped in a hug. Rhys claimed Cassian was a photographer, but Lucien didn’t think he’d ever known a photographer with muscles that large. The man bun? Common. The glasses? Also common. But never muscles like Cassian’s.

Lucien felt a pair of eyes on him and searched for the source, spotting Azriel with his eyes fixated on him. His eyes were narrowed like he was trying to figure Lucien out, maybe trying to place who he was to Rhys. Before he could say anything, Rhys and Cassian had broken apart and Rhys’s arm was around him.

“Cass, Az, this is Lucien,” Rhys said, tucking Lucien in a bit closer.

“I’m guessing you’re not the girlfriend,” Cassian joked with a lopsided grin. Lucien looked up at Rhys in time to see his eyes flicker for a moment. He ignored it and chuckled.

“No, he’s the best friend,” Rhys said. Lucien thought he heard longing tinged in his voice. Azriel was still staring him down, but Cassian’s grin somehow grew. Lucien noticed that his eyes crinkled when he did so.

“Good. That makes this a whole lot more fun,” Cassian said, coming closer to grab him for a hug. Rhys let go a moment before Cassian reached him, giving Lucien no time to even think of missing him. “Between you and me, Rhys’s girlfriends tend to be pretty uptight.”

“You’re telling me,” Lucien muttered, and Cassian snorted as he released him. 

“So, Lucien, Mor’s told me that you’re not too bad at cooking,” Cassian said as he moved to retrieve his bag. Rhys moved closer to Lucien again after having embraced Azriel, who didn’t seem to be so wary of Lucien anymore.

“Well, she told _me_ I actually rival you for best family cook,” Lucien said, picking at his nails. Cassian broke into a hearty laugh and Lucien smiled.

“I guess we’ll just have to see about that, won’t we, foxboy?” Cassian said as they began walking towards the exit. Rhys visibly stiffened, and Lucien tried to cover his surprise and slight discomfort with a laugh. Rhys was the only one who had ever called him that, and Lucien didn’t particularly like having someone else do so.

Even still, he missed when it had been this easy between him and Rhys. 

Lucien nudged Rhys playfully as they walked towards the parking garage while Cassian was speaking animatedly about some event at the Vegas airport. Rhys looked over at him, and Lucien smiled in an attempt to brighten Rhys up again. 

It worked and Rhys nudged him back with a grin. Cauldron, he was even prettier when he smiled, so pretty that Lucien almost forgot that Cresseida would be round the townhouse later. Almost.

\---------------

Pandora watched her girlfriend as she drove. They were heading over to Rhys’s townhouse to celebrate him moving in and his brothers arrival. Foster brothers, Mor had told her, though Mor could barely remember a time when they weren’t around.

Mor was practically bouncing with excitement. She hadn’t seen Cassian and Azriel since she left Vegas years ago. 

They stopped at a stop sign. Mor’s knee was bouncing, and she was tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. Pandora put her hand on Mor’s thigh. Mor glanced over at her and her eyes were sparkling in elation. 

It hit her then. She was in love with Morrigan Catena. And she couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.

“What?” Mor said, her eyebrows raising as her smile tugged wider. Pandora stroked her thumb across Mor’s skin.

“We’re almost there, please try not to kill us in the next few minutes,” Pandora said, and Mor laughed as she turned her eyes back to the road and pressed on the gas. Pandora’s heart swelled at her girlfriend’s laugh.

They pulled into the townhouse driveway approximately 3 minutes later, and it seemed Mor couldn’t turn the car off and get out soon enough. She was bouncing on her toes, her hand outstretched, as she waited for Pandora to round the car. As soon as she took Mor’s hand, she was being tugged towards the front door.

Lucien opened the door a few moments after Mor knocked, and Mor pushed past him into the house, letting go of Pandora’s hand and swiftly walking down the hall. Pandora paused to hug Lucien, though. 

He looked happy despite the fact that the bitch’s voice could be heard in the kitchen. Maybe that was related to the presence of Rhys’s brothers. Pandora raised her eyebrows a bit--their signal for _Good?_ \--and Lucien nodded.

Pandora heard Mor squeal Cassian’s name as she and Lucien were walking to the kitchen. What she assumed was Cassian’s laugh rumbled down the hallway. 

The house was more decently furnished than the last time she’d been over. The sitting room had a plush sofa and a low coffee table, as well as what looked like a pair of antique armchairs on the other half of the room with an ottoman at the foot of one of them.

Pandora’s heart stumbled as she reached the kitchen and saw her girlfriend being held by Cassian. Mor’s legs were tightly wrapped around Cassian’s hips, her arms around his neck. His arms were around her just as tightly.

Lucien nudged her, and she looked over at him. He raised his brows. 

Usually, Pandora was the one doing that to him. Pandora nodded, but Lucien didn’t look convinced. He squeezed her arm reassuringly before crossing the room to Rhys and Cresseida. The former had already been watching him, though the latter hadn’t even noticed his reappearance and looked quite annoyed by the fact that he was returning.

Cassian set Mor down a few moments later and she turned to Azriel, embracing him in a tight hug as well. Pandora told herself that Mor had just missed them, that this was completely justified because it was. It was. 

As soon as Mor let go of Azriel, she was rushing over to Pandora and clasping her hand. Mor tugged her across the kitchen to Cassian and Azriel. 

“Cassian, Azriel, this is Pandora,” Mor said, looking at each person in turn. Pandora looked up at her and found her smiling softly. Mor’s eyes remained on her as she spoke again. “My girlfriend.”

“Please don’t crush her, Cass,” she added quickly, her eyes flicking over to him. Cassian threw his hands up in innocence, but Azriel gave him a look that had him flashing a cheeky grin and dropping his hands. He instead offered his hand to her.

“I sincerely hope you’re better than that one,” Cassian said, leaning in as he gripped her hand and glancing between her and Cresseida. Pandora snorted, but Mor hissed at him.

“I like to think I’m not a conceited little bitch if that’s what you mean,” Pandora replied dryly.

“Dora!” Mor whisper-yelled, though Cassian burst out laughing. Even Azriel’s lips twitched upwards. “Just because she gets in the way of your ship doesn’t mean she’s a ‘conceited little bitch’.” Pandora glared up at her.

“It was your ship first, Mor,” Pandora reminded her and Mor pursed her lips. “And anyways, she was conceited before she even started dating Rhys, don’t try and tell me otherwise.” Cassian wasn’t laughing anymore, and Azriel was glancing over at the group across the room. Pandora felt only Lucien’s eyes.

Mor opened her mouth, but closed it again and frowned. “You’re right, okay? But can we not talk about it when they’re 20 feet away?” Mor lowered her voice so only Pandora could hear and reached out to run her hand down her arm.

“Can we get out the champagne now?” Cassian asked as Pandora nodded to Mor. “You said we had to wait for Mor and she’s here now.” Mor smiled softly down at Pandora, and over at Cassian. Pandora took her hand and squeezed it gently.

“Yeah, Rhys, bring it out,” Pandora said, glancing back at Rhys. 

He was grinning at them, looking happy for once. He seldom smiled like that whenever Cresseida was present, and Pandora was pretty sure the girl knew that. Either she didn’t care, or Lucien’s theory was correct. He thought she was only dating Rhys for the publicity. 

Rhys moved past Cresseida to get to the fridge as Lucien went for the glasses. Anyone who didn’t think they were a better team than Rhys and Cresseida was sorely mistaken. 

Once glasses filled with champagne had been distributed around the room, Lucien raised his glass before Cresseida got the chance. She glared at him, and Pandora could help but snicker, especially as Rhys grinned at him. Azriel glanced over at her, an eyebrow raised, and she winked at him before sliding her arm around Mor’s waist.

“A toast,” Lucien began. Good gods, he and Rhys were staring into each other’s eyes. “To my best friend, his brothers, and this townhouse.”

“And you say I’m the dramatic one,” Rhys said to Lucien before sipping his champagne along with the rest on the group.

\---------------

Mor was happy, so so happy, and relaxed. Cassian was massaging her feet and her head was back on Azriel’s shoulder. She was holding her champagne flute in her hand and her eyes were closed as she listened to Rhys talking across the room.

Her cousin was going on about one high school party that apparently entailed Cassian belting out show tunes for the neighbourhood to hear. Mor couldn’t quite remember that event taking place, but she was sure she’d been drunk off her ass.

“Hey, Mor?” Azriel said, poking her arm.

“Hmm?” Mor raised her glass to her lips and took a sip.

“Pandora just left the room,” Az murmured, and Mor opened her eyes and sat up. She’d completely forgotten her girlfriend was here. “She looked upset.” Fuck.

“I’ll be right back,” Mor said before getting up and heading for the front sitting room. “Panda?” she called softly.

Pandora was standing in front of the window, looking out at the street, her hands tucked under her armpits.

“Are you okay?” Mor asked softly, crossing the room and placing her hand tentatively on Pandora’s shoulder.

“Not really, Mor,” Pandora said, turning to look at her. She looked sad and angry and confused all at once.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Mor asked, concern heavily lining her voice. Pandora looked away again, and Mor stroked her thumb across Pandora’s shoulder.

“You’re quite close with Cassian and Azriel,” Pandora said bitterly.

“And? I’m close with Rhys as well,” Mor said, her hand pausing.

“You don’t run and jump into Rhys’s arms or have Rhys rub your feet or lie your head on Rhys’s shoulder.” Mor dropped her hand from Pandora’s shoulder.

“You’re jealous.” It wasn’t a question, and Pandora didn’t answer. “Pandora, I’ve not seen them in years.”

“I know, but-- ”

“They’re my _friends_ , Pandora. My family.” Mor knew her volume was rising, but Pandora had to know that, had to know how much she went through before moving out here. “You don’t get to judge what we do.”

“You’re _my_ girlfriend, Mor, not either of theirs,” Pandora said, the volume of her voice rising as well. Mor gaped at her.

“Since when are you possessive?” Mor queried, genuinely shocked.

“Since your fucking foster cousins showed up and commanded your attention,” Pandora spat.

“So you’re an attention whore now? I should’ve guessed, you are a gymnast after all.” Mor knew her blow had hit home when Pandora flinched.

“It seems you’re an attention whore as well, seeing as you seem to love having triple the amount of attention you get from me on a normal basis. I guess I just wasn’t enough.”

“Get out,” Mor ordered quietly, but not weakly, and Pandora swallowed, her face falling.

“Mor--” Mor shook her head.

“I said get out,” Mor repeated, louder this time as she pointed towards the door.

“Mor, please, can we just--” Pandora reached out for her, but she stepped back and Pandora’s eyes dimmed.

“Rhys!” Mor called, ignoring the tears she saw gathering in her girlfriend’s eyes. Her own voice had cracked when she called for Rhys. But if Pandora wouldn’t leave when Mor said, then she’d just have to get Rhys to say so.

Pandora was putting on her shoes now as Rhys was coming down the hallway. Mor’s vision was blurring.

“Can we please just talk about this?” Pandora choked out as she stood. “Mor, I didn’t mean it, please--” Mor went to open the door as her heart clenched.

“Leave,” Mor said as she opened the door. She closed her eyes so she didn’t have to see Pandora cry. She tried to convince herself that if she couldn’t see the tears then they weren’t really there.

“Mor…” she whispered, and Mor shook her head. 

“Mor, what--” That was Rhys. He cut himself off and then Mor heard Pandora’s footsteps walking away. Mor closed the door quickly and leaned back against it. Only then did the tears come.

Mor slid down the door and put her head in her hands, a sob racking her body.

Why did she do this? Why did she always mess things up and hurt herself and the people around her?

“What happened?” Rhys whispered. He sounded concerned, but also nervous. Mor didn’t break down a lot. 

She didn’t respond.

“Rhys, what’s going on?” Mor would’ve groaned if she wasn’t a mess. Cresseida was driving her a bit insane at this point.

“Cresseida, go back into the living room, will you?” Rhys said tightly. “And get Lucien? I want to make sure Pandora gets home alright.”

“She’s gone?” Mor looked up and saw Rhys glaring at Cresseida. “Rhys, I could go--” Mor snorted despite herself and Cresseida looked over at her. Pandora would likely slap her before she even got the chance to speak.

“Get Lucien.” Cresseida frowned, but stalked back to the living room.   
\--------------

Rhys hadn’t seen Mor break down since they were both 18 and her parents had just kicked her out of the house. It had been worse back then though. She had been in such a state that Rhys didn’t know how she’d even made it over to his house. But she’d been angry too. Now she was just… broken.

He couldn’t help but think that this is what would’ve happened if he had decided to act on his feelings for Lucien.

Lucien, who was taking Pandora home right now after her and Mor’s fight. Lucien, who got along well with Rhys’s brothers. Lucien, who managed to make him smile even when everything else was doing the opposite. Lucien, who he needed to stop thinking about.

Cresseida had left a few minutes ago after Rhys had asked her to. He didn’t want her here when his cousin was like this, and he assumed Mor didn’t want her here either. Rhys ignored the way he felt himself relax after she’d gone.

He was sitting next to Mor on the sitting room couch. Her tears were silent now, but they were still there. She’d stopped shaking at least.

Earlier, Rhys had heard their voices from the living room, but he hadn’t been able to make out what they were saying. It couldn’t have been kind, on either side. He hadn’t asked the stupid question--Do you want to talk about it?--he just sat next to her in case the answer was yes, but also just as a comfort. The Mother knew how many times she’d done the same for him.

“You’re a good guy, Rhys,” Mor said, her voice scratchy from crying. Rhys looked over at her to find that she’d already been watching him. “I don’t think she deserves you.” She shook her head as she spoke. She blinked and a tear fell down her cheek.

“I don’t think it’s about deserve, Mor,” Rhys whispered. It was a bullshit line and Mor knew that, but she didn’t press him on it. She just hummed and leaned back into the couch. “Do you want to go home? You’re welcome to stay here if you want, though you’ll have to sleep on a couch, the guest beds don’t arrive until tomorrow.”

“I’m fine on the couch,” Mor said, looking at him through one open eye. Rhys nodded and stood up to get a blanket from the ottoman nearby. Mor shifted around to lay on her side as he did so. Rhys handed her the blanket and she laid it out over herself.

“Goodnight, Mor,” Rhys said before starting for the staircase. 

“Hey, Rhys?” Mor called softly. He paused and looked back at her. She smiled weakly. “Thank you.” Rhys shook his head and waved his hand. Mor sighed and tilted her head back down. “Goodnight, cousin.”


	23. Chapter 23

Mor hadn’t been home in a few days. She didn’t want to be reminded of Pandora. Her thoughts drifted often to the words they had both spat like fire anyway and it made her heart hurt.

Mor had overreacted and she hated herself for it. For driving Pandora away and kicking her out.

She missed her girlfriend.

Cassian was making waffles as Mor sat at the kitchen table. Azriel was drinking coffee and reading the newspaper across from her. Rhys had yet to get up, but Mor wasn’t surprised.

“Do you want chocolate chips?” Cassian asked, glancing back at her. Mor nodded and he returned to the batter.

Mor didn’t talk to anyone about the fight, but she wouldn’t be surprised if they’d heard bits and pieces. No one brought it up though, thankfully. She knew she’d distanced herself from her family after what her and Pandora fought about, but they seemed to understand.

Lucien and Cresseida would be over this afternoon for what Cassian referred to as ‘Lucien getting crushed in the kitchen’ though everyone else just called it a cook off, one which Lucien and Cassian were subjecting the rest of them to. Minus Pandora that was.

Rhys entered the kitchen just as the first round of waffles finished baking.

“Ahh, of course you’ve crawled out of bed just in time for food,” Cassian said as Rhys rubbed at his eyes. Rhys stuck his tongue out at Cassian as he came to sit down next to Mor. 

Cassian piled the waffles onto a large plate and brought them over to the table. Mor breathed in the smell of them before grabbing one and placing it on her plate.

“Do you have syrup?” Mor asked Rhys as he was grabbing a waffle. Azriel was doing the same, though he had already begun to eat. Rhys nodded.

“In the pantry, right at eye level, I think.” Mor made to go and get it but Cassian told her he would, so she sat back down. She watched Rhys as he dug into his waffle, getting chocolate on his face in the process. She almost laughed; he was like a child.

Cassian set the syrup down on the table and sat down to her right after starting the second round of waffles in the iron. Mor picked it up and poured syrup over her waffle as Cassian grabbed one of his own.

“So,” Cassian began as he took the syrup bottle from Mor. “Do you two really think Lucien can win this competition? I just don’t want to crush him or anything.” Az rolled his eyes.

“Totally,” Rhys said before putting a piece of waffle in his mouth.

“You’re biased,” Cassian said to him and turned to Mor. Mor fought the urge to laugh at the surprise and confusion on Rhys’s face. Mor thought she saw Azriel huff as he rubbed at his forehead. Idiot. Rhys was an absolute idiot.

“You’re taking this quite seriously, though I don’t know why I’m surprised,” Mor said, cutting her waffle into pieces. Cassian glared at her and she shrugged. “I think he can do it.”

Cassian grinned. “It should be a fun afternoon then.”

They ate for a little while, chatting as they went along. Cassian finished up the waffle batter and put the bowl in the sink before sitting down with them again.

Rhys raised his eyebrows as if he’d just remembered something, but wiped the look off his face before speaking to Mor. “You should go home. Change your clothes. Maybe bring some over here, if you’re so keen on avoiding your apartment.” 

Mor blinked. She’d expected something else, maybe something from Pandora. She’d hoped for that, actually. Mor fought to keep the disappointment off of her face.

“Don’t think I’m trying to kick you out, but, Mor, you haven’t been home in days.”

“No, you’re right,” Mor said, standing with her plate to take it to the sink. “I’ll be back this afternoon, okay?” The boys nodded and she smiled a bit despite dreading going to her apartment. 

“Don’t start cooking without me,” she added as she grabbed her purse off of one of the stools and started towards the door.

\---------

Mor’s apartment building was quiet, though she could hear people talking and walking and cars driving by outside. Mor fished into her purse to find her keys and pulled them out a few moments later.

They jingled as she put them in the lock. She had too many keychains, including one of the Las Vegas sign. She might hate her parents, but Vegas was still her home.

The first thing Mor saw when she opened the door were roses, red ones and lots of them. They were in vases on the side table where she kept her purse and along the walls. Mor didn’t think she even owned this many vases.

She set her purse down on the table in the sliver of empty space and slipped off her shoes before walking further into the apartment, clutching the pendant on her necklace. Her eyes were welling up with tears now. Who would’ve--

Mor froze as she reached the living room. Not because the entire room was filled with roses but because Pandora was standing there, holding a bouquet of flowers.

Pandora carefully walked around the armchair to stand in front of her. Mor’s throat was closing up.

“I’m so sorry,” Mor choked out as Pandora held the flowers out to her. “What I said--Gods, it was awful, I’m so sorry--”

“Hey, hey, you’re not the only one who said awful things,” Pandora said, reaching out to take Mor’s hand. “I’m sorry too.”

“But I kicked you out,” Mor whispered, her vision blurred. “I should’ve just listened to you. You had every right to be upset. I didn’t think about how it would look. I’m so so sorry, Pandora--” Pandora’s face crumpled and she set the flowers down beside the lamp before bring her hand up to cup Mor’s face.

“Shhh, we’ll talk, okay? Listen to me now,” Pandora said, her voice quiet but firm. Mor blinked and she felt a tear roll down her cheek. Pandora brushed it away with her thumb. “I love you.”

Every thought emptied out of Mor’s head.

Tears continued to roll down Mor’s cheeks as she opened and closed her mouth, trying to find words. Pandora looked worried and she was brushing her thumb against the back of Mor’s hand.

“You love me?” Mor said, her voice cracking as she choked down a sob. Pandora nodded, pushing back a piece of Mor’s hair. And then Mor burst into sobs, wrapping her arms around Pandora, her head falling to her girlfriend’s shoulder.

Mor knew she was shaking and that her nose was running, but Pandora--the girl she loved, the girl who loved her--was stroking her hair softly and was murmuring assurances in her ear. Assurances that only made her cry harder.

No one had ever loved her, not romantically. Yes, her cousins loved her, and her aunt Estelle, and her few friends, but that wasn’t the same. No, that wasn’t the same at all.

When she had managed to calm herself down enough to speak, Mor whispered in Pandora’s ear, “I love you too.” Pandora sighed in what Mor was sure was relief. Then Mor pecked kisses along Pandora’s jaw before cupping her girlfriend’s face and kissing her cheeks and forehead and nose and finally her lips.

Pandora wrapped her arms around Mor’s waist and held her close, though she pulled her lips back after a few moments. Mor pressed their foreheads together.

“You’re an ugly crier,” Pandora mumbled, nudging Mor’s still-runny nose.

“But you love me anyway,” Mor teased before nipping at Pandora’s lip. Pandora smiled.

“Yes, I do.”

\------------------

Rhys rushed to the door as soon as the doorbell rang, leaving his brothers, his best friend, and his girlfriend in the kitchen to continue setting rules for the cook off. Both Lucien and Cassian were taking this whole ordeal much too seriously.

He opened the front door and found Mor with Pandora attached to her side. They were both holding multiple bunches of roses. Rhys grinned.

“I take it my plan worked,” he said, opening the door for them to enter. Mor narrowed her eyes at him, but Pandora laughed.

“Your cousin is a hopeless romantic, carebear,” Pandora said to Mor who sighed and held out a small bundle of roses to Rhys.

“For me?” Rhys said dramatically and Mor rolled her eyes. He took the roses and placed a hand to his heart. “Thank you, my dear. Now, follow me into the kitchen where the chefs await.” He gestured out towards the kitchen.

“Thank you, kind sir,” Mor said sarcastically as her and Pandora started for the kitchen. Rhys smiled. He was glad they’d worked things out. The part of him that still held feelings for Lucien perked up at bit at the realisation that maybe it could work.

Rhys physically shook his head in an attempt to shut out that part of him, but it still whispered in his mind as he followed after his cousin. It still dreaded going back into the kitchen where Cresseida would cling to him.

He’d hoped she would get on with Cassian and Azriel, but Cassian was too bold for her and Azriel too mysterious. Rhys didn’t know what had changed, but Cress almost refused to speak to Lucien now. Her and Mor were still friendly, at least. Maybe it would give him some kind of reprieve today.

Indeed, Cresseida and Mor were chatting when Rhys entered the kitchen. Mor had handed her one of the rose bundles and Cresseida was smiling softly.

Pandora had gone to moderate Cassian and Lucien--who continued to bicker lightly over the rules--alongside Az. She had set the rest of the roses she’d been holding on the island. Lucien’s arms were crossed over his chest and Cassian was smirking at him from where he leaned on the counter a few feet away.

Rhys strolled over to them and stood next to Lucien, bracing his hand on the counter. “Have we come to an agreement?” Rhys drawled, looking between Cassian and Lucien. 

They both turned their heads to him and simultaneously stated opposing answers. A _yes_ from Cassian and a _no_ from Lucien. Rhys raised his eyebrows and Lucien huffed.

“Cassian here wants to give me a head start because he doesn’t think I’m good enough to finish in the same amount of time,” Lucien told Rhys. Their faces were quite close together and Rhys could see the reddish undertones in Lucien’s eyes. 

Lucien lowered his voice: “Personally, I think I could do better than him in less time, but I wasn’t rude enough to suggest giving _him_ a head start.” Rhys snorted and Lucien’s eyes lit up.

Rhys looked over at Cassian. “No head start,” he declared.

“I figured,” Cassian said, shaking his head, though he was grinning like he knew a secret as he glanced at Az and Pandora, who both looked somewhat exasperated. Rhys looked to Lucien, who was already watching him.

Lucien abruptly cleared his throat and looked to Cassian. “Right then, we’ll commence in ten minutes for the appetizer. Good luck, Cass.” Cassian smirked at him and winked before turning to speak to Azriel.

“I hope you’ll be rooting for me, pretty boy,” Lucien said smoothly as he turned back to him.

“Always,” Rhys said, that part of him still wanting to lean forward and capture Lucien’s mouth with his own. Rhys let out a breath and the corner of Lucien’s mouth twitched up before he breezed over to Pandora, leaving Rhys to his traitorous thoughts.

\---------------

Mor laughed as Rhys darted in to grab a bit of Lucien’s cupcake frosting and was swatted away, but only after he’d already scooped some out with his finger. His finger was in his mouth before Lucien could say a word. The fool was grinning around said finger.

“I thought you didn’t like vanilla,” Lucien said to him, furrowing his brows in mock confusion. 

Pandora snorted, covering her mouth with her hand. Cassian was snickering as he mixed. Mor even caught the ghost of a smile on Azriel’s lips across the room. The only person who didn’t seem amused was, unsurprisingly, Cresseida. Rhys didn’t notice as he sat back down beside her, his eyes still on Lucien.

After dessert, they were all relaxing in the living room, having quiet conversation. Cassian was asking Lucien, who was on the couch between him and Az, how he made the sauce for his chicken. He had gotten over losing pretty quickly, still maintaining that he was better, though he admitted Lucien was a very close second.

Mor was sitting in one of the armchairs, Pandora curled in her lap, her arm around Mor’s shoulders. Mor was fiddling with Pandora’s fingers as her girlfriend watched the rest of them. Mostly, she was watching Rhys across from them, who had Cresseida curled into him.

“Mor, look,” Pandora muttered in her ear, still watching Rhys. Mor looked over at Rhys, whose attention was definitely not on his girlfriend. “They’re eye-fucking.” Mor pinched Pandora playfully.

“Sexual tension you could cut with a knife, I swear to god,” she muttered, twirling a piece of Mor’s hair around her finger.

“Pandora!” Mor whisper-yelled. The rest of the group turned to look at them. Except Rhys, who was still staring at Lucien. Pandora snickered into Mor’s shoulder. Cauldron boil her. 

Eventually, they all returned to their conversations. Lucien glanced back over at Rhys, but quickly looked away when he saw Cresseida kissing his neck. Mor thought Lucien might’ve gagged.

Mor noticed how Lucien fell deeper into conversation with Cassian, their heads slightly bent together. She knew Rhys noticed it, too—looked bothered by it. Mor had the thought that if Lucien wasn’t already in love with Rhys, he would’ve slept with Cassian at least once already. The thought wasn’t entirely settling.

“I don’t know how you do this when I’m not here,” Pandora murmured to her. Mor smiled and kissed the top of Pandora’s head. She didn’t know what she did to deserve all this, but she was grateful, so unbelievably grateful for this happiness.


	24. Chapter 24

Rhysand found that spending time with Cresseida without his family and friends around was a much more enjoyable experience. None of them seemed to like her very much, though they’d never say that to his face, or hers. 

Not that she liked them either. At least the feeling was mutual.

They’d been dating for two months now, and luckily Cress hadn’t tried to make any moves past long makeouts on the couch. Rhys didn’t want to see the look on her face when he turned her down. He just...wasn’t feeling it yet.

In all honesty, he wasn’t completely feeling their entire relationship, but he played it off as it just being new and fresh. He hadn’t had a girlfriend in a while after all, certainly not since moving to LA.

The two of them were sitting on the sofa in his living room now, watching whatever was on TV. They were going to see a movie later, but Cresseida had insisted they hang out beforehand. Before their every move would be tracked by photographs.

His phone began to ring softly from beside him, and he picked it up to find it was his mother. Slightly worried about the reason she was calling, Rhys immediately answered the call. Cresseida looked up at him with furrowed brows.

“Hey, Mom. Is something wrong?” he asked quickly before she got the chance to speak. Cress leaned back into him and took his hand. His mother laughed on the other end of the line and Rhys relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief. 

“Nothing is wrong, darling. Can I not just call my son?” Rhys could hear the smile in her voice but also the light annoyance at his worry and assumption.

“Of course you can, I’m just the one who usually calls you,” Rhys replied, a smile playing on his lips.

“Mmhmm, well, I see you have a girlfriend. One which you neglected to inform me of,” his mom said, sounding only slightly bitter.

“Yeah, sorry, life’s just been a bit hectic, I guess.” Cress rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand.

“No need to explain yourself to me, Rhys. I’m a grown adult, you know.” Rhys chuckled. “I understand being busy.” He assured her that he knew. 

“She’s quite pretty, I think,” she said in regards to Cress. Rhysand looked down at Cresseida and hummed his agreement.

But then his mom said, casually, “What about that redhead?”

“Lucien?” Rhys blurted abruptly, and Cresseida stilled.

“Yes, him,” his mother confirmed. “How’s he?” Rhysand swallowed, looking down at his girlfriend.

“He’s good, why do you ask?”

“I’ve just not seen him in pictures very much lately, that’s all.” Right because he’d been spending more time with Cress than he was with his best friend. Rhys made a mental note to call him soon.

Even still, he said, “He’s still my best friend, Mom.” Cresseida leaned forward to pick up her drink from the coffee table before standing up.

“I’m going to refill it,” she mouthed, pointing to the kitchen before walking away. Her glass was still half full. Rhys didn’t dwell on it. Cresseida disliked Lucien the most, that he knew for a fact.

“Okay, I get it, no need to be brash.” His mother sounded partly exasperated and partly reprimanding. Rhys sighed. “How’s Mor? Does her girlfriend treat her right?” Rhys was glad for the more neutral discussion topic.

“Mor’s good, too. And yes, Pandora treats her right. She gets on well with everyone.” Except Cresseida, but then again, no one else got on well with his girlfriend anyway, for whatever reason. “Her and Lucien are quite close, I think.” 

He hoped the bitterness didn’t show in his voice, for he was a little bit bitter about that fact. Lucien was supposed to be _his_ best friend. He guessed it wasn’t fair since they’d both been a bit distant lately, but it still gnawed at him.

“That’s nice, honey,” his mom said blandly. He wondered why she was suddenly detached.

“You could’ve just called Mor and asked, you know.” Rhys twisted his family ring around on his finger.

“I don’t trust her to know what’s good for her,” she stated, and Rhys laughed softly.

“Good point,” he said. It was then that he noticed that Cress had yet to return from the kitchen. “Hey, Mom, I’ve got to go in a minute…”

“Amaris misses you,” his mother said quietly. Rhys felt a pang of guilt for not speaking to his sister enough. “Give her a call soon, will you? And maybe come visit sometime, Rhys. We haven’t seen you in months.”

“I will, Mom,” he said softly. “I’ll see if I can come visit soon.” His mother sighed.

“Alright, sweetie. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Mom. Bye.” And then he hung up.

\--------------

“You bitch!” Pandora exclaimed, gaping at Lucien as he continued to steer his car on Rainbow Road, a grin on his face. He’d just thrown a shell back and knocked Pandora’s car off the track. “You’ll fucking pay for this!”

“Sure I will,” he said dryly, and she elbowed him, which only made his smile grow.

Pandora was honestly relieved to see him smiling, though she’d never tell him that. He’d been a bit down recently, quite tense all the time. But he was relaxed right now, and comfortable. Today was the only time she’d ever seen him in sweatpants and a t-shirt. 

And they were sitting on his living room floor playing Mario Kart and eating Chinese takeout for goodness sake. Had he done this with Rhys before he started dating Cresseida? Pandora was sure they had, but she wasn’t going to ask him about it. Mor would’ve, and it probably wouldn’t have gone well.

But Mor was at home right now, enjoying a night to herself after an audition earlier today. She’d called to tell Pandora that it had gone well and to get her to confirm Lucien’s birthday, for which they were planning a surprise party. It had been Rhys’s idea.

Just then, Lucien completed his final lap, making him the winner, and turned to her as he said casually, “What was that about payback?”

“Shut up,” she snapped. Lucien broke out laughing, as she scowled. Her scowl faded as his laughter did, and she scrambled for her phone. “Wait, wait, I have to show Mor that I got you to laugh!”

Lucien shook his head in exasperation, but continued to laugh softly as she took pictures. She smiled at him before sending them.

Lucien’s phone chimed and he grabbed it from off the coffee table, his smile falling. “You sent them to the family group chat.” Shit.

“I’m sorry, I meant to send them to the one with just you, me, and Mor,” Pandora said quickly. Lucien shook his head.

“No, it’s alright,” he said, looking up at her a bit dazedly. But it wasn’t alright because the family group chat was everyone in their group, including Rhys (excluding Cresseida, who no one--not even Rhys, Pandora figured--thought she was part of their group). 

_Cassian: Aha, you’ve cured the grumpy fox_

_Carebear: Mission: Completed_

_Azriel: If I’m seeing correctly, he’s just beat you in Mario Kart, Pandora._

Pandora watched Lucien as the messages came in, huffing at Azriel’s observation. But Lucien was smiling softly as he typed a reply.

_Ginger: She’s horrible at it._

If Pandora had had her shoe nearby she would’ve thrown it at him. Instead she settled for smacking his arm, at which he chuckled.

_Pandora: says you *eye roll emoji*_

_The Dumbass™: Don’t be too hard on yourself lol_

_The Dumbass™: He beat me and I thought I was a master_

Pandora looked over at Lucien to gauge his reaction. He blinked and rolled his eyes, giving a little shake of his head.

_Ginger: She’s worse than you, Rhys. Don’t boost her ego._

_Carebear: Hey, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about_

_Ginger: Apologies, lovely Mor, but I only speak truth._

_The Dumbass™: Of course she’s worse than me foxboy_

_The Dumbass™: You just barely beat me every time_

So they had done this before. And often, it seemed.

_Ginger: Keep telling yourself that._

_Cassian: I trust Lucien more than you Rhys ngl_

_The Dumbass™: Betrayal_

_The Dumbass™: From my own brother_

_The Dumbass™: Smh_

“He’s such a fucking drama queen,” Lucien muttered, though there was still a small smile on his lips. He grabbed his takeout off the table and continued eating as he looked out of the windows at the city.

“We should go out to a bar or something, have some fun,” Pandora said after some time of eating and discussion of their favourite TV shows. 

“This isn’t fun?” he asked and Pandora sighed.

“It is, but, Luce, you haven’t been out for fun in weeks, dare I say months.” Lucien huffed and rolled his eyes. “C’mon…” She nudged his shoulder with hers.

“That requires getting dressed,” Lucien grumbled, glancing sidelong at her. 

“You could always go as you are now. I’m sure no one would mind.” Lucien pursed his lips and picked at the last of his fried rice. “Rhys wouldn’t,” she added. He glared at her. 

Good.

“I’m going to change,” he told her as he stood up with a sigh.

\-----------

Lucien had not yet come to regret his decision to go out for drinks with Pandora. He was actually finding it entertaining to watch people doing karaoke and seeing how Pandora turned down every person who hit on her. She was sweeter with the girls, if anything, but she actually had a reason to be turning them down. She was actually in a relationship.

Lucien couldn’t say the same for himself, though he’d turned down no less than ten people tonight.

The most recent one was walking away when Pandora turned to him. “Why do you keep declining?” Lucien shrugged and sipped from his beer.

“Because I don’t want to.”

Pandora snorted. “You’re telling me that you, Lucien Vanserra, a rich and famous and attractive man, do not want to have sex? Just for fun?” Lucien shook his head, surveying the tables of people from where he leaned against the bar. “You’ve shattered my idea of bachelors in Hollywood.”

Lucien rolled his eyes and took another sip of his beer. He knew she was trying to get him to have fun, but he was having enough fun already. At least that’s what he was telling himself.

“You really don’t want to?” Pandora asked a bit tentatively. Lucien frowned and glanced sidelong at her.

“My heart wouldn’t be in it.” Pandora huffed even as her face paled slightly.

“This isn’t about your heart,” she said evenly. “This is about you destressing, letting go.” She moved her arms in a kind of ‘go with the flow’ motion, but Lucien shook his head though the corners of his mouth twitched up a bit.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” She punched his arm playfully, and he turned to her.

“Are you peer pressuring me into having casual sex?” said Lucien, faking a scandalised tone.

“Yes,” she said plainly and Lucien barked a laugh.

“Fine then, just for tonight.” Pandora pumped her fist in the air in triumph. “Are you prepared to wingwoman me?”

Her eyes trailed to a point over his shoulder. “I don’t think that’s necessary.” Lucien turned his head to follow her gaze to find a handsome guy walking towards him. Pandora patted his shoulder. “Go get ‘em, ginger.”

Lucien whipped around to scowl at her but she was already walking away. She turned back to give him a thumbs up and then she disappeared into the crowd.

\------------

Rhys needed a drink and time away from anyone he knew. Which is why he was on his way to Rita’s. 

Cassian and Azriel would likely be at home, and while he still had a key to Mor’s apartment, he knew for a fact that she was staying in tonight. And he wouldn’t go to Lucien’s apartment if he wasn’t home, which he was. With Pandora.

Rhys brushed off the jealousy that gnawed at him as he reached the entrance to Rita’s. He could hear someone singing karaoke inside.

Upon opening the door and entering the bar, Rhys stilled as he took in the scene. Well, not really the scene, mostly just the fact that his best friend was in the middle of singing _I Will Always Love You_ on the slightly raised stage in the back.

Lucien had to be just past tipsy to be doing karaoke in front of so many people. Pandora had probably convinced him to do it; she was a fun person. 

Rhys swallowed and forced himself to walk towards the bar, though his eyes continued to watch Lucien, who stumbled over his words as their eyes met. Lucien blinked a few times and looked down at the lyrics.

“So goodbye,” Lucien sang as Rhys ordered a drink. He could still feel Lucien’s eyes on him as he leaned against the bar and slowly looked over at the stage. “Please don’t--cry.” Lucien furrowed his brows as he looked down at the lyrics. “We both know,” he looked up at Rhys, “I’m not what you need.”

Rhys blinked rapidly and turned back to the bar, bracing his hands on the counter and letting out a shaky breath. Lucien was still singing behind him. The bartender slid his beer in front of him and he nodded his thanks before taking a large gulp.

“I hope--life treats you kind.” Lucien smiled weakly at Rhys as he turned to look at his friend once more. “And I hope, you have all you dreamed of.” Lucien’s eyes kept flicking down to the lyrics and it seemed like he didn’t know what to do with his hands.

“And I wish you--joy and happiness.” Lucien’s smile and eyes were soft and sad, and Rhys could feel a few other pairs of eyes glancing over at him. He sipped from his beer. “But above all, I wish you--love.” Lucien squeezed his eyes shut for a brief second and Rhys could feel unwanted tears in his own eyes. 

“And I...will always love you.” Lucien’s voice was a bit shaky and his throat bobbed as he shifted on his feet. “I will always love you. I will always--” Lucien shook his head slightly as he finished, “love you.” 

Lucien gave Rhys a tight-lipped smile that was more like a grimace and a little shrug. Then he backed up and gave the crowd a little wave before hurrying off the stage as they clapped. Rhys tried to track him through the crowd but he quickly lost him.

He made to enter and find him, but Pandora appeared in front of him, placing a hand on his chest.

“Do _not_ ,” she said, giving him a shove. “Leave him be, Rhysand. You made your choice already.”

“Pandora--”

“ _No_. Don’t try to convince me to let you talk to him, not after all that.” Her face was hard like he’d never seen it. “I have half a mind to drag you out of here right now.” He didn’t doubt she could do it, would do it.

She looked him up and down, surveying his no doubt terrified face. She shook her head at whatever she saw. “You’re a sorry excuse for a best friend and you don’t deserve him. He--” Her frown deepened. “You are the densest person I have ever met, and I have no idea how your friends and family put up with you.”

She sighed and her face softened a bit, though she pointed a finger at him. “You better make this birthday the best he’s ever had.” Not that there was a very high standard, but Rhys nodded quickly. Pandora looked out at the crowd and Rhys took that as his okay to walk away, but as he turned to go, she grabbed his arm.

“Please know that the only reason I put up with you is because Mor and Lucien love you and care about you, despite your many, many faults,” she hissed. Rhys swallowed before she was gone, leaving Rhys to mull over her words.


	25. Chapter 25

_Thanksgiving_

Despite the fact that Pandora had told her nothing but good things about her family, Mor was still afraid of meeting them. Pandora had somehow convinced her to have Thanksgiving dinner down in San Diego with her family.

Meeting Desiree hadn’t been a big deal, but Pandora’s _parents_? That was a completely different, utterly terrifying story.

With Desiree, it had helped that she was living with Pandora and was almost always hanging about after school and on the weekends. But because Pandora’s parents lived so far away, this was a rare thing for her to see them and she _had_ to make a good first impression.

Mor had never gotten this far in a relationship with someone, and she wasn’t entirely sure how to act about the whole thing. Though Pandora had assured her that she’d be perfectly fine. Told her to just be herself, but wasn’t that what everyone said?

They were stuck in traffic now, and Pandora was leaning against the steering wheel and staring at the car in front of her like she could get it to move just by doing so.

“Dora, you’re going to hurt your eyes if you don’t blink,” Desiree said in the back seat. Pandora huffed and fell back against her seat.

“We’re going to be late if these stupid cars don’t start moving,” Pandora grumbled.

“My love, you’re the one who had us leave at rush hour,” Mor said matter-of-factly. “The morning rush hour.” Pandora glared at her, and Mor gave her a reassuring smile. “We’ll be fine.”

And they were. They got to Pandora’s parents house around noon, having stopped for a small, late breakfast on the way.

When they pulled into the driveway, Desiree was out of the car in moments and walking swiftly towards the front door. Mor, on the other hand, froze in her seat as Pandora took her keys out of the ignition and began opening her car door.

She paused when she noticed Mor still sitting in her seat, letting the door fall closed again as she sat back down. Mor worried at her bottom lip.

“What’s wrong?” Pandora asked, clearly concerned.

“I’m just nervous is all,” Mor said as she fiddled with her necklace. Pandora sighed and took her hand.

“They’re going to love you,” she said gently. “And you know why? Because I love you and they’re the ones who raised me.” Mor raised an eyebrow. “It carries over obviously.” At that, Mor laughed and Pandora scrunched up her nose.

“I love you,” Mor managed to get out over her fading laughter. Pandora smiled and kissed her cheek quickly before releasing her hand and getting out of the car. Mor shook her head though she was still smiling as she took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.

Pandora was making a grabbing motion with her hand as Mor rounded the front of the car. She snatched Mor’s hand as soon as it was in grabbing distance and practically dragged her towards the front door. 

Pandora looked Mor up and down as Desiree rang the doorbell.

“I’m glad you wore flats,” she murmured. “You’re already so much taller than me.”

“I didn’t think that was a bad thing,” Mor replied, sliding her gaze down to her girlfriend. Pandora opened her mouth to respond, but the front door opened to reveal a short African-American woman and Pandora broke into a grin.

“Mama!” Desiree exclaimed before pulling her mother into a hug. Mor had only ever seen the Spera children excited to see their mother, never anyone else, and certainly not herself. Mor had always been slightly envious of her cousins and their loving mother despite the fact that Estelle practically treated Mor like another daughter.

“Oh, Dee, how are you, honey?” their mom asked, pulling back and holding Desiree at arms length.

“I’m good, I’m good.”

Their mother nodded and said, “And school?” Desiree looked back at Pandora, who answered.

“School is good, too. Don’t worry about Dee, Mama. She’s got it all figured out.” The way Pandora spoke of Desiree so fondly made Mor long for a sister. Amaris was close, but she was so young and it wasn’t the same. 

“Oh, baby, I know. C’mere,” their mom said, letting go of Desiree and beckoning Pandora closer. Pandora released Mor’s hand to hug her mother tightly and quickly before turning back to Mor, her arm still around her mother’s waist.

“Mama, this is Mor,” Pandora said, her smile almost blinding.

“Ah, the girl who has captured my daughter’s heart.” Pandora’s mother took her in and then whispered something in Pandora’s ear. Pandora nodded, a little laugh coming out of her mouth as she met Mor’s eyes. “I’m Maria.” She put her hand on her heart with a warm smile.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Mor said.

“Well, come on in, sweetheart,” Maria said, opening her arms to Mor. Mor fought back her tears as she let Maria’s arms engulf her. When she met Pandora’s eyes, the girl’s face showed concern and she mouthed _I love you_. Mor closed her eyes and sighed, letting go of the woman in front of her.

“I’ll see you two in a minute,” Maria said, squeezing Pandora’s arm before she went inside.

Mor whimpered as Pandora took her hands and lifted them to her lips. “Sorry I’m such a mess.”

Pandora shook her head and put Mor’s hands to her heart. “She loves you.” Mor smiled weakly and pressed her forehead to Pandora’s. “You deserved better, Mor.”

Mor shrugged and Pandora squeezed her hands with a huff of exasperation. “Let’s go inside, carebear.” Mor nodded and kissed Pandora’s forehead before letting Pandora lead her inside.

\-------------

Rhys laughed as Azriel smacked Cassian upside the head for stealing a bite of mashed potatoes off his plate.

“Get your own,” Az said. Cassian mouthed the words to Lucien mimicingly, earning him a glare from Az but a grin from Lucien. 

Rhys was glad it was just the four of them tonight, that Cresseida had had her own family to share the holiday with. He’d met Varian yesterday and had actually been somewhat intimidated by him.

But like this, it was just family. Though Mor was missing and Rhys felt a small pang of longing for his cousin. She was happy, and Rhys was happy for that, but he’d been so confused lately and her absence--not just today, but in general--had left him without a confidant.

What about Lucien?

Rhys could practically hear the universe asking him the question as he watched his friend interact with his brothers. As it had many times, even before Pandora’s words at Rita’s the other night.

_You’re a sorry excuse for a best friend…_

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Lucien--he would do so with his life. Or that he didn’t think he could confide in him. In truth, Rhys had never been more comfortable sharing things with another person than he was with Lucien. He could tell him everything. Everything except about this dull, nagging feeling--a voice, really--that kept telling him he was making a mistake.

He tried his best to ignore that feeling usually, but today it was more difficult. What with Lucien smiling and laughing and looking so relaxed. So at odds with how he’d been at Rita’s, though Rhys also tried to ignore the look that had been in those russet eyes when they’d fallen upon him.

Rhys took a long sip of wine, and immediately felt a brief glance from Lucien. By the time Rhys shifted his own eyes to his friend, Lucien had already looked away. 

Rhys barely contained his frustrated sigh before he continued eating and chatting with his family.

They hadn’t discussed what had happened that night at Rita’s. Mostly because Rhys didn’t want to think about the implications of it. Just like he didn’t want to think about the implications of his dream two months ago or any dream he’d had since then...

Lucien’s birthday was next week, but no one spoke of it. Mostly because they were planning him a surprise party, but also because Lucien was quite quiet about his birthday. Rhys knew it had always been a miserable time for him, and he tried to hide what the date even was from everyone in his life.

But Rhys had somehow managed to wear him down enough to where he told him. November 28th. A Sagittarius, not that Rhys had looked into it.

A sharp knock came from the front door, and they all paused before Rhys went to answer it, wondering who would be at his door.

The man he saw upon opening the door was no one he would’ve expected. Not a pair of old ladies talking about the bible, not people fundraising for this or that. No, this man looked vaguely similar to his best friend, only taller, and paler, and infinitely colder.

“I’m looking for Lucien,” the man said. His voice lacked any emotion that Rhys could glean.

“Might I ask who you are?” Rhys said, tapping his finger against the door where he gripped it. The man rolled his eyes, but answered the question.

“His brother.”

\---------------

Lucien continued talking to Cassian and Azriel after Rhys stood from the table and went to answer the door. He still marvelled a bit at the idea of having solid friends, just friends.

Looking back, his friendship with Rhys had never been just that. There had been a deeper bond from the start, one that he’d desperately tried to suppress. Clearly, it hadn’t worked. It left Lucien feeling like he was always tiptoeing around the truth.

Rhys didn’t know about the almost nightly partners--both men and women--Lucien had started bringing home from assorted bars. It wasn’t that he was trying to hide it, he just...didn’t think it was necessary for him to know.

Rhys called his name from the foyer, and Lucien rose from his seat, brows furrowed. Azriel and Cassian looked equally confused as Lucien exited the kitchen.

“What is it?” Lucien asked as he neared Rhys, who was still holding the door open slightly. Rhys looked back at him, frowning a bit.

“It’s your brother,” Rhys mouthed, and Lucien’s brows rose.

As Lucien reached the door, Rhys grabbed his arm to prevent him from opening the door wider. He leaned down and murmured in his ear.

“You don’t have to talk to him,” he said. “I can just shut the door in his face.” Lucien shook his head.

“It’s probably important.” Rhys nodded, even as he bit his lip and glanced through the crack in the door. Lucien huffed and shrugged him off. “Shoo, it’s fine.” 

Rhys looked conflicted for a moment and Lucien couldn’t tell if he was deciding whether or not to go back to the kitchen, or if he was deciding whether or not to embrace him--maybe more--before he left Lucien to his brother.

Lucien sincerely hoped it was the former.

Rhys nodded and walked away a moment later. Lucien watched him go, waiting for him to turn the corner before opening the door to his brother. Rhys stole a glance back at him just before he entered the kitchen. Lucien could’ve sworn he looked worried.

When he was out of sight, Lucien rolled his neck and opened the door.

“Finally,” Eris said, his mouth twisting to the side. “I thought maybe you’d tell him to just shut the door in my face.”

“I debated it,” Lucien replied, crossing his arms over his chest. Eris tracked the movement and hummed. It was a defensive one, but Lucien didn’t care. 

He let Eris into the house, but didn’t bring him any further than the foyer. No need for him to get acquainted with the townhouse.

“Why are you here? And how did you even know I was here?”

“Father has eyes on you,” Eris said. Frankly, he sounded bored, which was probably one of the better options. But of fucking course Beron had eyes on him. Still, Lucien contained a growl. “I’m here because mom wanted to check on you.”

Lucien was immediately struck with all-consuming guilt. He hadn’t spoken to his mother in months. In fact, Lucien didn’t think he’d spoken to her since Christmas last year. What a shit son he was.

“How is she?” Lucien said roughly. Eris doesn’t answer for a moment, his eyes scanning what he could see of the interior of the house. Lucien regretted letting him in.

“The same as she always is,” Eris said plainly, meeting Lucien’s eyes. Lucien pressed his lips into a thin line. “She misses you as usual.” Eris almost sounded bitter at that fact.

“It’s not that easy to get in contact,” Lucien said tightly.

“You could at least try,” Eris snapped. If Lucien hadn’t been trained as a child not to flinch at such outbursts, he would’ve, but he didn’t even blink. It was still a struggle not to slap his brother in that moment. 

“It’s not like you do anything to stop him,” Lucien hissed, and Eris blinked and his anger from a moment ago was gone except for a flicker in his eyes. “And you still live in that house!”

“You’re the one who left.”

“You never got beaten on!” Lucien had been able to hear voices in the kitchen until that moment. The house fell silent, but Lucien continued.

“Don’t pretend like anything in my life was ever easy, or simple.” Lucien shook his head at the memories flooding his head. “My decision to leave was made to get myself out of an abusive situation. Do not think that I don’t regret leaving our mother every. Single. Day.”

Lucien paused again, and Eris just stared. “But it doesn’t matter because I’m not really out, am I?” Lucien smiled bitterly. “I’ll always be in. We’ll all always be in. At least until the day our father dies.” Eris flashed him the same bitter smile.

“Even then he’ll find a way to control us from the grave,” Eris said, and Lucien rolled his eyes.

“You’ve never had an issue with his control,” Lucien said harshly.

Eris chuckled, picking at his nails. “I guess you’re right about that.” Eris glanced up and studied him for a moment. “It seems you’ve grown somewhat of a backbone.” Lucien frowned, and Eris nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets. It seemed like a gesture that showed that he understood.

“I’ll make sure they aren’t monitoring mother’s phone tonight, if you want to call her.” Eris’s voice was almost gentle. Almost. But Lucien nodded anyway and Eris turned to go. 

When his hand gripped the door handle he turned back to look at Lucien: “Have a nice evening, little brother.” Then he nodded his goodbye and was gone. 

Lucien sighed before walking back to the kitchen. His friends were still silent at the table when he entered. They weren’t even eating.

Lucien swallowed as he sat back down next to Rhys, who leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Will you call her?” Lucien nodded, his brows still furrowed, his hands flat on the table. 

He let out a slow breath as Rhys gently took his hand and squeezed it in comfort. He tried not to stare at their hands, but he did, just for a few seconds. He then looked across the table at an equally empathetic Cassian and Azriel.

Thankful. He was so thankful for these friends of his.


	26. Chapter 26

_November 28th_

Lucien had indeed spoken to his mother that night. She’d been so happy to finally hear from him, and had wished him a happy Thanksgiving as well as softly sang him an early happy birthday. Lucien wished it was easier to see her--he missed her dearly.

He planned on spending today alone. His birthdays had never been good, sometimes only mediocre as he’d spent them in the garden with his mother, but usually Beron would interrupt and ruin the day and force him to go hunting or play golf. All the while, his brothers teased him, if not worse.

Lucien let out a slow breath as he swiped his key card to go to his apartment. Part of him hoped Rhys had forgotten his birthday and that was why he hadn’t heard from him today. It would make being alone so much easier.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened on his apartment. It was dark and quiet except for the late afternoon sun shining through the windows and the noise he made walking down the hall to the kitchen.

He turned on the kitchen light as he passed through the doorway and was making to set his bag on the breakfast bar when his friends jumped up.

“Surprise!” they exclaimed. Lucien gaped, blinked, and then his eyes tracked Rhys moving towards him with a stupidly wide grin on his face. 

Before he could even think to tell Rhys he didn’t like surprises, his friend was pulling him into a crushing hug, and Lucien couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“You’re the only person alive who would do this,” Lucien said quietly, pressing his forehead into Rhys’s shoulder.

“Yeah, cause I’m the only person alive who knows when your birthday is,” Rhys said, squeezing him tighter. Lucien let out a full laugh and made to pull back, but Rhys kept him in. “Happy birthday, Lucien.” His voice was so soft and loving and it made Lucien’s eyes burn a bit.

Rhys squeezed him once more before releasing him, and though Lucien wouldn’t meet his eyes for fear of what he might see, he could feel how strong Rhys’s gaze was. 

Lucien noted the fact that Cresseida was here as he walked to embrace his other friends. At least Rhys hadn’t made it a huge ordeal. Lucien didn’t know how he would’ve handled it.

But this...just this small gathering...Lucien realised how much he’d wanted something like this. His smile was genuine.

He and Pandora did their little handshake when he reached her before she laughed and threw her arms around him. “Happy birthday, ginger.” He ruffled her hair when she let go and she scrunched up her nose.

“I hope that isn’t for me,” Lucien said in regards to the small box Mor held in her hands.

“Of course it is,” Mor replied cheerfully as she gave him a quick hug. Lucien groaned.

“Rhys told me you’re horrible at gift giving.”

Mor gaped and glared at her cousin, who shrugged and laughed.

“He’s right,” Cassian chimed in, and Mor swatted his arm. Cassian wasn’t fazed by it and winked at Lucien. Lucien snorted but took the box when Mor held it out to him.

“Thank you, Mor,” he said, giving her a warm smile. She smiled back, looking relieved.

Lucien said hello to Cassian and Azriel before Rhys got out the wine and pulled him over next to him as he filled the glasses with a flair. His heart swelled with love as Rhys handed him a glass with twinkling eyes and a dazzling smile.

He watched Rhys as the others took their glasses. Rhys dipped his chin to Pandora after she’d done the same to him. Cauldron knew what that meant. Lucien didn’t think they’d been getting on well recently, and he selfishly assumed it had to do with him…

His heart twanged in pain as he remembered Cresseida, standing across the room. Even as Rhys turned to look at him again, his face still alight with his exquisite smile, Lucien felt that pain, that longing.

“I know we don’t have champagne,” Rhys began, “but I’d like to make a toast.” Lucien closed his eyes and shook his head with a smile.

“Of course he would,” he heard Cassian mutter to Azriel. He snorted and opened his eyes to meet Rhys’s gaze.

“Who would’ve guessed that the grumpy redhead movie producer would end up being the best friend I’ve ever had?”

“Not me,” Mor mumbled, and Lucien had to press his lips together to keep from laughing. Rhys huffed and looked up at the ceiling, then back down at Lucien with a softer smile than before, but one that held more emotion.

“You are my vanilla-ice-cream-loving, Mario-Kart-winning, In-N-Out-order-remembering, sunrise-watching, light-sleeping, should’ve-done-debate-club--” Rhys took a breath and Lucien could feel his face beginning to crumple. “ _Best friend_.” Just for a moment, Rhys’s face showed nothing but utter longing and Lucien’s heart cracked. He wanted to just kiss him and damn it all...

But then it was gone, and Rhys raised his glass. “Happy birthday, Lucien.”

\--------------

Rhys didn’t care that he’d been pretty much clinging to Lucien all evening. He somehow found a million reasons to casually touch him--an arm over his shoulders, a hand on his arm, or fingers on his cheek, or a hand sliding up and down his back. 

Right now, it was an arm over his shoulders on the couch, to which Lucien leaned in slightly. Rhys didn’t know why he didn’t try to ignore it.

He turned his head to speak in Lucien’s ear. “I’m sorry Cresseida’s here.” Lucien shook his head absently, even as he shifted around a bit. “She insisted on knowing where I was going, and then on coming.”

“It’s fine.”

Rhys’s brows furrowed as he stared at the side of Lucien’s face. “No, it’s not.” Lucien sighed and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling for a moment. “I know you don’t get on well.” Lucien rolled his eyes and grunted in agreement. “I hope she didn’t mess this up for you.”

Lucien lifted his head, a gentle smile on his lips. “You’re truly concerned.” Rhys nodded, and Lucien patted his cheek with his hand. “I’m okay, pretty boy. More than okay, actually.” Lucien’s eyes flicked over his face as he smiled.

Lucien glanced over Rhys’s shoulder and his hand dropped to his lap, his face falling a bit. Rhys twisted around to find Cresseida walking over to them. He gave her a smile, albeit a weak one. Lucien leaned forward to hear the story Mor was currently telling as Cresseida reached the couch.

His girlfriend leaned down, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck from behind, her hands resting on his chest. She kissed his neck and then whispered in his ear, “Can we go somewhere and talk?” Rhysand swallowed, but nodded, and he knew she was grinning behind him.

Rhysand didn’t dare glance at Lucien as Cresseida took his hand and led him towards the hallway.

\----------------

Lucien had never envied Mor and Pandora until now. They were singing Dancing Queen karaoke, and Mor was watching Pandora with that wonderfilled look of love. They were so happy and carefree, dancing with each other around the living room, and Lucien desperately wished for that.

He’d come into the kitchen both to refill his wine and to breathe. He loved his friends, but the longer Rhys was off with Cresseida, the more Lucien began to think she’d convinced him to leave with her.

Lucien didn’t like that thought at all, but it vanished when a broad hand brushed over his shoulder. He realised he’d been staring at his now-full wine glass and looked over at the body now standing next to him, the slightly rumpled clothing.

“Hey,” Rhys said softly, his hand still resting on Lucien’s shoulder. “Cresseida and I--” Lucien braced himself for the blow. “We got in a fight.” Lucien narrowed his eyes and looked up at him.

“Oh? Was that before, during, or after you took her to bed?” Rhys blinked. Shock. At the fact that Lucien knew? Or the fact that he’d asked such a question. Lucien averted his eyes. “This is my apartment, you know.”

Rhys frowned. “I didn’t take her to bed. She wanted to. She tried to, actually, but I didn’t--You really think I’d leave, on your birthday, to sleep with Cresseida?” He _had_ really thought that, but Lucien just crossed his arms and shrugged, looking towards the living room.

“Lucien.” Rhys turned Lucien’s body so his was facing him fully, though Lucien still didn’t look at him. But then Rhys cupped his face saying, “Hey, look at me.” So he did, swallowing hard at how close their faces were. 

“You’re my priority.” Lucien let out a slow breath, and Rhys continued, his hands still warm on Lucien’s face. “Cresseida and I fought over why I didn’t want to sleep with her.” 

Lucien wondered if it had to do with his previous statement, but still, he said, “So will you find a way to make it up to her?” The words felt vile in his mouth. Rhys chuckled and shook his head. “What?”

“You’re an idiot,” Rhys said, and then kissed him. Lucien sucked in a breath of surprise, one hand reaching up to touch Rhys’s against his cheek. 

There was a collection of whistles and ‘oooh’s from the living room. Lucien managed to pull back from Rhys’s slow, continuous attack via his lips to glare at their friends. Rhys’s hands began slowly trailing across Lucien’s torso.

“Shut up,” Lucien said to their friends in the living room. It seemed like they rolled their eyes as one.

Rhys pressed a kiss behind his ear. “Why are we even friends with them in the first place?” Lucien turned back and wrapped his arms around Rhys’s neck.

“They were your friends first.” Rhys nodded and hummed, absently fiddling with a piece of Lucien’s hair.

“Pandora’s yours though.” 

Lucien huffed. “ _Technically_ ,” he said. “She was Mor’s first.” Rhys rolled his eyes and Lucien grinned. Rhys smiled back and leaned in to kiss him again, but Lucien held up a hand to pause, studying Rhys’s face. “Is this real?”

It wasn’t, though Lucien wished it was. The situation went more like this:

Lucien wondered if it had to do with his previous statement, but still, he said, “So will you find a way to make it up to her?” The words felt vile in his mouth. Rhys’s hands dropped from his face.

“Well, I have to, don’t I?” What answer did he want? Lucien wasn’t sure.

“No,” he said, and Rhys’s eyebrows raised. “I mean, if you don’t want to, then don’t.” Rhys shook his head.

“I want to,” Rhys said. Lucien nodded turning back to his wine. Rhys was still watching him, but Lucien didn’t want to look at him right now, so he took his glass and walked back to the living room.

\---------------

Rhys had lied. He didn’t really want to reconcile with Cresseida, but if he didn’t there was no reason for him to not be with Lucien, besides the fact that it terrified him. Which it did, even now, but he wasn’t about to tell him that.

Cresseida didn’t get it. Mostly because he refused to talk about anything of importance with her. She didn’t like that. Nor did she like how close he was with Lucien. And she was convinced he felt something more for Lucien that he didn’t feel for her.

She wasn’t wrong, Rhys just wasn’t ready to accept it, act on it. Not yet.

An idea suddenly struck him, and he texted Cresseida, asking if they could get coffee sometime tomorrow.

Lucien rested his head on Rhys’s shoulder, and Rhys froze. “I’m sorry.” The statement was so vague, but Rhys didn’t ask what for, nor did Lucien tell him. Rhys didn’t say he shouldn’t be sorry, either--even though he shouldn’t be. Rhys didn’t say anything at all, just let Lucien link their arms, leaning farther into him.

Rhys didn’t check his phone as it buzzed in his pocket. He didn’t care what Cresseida’s answer was, not right now, surrounded by his friends, his best friend curled up next to him on the couch. No, he didn’t care at all.

\-----------------

Cresseida had agreed to meet Rhys for coffee, and they were now sat in a little cafe. Silence hung between them as Cresseida blew softly on her latte.

“You were right,” Rhys blurted, not able to contain himself any longer. Cresseida’s brows raised and she set down her coffee, leaning back in her seat.

“Oh?”

Rhys sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “You were right about me and my stupid feelings.” Cresseida nodded. She didn’t seem angry, a little sad maybe, but mostly understanding.

She leaned forward a bit and ran her finger along the lip of her mug. “For a while, I thought it was just--” She looked up at him and frowned, then shook her head. “I recognised it quite easily after seeing you two interact, and it made me angry.” Rhys frowned now, but Cresseida’s face softened more. “You both--You care more for him than you ever have for me.”

Rhys didn’t deny what she said, and she paused to contemplate, before sighing. “You’re both fools, but at least now I won’t be in the way.” Rhys began shaking his head, and Cresseida’s brows furrowed.

“I can’t do it,” Rhys said roughly, and Cresseida blinked.

“You can’t--” Realisation lit on her face. “Oh...Do you want to talk about it?” Rhys shook his head, and Cresseida nodded to herself, then tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “What do you want to do then, Rhys?”

“We could continue dating--” A frown from her. “I mean, pretend dating.” Cresseida leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s better we keep this up press-wise anyway. Brings more attention to the movie, yes?” She nodded.

“I’m guessing we’re not to tell even our friends that it’s fake,” Cresseida said, lifting her mug to her lips.

“No one needs to know.” Cresseida’s face held pity. She didn’t even try to conceal it… Rhys didn’t know how he felt about it.


	27. Chapter 27

“Rhys, calm down,” Mor said, squeezing his shoulder. “You’ll be fine, and I’ll be with you anyways.”

It was time for their first television interview with the main cast members of Throne of Glass. Cresseida was chatting with Thesan and the host backstage while Mor was attempting to calm Rhys down in his dressing room.

Rhys wasn’t entirely sure why he was nervous. It wasn’t like he was afraid of being on camera. Maybe it was just that there would be a live audience. And that he couldn’t just take back anything he said. The thought was a bit unsettling.

There was a knock at the door and a shout that it was time to go. 

Rhys rolled his neck and nodded to Mor. She smiled in that way she did that made him think of sunny summer days and apple pie. It was the smile she always gave him to make him feel better.

A few minutes later, the host of the show was introducing them and they walked out on stage, smiling and waving at the cheering crowd. Rhys didn’t think this was really so bad.

“I must say--I don’t think I’ve seen so many cheering teenage girls since Twilight,” the host said, earning chuckles from the four cast members on the couch and screams from said girls. “I can’t be surprised with such an attractive cast.”

Mor shook her head and laughed. “Don’t compliment Rhys too much, it’ll go straight to his head.” Everyone laughed and Rhys elbowed Mor playfully.

“I’m sure lovely Cresseida already compliments him enough that mine have no effect,” the host said, slyly glancing over at them. Rhys swallowed and looked down at his lap, and Cresseida took his hand, squeezing it tightly as she responded to the host.

\--------------

“That was a crap performance,” Cresseida said, her arm linked with Rhys’s as they walked towards the studio entrance. 

“Not everyone is good at improv, Cresseida.”

She rolled her eyes at him as she pushed open the door. “This isn’t going to work if you don’t put in more effort.”

“I’ve got it under control.”

Cresseida hummed in a way that told Rhys she definitely did not believe him. 

Luckily, there weren’t any paparazzi outside, though Cresseida already had a car waiting for her on the curb. She pursed her lips and slipped her arm from his. Just in case, she pecked his cheek before opening the car door and climbing inside.

She slammed the car door harder than necessary and the car pulled away, leaving Rhys standing chilly and alone on the curb. Mor had plans with Pandora and had already left, and Rhys wasn’t particularly close with Thesan. Really, he should’ve made arrangements beforehand, but he hadn’t thought about it.

A cool breeze swept by and Rhys shivered, rubbing his arms. He squeezed his eyes shut as he realised who the one person who would pick up would be. Really, he should just hail a cab--

Rhys slid his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts until finding the right one and tapping it.

Lucien picked up with a sigh and a _hello?_

Rhys sighed in relief and smiled. “Hey, Luce, I--can you pick me up?” There was rustling of movement on the other end of the phone.

“Where?”

Rhys gave him the address as he heard Lucien’s elevator ding. He imagined Lucien leaning against the elevator wall after he pressed the button for the car park.

Rhys knew his eyes were closed by the hint of tiredness that lined his voice as he said, “You’re lucky I love you, otherwise there’s no way I’d be leaving my house this late on a fucking Tuesday.”

Rhys barely heard what he said after _I love you_. He could barely think outside of those words.

But Lucien was tired and probably a little annoyed and definitely just his best friend. 

Except...Rhys thought he heard Lucien’s sharp intake of breath just after he finished speaking, as if realising what he’d just said.

“I’ll see you in a few,” Lucien said quickly before hanging up. Rhys only realised he wished he’d said something once he’d hung up.

\--------------

Lucien couldn’t say that he had been surprised when Rhys called him, couldn’t say he was surprised Rhys had neglected to make sure he had a ride home. 

Ever the loyal best friend, Lucien was now on his way to pick him up at 11 o’clock on a Tuesday night. 

When he pulled up in front of the television studio, he rolled down the passenger side window and leaned over to speak to Rhys. “Need a ride?”

Rhys smiled and sighed as he opened the car door and got inside. Rhys’s gaze slid over him--slowly. Lucien ignored it and placed his hands on the steering wheel.

“I like your sweatshirt,” Rhys said. He said it in a way that, if it hadn’t been Rhys, Lucien would’ve thought meant he’d wanted him to remove it.

“Thanks,” Lucien choked out, mentally chastising himself and tapping his manicured--he and Mor had painted each other’s nails with sparkly Christmas colours--fingertips on the steering wheel. He refused to meet Rhys’s gaze despite the urging he felt in it.

Lucien put the car into drive, and Rhys looked out the window. Lucien blew out a quiet breath of relief that he no longer had to suffer through Rhys’s attention.

Lucien made to merge onto the highway, but Rhys tapped his shoulder. Lucien glanced over at him--confused.

“I don’t want to go home yet,” Rhys said softly, and Lucien pulled over into a gas station. He parked and let his hands drop from the wheel as he leaned back in his seat. He turned his head to look at Rhys properly.

“What do you want to do then, pretty boy?” Rhys’s eyes darkened a bit at the nickname, and Lucien ignored it.

“Can we go to the beach?” Rhys asked tentatively. Lucien wasn’t in the mood to deny him anything so he just nodded and sat forward. 

When they reached the beach, Rhys was out of the car almost immediately, stumbling down towards the water. Lucien shut off the car and was getting out as Rhys knelt to the ground in the sand. 

The wind whipped at Lucien’s loose braid as he walked down towards his friend. Rhys sat back on his feet, and Lucien realised his eyes were closed upon reaching him.

“Rhys--”

“Shhh,” Rhys said, grabbing his hand and pulling him down in front of him to where their knees faced each other’s. “Close your eyes.” Rhys opened his own eyes in order to find where to put his hands in order to cover Lucien’s eyes.

Rhys’s hands were warm on his face as he closed his eyes, his eyelashes brushing against Rhys’s palms. 

“Good,” Rhys whispered. “Now listen.” Rhys moved his hands so his index fingers could tap Lucien’s ears. Rhys sighed happily as he slowly let his hands drop from Lucien’s face. Lucien was tempted to open his eyes, just to see the look on Rhys’s face.

Waves crashed again, and again, and again.

Lucien didn’t know how long they sat there, just listening, but at some point he had the thought that this was the point in the movie when the main characters would kiss. One of them would have their eyes open, just watching the other, until they leaned in and kissed the one with still-closed eyes.

Suddenly, Lucien got the feeling someone was watching him, and his eyes flew open. Rhys blinked as if he hadn’t expected Lucien to open his eyes. Neither of them spoke, however. They still just listened.

Until Rhys closed his eyes again and said quietly, “I come here to clear my head sometimes.” Lucien watched his thumb brush over his ring. It wasn’t like when he twisted it around when he was nervous; it was a comforting gesture.“The waves calm me.”

Lucien tilted his head to the side slightly. “Why did you need to clear your head?” The question had slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. Rhys opened his eyes and looked up at the sky, exhaling slowly.

“Lots of things.”

Lucien hummed and clasped his hands together.

“You’re coming for Christmas, right?” Rhys said, meeting his eyes. Lucien nodded and Rhys grinned, looking down at his hands. “Good.”

“I still can’t believe how big your tree is,” Lucien said, and Rhys chuckled, looking back up at him. Lucien smiled at him, but Rhys rubbed at his chest gently, his face softening.

“We can go now, if you want.”

Lucien didn’t entirely want to, but he nodded and stood, helping Rhys up after him. Neither of them dropped the other’s hand. Lucien found it difficult to breathe as they walked back to the car, hand in hand. He could feel Rhys’s look of quiet awe.

Lucien let go to walk to his side of the car, but he knew Rhys was still watching him.

They both got into Lucien’s car, neither one speaking, neither one moving. Lucien didn’t want to leave this moment--unless _something_ came of it.

“I should get home,” Rhys said, tiredness suddenly apparent in his voice. Lucien looked over at him and saw him with his head back against the headrest, a yawn forming on his lips.

“Right, yeah, okay.”

\-------------

Lucien realised Rhys had fallen asleep when they reached a stoplight 20 minutes later, and Lucien had the chance to glance over at him. He was immediately struck by the domesticity of the whole situation and by how Rhys was comfortable enough with him--trusted him enough--that he could fall asleep in his car. 

Mother save him.

Lucien was extra cautious for the rest of the drive to the townhouse, not wanting to wake him. It was near 1am by the time he pulled into the driveway. Most people would jolt awake at a car parking, but Rhys didn’t move a muscle.

Lucien sighed, squeezed his eyes shut, unbuckled his seatbelt, looked over at Rhys again, and opened his door. As soon as he stepped out, he paused, debating whether he should just go get Cassian or continue on this path. He had a house key, it wasn’t like he needed someone to let him inside.

Lucien ran a hand over his face, walked around the car, and opened the passenger side door. Rhys still hadn’t woken up. Lucien nudged him. Nothing. Lucien shook him gently. Nothing. Lucien squeezed his eyes shut again and knelt down.

“Please wake up. I don’t wanna have to carry you,” Lucien said, prodding Rhys’s face with a finger. “I don’t think I _could_ carry you. I’d probably have to get Cassian to do it, and he’d be all ‘Haha foxboy, what a bind you’ve got yourself in’. Fucking prick.”

Lucien rested his head on Rhys’s leg. “He’s lucky he’s so attractive, otherwise I don’t know how I’d put up with him.” Lucien furrowed his brows at himself. “No, that’s silly. He’s kind and funny and all that good stuff.” Lucien turned his head so his forehead rested on Rhys’s leg instead of the side. 

“Mostly a prick though,” Lucien mumbled. “But he’s your brother, see, so of course we’re friends.” Lucien pursed his lips and leaned back, looking up at Rhys’s face. Lucien sighed. “Why do you have to be so damn perfect, huh?” Lucien pinched his arm and continued, resting his head back on Rhys’s thigh. “I mean, I probably still would’ve fallen in love with you if your face wasn’t so pretty, but it certainly helped.”

“Certainly helped what?”

Lucien jolted back: “Pardon?” Rhys was looking down at him with a confused look on his perfect face.

“You said, ‘but it certainly helped’. What helped what?”

“Oh--um--” Lucien ran a hand through his hair. “Just that the ocean helped you fall asleep.”

“Oh.”

Lucien stood up as Rhys unbuckled his seatbelt and rubbed at his eyes. Luck was on Lucien’s side tonight, it seemed. He backed up so Rhys could get out of the car, resting his hand on the door.

“Thanks for the ride,” Rhys said, his hands tucked under his arms.

“Yeah, of course, no problem,” Lucien said, still fumbling a little over his words. 

Rhys nodded and walked towards the front door. He paused on the doorstep and turned back toward Lucien, who had closed the passenger door and crossed to the driver’s side of the car. “Goodnight, Lucien.”

“Goodnight, Rhys.” Rhys smiled softly before putting his key in the lock and entering his house. Lucien didn’t know why he waited a few minutes while standing in the driveway, but eventually he got back in his car and drove home alone.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just like slightly nsfw just warning ya babes

_Christmas Day_

Lucien was laughing at the monogrammed pajamas Mor had gotten all of the boys while sitting next to Cassian on the couch when Rhys caught his eye and jerked his chin towards the kitchen, a question in his eyes. Lucien nodded and Rhys smiled softly before heading into the kitchen.

Luien followed and found him near the island holding a small rectangular gold box in his hands. 

“You already got me something,” Lucien said when Rhys held it out to him. Rhys shook his head, his eyes bright. Lucien narrowed his eyes, but took the box. He opened it and removed the little layer of padding. There was a little CN tower figurine lying inside.

Lucien tilted his head and looked up at his friend. Rhys moved a little closer, one hand on his stomach and one at the base of his throat.

“Okay, let me explain,” Rhys said, laughing a little nervously and running a hand through his hair. “So, you told me you’ve wanted to go to Niagara Falls for the longest time,” Lucien nodded, picking the mini tower out of the box and running his fingers over the detailing, “And, so, I thought, maybe, we’d spend some time in Toronto, seeing the sights and stuff, and then go stay down in this little town Niagara-By-The-Lake and be able to see the Falls and everything.” 

Lucien looked up at him and back down at the tower, biting his lip to keep from crying. He couldn’t believe--

“But if you don’t want to go, that’s okay,” Rhys said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just--”

“You’re taking me to Niagara Falls?” Lucien whispered, blinking rapidly.

“In June, yes.”

Lucien laughed softly and looked up at Rhys. “That’s 6 months from now.”

“I wanted to make sure you’d be able to take the time off, and I didn’t know if—“

“Shhh,” Lucien said, placing a finger to Rhys’s lips. Rhys let out a breath and Lucien dropped his finger. Lucien noticed Rhys’s hand inch towards his on the island before fixing his own eyes on Rhys’s mouth, which he realised was terribly close to his.

“Lucien--” Rhys breathed as Lucien tilted his chin up a bit more, their lips so close he could’ve sworn Rhys’s brushed his as he spoke. He glanced up at Rhys’s eyes and found them closed. Rhys’s fingertips grazed his. 

“Thank you,” Lucien whispered, nudging Rhys’s nose with his own, still watching him a bit apprehensively. Rhys let out an uneasy laugh.

“Cresseida and I aren’t really--” Rhys stopped, because Lucien stepped back as soon as her name left Rhys’s mouth. A silly, stupid, reckless man was what Lucien was. He clutched the little golden box in his hand as he backed up another step. 

“I should go,” Lucien said, running a hand through his hair and over his face.

“No, Lucien, wait,” Rhys said, reaching out to grab his arm. But Lucien turned away and walked down the hall towards the front door. 

Someone grasped his arm in the foyer and Lucien turned around to tell Rhys to go away, but it was Cassian, with his hard muscles and soft heart. Lucien let out a breath and a tight smile and continued to the door when Cassian released him. 

“I’m going home,” Lucien said as Cassian continued to walk next to him. He pressed the door closed when Lucien reached for the door handle. “What, Cassian?” Lucien crossed his arms.

“This doesn’t have to do with Rhys,” Cassian assured him.

“Refreshing,” Lucien said drily. Cassian frowned. “Sorry.” Gods, he was just so tired of everything in his life revolving around that boy.

“I have a proposition for you,” Cassian said softly as a hand that was far to callused for a mere photographer brushed across his cheek, pushing a piece of hair behind his ear. 

Lucien was distantly reminded of a different Spera brother in a different home, doing the same thing. He was more closely reminded of how Cassian had softly ran his hand through Lucien’s hair while they lounged on the couch on multiple occasions, including tonight.

“I figure you need something—someone to blow off steam.” Lucien hummed and almost didn’t stop him as he cupped his cheek. “And that I happen to find you mighty attractive.” Lucien probably would’ve chuckled if not for these circumstances. 

He almost didn’t stop Cassian as he leaned down. Almost didn’t stop him as his hot breath caressed Lucien’s lips.

Almost.

Lucien pushed Cass back, shaking his head. “I can’t.” Cassian didn’t need to explicitly state what he was proposing for Lucien to understand what he meant, but Lucien couldn’t do it. His breathing was more ragged than he would’ve liked.

Cassian gave him a knowing smile. And Lucien felt bad for a moment, for the flicker of disappointment across his friend’s face.

“You’re still in love with him."

Lucien didn’t answer the silly question. He just swallowed and reached for the doorknob again, but Cassian placed his hand back on the door.

“It’s okay, you know.”

“I’m not going to talk about it, if that’s what you want,” Lucien snapped, regretting it a moment later as Cassian frowned. But he didn’t apologise. “Merry Christmas, Cassian.”

\----------

”Please, just listen, I wasn’t finished--” Rhys cut himself off at what he saw in the foyer.

Rhys had been ready to damn the consequences as soon as he’d seen the look on Lucien’s face when Rhys had told him what he’d gotten him for Christmas. Had been ready to damn them all to hell.

But then he saw them by the door and froze, and he tried to convince himself that what he was seeing wasn’t real. He blinked multiple times.

But it was still there. They were still there. 

Rhys shook his head and went back into the kitchen, not wanting to hear whatever Lucien was muttering to his brother. He pulled the whiskey out of the cupboard and poured himself a knuckles worth before knocking it back and breathing heavily. He put the whiskey away and poured the rest of the wine from the bottle into his glass.

Then he turned around and went back to the living room, pretending to the rest of them that everything was fine.

That’s where he was when Cassian came back in, smiling softly. It was then that he decided it was okay--he was okay--so long as his best friend, so long as Lucien was happy.

Because he _was_ okay, wasn’t he?

\--------

Tamlin had come to realise that’d he’d made a huge mistake in just giving up on Feyre Archeron.

He was miserable without her. She had kept him sane and in check. He just hoped he could still find her, could still win her back even if he could find her. 

And he needed to _protect_ her. What if she’d been hurt while they were separated? What if someone had hurt her?

The thought had been enough to send him rushing to a flight to Seattle. 

Now, he was walking the streets of Feyre’s hometown looking for her. She was probably at her father’s house, which was where he was headed using the maps app on his phone.

Tamlin had been there once before, but he couldn’t be asked to remember how to get there, certainly not by walking.

When he reached the house, he was once again struck by the smallness of it. He truly could not imagine his Feyre growing up in such a place. It had no decorations visible from the outside save for the lit-up tree in the large front window and the wreath hanging on the door.

Tamlin rang the doorbell and waited, though he didn’t have to wait long until the door open and there she was, beaming. At least, she was beaming until she noticed it was him. He ignored that and ignored how she inched the door a bit farther closed.

“What do you want?” Feyre bit out. 

“Your forgiveness.”

She laughed humorlessly. Tamlin frowned and she raised an eyebrow. “You’re serious.”

“I should think so,” Tamlin said, crossing his arms like a petulant child. Feyre pursed her lips and glanced behind her briefly. 

“Why should I? After all these months you finally realised how fucked our whole situation was?”

“I love you, Feyre. And I’m sorry. So terribly _sorry_. I promise I’ll be better.” He felt like he was begging now, but he truly was miserable without her. “ Please forgive me, baby.”

Pity gathered in Feyre’s eyes and Tamlin knew he had won, even if she hadn’t fully decided to accept him yet. She bit her lip and looked down at the ground, her brows furrowing.

“You promise you’ll...keep it together?” She looked back up at him.

Tamlin nodded vigorously. “Yes, yes, I promise.” Feyre nodded softly.

“Okay.” Tamlin smiled and lunged forward to kiss her, but she held him back with a glance into the house. “Not here.” Tamlin nodded again, understanding her strained relationship with her family. Feyre smiled weakly. “I’ll… call you tomorrow… and make plans… if you’ll still be in town.”

Tamlin nodded once more and she did the same before closing the door.

\---------------

_New Years’ Eve_

Lucien Vanserra hated big parties, especially ones like the one he was at that night. He knew most of the people there, of course, but he didn’t care for any of them. They all wanted to kill him, be him, or fuck him. It wasn’t the best combo.

Particularly because his eyes were already set on one man at the party, he already had to deal with his father wanting to kill him everyday of his life, and just because ass-kissers clung too much. 

He’d never felt like a Hollywood producer more than he did in that moment. Minus the drug habits.

A week before, he would’ve never dreamed of coming to a party like this unless Amren forced him into it, but now he didn’t care so much.

The love of his life was in the corner kissing his girlfriend, who was wearing a dress that was probably short enough to pass as a shirt. His closest friend was dancing with her girlfriend as she downed yet another martini. His boss was terrorising the love of his life’s girlfriend’s brother at a table near the balcony. His father’s minion was doing cocaine with his mistress in a dark alcove. The shadow lurked around, never staying in one place for too long.

And the man he had his eyes fixed on was sitting at the bar and also happened to be the brother of the love of his life. One such brother who had extended him an offer 6 days ago. An offer that he had refused at the time, but was now reconsidering.

Cassian Spera sipped from his margherita with the two tiny straws and twisted the little umbrella between his thumb and forefinger. His shirtsleeves were rolled up to expose his forearms, and the top few buttons of his shirt were undone. He had tattoos so similar to his brother.

Lucien watched him let a girl flirt with him for a bit before politely turning her down. The bartender said something to him and he laughed, throwing his head back. When he’d stopped, Cassian looked to his right, just where Lucien happened to be watching him from.

Lucien finished his drink and slipped into the crowd, just as he caught a glimpse of Cassian’s smirk. _Check._

He grinned as a hand on his shoulder stopped him in the midst of the crowd. He turned and blinked lazily up at Cassian.

“Hello there,” Lucien said, lifting a brow. “Do you need something?”

“ _Do_ I?” Cassian’s eyes were full of mischief.

Lucien shrugged and turned away, but Cassian pulled him back. _Checkmate._ Lucien licked his lips as he turned back around.

“Dance with me,” Cassian said roughly. 

Lucien tilted his head and furrowed his brows. “Is that an order?”

A muscle in Cassian’s jaw ticked, but he released Lucien’s arm. “No.” 

Lucien smirked. “Good. Let’s go then.” He offered his hand to Cassian, who took it and led him out to the dancefloor. 

They were immediately pressed together, not entirely because of how many people were also dancing around them. Lucien’s hands roamed his muscled back, while Cassian’s stayed firmly planted on his hips.

“Is this you changing your mind?” Cassian murmured, his lips pressed to Lucien’s ear.

“This is me saying fuck it,” Lucien hissed, and Cassian huffed a laugh in his ear before turning him around. “Fuck.” Lucien groaned, grinding up against him.

Cassian lowered his nose to Lucien’s neck, skimming it down to his collarbone, his breath sending shivers down Lucien’s spine. Lucien’s own breath hitched as Cassian dragged his teeth against his neck.

They continued on like that--Lucien moving with the music, Cassian teasing him with his mouth and hands--until Lucien had had enough. He gripped one of Cassian’s hands and tugged it. Cassian got the message and didn’t fight him as he swiftly led him down the hall to an alcove with a little window seat past the bathrooms.

Lucien pushed Cassian up against the wall and pressed his lips to Cassian’s ear. “Before we do anything else, you must understand that there are no romantic feelings in this. If you don’t want that then we’ll stop.”

“I understand, fox,” Cass said, leaning closer and tugging at Lucien’s earlobe. Lucien pulled back, breathing deeply. He paused, as if he hadn’t made up his mind about this whole situation before even arriving tonight.

“Then kiss me.”

So he did, and Lucien lost himself in it--in the hard, sharp contours of Cassian’s body, in the slight stubble on his jaw, in the way Cassian’s hands felt on his ass, in his hair. 

Cassian moved and sat down in the window seat, pulling Lucien into his lap. Lucien gasped into his mouth at the contact. His hands found the front of Cassian’s shirt and unbuttoned the rest of it as quickly as he could.

Cassian gripped his hair and used it to tug his head to the side to give him access to Lucien’s neck. Lucien ran his hands over every spot of bare skin he could find on Cassian’s torso. 

“Cassian--” Lucien choked out as Cassian rolled his hips up. There was a hiccup and a female’s ‘What the fuck’, and Lucien felt Cassian look up, then hum.

“It’s Pandora,” he said. Lucien groaned and twisted around to look at her wide eyes.

“We’ll talk later, but right now, if you’ll kindly buzz off and _not_ tell Morrigan.”

“Right, of course. Have fun,” she said before bouncing away.

Lucien felt Cassian’s questioning eyes on him, and he turned to meet them. “What?” he demanded.

Cassian blinked at him and began untucking his shirt as he spoke, “That wasn’t very nice.” Lucien rolled his eyes.

“I’m not in the mood.”

Cassian hummed and pulled Lucien’s shirt up over his head.

“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to be the one fucking you, instead of allowing you the pleasure,” Lucien growled.

“Oh, so masculine,” Cassian said as he shoved Lucien down in the window seat, though his tone was less than genuine. Lucien narrowed his eyes.

“I’ll allow it, if you continue to not be gentle,” Lucien purred, reaching up and tugging on a piece of Cassian’s hair. Cassian smirked.

“Oh, it’d be my _pleasure_.”

\-----------

Lucien loosely braided back his hair as he walked down the hall back to the party. He’d already checked his visible skin in the bathroom mirror for any marks, and, luckily, there weren’t any.

Upon reaching the bar, he asked for a glass of water and leaned against it, observing the room once more. Midnight had come and gone while he and Cassian had been… otherwise occupied, but the party still raged.

He spotted Pandora sitting at a table, swirling what was left of her champagne in its glass. He ordered another glass of water for her and brought both glasses with him as he walked to her.

“Hello, dear,” Lucien said as he sat down next to her, sliding one of the water glasses in front of her. Pandora frowned at it and then at him, but she didn’t speak. She sipped from the water and continued to watch Mor dancing.

Neither of them spoke until Mor had come and gone, pecking Pandora’s cheek and finishing Pandora’s champagne in the process.

“This isn’t me judging you,” Pandora said finally, setting her glass down on the table.

“I know.”

“I just don’t want to push you to talk about it.”

“I know,” Lucien repeated, propping his head on his hand, an elbow on the table. Pandora nodded and looked back at Mor. “I’m sad and lonely, Pandora. And, honestly, pathetic.”

“I know,” Pandora said teasingly. Lucien huffed and shoved her gently. “Why does it have to be Cassian? I mean--aren’t you friends? Doesn’t this fuck with that a little?”

Lucien shrugged. “We are friends, but I guess we’ll see. Hopefully it doesn’t fuck with that.” He paused. “And anyway, it was his idea.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Lucien said. “Is that so surprising?”

Pandora leaned back in her chair, sighing and shaking her head. “Nothing surprises me anymore.”


	29. Chapter 29

“So, that wraps up what’s going on the next couple of months,” Amren said, closing her folder. “Congrats to all of you who worked on the Throne of Glass film, from the looks of it, it’s going to do well in the box office.”

A short round of applause.

Everyone in the meeting began packing up their things as Amren cut in again: “One last thing, Beron Vanserra is visiting in a few days and I expect you all to be on your best behavior.”

She directed the last bit at Lucien, whose face was lined with disdain for his father.

“Ciao,” Amren said before striding out of the conference room like a queen. Lucien hurried out to catch up to her.

“You didn’t think to tell me sooner? To prepare?” he called after her. She didn’t stop, but slowed her pace a bit. She waved her hand at him as he reached her.

“You have a few days, don’t you?” Lucien huffed and she clicked her tongue at him. “And anyway, his assistant only called this morning to inform me.”

“Typical,” Lucien muttered and Amren gave him something close to a smile as she stopped at the elevator.

“Good luck,” Amren said lazily, pressing the down button. The elevator doors opened then closed once she’d entered, leaving Lucien alone and annoyed.

\------------------

“I can’t believe you’re getting us custom dresses,” Pandora muttered to Mor after they said goodbye to the tailor and stepped out into the sunny January day.

“It’s the only way to get them for an event like this,” Mor said, smiling. “Trust me, I tried it once and almost ended up without anything to wear.”

“Hmm.” 

“I promise!” Pandora still wasn’t convinced, but she let Mor do as she wished, even if that meant spending thousands on custom dresses for the Throne of Glass premiere.

It helped that the sketch the tailor had drawn from Mor’s description was gorgeous, and Pandora realised Mor knew her better than she’d previously thought. 

“I believe you,” Pandora sighed, sliding her arm around Mor’s waist. Mor smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head.

As they were walking down the street, Pandora’s phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, halting her movement.

_Lucien: Guess who’s coming to visit_

_Lucien: You guessed it: Asshole father of the past 27 years._

“Oh stellar,” Pandora murmured to herself before sending the same thing to Lucien.

“What is it?” Mor asked, trying to catch a glimpse of what had Pandora huffing.

“Lucien’s dad is coming to visit,” Pandora replied, her lips pursed. Mor hummed in understanding. 

_Lucien: Can we talk?_

“He wants to talk, but I want to keep spending time with you.” Pandora bit her lip.

“Rhys is home alone,” Mor offered.

“Mor, I can’t just tell him to go talk to Rhys.” Mor shrugged.

“Tell him Rhys is running low on eggs or something and I can’t be asked to pick some up for him,” Mor said, tugging gently at one of Pandora’s curls and watching it bounce back into place as she let it go. Pandora swatted her hand away and then clasped it in hers.

“Yeah, that’s fine, right?” Pandora typed the message and sent it before slipping her phone back in her pocket. “I feel a little dirty. This meddling thing isn’t something I like doing.”

“It’s not really meddling, more like... helping a friend feel better.”

Pandora laughed, and Mor pinched her playfully before tugging her back into a walk.

\-----------------

Rhys was trying to paint his nails a delightful shade of purple when he heard the front door open. It startled him enough that he almost dropped the little brush-thing-whatever it was called. 

Whoever it was didn’t bother to announce themself as they strode through the house. Rhys figured it was Cassian or Azriel and went back to painting his nails until:

“Oh.”

Rhys looked up, eyebrows raised, to find Lucien with his phone in one hand and a grocery bag in the other. The corners of Rhys’s mouth twitched up at the surprise and slight colour on his face.

“Mor said you needed eggs,” Lucien said, lifting up the bag a bit after swallowing visibly.

“Oh, I didn’t even notice,” Rhys said loftily, glancing at the fridge. He realised then that he’d been ogling at Lucien’s forearms. Subtle.

Lucien rubbed the back of his neck, still standing there awkwardly. “I’ll just put them away then.” Rhys nodded and returned to his nails as Lucien walked to the fridge. 

“You’re painting your nails?” Lucien commented as he closed the fridge door.

Rhys held out his hand in front of him, studying said nails, then turned to Lucien. “That’s what it looks like.”

“That colour looks atrocious on you,” Lucien said as he crossed to the pantry.

“Really?” Rhys said, suddenly concerned. He looked down at his nails again, brows furrowed. Lucien chuckled as he retrieved a bag of chips.

“No, it’s cute.” Rhys relaxed. Lucien crossed back to Rhys and picked up his hand, studying his nails just as Rhys had the moment before. “Quite sloppy though, hmm?”

“I did try, you know,” Rhys said, watching how Lucien contained his smile by pressing his lips together.

“I’m sure you did,” Lucien teased. Rhys pouted and Lucien laughed, making Rhys feel all fuzzy and warm, and goddamnit what was he ? “I’ll fix them for you, don’t worry.”

\------------------

As Lucien had fixed Rhys’s nail polish, he’d explained to Rhys that his father was coming to visit and how much he was dreading it. 

“I hate him,” Lucien said now, sitting on the couch next to Rhys. “And I hate that he makes me feel this way.”

“I know,” Rhys said softly. It was because of that softness that Lucien turned to look at him. His pretty violet eyes were angry where the rest of his face held a softer emotion that Lucien didn’t want to name.

“Sorry for ranting at you,” Lucien said with a sigh. Rhys waved him off and shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes.

“I get it.” 

“I know.”

Lucien rested his head on Rhys’s shoulder so Rhys wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes. Lucien couldn’t believe how much he cried these days.

Rhys stiffened a bit and Lucien sat up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Rhys said, shaking his head sharply. Lucien studied his face for a moment, the way his lips twitched a bit.

“Okay,” Lucien whispered before returning his head to Rhys’s shoulder. 

He didn’t know how long they stayed there, only that at some point Rhys had turned and kissed his hair--so soft Lucien was convinced he imagined it.

“Hey, Lucien?” Rhys murmured, and Lucien sat up again, just a bit alarmed.

“What?”

“You’re my best friend.”

Lucien knew this already. Rhys had told him this before. Except...for some reason it felt like he meant something different this time. The thought wasn’t settling.

He nodded though. “Yeah.”

Rhys smiled a little weakly and leaned towards him slightly. “Lucien, I need to tell you something.” Lucien swallowed and bit his lip, and Rhys’s eyes flicked down at the movement. Rhys opened his mouth to continue, but then the front door opened and Cassian called out for Rhys.

Rhys jerked back, blinking. “Yeah, in here.”

“You won’t believe the day I’ve--Foxboy!” Cassian grinned at the two of them, and Lucien silently urged him not to make any risky innuendos. He could feel Rhys looking between them like he knew something already. Gods, Lucien needed to get out of there.

“I should go,” Lucien blurted, and both Spera brothers had their eyes on him instantly. “I’ve got paperwork and other things to do before my father comes. Have a good evening.”

\-----------------

Lucien Vanserra was tapping his fingers on his desk and second-guessing the placement of everything in his office. He shifted the position of his Golden Globe and straightened his name plate--and his suit, and his hair.

He adjusted his sitting position in an attempt to make himself look taller--Mother knew if it worked. Lucien glanced to the picture of him and Rhys that sat on his desk. It made him smile a little and then frown as he realised what his father’s reaction to it might be. 

He snatched the picture frame and placed it in the drawer nearest to him, then let out a long breath.

It was then that a knock came at his office door, just as Andras told him that his father had arrived over the intercom. Rhys had whispered a ‘good luck’ from where he sat next to Andras, pretending to be one of the assistants.

“Come in,” Lucien said firmly, mimicking the way Eris voice always sounded. Beron entered the room, his ever-present frown evident on his face. Lucien tried not to clench his teeth as Beron studied the office. “Do sit down.”

Beron only did so after turning his nose up at something he saw. “I see you still refuse to cut that ridiculous hair.” 

Lucien shrugged nonchalantly and said, “I find that my lovers like having something to hold onto.” Beron scowled and Lucien fought his victorious grin.

“Still fucking the rabble, I’m sure.”

Lucien didn’t react, not even a twitch in his jaw. He just studied his pretty, manicured fingernails, waiting to see if Beron would say anything else.

“Always were a little pansy, weren’t you,” Beron said, clearly having noticed where Lucien’s attention was. Lucien cut him a sharp grin, but then Beron continued. “It’s your mother’s fault, I’m sure.”

That was all it took for Lucien to be out of his chair and pointing his finger dangerously close to Beron’s neck.

“Don’t you dare,” Lucien growled. Beron chuckled and brushed Lucien’s hand away.

“Come now, we both know you couldn’t do it,” Beron sighed, leaning back in his seat. “And even if you could, you wouldn’t.”

“Get out,” Lucien said calmly as he stared down his father. Beron snorted and didn’t move. “You have no power here. Amren owns this studio, not you.” Lucien pointed towards the door. “ _Get out_.”

Beron scoffed. “You’re a silly--”

Lucien pressed the intercom button and said, “Security, please come escort Beron Vanserra out of my office and out of this studio.” Beron looked at him incredulously and Lucien lifted a brow in challenge.

Two security guards opened the office door moments later and almost had to forcibly remove Beron from his seat as he hurled obscenities at Lucien, who ignored them.

When he was gone, Lucien flopped down in his chair and rubbed at his forehead. _So_ that _happened_ , he thought, just before Rhys burst into the room.

“You fucking badass,” Rhys practically shouted, looking like a child on Christmas. Lucien huffed a laugh and shook his head. “That was _superb_ , darling.”

Lucien stood up and let Rhys crush him in a hug.

“So proud of you,” Rhys murmured, squeezing him impossibly tighter. Lucien’s chest pinched as Rhys held him at arm’s length, looking at him like he was the only person in the world. Why did he do this to himself? “We’re going for In-N-Out, c’mon.” Lucien couldn’t fight him as he dragged him out of the door.

—————-

“Ugh, it’s so warm,” Lucien said, fanning his face a bit as they walked towards the entrance of the In-N-Out. “Isn’t it supposed to be January?” 

“Take off your blazer if you’re so frustrated by the heat,” Rhys said. Lucien huffed and shook his head. 

“I’ll look like a British soccer team manager.”

Rhys shrugged and glanced over at Lucien as he pushed open the restaurant door. _That’s hot though_ , he thought. Lucien’s head whipped back towards him, and Rhys realised that he’d said what he was thinking.

“ _It’s_ hot,” Rhys corrected quickly, but Lucien didn’t move. “ _Outside_ ,” he added. Lucien blinked and continued through the second door.

They walked to a small booth, and Lucien indeed shrugged off his blazer as he paused by a booth. Rhys slid into the booth and watched Lucien as he rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt and glanced over at the counter.

“I’ll go order, then,” Lucien said. “Do you want a milkshake or just a soda?”

“Milkshake, of course,” Rhys said with a smile. “We’re celebrating, aren’t we?” Lucien hummed, a small smile blooming on his face as he turned to walk away.

Rhys watched him as he reached the counter and leaned down, bracing his forearms on it. It was that moment that Rhys realised how tight Lucien’s trousers were and subsequently how utterly fucked he was.

Lucien glanced up at the menu as if he didn’t already know exactly what he was ordering, and the cashier chuckled at something he said. Rhys’s stomach twisted. Lucien paid and turned back towards Rhys, waving the receipt in his hand.

\----------

Rhys huffed a laugh as Lucien walked back to their table. Lucien’s stomach fluttered at the way his eyes lit up.

“We are number 71,” Lucien said as his slid into the seat across from Rhys before propping his head on his hand with a sigh. “I can’t believe that happened.”

Rhys shrugged and leaned back in his seat. “I can.” Lucien fixed his eyes on the table in order to avoid Rhys’s piercing gaze. He hated that he loved how that gaze made him feel.

They talked for a bit as the waited for their food, and Lucien wondered, not for the first time, if this is what a date would be like between them. It was casual and Lucien quite liked it, but it didn’t really matter, did it?

When their number was called, Lucien made to stand up to go get their food, but Rhys got up first and insisted it was only fair. 

Lucien watched him as he got the tray from the counter. He studied the way Rhys blew up a piece of hair that fell in his face and wouldn’t stay up no matter how hard he tried.

When he reached the table, Rhys wiggled his eyebrows as he set down the tray before sliding back into the booth and brushing his hair back with his hand. 

They sorted out whose food was whose as a group of girls walked in, chattering away. Lucien glanced over at them as he put a fry into his mouth. He didn’t want to say they looked like the type to be obsessed with attractive male actors, but they did. It wasn’t the greatest situation for them--mostly Rhys--to be in, but hopefully they’d keep to themselves. Hopefully. 

Rhys hummed and Lucien turned back to see him looking at the girls with narrowed eyes as he sipped his milkshake. Lucien swatted at one of his hands.

“Stop that, they’re probably like 16,” Lucien said, and Rhys blinked and raised an eyebrow as he looked back at Lucien.

“I know that, Lucien,” Rhys said, and Lucien swallowed at the way Rhys said his name. “But don’t you ever miss when life was that simple?” They both knew life had never been that simple for either of them, but it was nice to think of it that way.

Lucien shrugged and took a bite of his burger. He knew Rhys was watching him, but he had averted his own gaze to the window.

“Sorry,” Rhys said softly. “That was a little insensitive. You literally _just_ had to deal with your father.” Lucien glanced back at him and waved him off. He knew Rhys hadn’t meant it that way.

Lucien knew the girls sat down somewhere behind him both because he could hear them, and Rhys was attempting to hide himself using Lucien as a shield. He had to laughed at the way Rhys peeked over his shoulder.

“Oh, be quiet, Lucien,” Rhys whined, draping a hand over his face. Lucien pressed his lips together and swirled a fry in ketchup. 

“Is that really him?” one of the girls asked, a bit too loudly according to the rest of them because they all shushed her and lowered their voices.

“I should go say hi,” Rhys said. “I have to say hi, right?” Lucien shook his head and Rhys sighed heavily. “I’m going to say hi.” He stood from his seat and started toward the girls’ table. Lucien twisted around to watch him go. One of the girls squeaked and Lucien huffed, a bit annoyed.

Rhys chatted with them for a bit and Lucien couldn’t make out much of what they were saying, but then Rhys came back to the table and braced his hand on Lucien’s side of the booth. Lucien looked up at him as he spoke.

“They’re cute and they want to take a picture of me with all of them together,” Rhys said, his face twisting as he tried to remember the rest. “And they want to talk to you, and we need someone to take the picture, obviously--” Lucien grasped his wrist and he closed his mouth. 

“I’m coming.”

Rhys nodded and backed up so Lucien could get out of the booth. Lucien gestured for Rhys to lead the way, so he did, twisting his ring around his finger.

“Why are you so nervous?” Lucien asked, nudging Rhys with his elbow.

Rhys opened his mouth to answer but closed it again. He waved his hand. “I don’t have that much experience with fans.” Lucien nodded, though he had a feeling that wasn’t the whole truth.

“Hi, everyone,” Lucien said as they reached the table. “I hope Rhys wasn’t too awful to you.” The girls laughed, and Lucien glanced sidelong at Rhys with a flick of his brows. Rhys looked at him almost like he didn’t know him--but not in a bad way.

“Anyway, Rhys said you wanted to talk to me,” Lucien said smoothly. They all nodded began asking him questions. 

As they were talking, Lucien felt Rhys’s fingers combing through his hair. He didn’t stop him.

“Don’t you ever brush your hair?” Rhys murmured, and Lucien turned to him, shocked.

“Who do you think I am?” Lucien said, Rhys’s hand still in his hair. Rhys blinked lazily at him. “It’s windy today, Rhys, leave me be.”

“Hm.”

Lucien rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the table and he realised they had all ceased talking. Well, except for a couple of them whispering to one another while glancing over at Rhys and Lucien. 

Well shit.

Rhys dropped his hand from Lucien’s hair and shoved it in his pocket. 

“You wanted a picture with Rhys?” Lucien said, clearing his throat. They nodded and thus began figuring out how they wanted the picture.

Once they’d taken the picture, the girl whose phone it was began doing something on her phone. 

“Hey, um, could you, maybe, not post anything until we’re gone?” Lucien said, and Rhys looked over at him as if noticing how his mood had changed. Some of the girls exchanged looks.

“I already posted something,” one of them said, biting her lip. Lucien sighed and ran a hand over his face.

“It’s alright,” Rhys assured her, his hand moving to Lucien’s back. “It was very nice to meet all of you.” Lucien gave them a smile.

“I wish we could stay longer, but we really should go,” Lucien said. He gave them a little wave as Rhys turned him around to walk back to their table. 

“No, the fries!” Rhys exclaimed as they reached the table. “And our celebration milkshakes!”

Lucien let himself laugh at Rhys’s dramaticness. “We can bring them with us, pretty boy, don’t worry.” He could have sworn a flush crept up Rhys’s neck. Lucien distracted himself from that observation by putting his food back in its bag. 

Rhys did the same, and soon enough they were back outside walking to the car. Rhys was stuffing his fries into his mouth and Lucien snorted.

“Maybe we should’ve been eating instead of talking to those girls,” Lucien quipped and Rhys threw the fries in his hand at Lucien. Lucien laughed for what felt like the hundredth time that day and wondered if he’d feel this happy tomorrow.


	30. Chapter 30

_Valentine's Day_

Tamlin was honestly surprised that Feyre had agreed to go to dinner with him for Valentine’s Day, but he was delighted. 

He’d had a new dress shipped to her house for the occasion. Hopefully it had come in time. 

Tamlin rolled his shoulders as he reached her apartment door and knocked twice. There was a bit of shuffling on the other side of the door, but then Feyre opened the door wearing the pretty green dress he’d chosen.

“You look lovely,” he said, offering her the bouquet of flowers he was holding. She smiled softly at him and took them. Her hair was pinned up with pearl hairpins that he’d gifted her a long while ago, giving him a full view of her neck. She placed the flowers just inside her apartment before turning back to him.

“You look nice, too,” Feyre said, exiting her apartment and locking the door behind her. Tamlin offered her his arm and linked hers with his.

“I hope this place isn’t too fancy,” Feyre said later as they were driving. She was looking down at her dress as she spoke.

“It’s not,” Tamlin assured her, even though he knew it was. But he figured that since he’d gotten them a secluded table, it wouldn’t make a difference. Feyre nodded, looking back out the window. Tamlin placed his hand on her thigh as a comforting gesture, but Feyre flinched. 

Tamlin retracted his hand. “What?”

Feyre shook her head. “Your hand is cold,” she explained, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Sorry.”

Feyre smiled weakly and waved her hand. “It’s not your fault, it’s okay.” She reached over and squeezed his hand briefly. Ianthe never comforted him at all, just gave him more of the drugs he craved. “It’s okay,” she repeated.

\--------------

Pandora giggled as Mor spun her around in the sand to the music playing from Mor’s bluetooth speaker.

Mor had planned them a surprise picnic on the beach for dinner that night complete with candles, rose petals, and chocolate strawberries. The sun was low on the horizon now, but still they danced.

Mor was singing along softly to the song, her eyes closed. 

“You thinking about something?” Pandora asked, tilting her head up to brush her nose against Mor’s jaw.

“Just about how much I love you,” Mor said, opening her eyes and pulling Pandora closer. A slower song began to play as they swayed back and forth. Pandora rose up on her tiptoes to kiss Mor, who smiled against her lips.

“One day,” Pandora began, leaning her head against Mor’s chest. “We’ll get away from here and settle down.” Mor hummed and rested her cheek on Pandora’s head. “Maybe we’ll have a pretty little suburban house like Rhys’s, but obviously farther away from LA.”

“I’d like that,” Mor whispered, her fingers lightly tracing Pandora’s back. Pandora smiled and turned her head to kiss Mor’s collarbone. Mor sighed and Pandora ran her hands down from around Mor’s neck to Mor’s hands.

“Maybe we’ll get married,” Pandora continued, brushing her thumbs over the back of Mor’s hands. “And your cousins will all be there and your aunt, and only your parents if you want.” Mor scrunched up her nose and Pandora laughed. “I thought so. But my family will come, oh, and Lucien and everyone will get along and we’ll be happy happy happy.”

“Bold of you to assume Lucien won’t already be my cousin-in-law,” Mor said, smiling and pressing their foreheads together.

“Oh you’re ridiculous, carebear,” Pandora said, shaking her head. Mor managed to capture her lips and pull her towards their picnic blanket.

“You love it, _and_ you know I’m right,” Mor said when she’d sat down and tugged Pandora into her lap. Pandora shrugged, draping her arms around Mor’s neck.

“Who’s to say Lucien isn’t moving past it?” Pandora said distantly. Honestly, she worried for Lucien’s mental and emotional state in this whole situation, especially now that Cassian had been added to the equation.

Mor furrowed her brows. “Do you have evidence to say so?” Pandora shrugged again, pretending she didn’t know that Lucien was regularly sleeping with Cassian. It wasn’t any of Mor’s business.

“He just seems better, I don’t know.” Lie. Lucien had been miserably confused every time she’d seen him in the past two months. Rhys kept meaning to tell him something, but he never managed to come out and say it.

Mor nodded: “Okay, I mean, you would know.” Pandora flashed Mor a smile and ran a hand through her hair. Mor made a noise that sounded something like a purr as she did so. Pandora leaned forward to kiss her again, and so it began.

\---------------

“Oh, hey, Rhys,” Cresseida said when she opened the door only a few moments after Rhys rang the doorbell. “I really thought you were the take-out delivery guy.” She sounded only slightly disappointed.

“Can I come in?” Rhys asked. Cresseida blinked a couple times, but opened the door wider.

“Yeah, sure.” Rhys tried to contain his sigh of relief.

He hadn’t been to Cresseida’s house very many times and was still in awe of how big it was. He followed her to the TV room where she sat down on the couch.

“I wanted to talk,” Rhys said, sitting down next to her.

“I figured,” she said with a little laugh as she picked up a bag of chips from the coffee table. She waited for him to speak, eating from the bag.

He was suddenly doubting that this was a good idea. What if she was offended? He wasn’t sure if she still liked him that way anymore, and he didn’t know which situation would be better.

“Okay, I’m usually not this type of guy,” Rhys started.

“I think I know where this is going,” Cresseida said, setting down her bag of chips.

“You do?” Rhys said, his eyes widening. Cresseida shrugged and gestured for him to continue. He swallowed. “I’m not ready for this... _thing_ to end--”

“Clearly, otherwise you’d be at his house, trying to get in his pants and not mine,” Cresseida cut in. Rhys opened his mouth to protest, but she continued. “I’m right, aren’t I?” He nodded. “Well, I can’t say I’m not tempted.”

Then she sighed and turned fully towards him. “Rules?”

“Umm…” Cresseida rolled her eyes.

“I only thought to mention it because you clearly don’t just sleep with people on a regular basis.”

Rhys blushed and Cresseida smirked.

“Oh good. Now, I’d like to request we do this in a bed. And I must tell you that I don’t like you romantically anymore, just in case you didn’t know. Wouldn’t want Rhysie feeling guilty.” She stuck out her bottom lip mockingly.

Rhys bit his lip, feeling a little exposed. How did she know him so well? 

“This isn’t about love, my dear. This is about you getting bored of your own hand.”

“Cresseida!” Rhys blurted.

“I have to be blunt with you, Rhys. You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed.” Rhys frowned and looked away from her

“You need to know that I’m mostly doing this because I need to distract myself from that fact that my--that _Lucien_ is dating my brother,” Rhys said and Cresseida raised her eyebrows. “And he’s keeping it a secret.”

Rhys could tell that Cresseida wanted to say something, but she held her tongue and tilted her head to the side. She hummed and leaned over to him, her blue eyes sparkling. “Let me distract you then.”

\-------------

Lucien hadn’t been thrilled when Cassian suggested that they go out for dinner tonight instead of just fucking and leaving. It made the whole thing too personal, but it wasn’t going too horribly--they were friends after all.

It also gave Lucien the opportunity to admire Cassian’s fantastic genes. He was made from tougher stuff than Rhys was. He hadn’t spent the first years of his life in comfort and it shone through at times.

At present, it was how he spoke about some of his clients and how frivolously they spent their money. His loud voice and large build wouldn’t have fit in if they had gone to a fancy restaurant, which was why they were at a little cafe instead.

But Lucien found him charming.

“Foxboy, you’re looking at me like I’m the dessert menu,” Cassian said with a smirk. Lucien shrugged and stirred his straw in his glass. “We can go, if you want.” Cassian ran a finger down Lucien’s hand that was resting on the table.

“Yes, let’s go,” Lucien said, standing up and offering his hand to Cassian. Cassian grinned and took it. Lucien practically dragged him out of the restaurant.

When they reached Lucien’s building, Lucien pulled Cassian into the elevator and pushed him up against the wall. He pressed his lips to Cassian’s neck and threaded his fingers into his hair. Cassian groaned and slid his arms around Lucien’s torso.

The elevator dinged and Cassian pushed Lucien out into the hall. Lucien detached his lips from Cassian’s neck and glanced down towards the kitchen where the light was on. Except--Lucien hadn’t left it on.

He furrowed his brows and pushed out of Cassian’s arms. “I’ll be down in a minute, okay?” Cassian nodded and headed for Lucien’s room. 

Lucien walked to the kitchen and froze in the doorway as he saw who was sitting at the breakfast bar.

“Rhys--” Lucien choked out. “What are you doing here?” Gods, he was only sleeping with Cassian to get this damn boy off his mind, but there he was. Lucien glanced down the hall, then back at Rhys.

Rhys’s hands were clasped in front of him on the counter, and he was staring at them. Lucien walked farther into the kitchen, tucking his hands under his arms.

“I slept with Cresseida,” Rhys said, a bit disbelieving. As if that was explanation enough.

Lucien swallowed and turned away.“And that’s a bad thing?” As if he weren’t currently on the brink of crying. Lucien gripped the edges of the counter.

“I wanted it to be--” Rhys cut himself off. “Lucien, are you alright?”

Lucien bowed his head. “I’m fine,” he said, but his voice cracked. He shook his head at himself. “You should go home, Rhys. It’s late.”

“I don’t really want--”

Lucien whipped around and gestured towards the elevator. “Then go back to Cresseida. I’m not sure why you left her after having sex with her.” Lucien huffed a bitter laugh. “Seems like a dick move to me.”

It was then that Lucien noticed how sad Rhys looked, and now, how hurt he looked. Lucien regretted snapping at him, but he didn’t stop him as he got up and walked away.

Lucien gripped his hair as he looked out at the Los Angeles skyline, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He put his face in his hands then kicked the cabinet in frustration.

“Cassian!” Lucien called, his voice breaking. He heard Cassian coming down the hall and dropped his hands from his face. 

“What is it?” Cassian asked. His face was concerned as he took in Lucien’s own expression.

“Please go.” Cassian opened his mouth to say what, Lucien didn’t know, but he cut him off. “Please.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, sure, um, have a nice night.” Then he turned away, and Lucien watched a Spera brother walk away from him for the second time that night.


	31. Chapter 31

_Premiere Night_

“Really, I could not have asked for a more amazing cast and crew,” Lucien said into the mic that the interviewer extended to him. “I really had nothing to do with the success of this film.”

Rhys popped up behind him, resting his hands on Lucien’s waist. “Is he down-playing his importance again?” Lucien swatted at Rhys’s face as the interviewer laughed. “That means yes.” Lucien met Rhys’s playful eyes with a glare.

Cameras continued flashing around them, and Rhys leaned down to whisper in Lucien’s ear as he fingered the end of his braid. “Your hair looks pretty.” Lucien willed his face not to flush, but he wasn’t sure it worked.

“Thanks,” Lucien breathed. Rhys ran a hand up and down his back, and Lucien forced himself to step out of Rhys’s arms and thank the interviewer. Before he moved down the line he turned back to talk to Rhys. “I kindly ask you not to intrude on any of my other interviews.”

“Of course, dear,” Rhys said teasingly. Lucien narrowed his eyes at his friend, but Rhys had already engrossed himself with whatever the interviewer was saying.

Huffing, Lucien moved on to another spot for solely pictures. He saw Tamlin a few feet ahead of him doing an interview and giving him annoyed looks. Lucien would’ve given him a look, but he was being photographed, so he just smiled and shifted the angle of his head every few seconds.

\------------------

Pandora couldn’t say she was dissatisfied with her dress. It was a pale blue to compliment Mor’s red one, and it was simple in every way that Mor’s was not. That was one of the things she loved about it.

Pandora was not an extravagant dresser like Mor and Rhys and Lucien were. Rhys and Lucien both had perfectly tailored suits. The former’s was classic black and white and the latter’s was a sophisticated pinstripe. Honestly, they looked ready for a dinner with royalty.

The same couldn’t be said for Mor and her shimmering red dress with a plunging neckline and leg slit. It would probably scandalise the gentry, which, Pandora thought, was what Mor was going for. She’d definitely be accepted at one of those fancy socialite parties though.

_Just provocative enough_ , Mor had said when she put the dress on earlier that day.

And didn’t she look absolutely _stunning_. 

Pandora had no idea how a woman as attractive as Mor could possibly be in love with someone like her.

Mor’s smile was almost as blinding as the camera flashes. She was made for this life of luxury and fame. Pandora figured she’d been born into the luxury at least and fame was just a couple of easy steps away.

Not that Mor didn’t work for it. No, Pandora saw how hard she worked, and she was glad that it made Mor happy to achieve this life. But there were moments she wished they could just run away from it all.

“Are you okay?” Mor whispered close to her ear as they walked down the carpet to the next designated photograph area. Pandora smiled at her.

“Yes, of course, my love,” Pandora said, kissing her cheek. Mor grinned and brushed her fingers across Pandora’s bare neck.

“Good.”

\---------------

“Alright, alright, fine,” Lucien said as everyone urged him to give the toast. “Hush, all of you.” He lifted his champagne glass a bit and tilted his head to the side in thought. What to say…

“Well, then, we’ve come a long way,” Lucien began. “I remember sitting in my office wondering if this would ever work out, but I’d never been excited for a film like I was for this one.” Lucien shook his head a bit. “I figured that had to mean _something_.” 

He looked down at his glass and back out to the crowd. “I don’t want to get _too_ sappy--” They all laughed and Lucien smiled. “But this cast--” Lucien met Rhys’s eyes across the room. “This film would be nothing without the extraordinary work they put in.”

“To the cast!” He finished. They all raised their glasses and echoed the sentiment. Lucien knew everyone was sipping from their glasses now, but only because Rhys was doing so, his eyes full of mischief. 

Someone tapped Rhys on the shoulder and he turned to them, breaking the connection with Lucien. Lucien sighed and headed for one of the sofas on the side.

“You’re sulking,” Mor said as she appeared in front of him some time later. Rhys had been dancing with Cresseida for a while now and Lucien had been wallowing in self-pity and champagne.

He could leave and call Cassian, but _appearances_. Not that he was making a good one by sitting off to the side and not socialising.

Mor and Pandora sat down on the sofa next to him and placed plates of food on the low table before them. Lucien groaned.

“I don’t need you to liven me up,” Lucien said. “I’m having a perfectly good time all by myself.” He drank from his glass to demonstrate. Luckily, neither of them attempted to take it from him.

“And anyway, I’m allowed to sulk,” Lucien continued, sitting up. “I never sulk, okay? Have you ever seen me sulk because of him?” He gestured towards Rhys. Pandora and Mor just watched him. “No, exactly. Not in public at least.” He mumbled that last bit and Pandora huffed.

Lucien leaned forward to grab a chocolate strawberry then leaned back into the sofa, tilting his head towards the ceiling. Mor and Pandora whispered to each other and Lucien closed his eyes.

“Hmm, you’re kinda killing the mood,” Lucien told them. “Would you mind… leaving?” He gestured vaguely with the glass in his hand.

“Hmm, you’re kind of an ass sometimes,” Pandora snapped and Lucien snorted. He knew Pandora was glaring at him, but he didn’t care. “Don’t fall off the ship and drown.” And then the cushions shifted and Lucien knew Pandora and Mor were indeed leaving.

Lucien had forgotten they were on Cresseida’s yacht. He couldn’t see outside from where he was sitting. 

Lucien sat forward to eat more from the plates Mor and Pandora had brought him. One of the waiters came and refilled his glass with champagne. He had leaned back and closed his eyes again when someone else came to talk to him.

“Are you having a good time?”

“Go away.” They didn’t. Lucien lifted head with a raised brow, then blinked when he saw who it was. “Oh. Hello.” He straightened in his seat as Cresseida walked closer to him and sat down on the couch neatly.

“Well, are you?”

Lucien shrugged and placed his glass on the table. “Mor said I’m sulking,” he said, and then squeezed his eyes shut when he realised who he was talking to.

“How’s Rhys?” Lucien managed to get out, opening his eyes. Cresseida shrugged.

“He’s Rhys.” What was that supposed to mean? They were both quiet for a while, and Lucien tried not to fidget. Then Cresseida narrowed her eyes a bit and said, “I’m surprised you’ve not been possessive.”

Lucien hummed and reached for his glass again. He took a sip before responding, tilting his head to the side. “I can’t be possessive over something that isn’t mine.”

“Isn’t he yours though?” Cresseida said, swirling her champagne in its glass. Lucien looked at her with raised brows and wide eyes. “He’s certainly never been mine.” She shook her head and sipped from her glass.

Lucien opened his mouth, but paused before speaking. Why was she telling him these things?

“Then why don’t you break up with him?” Lucien was confused. Especially as she shrugged and looked away.

“Because the press is good,” Cresseida said, though Lucien could hear the annoyance in her voice. She turned back to him, frowning. “And because--oh, I really shouldn’t tell you that.”

“Tell me what?” Lucien blurted.

“Because he doesn’t want to--break up, that is.” Lucien may have made some kind of small noise, and Cresseida’s brows furrowed. “Oh, you’re upset.” She swore to herself. “It sounds bad without context, but I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone. _Particularly_ not you.”

“Don’t you think that’s selfish?” Lucien said, desperate for answers. Cresseida shrugged again and stood from her seat.

“I’m sorry, Lucien, please believe me,” Cresseida said quickly and quietly before walking away. He stared after her, not understanding what had just happened. 

The cushions of the sofa were soft as Lucien sank back into them, his hands covering his face. He was seriously considering leaving now. He’d probably been here long enough. He just wanted this night to be over.

“Lucien,” called softly the voice of Lucien’s dreams. It was smooth and sweet like caramel-filled chocolates. Lucien hummed and smiled at the sound of that voice. The voice said his name again and a hand brushed his shoulder.

Lucien dropped his hands from his face and made a little surprised sound. 

“Oh, good, you _are_ alive,” Rhys teased, a pretty little smile playing on his mouth. Lucien leaned forward so as to capture that smile with his, but remembered himself and backed away, blinking. “Will you dance with me?”

Rhys offered his hand and Lucien took it. Rhys’s smile grew and he pulled Lucien off the sofa--the only person that night who had been able to do so.

The song was slow and Rhys held Lucien close. Leaning his head against Rhys’s shoulder, Lucien was reminded of a night months ago when they’d been in this same position and of what had followed. He glanced down at their clasped hands and frowned a little. Rhys hadn’t remembered, or at least he’d said he hadn’t.

Rhys pressed his cheek to Lucien’s hair and hummed the tune of the song. Lucien squeezed Rhys’s hand, the corners of his lips twitching up. Rhys squeezed his hand back and pressed his nose to Lucien’s hair.

The music changed to a more upbeat song, but Lucien and Rhys continued slowly swaying back and forth. Lucien thought he could stay here forever with Rhys’s warmth seeping into him. At least until he spotted Cresseida across the room, watching them.

He squeezed his eyes shut and pushed out of Rhys’s arms.

“What’s wrong?” Rhys said, alarmed. Lucien shook his head, refusing to meet his gaze.

“I just need some air,” Lucien explained before rushing out of the room. He pressed himself into the railing and gripped it in his hands. “Silly, stupid, and reckless.” Lucien shook his head at himself.

“Not really,” Amren said behind him. Lucien huffed and looked out at the ocean as Amren came up beside him. “He’s acting like an idiot.” Lucien shrugged and Amren’s mouth twisted. “I’m sorry.”

Lucien let out a bitter laugh. “That’s what Cresseida said.” Amren raised her brows, and Lucien shook his head to himself again. “I need to get off this boat.”

“Then do it.”

\-----------------

“We need to talk,” Cresseida said as she grabbed Rhys’s arm. Rhys turned to her abruptly, her voice having broken his lingering gaze on Lucien.

“Okay,” Rhys said, confused. He let her drag him to a quieter area of the boat.

“Sit,” she said, gesturing to the sofa in front of him. He obeyed, brows furrowed. Cresseida stood with her hands on her hips. She paced back and forth a couple times before turning to him again. “We can’t continue this.”

“What?”

“Hush,” Cresseida said, throwing her hand out. Rhys bit his lip, and she ran a hand through her hair. “You can’t--You can’t possibly think it’s going to work forever.”

“Of course not, but--”

“No, there’s no ‘but’, Rhys,” Cress cut in. “I don’t think you fucking understand what you’re putting Lucien though.” She looked like she was about to cry and crossed her arms over her chest, resuming her pacing. Rhys didn’t speak, knowing she’d just tell him to be quiet.

“Gods, Rhys--” Cresseida shook her head in disbelief. She swallowed, looking down at her feet. “I went to talk to him because I couldn’t understand why he’s sleeping with Cassian.”

“Cresseida!”

“Don’t worry I didn’t fucking ask him about it,” Cresseida snapped. “But I did talk to him, Rhysand.” She shook her head again, closing her eyes. “He’s so confused and he’s so _deeply_ in love with you, that I--”

“What?” Rhys’s voice broke on the word. Cresseida opened her eyes to look at him, and Rhys wasn’t sure how the tears managed to stay in her eyes. She shook her head at him.

“Oh, Rhys,” she said, sitting down next to him. She put her head in her hands, continuing to shake it. “You’re driving him mad and I think--I think he’s just trying to distract himself with Cassian.” Like Rhys had tried to do with Cresseida.

“What do you want me to do then?” Rhys said, fighting back his own tears. Cresseida sat back and dropped her hands from her face.

“I want you to stop lying to yourself,” Cresseida said firmly. “I want you to stop beating yourself up over something that you can’t control.” She looked at him then, smiling sadly. “But mostly I just want you to be happy.”

“Call him tomorrow,” Cresseida whispered, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Then she left him to his thoughts.

\-----------------

“Are you alright?” Cassian asked as Lucien tugged his trousers back on. Cassian was still lounging in his bed, but his face was concerned.

“I’m fine,” Lucien said, busying himself with his belt.

“We are friends, you know, Lucien,” Cassian said, sitting up.

“Yeah, I know,” Lucien bit out, picking his shirt up off the floor.

“Then tell me what you’re upset about.” Lucien shook his head and put his arms through the sleeves of his shirt.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Cassian,” Lucien snapped and instantly regretted it because of the hurt look on Cassian’s face. His voice softened as he buttoned up his shirt. “Leave it alone...Please.”

“Yeah, okay,” Cassian said dejectedly. Lucien sighed and picked up his blazer before walking towards the bedroom door.

“Goodnight, Cassian,” Lucien said before slipping out the door. He closed the door slowly and quietly, in case Rhys had come home. He turned towards the stairs and froze, as he often did.

“Rhys,” he choked out. Rhys blinked and didn’t move. Lucien glanced at the door he’d just exited and back at Rhys.

He stumbled forward down the hall, covering his mouth with his hand as he passed Rhys, who he felt watching him. He hurried down the stairs and out the front door. He slammed his hands on the roof of his car when he reached it.

“Damn it, Lucien,” he swore, his voice breaking. “Damn it, damn it, damn it.” He kicked the car door and let out a sob. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth before opening the door and sliding into the driver’s seat.

Lucien gripped the steering wheel tightly in his hands and pressed his forehead to it as he cried. He sat back and slammed his fists into the steering wheel, shaking his head at himself. 

The car was dead silent save for Lucien’s heaving breaths. Lucien shuffled around, looking for his phone. When he found it, he dialled Pandora’s number and pressed it to his ear. When she picked up, Lucien sighed in relief.

“This was a mistake,” Lucien said, his voice raw. There was silence for a moment on both ends.

“Which part?” Pandora said gently.

“Cassian,” Lucien said, a lump in his throat. Tears fell silently down his cheeks as he glanced back at the house, one hand on the steering wheel.

“Do you want to come over?” Pandora asked. “I think I’ve got ice cream in the freezer.”

“Sure, okay,” Lucien said, bowing his head.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a few.”


	32. Chapter 32

Rhys yawned as he walked down the hall to the kitchen the next morning. He desperately needed coffee before doing anything.

The house smelled of whatever Cassian had made himself for breakfast, which appeared to be eggs and bacon from what was left on a plate by the stove as Rhys entered the kitchen. 

He ignored Cassian, sitting and eating at the breakfast bar, as he entered and walked towards the coffee maker.

“You look like hell,” Cassian commented. “Rough night?” Rhys could hear the smirk in his voice and it made him clench his fists as he walked to the fridge for milk.

He couldn’t get the image of Lucien’s face as he saw him in the hall out of his head. Which in turn was why the image of Lucien kicking his car and crying in Rhys’s driveway kept flashing in his head.

Rhys had rushed back downstairs after the front door closed behind Lucien and had looked out the sitting room window to see Lucien with his hands braced on the roof of his car. 

Rhys knew it was mostly his fault, but he couldn’t help finding fault in Cassian. Which was why he was roughly opening and closing the cabinets as he got out the things he needed to make his coffee.

“What the fuck is up, man?” Cassian said over the roaring in Rhys’s head. Rhys whipped around.

“You’re fucking my best friend?” Rhys fumed. Cassian’s face lit with realisation.

“Well, yeah, I was,” Cassian said casually, going back to his eggs and pissing off Rhys even more. 

“You didn’t think to tell me?” Rhys said, clenching his jaw.

“I didn’t think it was any of your business,” Cassian said, not even bothering to look up at him.

“Well, it is.” Rhys crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter. Cassian raised a brow and finally looked at him.

“And why is that?”

“You know why, damn it,” Rhys growled. “It’s why you did it in the first place. I just don’t know why you’d want to torture me like that.” Cassian laughed. He _laughed_.

“I didn’t do it to torture you,” Cassian said, putting air quotes around ‘torture you’. “Well, maybe a little, but only because you were pissing me off with how dumb you were acting.”

“Then why did you?” Rhys said, still trying to keep the bite in his voice. 

Cassian blew out a long breath and leaned back in his seat. “He was lonely, Rhys. And you didn’t seem to notice or care.” Rhys opened his mouth to protest, but Cassian held up a hand. “But beyond that…” Cassian shook his head at himself.

“I can’t say I didn’t fancy him, and you clearly weren’t going to be making a move any time soon.”

“Not everyone is as confident as you, Cassian,” Rhys said, looking down at his feet. Cassian sighed and propped his head on his hand.

“I guess you’ll be pleased to note that he told me he didn’t want to continue our...relationship,” Cassian said, lips pursed. Rhys sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Rhys, I should’ve just...asked you what your reasons were.”

“Yeah,” Rhys said, turning to the coffee machine. “Cresseida and I broke up,” he said after a few moments.

“Aha, so that’s why you’re suddenly so openly defensive,” Cassian muttered. Rhys hummed in annoyance and shoved the coffee pot back into the holder. Cassian clicked his tongue as Rhys poured milk and sugar into his mug.

“Don’t you ever shut up?” Rhys asked, turning around, coffee mug in hand.

“Sorry, this is a new side of you and it’s fascinating,” Cassian said, his eyes flashing mischievously.

“Bite me,” Rhys said, rolling his eyes and walking towards the living room.

“I thought that was Lucien’s job,” Cassian called, and Rhys flashed him an obscene gesture over his shoulder. Cassian’s laugh was the only response he got as he sat down on the sofa. 

Rhys sat in silence, sipping from his coffee, until Cassian sat down on the couch next to him. 

“What?” Rhys said, more exasperated than anything. 

“Jokes aside,” Cassian began, “why did you stay with Cresseida so long?” Rhys looked down into his mug. “You don’t have to tell me, but I just—I don’t get it.”

“We haven’t really been together since Lucien’s birthday.”

“What?” Cassian said, eyes wide. 

“I—we—There was no valid reason for me to not be with Lucien unless I stayed with her, even if it wasn’t real.”

“If you’re implying that your fear was not valid—“

“It wasn’t, Cassian. Not when I’ve been in love with him since we finished filming,” Rhys blurted. Cassian blinked. 

There it was. What he’d been hiding for months now, or at least trying to hide. 

Silence stretched between them for what felt like hours. Rhys’s coffee went cold before Cassian spoke.

“I’m not saying that your solution wasn’t… problematic.” Rhys huffed. “But it’s perfectly okay to be afraid.” Cassian snortes. “I think the first boy I liked was Az, not that I told him until much, much later.” 

Rhys gaped. “You’re kidding.” Cassian shook his head. “Huh.”

“My point is that it’s normal to feel the way you’ve been feeling,” Cassian said. “You should’ve talked to me, or even to Mor.” Cassian’s mouth twisted. “Though I suppose everything you told her would’ve gone right to Pandora, and she doesn’t much like you.”

Understatement. “No. She doesn’t.”

“It’s just because of how you’ve treated Lucien,” Cassian said. “She’s a protective person.” 

“She’s like a wildcat,” Rhys said, a tinge of fear slipping into his voice. Cassian chuckled and patted his shoulder.

“You’ll be alright, brother,” Cassian said, a smirk creeping across his face. “I don’t think you’ll have much trouble with her after you’re warming Lucien’s bed.” Rhys threw a pillow in his face. 

\------------------

“Oh, that’s hideous,” Lucien told Pandora, sipping from his bubble tea and pointing at one of the leotards in the catalogue. It was hot pink with neon green chevron stripes—both colours shimmered. She leaned over to look over at it and scrunched up her face.

“It looks like one my grandmother would buy me when I was little,” Pandora said before pointing to one on the other page. “But that one’s nice. Circle it.”

They were looking for new leotards for the spring and summer competition season for Pandora, which seemed more like something to make them laugh than actually finding things for her to wear. It was important though, she said, because there would be scouts from her dream team and she needed to look nice. 

Pandora’s phone chimed and she glanced at it, then Lucien watched her do a double take and pick up her phone to more closely read whatever it was.

“Oh my god,” she said, her mouth hanging open slightly. “Rhys and Cresseida broke up.”

“Oh my god,” Lucien breathed, blinking a couple times.

“Happy spring equinox to you, I guess,” Pandora snorted. Lucien huffed a laugh and ran his hands through his hair. He sipped from his bubble tea, his brows furrowed.

“What do I do?”

“I don’t think _you_ do anything,” Pandora shrugged, tapping her pen against her catalogue. “Just wait, I think.” Lucien nodded, biting his lip, but Pandora continued. “He deserves to be on edge, wondering if you’ll accept him. Let him suffer a bit.”

Lucien hummed a bit, looking down at the catalogue he held. He felt Pandora’s attention shift to him. 

“You want to go to the townhouse right this second, don’t you?” Pandora said, her voice soft. Lucien didn’t look up at her. She sighed and leaned into the couch. “You can, of course. I won’t stop you.” Lucien glanced over at her.

“You’ll just be pissy for the next week, hmm?” Lucien drawled. 

“I won’t, not to you,” she snapped, sitting forward. Lucien’s brows flicked up and she shook her head. “I just know you won’t have it out with him over the last few months, so I think he should worry a bit.”

“And anyway,” she finished, going back to her catalogue as she plopped back against the cushions, “it’s far from your job to make a move at this point.”

“Alright,” Lucien said, returning to his own catalogue. 

They continued browsing the catalogues for some time until Pandora asked for the time.

“It’s a quarter past 1,” Lucien said, glancing at his phone. It was full of notifications that he didn’t bother to skim through. Pandora put the end of her pen in her mouth with a frown. “What?”

“I’ve got to get to the gym soon,” Pandora said, letting the pen dangle from her fingers now.

“Of course,” Lucien said, gathering his things from beside him on the couch--he didn’t have much since he hadn’t been home since 5 yesterday evening. Lucien patted the top of her head. “Have a nice day, pipsqueak.” Pandora scowled, then laughed as Lucien walked towards the apartment door.

“If he doesn’t call, I’ll kick his ass!”

\------------------

Rhys had sat by his phone all day, too anxious to call, even when Mor texted him and told him to. 

He’d gone for a drive to try and clear his head and now he was parked in Lucien’s building’s parking garage with his forehead pressed to his steering wheel. He let out a breath and leaned back in his seat, picking up his phone.

Lucien picked up with a sleep-lined “Rhys?”.

“Yeah, hey, I know it’s late--” Past midnight now. “But would you, maybe, _possibly_ , want to go for a drive?”

Rhys could hear the sleepy smile in Lucien’s voice as he whispered, “You’re already downstairs, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Perfect, I’ll be right there,” Lucien said, and then the line cut out, leaving Rhys a little giddy with anticipation.

But who was to say Lucien wouldn’t be angry for everything that had happened? No, he couldn’t be too upset if he’d agreed so quickly despite clearly having been asleep.

Rhys nodded as if to reassure himself of his thoughts and waited.

\--------------

Oh, gods. Was he really so deprived or did Rhys look even more attractive in moonlight? Just when Lucien thought he couldn’t get more perfect--Lucien shook his head to himself and rolled his shoulders as he opened the door to Rhys’s Mercedes.

“Hi,” he breathed as he sat down and met Rhys’s eyes.

“Hi,” Rhys said back before dragging his gaze down to Lucien’s sweater. “I think that’s mine.”

Lucien sucked in a breath, looking down. “Yeah, um, you let me borrow it, and I never gave it back. I can give it back now if you want, but I’ve had it for so long now that--” A smile grew on Rhys’s face and his fingers reached out to feel the fabric. “What?” Lucien glanced down at Rhys’s fingers and back at his face.

Rhys shook his head and dropped his fingers. “It’s too big on you, but it’s cute. Keep it, and wear it more.” Lucien flushed and looked down at his hands. “Please.”

“Okay,” Lucien whispered and looked out the window. “Aren’t we meant to be driving?”

“Hmm, yes, probably,” Rhys said, and Lucien could feel him still watching him. Lucien turned to look at him, but Rhys had turned his attention to getting the car out of the parking garage. 

Lucien sighed softly and glanced at Rhys’s bare forearms and then couldn’t look away. He wanted to reach out and run his finger down one, but he clasped his hands in his lap to keep from doing so.

“Cresseida and I broke up,” Rhys said, breaking the silence and glancing sidelong at Lucien.

“I know, I saw,” Lucien said and Rhys nodded.

“Right, right.” Rhys ran a hand through his hair, and Lucien realised he was nervous. That was...insightful.

A short time later, Rhys pulled the car over, clutching the steering wheel tightly.

“I can’t drive when you’re looking at me like that,” Rhys said, his voice low. Lucien’s stomach flipped and he flushed.

“Like what?”

Rhys slowly turned his head towards Lucien, who couldn’t read the emotion in his eyes. Lucien wasn’t sure how long Rhys stared at him with those piercing violet eyes.

Rhys leaned towards him a bit then let out a breath and dropped his head back against the headrest, his eyes closed. “Do you remember that one time—ages ago—when we both got probably a little too wine drunk and we were dancing around your living room?” The night they had kissed.

Lucien nodded a bit stiffly and then realised Rhys couldn’t see him and he choked out, “Yeah, I remember.”

Rhys nodded and looked down at his hands as he twisted his family ring. “Do you—“ He shook his head and looked at the road. Lucien held his breath. “We kissed that night.”

Lucien’s eyes widened and Rhys looked over at him again.

“I’ve hated myself everyday since,” Rhys admitted. Lucien blinked.

“You—why?”

“Because I lied, and all I wanted to do was this.” Lucien’s brows furrowed, but then—

Oh, he had to be dreaming because then Rhys’s hand was gently gripping his face and Rhys’s soft lips were on his. Lucien froze and Rhys backed away quickly. Lucien stared at him, dumbstruck.

Rhys bit his lip and looked down at his lap. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” he mumbled quickly. Lucien blinked slowly.

“Rhys,” he paused as Rhys looked at him again. “Why’d you stop?” Lucien waited long enough for confusion to appear on Rhys’s face before leaning over and sealing their lips once more--with much more force than Rhys had used.

Rhys moaned and slid his hand up into Lucien’s hair. Lucien grinned and reached up to grasp Rhys’s forearm, brushing his thumb along the inside of his wrist. Their noses bumped as Lucien tilted his head to the other side and Rhys huffed a laugh into Lucien’s mouth.

Lucien squeezed his wrist to tell him to shut up, and Rhys just smiled, twisting pieces of Lucien’s hair around his fingers. Lucien slid his free hand up to rest on Rhys’s shoulder.

At some point, Lucien let Rhys soften the kiss. And at some point he began to cry.

Rhys pressed their foreheads together, his eyes frantic. “Lucien, what’s wrong?” Lucien huffed a broken laugh and cupped Rhys’s face with one hand.

“I’ve waited--so long,” Lucien choked out. Rhys brushed a piece of hair out of his face.

“I’m sorry,” Rhys whispered, then brushed his lips across Lucien’s cheek. “I’m sorry.” Lips on his jaw. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Lucien murmured, his eyes falling closed as Rhys breathed heavily in his ear. _I love you_. The three words flashed in Lucien’s head, but he knew it was still too soon, even if he had felt this way for a long while. 

“I need you to know that it had _nothing_ to do with you,” Rhys said into his ear. “It was just me being a damn coward.” Lucien stroked Rhys’s hair gently with one hand and Rhys purred like a cat. Lucien smiled softly and used his other hand to turn Rhys’s head so he could kiss him again.

\------------------

They ended up stopping both because the console was in the way and because neither of them wanted to move too fast.

Rhys held Lucien’s hand loosely in his as he drove down the 405. He could hardly believe what had happened--what was happen _ing_.

“You have nice arms,” Lucien said, dropping Rhys’s hand and running a finger up one of said arms. Rhys’s breath hitched and he could see Lucien’s grin out of the corner of his eye.

“So that’s what you’ve been ogling at, hmm?” Rhys said, glancing sidelong at his--what did all this make Lucien now?

“I have not been ogling,” Lucien said, slapping his shoulder playfully as Rhys put his hand back on the wheel. “Well, maybe a little, but there’s so much to ogle at.” Lucien pinched his cheek and Rhys swatted his hand away.

“Stop th--” There was the screeching of tires and the scraping of metal and then the world went dark.


	33. Chapter 33

Rhysand Spera jolted forward with a gasp. His ears were ringing and everything was spotted with black.

“Sir?” someone said to his left. “Sir, what’s your name?” Rhys furrowed his brows and turned towards the voice.

“Rhys Spera,” he said. The person--paramedic?--raised their brows and Rhys looked the direction his body was facing again. Steering wheel, broken windshield, flashing lights--Lucien. The name appeared in his head without him spotting the man.

_To your right._

Rhys turned and there he was, but he only knew because of his hair. He was covered in blood and two of the--yes, he was right--paramedics were cutting his seatbelt and trying to get him out of the car.

He distantly heard the paramedic trying to speak to him as he turned and vomited out the side of the car. Breathing heavily, Rhys unbuckled his seat belt and stumbled out of the car past the paramedic who was still trying to talk to him.

He rounded the back of the car, not bothering to take in the damage. He could get a new one, but he couldn’t get a new Lucien-- _Lucien_. Rhys scanned frantically for him and there he was being lifted from the car onto a gurney.

Christ, there was so much blood _everywhere_.

Rhys rushed to the gurney that the paramedics were quickly pushing towards the ambulance, but one of them placed their hands kindly but firmly on his chest.

“Mr. Spera, you need to back up--”

“No, I need to go with him,” Rhys said, pushing forward.

“You can’t, Mr. Spera, some of the paramedics will stay here and run some checks on you, okay?” Rhys shook his head, pleading with the man to let him go, but he continued speaking. “Then the police will take your statement, and you can meet us at the hospital, okay?”

“But--” Someone pulled him back from behind and the one who’d been pushing him climbed into the ambulance and shut the doors. “No no no no no.” Rhys tried to run after it, but he was still being held back.

“Let go of me!” Rhys yelled, shoving out of the person’s arms. He couldn’t breathe--he needed to breathe, but the air wouldn’t enter his lungs. Rhys squeezed his eyes shut and clutched his hands in his hair.

 _Count to 5, Rhys._ His mother said soothingly in his head. _You can be afraid for those 5 seconds, but once they’re over, you let go, yes?_

_1_

Rhys choked on a sob.

_2_

Tears slipped from his eyes as he tried to slow his breathing.

_3_

The ringing in his ears was beginning to dissipate.

_4_

_You’re almost there, breathe, sweetheart_

_5_

Rhys let out a long breath, his hands dropping from his hair. He felt the brisk evening air on his arms, heard the distant sirens, smelled the gasoline.

_Good._

“Mr. Spera?” a girl’s voice said tentatively. Rhys opened his eyes to--Lucien? No, it was a paramedic girl who had hair like Lucien’s and was looking at him with worry. He blinked and more tears fell--how inconvenient. “Will you come sit down so I can check up on you? We don’t think you have any major injuries, which is why they made you stay.”

Rhys nodded distantly, now studying the scene. There was a police car on either side as well as one undamaged civilian car, a small emergency vehicle, and the two wrecked cars. Rhys didn’t want to think about what happened to whoever was driving the other car.

He followed the paramedic girl to the emergency vehicle, and she sat him down in the back before fetching supplies. Rhys couldn’t stop looking at her hair.

“Officer Jurian here wants to ask you some questions, if that’s alright?” The girl said, tapping his knee. Rhys nodded and she gave him a weak smile. “I’m Vassa, by the way.” Rhys tried to smile at her, but it didn’t work. 

She seemed to understand though and went about cleaning and bandaging his small cuts as the officer asked him what he remembered. It wasn’t much since everything had happened so fast. The officer nodded along and didn’t give him any more information before walking back to his car.

“He’s not all that bad once you get to know him,” Vassa said, tapping Rhys’s knees with the little hammer-like thing to check his reflexes. Rhys didn’t much care. “Okay, that’s it, Mr. Spera.”

“Thanks,” Rhys said, twisting his family ring around his finger.

“Hey, we’re not usually supposed to let people ride with us back to the hospital, but seeing as you don’t have a ride as of late, you can come.”

“Thanks,” Rhys repeated. Vassa nodded and finished putting her things away. Rhys’s phone began to ring. He picked it up and didn’t bother greeting the speaker, mostly because Mor was already jabbering into the phone.

“Rhys! Oh thank the Mother! I saw something on Twitter, what happened?!” 

Vassa gestured for him to buckle himself in, so he did before answering Mor.

“Not entirely sure,” Rhys said, closing his eyes. “I’m on my way to the hospital now because Lucien’s there and I—” Rhys choked up and swallowed before continuing. “Mor please come.”

“Yes, yes, of course, I’m getting in the car now.” Rhys nodded even though Mor couldn’t see him and hung up.

He was silent, but was fidgeting the entire ride to the hospital. When they finally reached it, Rhys practically threw himself out of the car towards the automatic ER doors.

He jogged towards the reception desk and leaned over the counter to address the nurse.

“Where’s Lucien Vanserra,” Rhys said hurriedly. “They should’ve brought him in a few minutes ago.”

“Are you family?” She typed something into her computer before looking up at him for his answer. 

“No, but--”

“Then all I can tell you is that he’s in intensive care,” she said before turning back to her computer.

“Please, miss, can I--” Rhys could feel tears brimming in his eyes again.

“No, I’m sorry, sir.”

“But, I’m--” Rhys could hear people whispering behind him, but his ears had begun to ring again.

“Sir, if you don’t calm down I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Rhys slammed his hands down on the counter and the nurse jumped. “You have to let me--”

“Sir, I--” she began nervously.

“No, _no_ , you don’t understand! His family won’t come see him, they don’t care about him!” Rhys didn’t care that he was yelling, but arms wrapped around his chest and started to pull him backwards away from the scared-looking nurse.

He struggled against them, tears now falling down his cheeks. “Please.” The arms let him go and smaller hands turned him around and grasped his forearms.

“Rhys, you need to calm down,” Mor’s calming voice told him. “There’s nothing you can do.” Rhys opened his eyes and tried to focus on Mor, but his vision was blurred with tears. “Breathe.” Mor reminded him of his mother sometimes. “Calm down.”

Rhys whimpered and fell into Mor, crying. “Mor, I don’t know what happened, one minute we were driving down the 405 and the next--”

“Shhhhh.” Mor rubbed her hands up and down Rhys’s back soothingly.

“It’s my fault, I--”

“Hush, Rhys,” Mor hissed before leading him to an empty set of seats. He realised Pandora was here as she sat down next to Mor, clutching her hand. Pandora looked...devastated, but for once not angry at him.

Rhys didn’t know how much time passed--days, months, years. He sat in the uncomfortable waiting room chair with his head back against the wall and his hand fiddling with his ring.

The sun was peeking up on the horizon by the time a nurse came out to announce, “For Lucien Vanserra?”

Rhys jumped up out of his seat, Mor and Pandora close behind him. There was another woman who also stood up and was looking at them oddly. She had long red hair, and though her skin was paler than her son’s, Rhys knew that it was Lucien’s mother.

“Who are you?” she asked, though not angrily.

“I’m his--” Rhys struggled to find a word to fit and tried to ignore the whispers of the others in the room.

“Friend,” Mor finished for him. He gave her a grateful glance and she nodded subtly. “We’re his friends.” Lucien’s mother nodded and turned her attention back to the nurse.

“Can I see him?” she said, a hand on her heart. The nurse nodded and led her down the hall. Rhys continued standing at the end of the hall, waiting.

The nurse came back after what felt like an eternity, but glancing at a clock on the wall, Rhys realised it had only been a few minutes.

Lucien’s mother was sitting in a chair at his bedside when Rhys walked in. She gave him a weak smile and he managed to return it.

Rhys bit his lip as he took in all of the injuries, trying to stop himself from crying in front of Lucien’s mom--did Lucien ever tell him her name? He sifted through their conversations about her swiftly in his head and found it. Eva.

He avoided Eva’s gaze as he took Lucien’s hand in his, gently brushing his thumb over the back of it.

“They say he’ll be okay,” Eva said softly. “And that he’ll wake up in a few hours, groggy but okay.”

Rhys nodded, glancing at Lucien’s half-bandaged face. “Good.” They fell silent again for some time, but then--

“You’re the one who was driving.” Rhys’s eyes darted to hers and he opened his mouth to say something. What? He didn’t know, but she cut him off. “It’s not your fault.” Rhys sagged a bit. “Drunk driver was merging onto the highway at 90 miles per hour and rammed into the side of your car.”

“Oh,” Rhys choked out, relaxing even more. It still felt a little like his fault, but--

“And anyway,” Eva continued, looking down at their joined hands. “I’m told that you were...frantic when you arrived.” Rhys noticed her attention, and he flushed before quickly dropping Lucien’s hand and shoving his hands in his pockets.

Eva smiled softly and stood from her chair. “I need some coffee.” Rhys knew she was watching him, but he kept staring at Lucien’s bandages. “I trust you’ll tell me if he wakes up.” Rhys looked up and nodded, and then she left.

Rhys glanced back at the door to make sure she was gone before reclaiming Lucien’s hand. “I’m so sorry,” he breathed. He gently touched Lucien’s shoulder with his free hand. “Your mom’s here...she seems lovely.” Rhys retracted his hand from Lucien’s shoulder and rested it on the mattress.

“The doctors say you’ll wake up soon, so I’ll just wait here,” Rhys whispered, looking down at the hand he held. He laughed sadly. “You’d probably tell me to go home, but I can’t just leave you here.” 

Rhys began to cry again and he brought Lucien’s hand to his lips, closing his eyes. He stayed like that, crying, not caring if anyone saw him.

\---------------

Mor let Pandora squeeze her hand as tight as she could as they walked down the hall to Lucien’s hospital room. She wasn’t taking this well, and let out a sob at the sight of Lucien lying there, unconscious.

Pandora let go of her hand and rushed to the bed, standing to Rhys’s right. Rhys didn’t acknowledge her presence besides shifting a bit to the left to make room for her. 

Mor realised he’d been standing there crying for a while now and grabbed a chair, pushing it over to him.

“Rhys, sit,” Mor said, putting her hand on his shoulder. He sat, not releasing Lucien’s hand. Mor sighed and leaned down to kiss Rhys’s hair. Rhys pressed Lucien’s hand to his forehead and closed his eyes.

She sidestepped to Pandora and wrapped her arms around her waist. Mor buried her face in Pandora’s shoulder, which trembled as she cried.

“Can I sit down? I need to sit down,” Pandora said, her voice strained. Mor backed away and grabbed the last extra chair and placed it next to Rhys’s. Pandora practically flopped down into it and gripped the chair arms. Mor stood behind her and stroked her hair in comfort as she watched Rhys.

His breathing had evened out, and Mor was relieved that he was finally sleeping. She was sure he hadn’t slept in almost 24 hours, having stayed awake all day yesterday and all through the night.

What Mor wasn’t sure about was why he and Lucien were out driving in the first place. Part of her hoped something had finally happened between them, but she couldn’t know yet. She knew Rhys loved him though, more--she thought--than he’d ever loved anyone else. It was sad that he’d kept it hidden for so long.

Mrs. Vanserra returned holding two cups of coffee. “One of them was for Rhysand,” she explained before handing one to Mor. “But he’s asleep, and I think that’s a good thing.” Mor nodded and Pandora looked over at him.

Mor turned her attention back to Rhys and Lucien as Mrs. Vanserra sat down on the other side of the bed.

“Is he happy?”

Mor blinked as she looked up at the woman. “Lucien?” Mrs. Vanserra nodded and Mor tilted her head, glancing back at Lucien. “Yes, I think so.”

Mrs. Vanserra smiled sadly. “And Rhysand--does he make Lucien happy?” Mor huffed and narrowed her eyes as she looked at Rhys.

“Yes, I like to think so,” Mor said and Mrs. Vanserra nodded, not expecting Mor to continue. “They both--they’re both lying to themselves and to each other.” Mrs. Vanserra hummed and Mor looked at her. “Except they’re terrible liars.”

Mrs. Vanserra laughed softly, still with that sad smile on her lips as she looked at her son. Pandora and Mor both watched her as she spoke.

“Lucien never--My husband has always been hard on him.” She shook her head. “He’s hard on all of our sons, but Lucien most of all,” She paused, frowning. “They were never allowed to show any emotion… So I’m glad to hear he’s broken out of that, if only partly.”

It was Mor’s turn to smile sadly. “Rhys cares for Lucien very much,” Mor whispered, and Mrs. Vanserra nodded.

“Good, then I guess my work here is done.” She began to walk towards the door, but Mor spoke.

“Wait, Mrs. Vanserra, don’t leave.” The woman paused near the door and turned back. “Please. Lucien--he misses you. Don’t let him think you’ve stopped caring.” Mrs. Vanserra glanced between the four of them, biting her lip.

She didn’t speak, just nodded slowly and returned to her seat. The room was silent save for the heart monitor for some time, and Mor quietly sipped from her coffee, watching Pandora watch it to make sure it kept going.

“His father will never speak to him again when he learns of their relationship,” Mrs. Vanserra commented, watching Lucien’s breathing. “Though I don’t he’ll mind being left alone.” Mor didn’t respond.

Hours passed, and Mor wasn’t surprised that Rhys still managed to stay asleep. She had gotten Pandora and Mrs. Vanserra a small breakfast at one point, which they ate in silence--waiting.

\----------------

Lucien’s breathing hitched and he opened his eyes--eye. _Wait, what?_ He blinked a couple of times, no, he was definitely only seeing out of his right eye. He’d deal with it later because right now he was looking at Mor, smiling broadly at him, and Pandora, looking more than a little relieved, and Rhys, sleeping on his hand.

Lucien wanted to let Rhys keep sleeping, but he sort of--needed his hand. He shifted it a bit, trying to free it from Rhys’s grasp. Rhys jolted.

“Is he--” He cut himself off as he spotted Lucien’s open eye and soft smile.

“Hey, pretty boy,” Lucien purred--well, he tried, his voice was a little rough. Rhys opened and closed his mouth several times as tears began to stream down his face. Based on the stains already on his face, this was not the first time he’d cried today. Lucien didn’t like that thought.

He reached out to run his hand through Rhys’s hair. “Hey, shhh, I’m okay. Everything’s okay.” Rhys shook his head, letting it dip down as he cried. “Shhh.” Lucien lifted Rhys chin before cupping his face with one hand, brushing away the tears. “Hmm, you’re a pretty crier, how lucky.”

Rhys let out a broken laugh and Lucien pulled his face closer. “Is this okay?” he asked, searching Rhys’s eyes for any regrets at what they’d spent the evening doing before the crash.

“Yes,” Rhys breathed and Lucien smiled before pulling him the rest of the way to join their lips. He got a vague sense of shock from Mor and Pandora, which only made him smile more.

Lucien hummed as he pulled Rhys’s face back again, brushing his thumb over his lips and biting at his own. “Oh, my lips are horribly chapped, I can’t believe you let me kiss you,” Lucien teased.

“I’ll get some water,” Mor blurted, and Lucien glanced over Rhys’s shoulder to see her face bright red as she walked towards the door. Pandora followed after her, giggling a bit and giving him a thumbs up, though—that was indeed knee-shaking relief in her eyes. Lucien laughed, throwing his head back on his pillows, even as he felt sharp pain in his chest.

Rhys glanced slowly to Lucien’s left and Lucien’s laughter faded as he followed his gaze and it was replaced with shock and horror.

“Mom!” Lucien exclaimed, and Rhys sat back down in his seat. “I--um--I can explain.” He glanced between Rhys and his mother, who was smiling at him.

“I’m not upset, Lucien,” she said, shaking her head. “I was just worried about you.” She squeezed his wrist and Lucien’s face crumpled. “They called the house, and, luckily, I answered and not your father.”

“Does he know you’re here?” Lucien said worriedly. His mother shook her head. “You have to go home then. You can’t stay here. He’ll--”

“Shhhh,” Mother said. “I’ll go, I just wanted to see that you were okay.” She glanced at Rhys. “Clearly, you’re going to be great, so I’m great.” Lucien smiled weakly at her as she leaned over to kiss his forehead. Then his mother left and Lucien turned to Rhys for support.

“What happened?” Lucien asked, and Rhys took his hand before telling him.


	34. Chapter 34

Lucien Vanserra still wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t dreaming, no matter how many times Rhys told him.

Rhys, who was lying next to him in his hospital bed, drawing little shapes on his chest. He was careful to keep his fingers light so he wouldn’t hurt Lucien’s healing ribs. Lucien’s heart swelled every time he looked at him.

“Lucien?” Rhys whispered, meeting his eyes in the dim darkness of the room.

“Yes?”

“What are we?” he asked, his fingers pausing. Lucien lifted a brow. “I mean, like, what do I call you?” 

“Light of my life, saviour of my soul--” Rhys pinched his shoulder and Lucien flung out his finger. “I am an injured man, sir. Kindly do not wound me more.” Rhys huffed but smiled.

“I already have a list of pet names to call you, don’t worry,” Rhys said, brushing his knuckles across Lucien’s cheek. “But I’m serious. How am I supposed to introduce you to other people?” Lucien caught his hand and interlaced their fingers.

“Ah, I see,” Lucien said with a little smirk. Then he shrugged, looking down at their hands. “I figured I’d call you my boyfriend unless you’d prefer something else.”

“No, that’s okay, I was just wondering,” Rhys said, a bit of colour staining his cheeks.

“Gods, you’re adorable,” Lucien said before leaning over to kiss his boyfriend. Rhys’s hand slid down to grab his backside and Lucien smirked despite knowing he was too injured to do much of anything. But just for Rhys’s amusement, he let out a groan into his mouth.

Rhys indeed grinned and gave him a squeeze.

“Am I interrupting?” Pandora asked loudly from the doorway. They broke apart and gave opposing answers. Lucien’s was a casual ‘no’ while Rhys’s was an exasperated ‘yes’. Pandora snorted and brought in a few bouquets of flowers. “There’s more coming.”

“From who?” Lucien said, sitting up slowly. He winced a bit and Rhys pushed him back against the pillows with a look. Lucien pouted a bit and Rhys pecked his lips before sliding off the bed to help Pandora.

“Your fans is what Mor called them,” Pandora said, letting Rhys take one of the bouquets to put on the bedside table. “Sappy teenagers, mostly.” She sat on the end of Lucien’s bed. “I told Mor she couldn’t have all the chocolates, so she should be bringing them in here soon.”

“The public is very concerned for you, it seems,” Rhys said, brushing Lucien’s hair from his face. Lucien grimaced, but not because of Rhys’s touch. 

“Don’t they know I’m fine?” He said, frowning.

Lucien didn’t want this kind of attention, not when he already felt weak. He could barely breathe without feeling sharp pain from his broken ribs, could hardly be touched because of all the bruises and still-healing cuts, not to mention the fact that he’d lost his fucking eye. 

He’d be getting a glass one in three to six weeks, after the socket healed from the surgery. For now he looked like a pirate. Luckily, Rhys didn’t seem to mind. In fact, the for the first day he insisted on talking like a pirate despite Lucien’s pounding headache.

Said headache had subsided after the painkillers they pumped through his IV and hadn’t returned in the past two days.

“Sure, but they still care about you,” Rhys said, looking into his eyes—eye. Lucien felt Pandora avert her gaze, finding the flowers more interesting. 

Lucien just hummed in response, still frowning as he dragged his gaze over Rhys’s torso, his arms. Rhys opened his mouth to say something else, but Mor breezed into the room with a pile of letters and boxes of chocolates. 

“Maybe I need to get injured if it means people bring me chocolate,” Mor joked as Pandora rushed to help her set everything on the table. Lucien’s mouth twitched up at her cheery disposition.

Rhys leaned against the mattress as Mor handed Lucien the stack of letters. It was tied together with twine in a neat bow.

“Apparently one girl got people to send messages on Twitter so she could give them all to you,” Mor said as Lucien took the letters. “That’s what most of those are.”

Lucien felt his eyes burn. “But I don’t--I’m not an actor.” Mor cocked her head as she sat down by the bed. “Why--How can I mean so much to them?”

“Your philanthropy, probably. Your activism, definitely,” Mor said with a shrug.

“I’m just being a decent person,” Lucien mumbled, brushing his thumb over the top envelope. Rhys’s hand stroked through his hair.

“Sure, but you’re still helping people, and they’re allowed to be thankful,” Pandora said, sitting at the end of his bed again. “You care about people, Lucien. They care about you in return.” Lucien nodded softly as Pandora patted his legs.

“Are you hungry?” Mor asked. “Pandora and I were going to go out for lunch.” Pandora turned and gave her girlfriend a questioning look. Mor communicated to her silently something that Lucien couldn’t pick up on.

Then Pandora’s brows flicked up and she nodded slowly as she spoke, “Right, lunch.” The smile that appeared on her face implied they’d be eating something other than food. Rhys snorted, probably realising the same thing. Mor glared at him and he stuck out his tongue.

Pandora glanced over at Lucien and gave him a look that said, _We are dating_ children. Lucien wanted to laugh but he knew his chest would hurt, so he just nodded and grinned at her.

“You can starve,” Mor said to Rhys as she stood and walked over to Pandora. Lucien thought he noticed a bit of worry in her eyes after she spoke. It was there and gone in a moment, and Mor had led Pandora out of the room with quick goodbyes before he could process it.

For the next few hours Lucien read through that stack of letters. Some made him laugh, some made him cry. Rhys posted a video on Snapchat of him getting particularly emotional over one of them.

“Lucien is crying reading your letters,” he’d said. Lucien had batted him away with a sniffle that made him wince.

Then Rhys had sat next to him and played with his hair. It made him feel better. 

Lucien had written replies in purple ink because it was apparently the only pen Rhys had, while Rhys made him guess what was in the pieces of chocolates he fed him. Lucien refrained from looking at him because every time he did, his heart ached with affection.

Now, Lucien turned to him as he finished off another reply. “Are you going to head home soon?” he asked Rhys. Because the sun was setting and his meds were making him a bit drowsy. Plus he caught Rhys’s eyes drooping as he read his book.

Rhys nodded as he turned another page. Lucien smiled softly as he reached up and brushed his thumb over Rhys’s cheek before resting his forehead on Rhys’s shoulder.

“Tired, darling?” Rhys asked as he pressed a kiss to Lucien’s hair. Lucien mumbled in agreement and he heard Rhys close his book, felt him shift to put it on the bedside table. Then they maneuvered around so Lucien was lying back against the pillows again and Rhys was sitting in a chair, holding his hand. 

“I’ll stay till you fall asleep, alright?” Rhys said, brushing his thumb across the back of Lucien’s hand. Lucien nodded with a small smile and closed his eyes.

\-----------

The next afternoon, Lucien softly dragged his fingers through Rhys’s hair as he napped beside him. Rhys’s hand rested over his heart as if he was making sure it was still beating and his head was nestled into the crook of Lucien’s neck.

Lucien was attempting to complete a crossword puzzle when Pandora popped into the room. His eyes flicked up from his puzzle and he smiled.

“Hello, my fun-size friend,” he said to greet her. Pandora scrunched up her nose at the nickname.

“Afternoon, ginger,” she replied, pulling up a chair. Her regular seat at the end of the bed was currently occupied by Rhys’s feet. “I hear they’re freeing you tomorrow.” Lucien huffed a laugh.

“Don’t get any fun ideas,” Lucien warned. “My stupid ribs won’t heal for six weeks.” Pandora pouted and Lucien rolled his eyes.

Pandora’s gaze shifted from him to Rhys and she frowned. “It’s 4:30 in the afternoon.” Her words held no contempt. Instead, Lucien thought that was concern in her tone.

Lucien looked down at his boyfriend and took the hand resting on his chest. Rhys’s head shifted a bit and Lucien sighed. He glanced over at Pandora and found her biting her lip like she was trying not to say something.

“What,” he said, but she shook her head and looked away. Lucien opened his mouth, but then paused to think for a moment before speaking. “When’s the last time he went home?”

Pandora’s eyes were full of pity when she looked at him. “He hasn’t been home. Not since the first night after the crash.”

“ _What?_ ”

Lucien could’ve sworn Rhys’s body tensed.

“And he didn’t even stay the night,” Pandora said. “He was here when we got here the next morning and he looked--haunted.” She tapped her finger on the arm of her chair. “He told Mor that he’d had a dream that you--died. In the crash. That it’d been so bad he couldn’t tell if it was real and he’d raced back here to check that you were still alive.”

Lucien hadn’t realised he’d started crying until a tear dropped onto his chest. “But I’m okay,” he choked out. “And he knows that.”

Pandora shook her head. “You should’ve--You didn’t see him that night. He may act all calm and collected now, but he was in a _panic_.” She shook her head again, as if clearing the memory, even as she stared right at Rhys. “I have no desire to see him in that state ever again.” She let out a long breath and shook her head once more. “I don’t think he will be over this for a long time.”

Rhys hadn’t described that night in such a way, but Lucien supposed that was the point. He wasn’t sure if he was angry at him for it. 

“But it’s not his fault.”

Pandora’s frown deepened. “To him it is.” She leaned back in her chair. “Mor says he’s been like this forever. Always needing to protect what-- _who_ he loves.” She pursed her lips. “It is always his fault, his burden. She doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself.”

\------------

“I know you’re awake,” Lucien said after Pandora had left, his hand still dragging through Rhys’s hair. Rhys hummed and tilted his head up to seal their lips. Lucien’s hand paused in his hair, gripping it instead.

When Rhys tried to deepen the kiss, Lucien pulled his head back.

“How long have you been awake?” Lucien asked, releasing his hair. Rhys shrugged, and Lucien frowned.

“Pretty much since Pandora arrived,” Rhys mumbled. Lucien sighed and closed his eyes. Rhys’s stomach dropped and he swallowed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lucien said when he opened his eye--one full of sadness. Rhys rolled onto his back as he shook his head. Lucien sat up, even though Rhys saw his jaw clenched from the pain. “This isn’t going to work if you don’t talk to me.”

Rhys knew _this_ didn’t just mean the conversation at hand.

He brushed his knuckles against Lucien’s arm, not meeting his boyfriend’s gaze. “I didn’t want to burden you. You’d already been through so much and you didn’t--you don’t need my problems on top of that.”

Lucien grasped his chin gently and turned his face to him. “Your burdens are my burdens now, love. You aren’t alone anymore.” Rhys closed his eyes and felt Lucien’s thumb brush against his cheek. 

Lucien sucked in a breath like he was going to say something else, but nothing came. Rhys opened his eyes and scanned Lucien’s face. His lips were open a bit, and there was a slight crease between his eyebrows. 

“What?”

Lucien shook his head with a soft smile and leaned down to kiss him again.

\------------

The next day Lucien was being pushed in a wheelchair toward the exit of the hospital by Rhys.

His boyfriend had gone home at his insistence yesterday evening. He was only gone a couple of hours, but at least he hadn’t been in this sterile hell like Lucien had.

Cauldron, after a week Lucien was done with hospitals for the rest of his life. It was suffocating. He had just had his first check-up for his eye during which the doctor checked on how it was healing and gave him antibiotic drops to apply multiple times a day.

Rhys leaned down and whispered in his ear, “All the nurses are oh so sad to see you go.” Lucien snorted and batted Rhys’s arm.

He pulled a mock reprimanding face and looked back at Rhys. “Stop making me laugh, sir. It hurts my chest.” He meant it as a joke, even though it was true, but Rhys grimaced and nodded. Not knowing how to respond, Lucien faced forward again as they reached the doors.

Lucien smiled when he saw Cassian leaning against his car in the drive-thru lane. 

Cassian had visited on the second day after the crash, but he’d been busy the rest of the week. In fact, he wasn’t even supposed to be picking them up today. It was supposed to be Mor and Pandora here.

“Foxboy!” Cassian called with a smirk. “You’re looking good today.” Lucien rolled his eyes as they reached the car. Rhys and Cassian embraced, and Lucien found himself gripping the arms of the wheelchair at the thought of getting in the car.

“Where are Mor and Pandora?” Rhys asked. He and Lucien looked at Cassian expectantly. His face soured and he crossed his arms.

“Pandora is at the gym and Mor is at home sulking,” Cassian said. Lucien blinked and opened his mouth to ask the obvious question, but Cassian was already answering it. “They got in an argument, at least that’s what Mor called it.”

“They’ll work it out,” Rhys said quickly. Lucien raised a brow as he looked at Rhys. Rhys dismissed it with a slight shake of his head, and Lucien narrowed his eyes but Rhys had already looked away.

Cassian was looking between them, waiting. “If you’re done with your,” Cassian wiggled his fingers, “then let’s get going.”

Lucien took as deep a breath as he could before standing from his chair. The doctor said to limit any sharp movements so he didn’t accidentally puncture his lung. He was happy to listen to her as he got into the car and scooted carefully into the middle seat. 

Sitting in the middle wasn’t something anyone had recommended, Lucien just didn’t think he’d be able to… handle sitting in any other seat. He watched Rhys return the wheelchair as Cassian got into the driver’s seat.

“You scared the shit out of all of us, you know,” Cassian said, and Lucien looked over at him where he was twisted around in his seat. “Both of you did.” Lucien glanced back at the hospital where Rhys was exiting the doors again. “He was on edge both times he came home. Less yesterday, but--” Cassian shook his head. “Don’t be surprised if he still won’t leave you alone.”

Cassian turned forward again as Rhys slid into the seat to Lucien’s right, leaving Lucien to process what he’d just been told. Rhys kissed Lucien’s cheek, and Lucien smiled and took his hand.

“Seat belts?” Cass said, looking at them through the rear view mirror. They both nodded. “Perfect, let’s go home.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Physical and Verbal abuse :(

Lucien batted Rhys’s hand away as Rhys reached out to touch one of the glass eyes in the box. Rhys reached out again, slowly this time, and Lucien seized his wrist.

Lucien slowly turned his head towards his boyfriend, his eyes narrowed. Rhys grinned, and Lucien rolled his eyes, squeezing Rhys’s wrist before releasing it.

Rhys brushed his hand over Lucien’s shoulder as he crossed behind him. Lucien looked up from the eyes to watch him go to the cupboard and pull out a bag of crisps. He opened them as he walked back over to Lucien, still stood at the counter.

Lucien averted his gaze as Rhys came closer and leaned against the counter beside him. Lucien couldn’t decide which shade of brown was the right one, but he and Rhys stayed near-silent for a while. The only sound was the chips crunching in Rhys’s mouth.

Lucien huffed and turned to Rhys. “There’s too many fucking shades of brown.” Rhys straightened, and Lucien could tell he was hiding a smile.

“That one’s the right one,” Rhys said, pointing at one Lucien hadn’t even considered. Lucien picked it up and studied it for a moment before raising a brow at Rhys. “I promise.”

“How are you so sure?” Lucien asked, brows furrowed. Rhys looked down, a flush creeping onto his face.

“Because I’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time looking at your eyes,” Rhys said, rubbing the back of his neck. Lucien blinked. They’d been together for 6 weeks now and Lucien had still yet to get used to it and the casual affection that came with it.

The corners of Lucien’s mouth tugged up and he tilted Rhys’s head up with a finger under his chin. Then he kissed Rhys, grasping his face in his hands. Rhys wrapped his arms around Lucien’s waist and pulled him closer.

Lucien savoured the feeling of Rhys’s body against his as he threaded his fingers through his hair. Rhys’s fingers skimmed along the band of Lucien’s trousers, and Lucien tried to pretend like he didn’t notice.

Rhys pressed their foreheads together, his eyes still closed. Lucien let his hands drop from Rhys’s hair to drop casually behind his neck.

Looking at Rhys so close, Lucien felt those words on the tip of his tongue, as they had been for months. Until a couple weeks ago, Rhys seldom caught him on the verge of voicing them, but recently…

Rhys scanned Lucien’s face as he opened his eyes. “Why won’t you say what’s on your mind?” Rhys’s hands moved in soothing strokes across his back. Lucien looked down and Rhys nudged his nose with his own. “Please tell me.”

“I’m afraid I’ll scare you off,” Lucien murmured, meeting Rhys’s gaze.

“That’s silly,” Rhys said, brushing his mouth against Lucien’s cheek as his thumb brushed over Lucien’s hipbone. Lucien let out a long breath before turning Rhys’s head so he could look him in the eye.

“I love you.”

Rhys looked like he was forcing down a smile, but it kept peeking out.

“Oh,” Rhys choked out. Lucien swallowed and a soft smile stuck on Rhys’s face. He shrugged. “That’s good then since I love you too.”

“You what?”

Lucien thought Rhys would laugh at him, but he must’ve heard the genuine surprise in Lucien’s voice. He cupped Lucien’s face in his hands.

“I love you,” Rhys said before pecking his lips. Rhys brushed his thumb over Lucien’s mouth and Lucien let his eyes fall closed. “So much.” Rhys pulled him close again and nestled his head in the crook of Lucien’s neck. Lucien was content to stay like that forever.

———

That night Pandora came over, frustrated with Mor and in need of a venting session. Rhys had gone home, though he’d texted Lucien a few minutes ago to tell him that he, Cassian, and Azriel were going drinking. Lucien hoped they wouldn’t get too horribly smashed.

Pandora was turned towards him on the couch, her head propped on her hand. “I do everything I can to support her and her career and she--” Pandora shook her head with a huff. “I have dreams too.”

Lucien frowned and sipped his tea. He could not imagine Mor being unsupportive, so maybe she was just stressed out, but Lucien wasn’t going to suggest that to Pandora.

“I sort of… skipped the reason I got upset today in the first place,” Pandora said, fiddling with a stray thread on her shirt. She looked up at the ceiling, and Lucien waited patiently for her to explain. “I got an offer from my--for lack of a better description--dream team.”

“That’s amazing!” Lucien said, his mouth hanging open. Pandora gave him a weak smile as her throat bobbed.

“Right?” Pandora choked out, gesturing with her hand. Her face crumbled and a few tears slid down her cheeks as she blinked. She laughed helplessly and wiped them away. Lucien reached out to take her hand. He squeezed it softly as she ran her other hand over her face.

She took a few shallow breaths. “I told her about it, of course--” She swallowed again, taking more shallow breaths as more tears fell. “And she immediately just… shut down.” Lucien’s heart ached at the strain in her voice. “She didn’t congratulate me or anything. She acted as if I hadn’t said anything at all.”

Lucien had the thought that maybe Mor just didn’t want to think about the possibility of Pandora moving to another state, but, like before, he didn’t think Pandora would want to hear that right now.

“Naturally, I was upset, and I tried to talk to her about it,” she continued, “but she wasn’t fucking listening to me.” She laid her head against the couch cushion. “What am I supposed to do? She’s clearly upset, but she won’t talk to me and it’s making _me_ feel like shit for having aspirations.”

“You have to...tell her she’s going to talk to you,” Lucien said. “I mean, if you ask her to talk to you, she can say no, but if you _tell_ her…”

“No, I get it,” Pandora said, sighing as she closed her eyes. She squeezed Lucien’s hand. “Sorry I’m such a mess.”

“You supported me for months, this is the least I can do,” Lucien said. Her lips twitched up a bit and she peeked out of one eye at him.

“How is that going by the way?” Pandora asked. Lucien let himself smile, though a flush crept onto his face.

“I told him that I love him,” Lucien said. Pandora squealed, and Lucien knew she had buried her thoughts of Mor for right now.

“And?”

“ _And_ he—“ Lucien shook his head with a stupid smile. “He feels the same, to say the least.” Pandora wiggled her eyebrows, and Lucien’s blush deepened. They hadn’t _done_ anything, not really, but here he was blushing like a teenager.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Lucien said, batting her arm. She continued to look at him with a raised brow. “Fine,” she grinned, “We may or may not have spent...a while making out on the couch.”

“Hmm, interesting,” Pandora said, attempting to seem insightful, though she was fighting a laugh.

Lucien chucked a pillow at her head.

———

“Please, will you come to lunch with me?” Rhys said, placing his hands on Lucien’s shoulders and rubbing them a bit. Lucien’s typing faltered as Rhys continued to knead his shoulders.

Rhys leaned down and tugged at his ear with his teeth. “Please?” Lucien sucked in a breath as Rhys pressed on a knot. Rhys craned his head to see that Lucien’s eyes had fallen closed. He knew that Lucien needed a break. It was nearing 4 in the afternoon and he hadn’t taken one all day.

Rhys slid his hands down over Lucien’s chest and pressed a kiss behind his ear. “Baby, you need a break, come get something to eat,” Rhys murmured. Lucien took one of his hands and brushed his thumb over it before turning his head to seal their lips.

It had been a week and a half since Lucien had told Rhys he loved him and three days since Lucien’s glass eye had been implanted. Lucien had been back at work almost since he got out of the hospital, much to Rhys’s dismay. He had thrown himself back into it, and Rhys knew it was because the productivity distracted him from what he was feeling inside.

“Okay, let’s go,” Lucien said, pulling away. He stood from his chair and closed his laptop. Rhys expected him to walk on after that, but Lucien wrapped his arms around him. “I love you.” Rhys hugged him back.

“I love you too.”

Rhys held Lucien until he let go and took his hand again, leading him out of his office.

They passed Tamlin on their way out, who gave them a look of disgust that Lucien returned, to Tamlin’s annoyance. Lucien squeezed Rhys’s hand with a sharp grin on his face. He looked very proud of himself.

As they walked down the street, hand in hand, Rhys kept stealing glances at Lucien.

“I love being able to do this,” Rhys said. Lucien looked over at him with a raised brow and a little smile.

“Do what, pretty boy?” Lucien asked.

“Hold your hand,” Rhys said, squeezing said hand. Lucien gave him a satisfied smile. That smile usually only appeared in dreams that Rhys had to take cold showers after, not that Lucien knew that.

Rhys let out a breath as Lucien looked away again. _Shit, why was he so fucking horny?_

He and Lucien stopped at a small cafe and sat outside to eat. Rhys got only a milkshake, having eaten lunch earlier. Lucien got iced tea and a panini full of cheese and tomato and other assorted ingredients that he fancied.

Rhys told Lucien about a show that he’d been binge-watching as his boyfriend ate. He occasionally sipped from his milkshake, and this time he caught Lucien watching him with his head propped on his fist.

“What?” Rhys said, swallowing his milkshake quickly and ignoring how cold it made his throat.

“You’re so fucking cute,” Lucien said. Rhys flushed and Lucien grinned before leaning forward to peck his lips. Then Lucien’s expression changed and Rhys struggled not to catch his breath at the raw desire on Lucien’s face. _Well, shit_.

“I do not think Amren would mind if I went home early,” Lucien said, brushing his fingers against Rhys’s arm. Rhys swallowed, glancing between those fingers and Lucien’s eyes. “I have been working long hours anyway and she’s getting a bit fed up with me.”

Lucien retracted his hand and sat back in his seat, his face going serious.

“Do you want me to come home early?” Lucien asked, though Rhys knew what he was really asking.

“Yes, please,” Rhys said, trying not to sound too desperate. Lucien smiled slowly.

“We’ve got to get my things from the office first,” Lucien said. “I hope that’s alright.” Rhys knew Lucien was playing with him, but he didn’t care.

“Perfectly alright.”

———

An hour later they were kissing on Lucien’s couch. Lucien was straddling Rhys’s lap and gripping his face with both hands. Rhys was in the process of untucking and unbuttoning Lucien’s shirt as Lucien tried not to react to the feeling of Rhys’s fingers on his skin.

Rhys’s hands were warm as they ran up Lucien’s chest to his shoulders. Lucien sat back as Rhys pushed Lucien’s shirt down his arms. He kept eye contact with Rhys the whole time.

Lucien wished he could tell what was going through Rhys’s head at that moment. His pretty lips were parted slightly as he breathed deceptively evenly. Deceptive because Lucien glanced down and noticed his half hard cock, straining slightly in his jeans.

Lucien hummed as Rhys followed his gaze and swallowed. He leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“A bit excited, are we?”

Rhys grasped his thighs and Lucien smirked against his ear before beginning to trail kisses along his jaw, then down his neck. He went slowly, sucking as he did.

Rhys let out a soft moan, threading one hand through Lucien’s hair. Lucien rested his hands just above Rhys’s waistband.

“Rhys,” he murmured against his skin.

“Yes?” Rhys breathed, his free hand resting on Lucien’s back.

“Can I?” Lucien said, tapping Rhys’s belt. He felt Rhys look down, then let out a shaky breath. Lucien thought he heard the elevator chime at that moment and his eyes flicked up, but he ignored it because—

“Please,” Rhys said, though it sounded more like a question. Lucien swiftly unbuckled Rhys’s belt as Rhys stroked his thighs. Lucien was about to unbutton his jeans when he heard the stomping. His hands stopped as he looked up, his stomach dropping.

“Lucien, what?” Rhys said as he twisted to see whoever it was. His eyes widened in panic.

_No, no, no, no, no_. Lucien barely had time to scramble out of Rhys’s lap before Beron was upon him. He prayed Rhys would stay where he was.

Lucien barely felt the sting as Beron slapped him, though his eyes watered a little.

“You _filthy_ , man-loving whore,” Beron spat. Lucien kept the fear off his face, out of his eye.

Lucien’s prayers weren’t answered.

Rhys stood and tried to put himself between Lucien and his father. Lucien couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped him as Beron gripped Rhys’s chin hard enough to bruise.

“You had such potential, but then you had to go and shack up with my bastard son,” Beron said, disgust plain on his face.

“Father, leave him alone,” Lucien said firmly, stepping up beside Rhys. Beron glanced at him before releasing Rhys sharply.

Lucien didn’t have time to prepare for the punch Beron then threw at his stomach. He doubled over, pain emanating from where he’d been hit. His breaths were short.

“Leave Rhysand,” his father ordered, not even looking at Rhys as he said it. “You were always the weak one, Lucien, just like your mother.”

“Do not talk about her that way,” Lucien said, pointing a finger at his father as he straightened a bit. Beron laughed a bit before punching him again, this time in the face.

Lucien groaned in pain and felt blood trickle from his now-split lip. He hoped Rhys wasn’t here to see this.

“She begged me not to come here,” Beron continued. “Eris even joined her.” Beron shrugged. “Pity for him.”

Lucien stood upright as Beron turned his head to find Rhys still here.

“I thought I told you to leave,” Beron said, though it was closer to a growl. “This is a family matter.”

“I’m not leaving without him,” Rhys said, meeting Lucien’s pleading gaze. He needed to _go_.

“That makes this much more difficult,” Beron said, a sinister smile curving on his mouth.

“Get out.”

Beron laughed. Lucien squeezed his eyes shut.

“Or what?”

“Or I call the police,” Rhys said calmly, holding up his phone.

Beron narrowed his eyes. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Wouldn’t I?”

Beron growled and turned back to Lucien, gripping his throat hard enough that Lucien couldn’t breath.

“You’re not to see or speak to anyone in this family ever again.”

With that, he left, storming towards the elevator. As soon as Beron had released him, Lucien’s knees gave out and Rhys rushed forward to catch him.

Rhys lowered him gently to the ground, but continued to cradle his torso in his arms. Lucien couldn’t or wouldn’t open his eyes.

“Hey, hey, darling,” Rhys said softly. “Open your eyes, please.” Rhys brushed back the hair on his forehead.

Lucien opened his eyes and gazed up at Rhys. “I’m sorry,” he choked out before coughing up blood. Fuck.

Rhys brushed his fingers over his face and Lucien winced at the pain from the bruises already blooming. “Whatever for?”

“For bringing you into this,” Lucien said, fiddling with Rhys’s shirt as he averted his eyes. “You can leave me...you _should_ leave me.”

Lucien glanced up to see Rhys frown and shake his head.

“I hate to break it to you, but I’m here forever. You’ll never be rid of me.”

Lucien choked on what he wasn’t sure was a laugh or a sob as Rhys picked him up and walked him back to the couch. Rhys set him down softly before going into the kitchen.

He returned with a damp washcloth and wiped away the blood that had dribbled down his chin from his lip.

“Does anything feel broken?” Rhys asked, scanning his body. Lucien shook his head and Rhys bit his lip before returning to the kitchen.

He came back with a glass of water and an ibuprofen. He sat down on the edge of the couch and handed both to Lucien.

As Lucien drank, Rhys spoke, “Beron is a real mood killer isn’t he.” Lucien’s face crumpled, tears lining his eyes.

“I don’t deserve you,” Lucien said, reaching up to touch Rhys’s face. Rhys grasped his hand and turned his head to kiss his palm. “Will you hold me?”

“Of course.”

It took some maneuvering around but eventually Lucien was leaning back against Rhys’s chest, his boyfriend’s arms securely around his front. Rhys’s face was buried in his shoulder, and Lucien was safe again.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heckin' nsfw mates be warned

“Rhys, stop it,” Lucien groaned, though he was smiling as he shielded his face from Rhys’s camera. 

Rhys grabbed his hand. “Please? You look so pretty.” Rhys pulled his puppy eyes and Lucien couldn’t say no.

“Fine.” Lucien leaned against the railing as Rhys grinned in victory. 

“Smile please,” Rhys said, looking through the viewfinder of his camera. Lucien flashed him an overly wide smile and Rhys’s face soured. He lowered the camera from his face. “Not like that,” he whined. 

Lucien’s smile softened, and he let Rhys tell him what to do because he loved the way his boyfriend’s eyes lit up when he got the shot he wanted. 

“Perfect!” Rhys exclaimed, and Lucien’s heart swelled. “Now move, I want to get some of the Falls.” Lucien obeyed and watched Rhys as he moved closer to the railing. He took a mental picture of how Rhys looked with his brows furrowed in concentration, one eye peering through the viewfinder. 

“I admire your patience,” Lucien said. “I’d get too frustrated if the photo didn’t come out right.”

“You’ll probably be saying the opposite in a few hours,” Rhys mumbled. 

“Pardon?”

Rhys flushed and swallowed. “I mean I’m not very patient in different circumstances.” Lucien’s brows flicked up, Lucien blinked and then he smirked. 

“I hadn’t realised that was your plan for this evening,” Lucien said. “Apologies, my love.” Rhys’s blush deepened as he lowered his camera. 

“I didn’t—if that’s not what you want to do—“ Rhys stopped as Lucien shook his head, looking out at Niagara Falls. 

“That’s perfectly fine.” Lucien tried not to act like he hadn’t been waiting to fuck Rhys since possibly the day they met. Especially as Rhys smiled a bit before leaning in to kiss him, a hand cupping his face.

“I really wish we were in our hotel room right now,” Lucien whispered against Rhys’s lips. Rhys laughed and pulled away. 

“Did I mention we’re going on that?” Rhys asked, pointing to a boat down next to the Falls. 

“Oh, joy.” Rhys ignored his sarcasm and grabbed his hand, pulling him along to see more. 

———

Lucien ran his hand through Rhys’s damp hair. Rhys’s head was resting in his lap as they laid in the grass of a sunny park.

Even with the ponchos they’d been given, their hair and shoes were still soaked through from the heavy mist. 

Lucien had propped himself up on a hand to look lovingly down at Rhys’s face. His eyes were closed and the sun cast shadows over his sculpted face. Lucien brushed his fingers over Rhys’s brow, and Rhys opened his eyes. 

Rhys smiled up at him, his eyes blinking lazily. “Your hair looks like liquid metal.” Lucien let out a breath and ran his fingers along Rhys’s hairline. 

Lucien had realised a few weeks ago that being with Rhys was the most at peace he had ever been. Work was stressful, yes, but it didn’t matter so long as Rhys stayed in his life. 

He did desperately need this vacation, however. It allowed him to breathe and not be constantly thinking about everything he needed to do. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“You,” Lucien said, stroking Rhys’s face with the back of his hand. 

Rhys hummed and leaned up to kiss him, his hand gripping the back of Lucien’s neck. Lucien wrapped his arm around Rhys’s torso, pulling him closer. 

To Lucien’s dismay, Rhys pulled away quickly. He pecked Lucien’s lips once more, Lucien leaning forward to try and deepen it. Rhys chuckled as he stood up, offering his hand to Lucien. 

Lucien frowned but took his hand and stood as well. Rhys pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and the corners of Lucien’s mouth twitched up. “Do you have more planned for today?”

“Just dinner and then probably more ice cream.” Rhys began walking towards the street, leading Lucien along. Lucien squeezed Rhys’s hand as they walked and Rhys squeezed back. 

———

“Are you sure about this?” Lucien said as Rhys closed the door of their hotel room. He’d only started feeling nervous as they’d been walking back to their hotel. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, he just didn’t want to mess it up with Rhys. 

“I’m sure,” Rhys said, crossing the room with a confidence that Lucien wished he could manage. Rhys stopped right in front of him and ran his hands up and down his arms. “Are  _ you _ sure about this?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Lucien breathed, his eyes flicking to Rhys’s lips. Rhys smiled and Lucien couldn’t help it any longer. He gripped Rhys’s face and sealed their lips with a ferocity that had Rhys moaning into his mouth. Lucien wrapped his arms tightly around Rhys’s head, aching to pull him closer, closer. 

Rhys’s body moulded against his, Rhys sliding his arms around Lucien’s waist, his hands pressing into Lucien’s back. 

Lucien let Rhys guide him toward the bed, too caught up in the feel of his lips, his body to take control of the situation. He sucked in a breath as Rhys pressed him down into the bed. 

“Is this okay?” Rhys said, his hands braced on either side of Lucien’s head. 

“Yes.”  _ For now _ . 

Rhys leaned down and trailed kisses along Lucien’s jaw, and Lucien let his eyes fall closed. Rhys’s teeth scraped against his collarbone and he held back a moan, biting his lip. 

Rhys pulled away and hovered over him. He brushed back a piece of Lucien’s hair with a little smile before standing upright to take off his shirt, dropping it on the floor. 

Lucien ran his eyes over Rhys’s torso despite having seen him shirtless many times before. He sat up and ran his hands up Rhys’s chest, over his shoulders and down his arms. He saw Rhys swallow as his hands slid over Rhys’s ass. 

Lucien hid his smile as he pressed a kiss to Rhys’s navel. Rhys sucked in a breath, and Lucien pulled away, leaning back on his hands.

Rhys glared at him, annoyed. “Someone should’ve told me you’re a tease,” he grumbled. 

“It’s just so  _ easy _ ,” Lucien said as Rhys climbed into his lap. Lucien blinked slowly at him, an eyebrow raised, waiting. 

Rhys kissed him languidly and Lucien rolled over on top of him. 

“I see how it is,” Rhys mumbled against his lips. Lucien rolled his hips into Rhys’s and Rhys gasped, his own hips bucking up into Lucien’s. Lucien hummed and moved his lips to Rhys’s neck as he reached for Rhys’s trousers. 

“Is this okay?” Lucien said in Rhys’s ear as his fingers undid the button on Rhys’s trousers.

“Yes, please hurry up,” Rhys said, his breathing uneven. Lucien smiled and straightened so he could pull off Rhys’s pants. He deliberately brushed his fingers against Rhys’s hardened cock and Rhys looked like he was trying to scowl but it failed. Especially as Lucien hovered over him again. 

Lucien gripped Rhys’s cock and watched as Rhys’s mouth fell open. He kissed Rhys lazily as he began to pump his hand. They had gone this far before. It was what came after that made Lucien nervous. He pushed that out of his mind as Rhys groaned into his mouth.

“So,” Rhys began as Lucien released his lips, still hovering close enough to feel his breath, “Are you going to fuck me or not?”

“Is that what you want me to do?” Lucien watched Rhys’s eyes squeeze shut as he scraped his nail against Rhys’s length. Lucien tugged Rhys’s lip between his teeth. “I asked you a question, pretty boy.”

“ _ Shit _ ,” Rhys choked out. Lucien twisted his hand a bit and Rhys let out a shaky breath. “Yes, that’s what I want you to do—Fuck—“ Rhys jerked into Lucien’s hand. “It’s what I’ve—Gods, it’s what I’ve wanted you to do for  _ months. _ ”

Lucien cocked a brow, releasing Rhys’s cock. “Months?” Rhys glowered and Lucien grinned. “Well, I do hope it’ll be sufficient.”

“Unlikely,” Rhys breathed before they both laughed softly at his expense. 

“You’re sure?” Lucien said, serious again. Rhys cupped his face with both hands, and Lucien searched his eyes. 

“Positive,” Rhys said with a little smile. Lucien’s heart swelled with love. “What?” Lucien shook his head and pecked Rhys’s lips, smiling softly. 

Lucien got out of bed and walked to his suitcase. 

“Where are you going?” Rhys whined. Lucien snorted as he took out the condoms and lube he’d packed, hoping that he and Rhys would get to this point. They had discussed it, but Lucien hadn’t been sure that Rhys would want to just yet. 

As he walked back towards the bed, Rhys’s eyes trailed him. Lucien set the items down on the bedside table and glanced at Rhys as he pulled off his shirt. 

Rhys was propped up on his elbows and he had moved further onto the bed. He blushed as Lucien tugged off his trousers and boxers at the same time. Rhys’s eyes flicked down quickly before Rhys met Lucien’s gaze once more.

“Will you…” Lucien paused, biting his lip. Then he climbed onto the bed and looked down at Rhys. “Can I put some pillows under you?” Rhys nodded and lifted his hips, and Lucien proceeded to slide a short stack of pillows under them. Lucien avoided looking too long at Rhys’s neglected cock, because he was sure he’d end up taking it into his mouth if he did. 

Lucien made to grab the bottle of lube, but Rhys grasped his hand. 

“You seem nervous,” Rhys said, squeezing his hand. Lucien closed his eyes and squeezed back. 

“I don’t want to mess this up,” Lucien admitted. Rhys tugged his hand. 

“Hey, look at me.” He did. “I trust you, okay? I want to do this.” Lucien nodded and looked down at their hands. Rhys pulled Lucien’s hand to his lips and his eyes flicked down Lucien’s body again. 

Lucien hummed and pulled his hand away, the mood shifting again. Rhys grinned and Lucien slapped his thigh, earning a moan from Rhys. Lucien’s lips twitched up.  _ File that away _ .

Lucien knew Rhys was watching as he grabbed the bottle of lube and pumped some into his hand. He positioned himself between Rhys’s open legs and met his eyes. Rhys nodded and Lucien began to massage his hole. 

Rhys bit his lip in an effort to contain the noises that streamed from his mouth. Lucien leaned over him and sealed their lips, his tongue exploring Rhys’s mouth.

Lucien didn’t know how long it had been but two of his fingers were slowly plunging in and out as he watched Rhys struggling to breathe steadily. Adding a third finger would be the test, he knew. So he did. 

Rhys tensed for a moment before relaxing and surging forward to kiss Lucien again, his fingers threading through his hair. Lucien stroked Rhys’s cock a bit before returning his hand to Rhys’s thigh. 

“Fuck, are you done yet?” Rhys groaned, throwing his head back. 

“Just about,” Lucien replied, nipping at Rhys’s jaw. Rhys whined and Lucien laughed. “Poor baby.” Rhys gnashed his teeth and Lucien smirked slowly. “Alright, alright.”

“You were right about the whole lack of patience thing,” Lucien muttered as he grabbed a condom and rolled it on. Rhys had gone quiet, merely observing him. Lucien pumped more lube from the bottle and slicked himself up. 

“I’m going to go slow,” Lucien said, lining his cock up with Rhys’s entrance. “Not just to piss you off, but also because I don’t want to hurt you.” Rhys responded with a silent nod. “Please remember to breathe.”

Then he pushed in just the tip and Rhys’s jaw fell open again. “You look hot with your mouth open like that,” Lucien said as he pushed in a bit more. Rhys moaned loudly, his eyes squeezing tightly shut. 

Lucien squeezed his thigh and tapped his cheek. “Look at me, please,” he whispered before brushing his fingers up Rhys’s cock. Lucien pushed further in as Rhys opened his eyes. He searched them for any sign of pain, but found none. He pushed in the last bit and paused to let Rhys adjust. 

Rhys was breathing heavily and his skin was hot under Lucien’s hands. 

“You’re okay?” Lucien said, brushing back a piece of hair on Rhys’s forehead. Rhys nodded sharply. 

“Keep going.” Lucien smirked and began to move, likely slower than Rhys would’ve liked, not that he showed it. 

Rhys looked—Cauldron, how did he manage to look like that? Like he’d been sculpted from stone, but still remained...soft. 

Rhys reached for him and Lucien leaned over again, bracing his hands on either side of Rhys’s body. Rhys smiled lazily, his eyes fluttering every time Lucien hit that spot. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Rhys said, threading his fingers into Lucien’s hair. Lucien’s own eyes fluttered as Rhys pulled gently on the strands before kissing him. 

Their lips moved sloppily against each other, particularly as Lucien moved one hand down to pump Rhys’s cock in time with his thrusts. 

Rhys began murmuring Lucien’s name against his lips, one of his hands curving over Lucien’s ass. Lucien sped up his pace and Rhys’s body tensed. 

Rhys threw his head back again with a gasp. “Lucien, I’m—“

“I know, love,” Lucien said, his nose skimming Rhys’s jaw. Lucien brushed his thumb over the head of his cock, and Rhys moaned as he came, his face going slack with pleasure. 

Lucien pressed gentle kisses to his face as his arms dropped down beside him. He pulled out and got out of bed to dispose of the condom. 

“Fuck, Lucien,” Rhys said. Lucien glanced back at his boyfriend and chuckled. Rhys had his arm thrown over his eyes as he calmed his breathing. 

“Hmm, what a mess,” Lucien said as he strode back to the bed with a pack of wipes. He’d been prepared. 

Rhys scoffed. “I wonder whose fault that is.” Lucien shrugged, though Rhys couldn’t see him. “You’re lucky I don’t want revenge.”

Lucien smiled and crawled into bed before pulling out a wipe. 

“I do have a plan to get you off though, don’t worry your pretty head about that,” Rhys said as Lucien cleaned up his chest with a snort.

When he was done, he tossed the wipe in the bin, and Rhys sat up. He caressed Lucien’s face with one hand. 

“I could’ve cleaned myself up, you know,” Rhys said quietly, his eyes flicking between Lucien’s lips and his eyes. Lucien nodded, a little smile on his lips. “Good.”

Then he straddled Lucien’s waist and caught his lips in a kiss. Lucien hummed, and Rhys pushed him down on the mattress. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Rhys said, trailing kisses down Lucien’s neck. 

“I won’t,” Lucien said, his focus narrowing to the feel of Rhys’s lips and tongue on his skin. 

“Still.” Rhys stroked a hand up his side, and Lucien sighed, letting his eyes fall closed. Lucien knew what Rhys was doing as soon as he started pressing kisses down his chest. 

That didn’t stop his sharp intake of breath as Rhys touched his lips to the tip of Lucien’s dick. He opened his eyes and looked down at Rhys, whose eyes met his with amusement. 

Rhys’s hands slid under his ass and kneaded it slowly as he sucked. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Lucien breathed, willing his hips not to jerk into Rhys’s mouth. Rhys grinned against him and Lucien clenched his teeth. 

Rhys’s hair fell into his eyes, and Lucien pushed it back and grabbed a handful of it. Lucien exhaled at the noise that came out of Rhys’s mouth and the accompanying vibrations against him. 

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any hotter,” Lucien said shakily. Rhys wiggled his brows and Lucien laughed weakly, his cock throbbing. Rhys slid his hands down to grasp Lucien’s thighs, his eyes glued to Lucien’s. 

Rhys was fucking good at this, but Lucien was growing just a tad impatient. He rolled his hips and Rhys’s teeth scraped against him. It was almost enough to give Lucien what he wanted, but not quite. 

“ _ Rhys _ .” 

Lucien’s back arched as Rhys teased his hole at the same time he flicked his tongue against the tip of Lucien’s dick. Lucien let out a stream of curses as he spilled into Rhys’s mouth, a hand covering his face. 

Rhys released him a few moments later, and Lucien peaked through his fingers at the satisfied smirk on his face. Lucien narrowed his eyes and dropped his hand from his face. Rhys leaned over to kiss him, unhurried and sweet. 

After a moment he lay down, half on top of Lucien, his arm and leg slung over Lucien’s body, his head in the crook of Lucien’s neck. 

“Will we go again later?” Rhys asked, tracing shapes on Lucien’s chest. Lucien huffed a laugh. 

“Later.” 

——

Hours later, Rhys watched and listened to Lucien sleeping. He could barely see him in the dark of their room, but it didn’t matter. 

“You make me very, very happy,” Rhys whispered, stroking his cheek. He pressed a kiss to Lucien’s forehead. “I don’t know what I did to be able to have you in my life, but I’m glad I did it, whatever it was.”

Rhys smiled softly at his lover before tucking his head back into the crook of his neck. 

“When I planned this trip, I had only dreamed that we’d be together as we are. I never thought we’d actually get here, to this point.” His fingers danced across Lucien’s chest. “I hope you’ll stay with me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

With that, Rhys fell silent and sleep claimed him soon after. 


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault, Homophobia and Racism

Rhys woke up to a soft kiss on his jaw and Lucien murmuring, “I’ll make breakfast.” His eyes blinked open and he watched Lucien leave the bedroom. 

Then he proceeded to fall back asleep. 

The second time he woke up—for real this time—Rhys saw Lucien tying his tie for work. He frowned. 

“Lucien,” Rhys said, drawing it out enough that it sounded more like a whine. Lucien glanced back at him as he propped himself up on an elbow. 

Lucien tightened his tie as he crossed the room to Rhys. “Yes?” His good eye twinkled with amusement. 

“You can’t go.” Rhys gazed up into his boyfriend’s face and watched as he smiled slowly and turned to go. Rhys seized his hand and tugged him back before quickly grasping his tie and pulling him down for a kiss. 

Lucien smiled into his lips and ran a hand down his chest. Then he pulled back, though not very far considering Rhys still gripped his tie. 

Lucien’s gaze was fixed on his lips even as Lucien said, “My love, I would very much like to stay—“

“Then stay.” 

“—But I really do have work.” Lucien glanced down at the hand holding his tie, and Rhys shook his head and clicked his tongue. Then Rhys pushed himself up to wrap his arms around Lucien’s neck. 

Lucien sighed and Rhys grinned as he sealed their lips and pulled Lucien down on top of him. 

Lucien’s body was warm as it brushed against his and Rhys hummed in contentment. One of Lucien’s hands trailed down his bare skin and Rhys slid his own hands down from Lucien’s neck to tug at his tie to undo it. 

Lucien huffed a laugh and began to pull away, but Rhys pulled him down farther. Lucien was now bracing himself on his elbows, his body barely even hovering over Rhys’s anymore. Lucien glowered down at him and Rhys smirked. 

He made to rest his hands on Lucien’s back as Lucien raised a brow, but then Lucien rolled his hips slowly into Rhys’s, pressing him down into the bed. 

Rhys moaned, his eyes falling closed. Lucien pecked his lips once more before climbing back out of bed. 

Rhys watched him walk out of the room again, too lazy to follow after him, but he popped his head back in after a moment. 

“Breakfast is in the kitchen,” Lucien said quickly. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Rhys said idly. Lucien smiled at him and Rhys couldn’t help but smile back. Then he left again. 

“Don’t forget your interview today,” Lucien called from down the hall just before the elevator dinged. Rhys made some unintelligible noise and buried his face back into his pillow. 

——

Rhys was uncomfortable from the moment he walked into Hybern Magazine, though he masked it with a calm, collected expression and stance. 

The lobby was dull and somehow gloomy despite the summer sun streaming through the windows. The man at the front desk was pale and had a seemingly permanent sneer on his face. 

Rhys approached the front desk and glanced at the man’s name tag.  _ Attor _ , it read. Right then. 

“I’m here for an interview,” Rhys said smoothly. “With someone called Amarantha?”

Attor raised a brow and looked him up and down, then turned back to his computer. “Third floor.” 

“Thanks.” 

Rhys’s phone buzzed as he walked towards the elevators. He slid it out of his pocket and smiled a bit at what he read. 

_Lucien❤️:_ _You’ll do great xx_

_ Lucien❤️: I’ll be round yours when you come home, Cassian wants to show me a new recipe.  _

_ Lucien❤️: Also, I hope you didn’t leave a mess at my apartment, you’ll pay for it if you did ;) _

Rhys flushed as the elevator dinged. He entered as he typed a reply, then he pressed the button for the 3rd floor. 

_ Rhys: ofc not. do you think I’m some kind of heathen? _

Lucien’s reply came as the elevator reached the third floor. 

_ Lucien❤️: No, but I know you know you’d like the punishment.  _

_ Rhys: Maybe so _

Lucien was entirely correct but Rhys would never give in an tell him that. He almost wanted to—

“Mr. Spera!” A female voice called out. Rhys immediately slipped his phone back into his pocket as he turned towards the voice, hands in his pockets

The voice belonged to a woman with wine-red hair and high cheekbones who was walking towards him. He smiled politely as she stopped in front of him. 

“You must be Amarantha, then?”

She grinned like a cat. “Clever boy,” she said before proceeding to give him a once-over that felt entirely unprofessional. He ignored it. “Come along now.”

Amarantha placed a hand on his shoulder and guided him down the hall. He glanced around at the employees at their desks, but they didn’t seem to notice.

They sat down on a couch in her spacious office, and Rhys made sure to stay at least a meter away from her. She talked as she set up her audio recorder, but everything she said went right over Rhys’s head. 

When she started the interview, it was the normal questions at first—how did you like your co-stars, are you working on any new projects, etc.—but then she asked, “What was it like working with your… partner?”

Rhys froze for a moment and glanced between Amarantha’s face and her hand that rested on the back of the couch. He furrowed his brows. 

“Lucien?” 

She nodded, an innocent smile on her face. 

Rhys shook his head and shrugged. “We weren’t together until long after filming was finished. I was with Cresseida.”

Amarantha laughed. “Oh how silly of me, I’d forgotten you haven’t always liked men.”

“Well—“

“I’m sure you’ll get over it though,” Amarantha said. “All of the girls were so disappointed when you started dating… him.” 

Rhys frowned. “Pardon me, but it’s not something you just ‘get over’.” Her face showed something like annoyance before her little smile was back. 

“Oh, right,” Amarantha said, touching her hand to his shoulder. He hadn’t realised how close she’d gotten. “How insensitive of me. I know you and Mr. Vanserra are very good friends.”

Rhys shrugged her off with a scoff. “You really think—“ Rhys crossed his arms and shook his head. 

“I think you just need the right woman is all,” Amarantha said lowly, her hand trailing down his arm as she moved even closer. Rhys tensed and swallowed. Her hand dropped to his thigh. “That preppy little slave girl couldn’t have treated you like I will.”

Rhys tried to pull away, but she climbed into his lap and trailed her nails across his face. 

“Get off,” Rhys said quietly, squeezing his eyes shut. Amarantha grasped his wrist and brought his hand up to touch her breast. He clenched his jaw and opened his eyes. “Get off.” 

“You’re cute when you pretend you don’t want this.” She rolled her hips against his. 

“I don’t,” Rhys said firmly and tried to push her off. She clicked her tongue and gripped his chin. 

“You don’t know what you want,” she purred, then snaked her hand down, likely to grip him, but he shoved her off and stood quickly. He took a few steps back for good measure after swiping the audio recorder from the table. 

“Give me one good reason why I don’t bring this to the police right this second,” Rhys said, trying to keep his voice strong. Her lips, which had twisted with anger after he shoved her, curved into a smirk. 

“Because there’s nothing on it.”

“What?” he breathed. She laughed like she knew she had power. 

“You really think I would put myself at risk?” She shook her head with a haughty laugh. Rhys’s heart sank. “Now give it back please, pretty boy.” Rhys flinched and tossed it to her. “Bye bye now.”

Rhys kept his breathing steady as he left her office, left the building, and walked to his car. As soon as he sat down in his car, tears began streaming down his face. 

He cried the whole way home. 

———

Lucien laughed warmly as Cassian and Azriel bickered over who could bench press more. Mor was sitting on the kitchen table, eyes flicking between her phone and her cousins, a lollipop in her mouth. Pandora was at the gym training, but Mor promised she’d be over later. 

“I, for one, think Az can do more,” Mor said, staring at her phone. 

“Right, you’re just saying that because you wanna piss me off,” Cassian said, arms crossed. Mor snorted. 

“I’m with Mor on this one,” Lucien piped up. Mor looked over at him with a grin and he winked. “Maybe you should test it.”

“Oh, so you and Mor can ogle at us?” Cassian said crossing his arms of her chest. “Yeah, I don’t think so.” Lucien shrugged. 

“It’s the only way to test it,” Lucien said, looking down at his nails--which he needed to touch up, the polish was chipping. 

Cassian seemed to consider a moment before turning back to Azriel to negotiate. 

Lucien heard the front door open and his smile grew. “We’re in the kitchen!” 

When Rhys appeared in the doorway, however, Lucien’s face fell. Everyone in the room looked at Rhys, whose eyes were puffy and face was haunted, then at Lucien, who was already walking towards his lover. 

Lucien followed him upstairs to his bedroom, where Rhys said down on the bed, his arms wrapped around himself. 

Lucien sat down next to him, but didn’t touch him. “Rhys, baby, please talk to me.”

And he did. 

“We have to go to the police,” Lucien said when he had finished. Lucien was horrified that this had happened—had been  _ allowed _ to happen. 

Rhys shook his head, squeezing Lucien’s hand. “I have no evidence, nothing at all to prove what happened.” 

Lucien nodded slowly before tentatively reaching up to brush Rhys’s hair from his face and stroke his thumb across his cheek. Rhys closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. 

A tear fell and Lucien’s heart ached. Then he wrapped one arm around Rhys’s neck and one around his middle. Rhys melted into him and buried his face in his neck. 

Lucien stroked his hair gently and whispered soft assurances in his ear. 

———

A couple weeks later, Lucien and Rhys were dancing slowly by the 4th of July bonfire as their friends roasted marshmallows and talked. 

Every once and a while conversation would get a bit tense between Mor and Pandora, but Cassian or Az would always smooth it over. 

“You two are grossly in love,” Mor said, lying on one of their picnic blankets, her head in her girlfriend’s lap. Pandora was running her fingers through her hair, smiling softly at Lucien. 

Lucien smiled back at her then stuck his tongue out at Mor. Mor snorted. Rhys hummed and it vibrated through Lucien’s body. 

“Let’s go somewhere a bit more quiet?” Rhys whispered in his ear. Lucien nodded and Rhys led him out towards the water. 

Lucien tripped and threw his arms around Rhys’s neck to steady himself. Rhys chuckled and set his hands on Lucien’s hips to steady him, then he cupped his face with a smile, the moonlight illuminating his face. 

Lucien smiled back at him and Rhys pulled him in for a kiss. Lucien tightened his arms around Rhys’s neck, rocking up on his toes a bit. Rhys tangled his fingers in his hair, his tongue running along the seam of Lucien’s lips. 

Rhys rested a hand on his lower back and pulled him closer. Lucien’s feet sank into the sand and Lucien pulled back, pressing their foreheads together. Rhys’s eyes were still closed, a little smile on his lips. 

“Are you listening to the waves?” Lucien whispered, his lips brushing Rhys’s as he did. Rhys hummed in affirmation. Lucien squeezed Rhys’s neck gently and closed his eyes to listen as well. 

———

Apparently Mor had taken a picture as they had been kissing that night and it now sat on Rhys’s kitchen island. So did Lucien. 

He was watching Rhys make toast and eggs. Rhys had insisted that he make breakfast for once and Lucien was melting at the domesticity of it. Was this what Rhys felt every time Lucien cooked? If so, he didn’t know how Rhys stopped himself from interrupting and snuggling up to him all the time. 

When the toast popped, Rhys took the pieces out quickly and dropped them onto a plate before cutting each piece in half—diagonally. Then he put two halves on one plate and two on the other and split the eggs between them. He dashed over to the fridge for the jam and set it next to Lucien. 

“Breakfast is served,” Rhys said, handing a plate to Lucien. Then he leaned against the island next to him, setting his plate on the counter in front of him. 

Lucien leaned over and pressed a kiss to Rhys’s temple as Rhys spread grape jam on his toast. Rhys glanced sidelong at him with a little smile. 

“What?”

Lucien shook his head, smiling, and gestured for Rhys to hand him the jam knife. He did. 

Mor trudged into the kitchen a few minutes later and walked directly to the coffee machine. Lucien trailed her with his eye then looked back to Rhys with a raised brow. 

Rhys pressed his lips to Lucien’s ear to whisper, “Her and Pandora got in another argument because Mor wanted to try long distance and Pandora shut down the idea.”

Lucien frowned. Pandora hadn’t told him. She hadn’t been around a lot recently and Lucien hadn’t had much luck getting ahold of her on the phone. 

Mor stared at the coffee maker as her coffee brewed, her hands braced on the counter. 

“Do you want me to make you something to eat?” Lucien said as Rhys pushed the remains of his eggs around his plate. 

“I’m fine,” she said, her jaw clenched. 

Lucien and Rhys shared a look. 

“Right, okay, well, Rhys and I are going to the park in a bit if you want to join us.”

Rhys glared at him. Lucien knew Rhys had wanted to just enjoy each other’s company away from the house and their friends, but he couldn’t stand how Mor looked right now. 

“I’m not going to intrude on your day out.” Mor poured herself a mug of coffee. “And anyway, I already have plans.”

_ Right _ . Said plans probably involved snacking while watching binge-watching a show, but Lucien went along with it. 

“Okay,” he said, sliding off the counter and collecting his and Rhys’s plates. Mor began walking out of the kitchen. “You’ll be here for dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, whatever.” She waved a hand as she left the room. 

Lucien huffed as he rinsed the dishes. Rhys came up behind him and slid his arms around his waist. He slotted his head between Lucien’s neck and shoulder. 

“You tried, pumpkin.”

Lucien snorted. “Pumpkin?”

Rhys chuckled, and it made Lucien feel warm. “So, that’s a no, then?” 

“Correct.” Lucien took Rhys’s hand that rested on his abdomen and squeezed it. Rhys squeezed his hand back and kissed his cheek. 

Lucien let go of his hand and gestured with the plates towards the dishwasher. Rhys got the message and released him so he could put away the plates and silverware. 

When Lucien had finished, Rhys caught him in his arms again and pressed his lips to Lucien’s forehead.

“We should probably get dressed,” Lucien said, fiddling with the waistband of Rhys’s pajama pants. 

“Probably.” But he didn’t move, and Lucien didn’t make him.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....it's sad

The next few months were an odd cocktail of tense gatherings at Rhys’s house, everyone playing couple’s therapists for Pandora and Mor, Rhys and Lucien finding a rhythm to their relationship, and sunny Californian days. 

That day had been sunny, though the sun was now setting. 

Pandora stood in the living room of Mor’s apartment, trying to decide how to tell her that her flight to Dallas left  _ tonight _ . 

Mor was in the kitchen making hot chocolate for them even though it had been in the mid-70s today. Pandora had told her she was going to the restroom and at some point Mor was going to realise that she still hadn’t returned. 

Pandora wrung her hands, then ran them through her hair, then rubbed them against her shorts. She kept breathing slowly in and out. 

“Panda?” Mor called as the microwave beeped. Pandora winced and closed her eyes. Mor’s footsteps came towards the living room a few seconds later. “I’m very glad you like your hot chocolate with milk, otherwise I don’t think we would’ve—“ The footsteps stopped abruptly. “What’s wrong?”

Pandora swallowed and looked down at her feet, hands on her hips. “I’m leaving today.” Silence stretched over them and Pandora looked over at Mor. 

Her girlfriend was staring at her with blank eyes, but her knuckles were white as her hands gripped the mugs. Pandora’s heart sank. How was she supposed to handle this?

“Say something,” Pandora said, taking a step towards Mor. Mor stepped back a step. “ _ Please _ .” 

Despite the way that they’d argued for the past few months, Pandora didn’t want Mor getting hurt. It seemed that was inevitable. 

“I wish you’d come with me,” Pandora said quietly, standing helplessly a few feet away. 

“I told you before—“

“I know! I know,” Pandora said, running her fingers through her hair again. She wished they’d met later in life, when they were no longer as ambitious as they were now. “Cauldron, Morrigan, I don’t want to go without you.”

“That’s too bad,” Mor said, then turned and walked back to the kitchen. Pandora hurried after her. 

Mor set down the mugs and turned back to the doorway, clearly meaning to leave the kitchen again, but Pandora stood in her way. Mor looked down at her, her face deceptively blank. 

“Move,” Mor said, trying to walk around her. Pandora grasped her hands. “Don’t you have a plane to catch.” Mor’s voice was so… hard. Everything about her lacked her usual warmth. 

“I’ve got time,” Pandora said, shaking her head and squeezing Mor’s hands. 

“Well, I don’t.” Mor ripped her hands out of Pandora’s grasp and Pandora made some kind of distressed sound as she hurried to cut Mor off again. 

She gently grabbed Mor’s arms and looked up at her face. “Carebear, please, don’t do this.” Mor turned her head to the side. Pandora squeezed her arms. “Hey, hey, we can try long distance, okay?” She cupped Mor’s face and turned it back to her. “We can. I want to. Mor, please.” 

Mor finally— _ finally _ —met her gaze, and Pandora choked on a sob. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” Pandora whispered. Mor touched her own hand to Pandora’s on her face and nodded slightly. It wasn’t a  _ yes _ to Pandora’s offer, it was an  _ I know _ ,  _ me too _ to her most recent statement. 

Then Mor kissed her, slowly and sweetly. Neither of them gave or took more even though more lingered between them. They both stroked each other’s hair and tears mixed on their cheeks. 

Mor pulled back and their foreheads pressed together. Pandora stroked Mor’s cheek with her thumb and Mor fingered a piece of Pandora’s hair. 

Pandora stepped out of her lover’s arms for the last time. Mor wrapped her arms around herself and looked down at her feet. 

“I guess I’ll see you,” she said, her voice breaking. Pandora’s heart twisted. Mor looked so small and undeniably hurt. 

Pandora nodded even though Mor wasn’t looking at her. Pandora backed up, stumbling a bit over herself. Mor glanced up at her as she grabbed her purse. 

The world seemed to slow down. Pandora didn’t know how long they stood there looking at each other, everything and nothing between them. 

Mor opened her mouth, but Pandora turned and walked out of the apartment. 

———

Mor only let herself wallow that night and the following morning. She ignored texts and calls from her family—especially Lucien. 

Pandora had apparently gone to say goodbye to him after leaving Mor’s apartment that night and it didn’t sit well with him. Not that Mor cared. 

Mor’s bedsheets still contained hints of Pandora’s perfume, Pandora’s favourite mug still sat in the kitchen cupboard, photos of the two of them still sat in frames around the apartment. It was like she had never left. Maybe she was busy and couldn’t spend time over here today, maybe she’d only gone to get them food. 

But she hadn’t. 

Mor washed her sheets—now stained with her tears from the past 18 hours—in an attempt to remove Pandora from the space. She stored the picture frames in a cabinet she hardly opened. The mug stayed where it was.

She specifically chose an outfit that night that Pandora had never seen her wear. She curled her hair and slipped bangles onto her wrists. Then she went to the club and let herself flirt with anyone who walked up to her. She spent the night around some guy’s apartment, strolling out the next morning looking only slightly less put together than when she left her own apartment the night before.

Her phone rang in the taxi back to her apartment.

“What,” Mor said, her head back against the seat.

“Oh, thank the Mother,” Rhys said on the other end. “Are you alright? Where are you?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Mor said, fiddling with her nails. “I’m in a taxi right now. Where are  _ you _ ?”

“At home,” Rhys said. Mor could hear the frown in his voice and rolled her eyes. Rhys said something to presumably Lucien, but Mor couldn’t hear what he said. 

“Look, Rhys--”

“Let me know if you want to talk,” Rhys cut in. Mor hated the concern in his voice.

“Sure, whatever.”

“Cass and Az are heading to the gym in a bit if you wanna join them.”

“Great.” She actually considered going, but she wasn’t sure whether Cassian would make her talk or not. She didn’t want to talk.

“Love you--” Mor hung up before he’d finished what he was saying, tossing her phone into her purse. She got a funny feeling in her stomach as she replayed the conversation in her head and decided she didn’t want to feel it anymore.

\---------

_ Two months later -- Christmas Eve _

A knock came at Mor’s apartment door as she blew smoke into her current lover’s mouth. She’d met the girl maybe two weeks ago and had been sleeping with her regularly since then. Mor pulled away with a huff and an eye roll.

“It’s probably my cousin,” Mor explained to the girl on her couch, “or his boyfriend. They both care too much.” The girl didn’t say anything as Mor stood and walked towards the door.

Lucien stood in the doorway, holding bags of groceries, when she opened the door. He sniffed and cringed--apparently the smells of weed and sex didn’t mix well. Mor took a drag of the joint in her hand, nodding at him.

She hummed before blowing the smoke in his face. “At least you’re more subtle than Rhys,” she said. “Less…” She gestured with the joint in her hand. “Smothering.” She stepped out of his way to let him in.

Lucien’s ever-present frown didn’t leave his face as he walked into the apartment and through to the kitchen, though he clearly noted the girl on Mor’s couch—the couch that had changed position probably 4 times since he’d last seen it. He set the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and turned to Mor, still standing between the living room and the kitchen and smoking.

“Where’s the weed, Mor?” Lucien said, soundly only slightly exasperated. He opened the kitchen window before moving to the ones in the living room.

Mor shrugged. “Under the sink.” She didn’t need to see his face too know he was rolling his eyes.

“Which one?” he said flatly, turning back towards her. Mor snorted and put her hands up.

“You got me,” Mor said. The girl on her couch merely watched the situation play out. “Bathroom one.” Lucien headed down the hallway to the apartment bathroom. “I’ll just get more!” Mor leaned against one of her armchairs. 

Lucien strolled back into the living room and plucked the joint from between her fingers. She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off, “No, you won’t.” The look of pity that flashed across his face then was one she’d given him too many times before. She deserved it, but she hated it still.

“Go away,” Mor growled. Lucien sighed. “And tell Rhys to fuck off. I’m fine.”

Lucien shook his head and stayed where he was. “You’re not fine, Mor.”

“I said go away.” Mor tried to push past him, but he grabbed her arm.

“Morrigan Catena, it’s Christmas Eve,” Lucien said harshly. “The least you could do is stop by and say hello to your cousin who has hardly kept his mouth shut for the past two months about you.” Mor refused to meet his gaze and tried to tug her arm away, but his grip held firm.

“Let go.”

“That’s not to mention Cassian who has tried every fucking day to get you to go to the gym with him, and Azriel who has been keeping tabs on you so that we know you’re even alive.”

“Get--”

“You missed Thanksgiving,” Lucien continued. “Do you know what it was like to try and comfort my boyfriend while you were off who knows where, doing who knows what? Do you know, Mor?”

“Stop.”

Lucien released her arm. “Dinner is at 5, if you care.” She did care. She cared more than she wanted to. 

Lucien turned to go, and Mor was about to let out a sigh of relief, but he turned back again and looked at the girl with whom Mor had been sleeping with.

“You look just like her.” Then he left.

“Like who?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Mor said, running a hand over her face. “Please, leave, I have to get ready for dinner.”

\---------

Mor walked up Rhys’s driveway carefully. She’d sobered up in the past few hours but that didn’t make her any less nervous. She had only been to Rhys’s house twice in the past two months--both times for clothing items she was looking for and both times while no one was home.

She knocked on the door and tapped her finger against her leg anxiously. Her heart clenched as the door opened to reveal Rhys.

“I didn’t bring any gifts,” Mor blurted. Rhys shook his head before engulfing her in a hug. “Oh.” She let herself melt into him.

She wasn’t sure when she started crying, but she was crying now and Rhys was running his hands up and down her back.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she pulled away and brushed away her tears.

“It’s okay.”

“But it’s not, Rhys,” Mor said. “It’s not okay. I’m sorry.”

Rhys nodded. “Apology accepted.” Mor let out a little sob and Rhys grasped her hands. “You’re going to be okay, cousin.”

“Rhys, c’mon,” Az called from the kitchen, “Cass and Lucien are bickering over whose sugar cookie recipe is better!”

Mor and Rhys smiled at each other, then laughed when Lucien gasped loudly and started swearing. 

“Rhys!” Lucien yelled this time.

Rhys slid his arm around Mor’s waist. “Let’s go before we wind up cleaning blood off the kitchen floor.”


	39. Epilogue

_ Three Months Later: March  _

Feyre was sitting in her apartment, studying for her finals when her boyfriend called. 

“Hi, Tam,” she said as she answered before running through the script for her final performance again in her head. She leaned back against her couch cushions.

“Feyre, I have something to ask you,” Tamlin said on the other end of the line. 

“Mmhmm?” Feyre looked down at her nails absently.

“Will you move in with me?”

If she’d been holding something besides her phone, Feyre was sure, she would’ve dropped it. 

“I--”

“Obviously not right away, but you’re moving out here anyway…” Feyre didn’t hear him as he continued talking, as she stood and walked to her kitchen to get a glass of water.

The thought of moving in with him frightened her a bit if she was honest. There would be hardly any way to act like they’d broken up--as she’d told her sisters. Nesta would likely come and drag her out of his apartment if she found out… but still...

Feyre had nowhere to go when she moved to LA. It wasn’t easy to get some place to live, plus her student debts meant she wouldn’t even be able to live somewhere nice without falling further into debt.

“Feyre, are you there?” Tamlin’s voice cut into her thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here, sorry,” Feyre said, her brows furrowed.

“So, what do you say?”

Feyre took a deep breath and hoped she wouldn’t regret her decision when she said, “Yes.”

\-------

Rhys leaned against the island in the middle of his kitchen as Mor peeked over Lucien and Cassian’s shoulders. She dipped her finger into the batter and Lucien grabbed her wrist.

“We’re actually working together for once and you can’t keep out of it?” Cassian said, blinking unamused at her innocent face.

“I just wanted to taste it,” Mor explained. “It is  _ my  _ birthday cake you’re making.” Cassian and Lucien shared a look and Lucien released her wrist only for Cassian to pick her up and throw her over his shoulder. Mor barked in protest and Rhys and Azriel both laughed as Cassian carried her into the living room.

“You two are on containment duty,” Lucien said, pointing to Rhys and Az. Rhys stood up straight and saluted Lucien before turning to walk to the living room. He felt Lucien’s eye roll as he did. 

Cassian dropped Mor haphazardly on the couch and she scrambled to get up but Cassian stood in her way. She turned pleading eyes on Rhys and Az--neither of whom were looking to help her out of her current situation. 

They sat on either side of her as she crossed her arms over her chest. Cassian narrowed his eyes at her before heading back into the kitchen. Mor immediately tried to stand up but both Az and Rhys put an arm in front of her.

“Please, you  _ guys _ ,” Mor whined.

“Nope,” Azriel said, leveling her with the same unamused face Cassian had given her in the kitchen. Mor huffed and dropped back against the cushions. 

\-----

A couple hours later, Rhys finished frosting the cake under both Cassian’s and Lucien’s hawk-like supervision. Mor had been allowed back into the kitchen and sat patiently at the table, though her legs bounced with barely contained excitement. She loved cake. 

Cassian handed Azriel the candles and he placed them neatly on the cake as Lucien looked for the lighter in various drawers. When he found it, he lit the candles with a bit of difficulty before Rhys picked up the cake to carry it to the table. 

Rhys smiled at the happiness on Mor’s face as the four of them began to sing Mor happy birthday. She waved her hands like she was conducting them in a chorus as they sang. Rhys set the cake down in front of her. 

When they finished singing, she closed her eyes and blew out the candles. 

“What’d you wish for?” Lucien asked jokingly.

“Well, if I told you it wouldn’t come true, now would it,” Mor said, an eyebrow raised. Lucien huffed a laugh and slid his arm around Rhys’s waist. 

“Now, we cut the cake,” Cassian announced, flourishing the knife in his hand. Lucien squeezed Rhys’s waist. Rhys glanced at him, but he was smiling and watching Cassian carefully cut the cake, and it occurred to Rhys that he’d reflexively done it out of happiness. 

Gods, he was so in love.

\---------

Pandora grinned as she landed the final stunt of her floor routine and her coach clapped.

“Good work today,” she said as Pandora stepped down from the floor and walked towards the bench with her water bottle on it. 

“Thanks,” Pandora said. She picked up her water bottle and took a long sip from it, running a hand over her hair which was up in a bun. 

“I’m confident you’ll place well this season as long as you keep putting in this level of effort,” her coach said. Pandora smiled to herself.

“Of course, thank you.” 

“I’ll see you on Monday?” her coach asked as Pandora started walking towards the locker room. She turned and nodded. “Good, enjoy the rest of your evening, Pandora.” Pandora nodded again and continued into the locker room.

She checked her phone and almost immediately her heart sank as she opened Instagram to posts about Mor’s birthday. She was both frustrated and relieved that she had forgotten about it until this point in the day. 

She went to her contacts and tapped Mor’s. Her thumb hovered over the call button, but she opted to text instead.

_ Pandora: Hey, sorry it’s kinda late, but happy birthday! I hope your day has been great! _

She waited a moment for a reply, but eventually sighed and tossed her phone back into her bag. Her and Mor had hardly spoken in the past 5 months, she didn’t expect a reply. 

Except she got one on her drive home.

_ Mor: Thanks _

_ Mor: Hope you’re doing well _

Pandora rubbed at her chest and swallowed thickly. She  _ was  _ doing well, but the fact that she thought to mention it… Pandora shook her head at herself and focused on the road.

\---------

Lucien dodged the  _ Sorry! _ pieces that were being thrown at his head before dashing out of the room to avoid more attacks. He chuckled as he headed up to the roof where he knew Rhys had been for the past half an hour.

“I thought I’d find you here,” he said as he stepped out onto the roof and spotted Rhys in one of the iron chairs. Rhys looked back at him and smiled softly. 

“Hello, my dear,” Rhys said as Lucien came towards him.

“I beat your family at  _ Sorry! _ and was attacked,” Lucien said as he sat in Rhys’s lap, his legs over the arm of the chair. Rhys hummed and slid his arms around Lucien’s waist. 

“They’re your family too, you know,” Rhys said, pecking Lucien’s lips. 

Lucien shook his head and tucked it into the crook of Rhys’s neck, looking out at the sunset. Rhys pinched him and he sat up.

“Hey!”

“They  _ are _ , Lucien.”

Lucien frowned, not believing him. Rhys reached up and ran a hand through Lucien’s hair, twisting a piece around his finger. He brushed his other thumb along Lucien’s cheek.

“They will tell you so themselves if they have to,” Rhys said. “And then they won’t shut up about it. Ever.” The corners of Lucien’s mouth twitched and Rhys’s eyes lit up. 

Lucien leaned forward to press their lips together and took Rhys’s hand from his cheek to interlace their fingers. Rhys used his hand on the back of Lucien’s head to pull him closer, and Lucien let himself melt into the kiss.

When Lucien pulled away a few minutes later he smiled down at Rhys, a hand on his cheek. Rhys smiled back and squeezed his hand.

“You never gave me the moon on a string,” Rhys said quietly. Lucien cocked his head to the side. “At Cresseida’s party you asked if you’d get a kiss if you gave me the moon on a string.”  _ Oh _ . Lucien blushed scarlet and Rhys’s smile widened. “Now, I think I’ve kissed you many times since then and I have yet to receive the moon.”

“I--”

Rhys shook his head and kissed him again. “Don’t worry, I don’t intend to hold you to it,” Rhys said against his lips.

“Oh, thank the Mother,” Lucien said dryly. Rhys hummed and pulled back, still grinning. “I hate you.” He squeezed Rhys’s hand.

“No, you don’t,” Rhys said, squeezing back. 

“No, I don’t,” Lucien admitted, brushing his thumb against the back of Rhys’s hand.

They looked at each other for a while before Lucien curled back into Rhys’s chest and played with Rhys’s fingers as they watched the setting sun.


End file.
